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1 user currently in Movies / TV / Entertainment: |
Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Movies / TV / Entertainment - Best Stand-up Comic? | | | |
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Who's the best stand-up?George Carlin |
44.4%, 4 votes | Robin Williams |
11.1%, 1 vote | Dennis Miller |
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0.0%, 0 vote | Gabriel Iglasias |
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0.0%, 0 vote | Anyone From That Blue Coller Comedy Tour Movie |
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0.0%, 0 vote | someone else |
44.4%, 4 votes | Multi-voting is disabled.
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Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 96/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Carlin is teh best! Williams a close second... | |||
Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 319/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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What?! No Louis Black? What's the matter with you? I listen to The White Album on a weekly basis. That, and he's always great on the Daily Show. |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 521/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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There's a couple of guy that just crack me up. Bill Engval, Mitch Hepburn or however you spell it. Demetri Somthing, and Some Dude. I forgot the last 2, but they're hilarious. Yeah, real descriptive, I know. |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 321/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Mitch Hedberg! You now officially rock Toxic. Mitch Hedberg is an amazing comic who comes up with stuff that makes you think "Why didn't I ever think of that before?" Like when he was talking about how he thinks Pringles was originally a tennis ball company. But on the first day, a bunch of potatoes showed up and they said "Fuck it. Let's cut 'em up." "I haven't slept for ten days....because that would be too long." And the whole Ritz cracker thing. |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 523/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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Then there's the bananna one. Asked if he wanted a frozen bananna, no, but he wanted one later, so yeah. No wonder people never have arguments in tents...how are you supposed to slam the door? Zip it up real fast? *zzzzzzip* Fuck you. There's a billion examples, he's just amazing. |
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NSNick Laidback Admin Level: 85 Posts: 78/3875 EXP: 5895841 For next: 2699 Since: 03-15-04 From: North Side School: OSU Since last post: 9 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Mitch Hedberg, definitely. He's so awesome. I need to get his CDs. An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You will never see a sign that says "Escalator Out of Order". Only one that says "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. We're sorry for the convenience". (edited by NSNick on 03-26-04 04:30 PM) |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 326/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Yup yup! I quote the escalator thing at work all the time. The stuff he comes up with is so simple yet you wouldn't think of it in a million years. | |||
Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 529/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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Hah, and there's the bananna one, in Nick's sig. If you think you haven't heard em, don't look. Spoiler: I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit. Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck. I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others. I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..." I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away... ...and then at the end of the letter I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated. I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick? I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language. I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here. I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen. One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. You son of a bitch, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera... My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first... ...Every time I go and shave I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say "I'm gonna go shave too" Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful...I'm gonna go pick something up" My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set. On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at... (edited by Toxic on 03-26-04 06:19 PM) (edited by Toxic on 03-26-04 06:20 PM) |
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Cymoro PATRICK DUFFY WILL LASER YOUR SOUL Level: 67 Posts: 146/2216 EXP: 2549743 For next: 43129 Since: 03-15-04 From: Cymoro Gaming Since last post: 6 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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Why would you give me a receipt for a donut? We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. ~Mitch Hedberg What's the difference between a Republican and a Democrat? Republicans blow, and Democrats suck. ~Lewis Black Them and Carlos Mencia are funny as hell. Who's Carlos? Do a Google search. Or watch Comedy Central Presents. |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 530/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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Hedburg is just so funny. I'm going through a jokes page of his, and I just can't stop laughing. I think I need to share some more. At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick." My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice." |
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merc Paragoomba Level: 15 Posts: 56/75 EXP: 15873 For next: 511 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 504 days Last activity: 339 days |
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Nobody mentioned Bill Hicks. You tasteless fucks. |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 327/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Originally posted by merc Bill Hicks is also amazing. It's a shame he's dead though. Awhile back I downloaded one of his shows but I can't remember what it was called. |
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Jarukoth IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79 Posts: 158/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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Kickass comics. Bam: Mitch Hedberg Dane Cook Stephen Lynch Pablo Francisco George Carlin ...You know what, I could just go on naming cool comedians all day. There's just too many! |
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snipy_chipy Silver axe Level: 33 Posts: 82/427 EXP: 215300 For next: 13879 Since: 03-17-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 1 day |
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I do have Mitch Hedberg's CD. But I was kinda disapointed when this joke wasnt included. "I used to live in a apartment and I would put my music loud, cause I like loud music, and the neighbors use to hit the wall. So I would like to mess with his head and say "Go around, I can not open the wall. I dont know if theres a handle on that side, but here, there nothing."" "Rotissery is a morbid faris wheel. Rotating chicken carcasses really make my mouth water." This one's on the CD, but wasnt mentioned earlier. "I know alot about cars, I could look at the car's headlights and tell you exactly wich way its going." "I used to do drugs and I still do, but I used to too." |
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Toxic in a sublime state of mind Level: 75 Posts: 535/2857 EXP: 3732709 For next: 94195 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 8 hours |
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Originally posted by Jarukoth Pablo XD I still have the movie previews sound file. That was one of the funniest things ever. "Kermit the frog as a pimp ' *slap* Where's my money? Where is it!" |
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Saber Goomba Level: 10 Posts: 24/29 EXP: 3784 For next: 630 Since: 03-25-04 Since last post: 502 days Last activity: 339 days |
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Lynch and Carlin all the way. | |||
Christi Level: 19 Posts: 34/124 EXP: 33751 For next: 2026 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 92 days Last activity: 11 days |
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Originally posted by merc I would have if you didn't. Hmmm.....where's David Cross and Steven Wright? Their omissions perplexes me. |
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drjayphd Beamos What's that spell? pimp! Level: 56 Posts: 78/1477 EXP: 1387410 For next: 10766 Since: 03-15-04 From: CT Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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And how about the creamy goodness of Greg Behrendt? Taped his HBO special "Mantastic"... you need. On Desperado (namely, Antonio Banderas): "And your friends go 'Yeah, dude, the violence was beautiful.' Huh? 'Well, you know, the way it was choreographed'... no, HE was choreographed! But straight men are afraid to say that they're titillated by a motherfucker in leather who is KICKING ASS! You know, he's falling onto the car... he's falling onto the car, and it's in slow-mo, and you're sitting there with your buddy and you go 'Fuck, dude... I think I'm getting wood!" On getting into a spat with a fellow guitarist from another band: "And I don't want that to happen, so I say 'No, wait a minute...' and then he just goes, 'Look, dude...' which I know means '...come on, dude...' So then I say 'Is there a problem?' and I give him the little head cock, which is the international male sign for 'I'll fuckin' kick your ass...' So then he says 'Do you want to take a walk?' And then I say 'I'm all ABOUT a walk!' So we go to take a walk... and the funny thing about this is that the club is inordinately long, so we actually HAVE to take a walk..." Other than that, everyone else's covered the best. (edited by drjayphd on 03-27-04 10:51 PM) |
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Ramadan Roy Like Like ...Or you'll be wearing your ass for a hat. Renowned Otaku Level: 44 Posts: 66/816 EXP: 569705 For next: 41580 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 13 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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Basically anyone who is on Comedy Central's standup. I love to laugh. There's this one Black guy, however, whose name totally escapes me. He's absolutely hilarious. He goes like "One day, I was trying to make nun-chucks out of a broomstick like Bruce Lee. Then my mom comes over and takes them from me. She's like "Gimme those!" and starts going all kung fu." | |||
Ruby Weapon 7 Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 29/96 EXP: 22968 For next: 1775 Since: 03-16-04 From: Hell Since last post: 28 days Last activity: 22 days |
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My favorite stand-up comic would have to be George Carlin. I love the fact that he complains about a lot of things and that he has good material. I am also a big fan of Stephen Lynch, Jeff Foxworthy, Mitch Hedberg and Bill Engvall. Stephen Lynch isn't only funny but he sings pretty good also. I love Jeff Foxworthy's redneck jokes. I remember watching the Redneck Games music video with Alan Jackson and it was funny. Mitch Hedberg is just naturally funny and that I first saw him on David Letterman's show back in the mid 90's. I loved the show and I knew that I was gonna be a fan of his work. Bill Engvall along with Jeff Foxworthy and others were great in "The Blue Collar Comedy Tour". I saw it a few days ago on Comedy Central and loved it. NOTE: All comedians are funny in their own way but it depends on what type of comedy you like. (edited by Ruby Weapon 7 on 03-28-04 05:55 AM) |
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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Movies / TV / Entertainment - Best Stand-up Comic? | | | |