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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Basket Case - Yet another one of Grey's complaints, now with relationships! |
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Grey the Stampede Don't mess with powers you don't understand. And yes. That means donuts. Level: 82  Posts: 818/3770 EXP: 5192909 For next: 16318 Since: 06-17-04 From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Grey pulls the string on his overhead lightbulb, Titus-style, and sits on his stool. He then begins to speak: Alright, so if you've been following my posts lately, you'll notice I've been talking about a girl in Anya and Christie's. This girl and I have known each other for about a year and a half, and last month we decided to start dating. However, with this comes a whole slew of new problems. Firstoff, I'm afraid of losing interest. What witeasprinwow said really hit home: What if it is a bad idea to become more deeply involved with one of your close friends? She and I know each other well, but I'm afraid of losing our friendship; I almost liked it better when I was trying to get her to like me. Of course, the companionship and affection I have now are considerable replacements, but much of our friendship was built on us hanging out together not as a couple, not as Grey pursuing her heart (though at times that was a part of it), but as friends. This is only a fear, keep in mind, not what is actually happening. I am still very much interested in her, and I love seeing her and spending time with her, she's quite the lamp that lights up my life. It's just that getting her to open up to me was really hard, she's naturally an extremely shy person, and now that I have a comfortable relationship with her, I don't want to lose all the effort that went into getting to know her to a crappy relationship. Second, is her friends. Due to a rather large problem that I would really rather not get into at this time, or ever, for that matter, her best friend hates me. Another of her friends thinks I'm creepy, and another simply tolerates me. I've done my best to show all three of them that I am indeed a sane, happy, interesting person, but thus far the only one who appears to be fine with me is the one who tolerates me. I have yet to speak to the one that was previously (it's been a few months; I'm thinking I've been forgiven finally) creeped out by me. The third person, however, her best friend, is quite possibly the biggest roadblock between the two of us. This person hates my guts. She insults me behind my back, bothers me whenever she sees me, and generally tries to steal all of the attention away from both of us whenever the three of us are present in the same general area. Not only that, but she drags my friend around constantly, and makes sure that I cannot associate with her by interrupting me whenever I try to talk to her. As a result, our relationship (for she would be mortified if she found out that her bestest friend, whom she is thoroughly convinced hates me, did in fact deeply care about me) is hindered and must be kept more or less a secret until my friend talks to her best friend. She sickens me! The way she treats my lady friend makes me so angry. As I said before, my friend is naturally a very shy person, and she is also extremely passive (something I've tried as hard as I can to accomodate; I've asked her to meet my friends and family, but she's afraid to. Aside from that, I also try to let her make as many decisions as possible, though more often than not she insists that I decide things. I guess we're both just indecisive people). From what I have seen, my friend's best friend takes advantage of this. She is always doing all of the talking whenever I see the two of them together, she constantly makes strange comments toward her, and is always speaking for her, never allowing her to give her own opinion. This may not be true; it is only what I have seen, and surely it must be different in private or in other situations that don't involve me, but what I see angers me nonetheless. I can't stand watching people get taken advantage of, especially someone that I care about as much as her. But I'm getting off topic... Anyway, I'm a bit worried about whether or not the relationship will work. I think I can stay interested as long as she is as well, I know there's so much about her I've learned and there's a heck of a lot more that I can learn. Plus, the physical closeness of it all (the cuddling, the holding hands) is something I've never experienced before. I know it will eventually get old, but at that point I feel perhaps I'll be able to get beyond the sheer nervousness that comes with touching her and really be able to pursue a deeper mental connection than what we have now. I have high hopes for this, it's what I've been waiting for and she's certainly the kind of girl I've been looking for for a long time, but I still can't help but wonder if I should worry or not... At this, Grey reaches up, and turns off his rant-light, saving its hours for another day. (edited by Jean Grey on 08-31-04 08:24 PM) |
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Schwa Green Birdo The Embodyment of Good, infused with the Living Assets "Alpha Psibeam!" (echo effects) Level: 66  Posts: 599/2214 EXP: 2457091 For next: 4760 Since: 04-25-04 From: Spanaway, WA Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 13 hours |
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| To solve this problem, get to the root. Have an intelligent conversation with your friend's friend, ask her why she thinks low of you, verbally process all problems and eliminate the hatred. It may not work at first, but I'd keep trying. I hope that helps. --Schwa |
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Grey the Stampede Don't mess with powers you don't understand. And yes. That means donuts. Level: 82 Posts: 825/3770 EXP: 5192909 For next: 16318 Since: 06-17-04 From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Schwa, I'll be honest here, if it were any other person in the world, I know that would be possible. But this person will not listen to me, my friend has to talk to her. I know exactly why she thinks so low of me, and unfortunately that reason is the same reason as to why I am unable to talk to her. I've gone far beyond the point where I can speak to her civilly; I've attempted to do so before, and all attempts have led to her either yelling at me, or else she'll be extremely forward and intentionally overly nice, so much so that she will do it in a mocking and hurtful way (I.E. Obviously being way too nice just to make a mockery of an effort to be civil). The conversation we most recently had went like this: Grey: Hello (dele--oh wait I was cut off here) (deleted): TOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (huge evil hug: this young woman is about one and a half times my size and strength, as well) HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? OH ITS SO NICE TO SEE YOU AFTER SO LONG!!!!! HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER? I CANNOT BELIEVE YOURE IN MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASS!!!!!!!! IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grey: Yes, I'm sure it ---- (still being cut off) (deleted): SO WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? Grey: Well, I've been mostly writing, reading, watching ani---- (cut off yet again) (deleted): WRITING? WOW THAT IS SO AMAZING!!!!!! Basically, that's the grand scheme of our relationship. It's impossible to get a word in, it's like a superpower of hers. She amplifies it when in my presence, but that's basically what happens when she talks to my friend in my presence as well. Mostly my friend will say something along the lines of "yeah.... >.>" and other passive agreements. She does this a lot, and I wish she wouldn't, but it's a character trait of hers. I just need to do something besides talk, talk isn't helping anymore, and I don't want to bring adults into this. I have to somehow convince my friend to stand up for herself so that we can enjoy our relationship in peace... But, Schwa, thank you for the suggestion, perhaps if I wait awhile and try that after all else fails, it may work. However, for the here and now, the problem does still exist... |
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Schwa Green Birdo The Embodyment of Good, infused with the Living Assets "Alpha Psibeam!" (echo effects) Level: 66 Posts: 633/2214 EXP: 2457091 For next: 4760 Since: 04-25-04 From: Spanaway, WA Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 13 hours |
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| Then write her a letter. Write something really long. She can't interrupt paper. She may not read it, though. Try, though. You must try. If nobody were to try, nobody would get anywhere. I'm so sorry about your problem, man... Extremely sorry. I don't really know what to do, I've never had a relationship with a girl. You may not want to answer this, but... What's the reason she hates you for? |
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Grey the Stampede Don't mess with powers you don't understand. And yes. That means donuts. Level: 82 Posts: 878/3770 EXP: 5192909 For next: 16318 Since: 06-17-04 From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Well before I do that, you need to know that I have trouble controlling my temper at times, every few years or so it all just builds up and I burst out and get incredibly angry. It's unhealthy, I know, so I've taken steps to start preventing it from happening. It's an extremely good reason, I overreacted to a prank that was pulled on me several months ago and people got kinda nervous about it, but it was because I lost my temper for the first time in a long time and just blew my top, I was under a huge amount of stress at the time. I couldn't control my anger and I started yelling at people. For awhile the person thought I was actually going to hurt my friend. I'd never do that, never, but she thought I would. Since then I've decided to try some anger management techniques; last school year was extremely stressful for me, and I've tried as hard as I can to get a grip on my anxiety. Thus far I've been able to keep control of it, I haven't gotten angry, really angry, since the incident, and I don't ever want to again. Nowadays everyone knows I won't let something like that happen anymore, even my friend's friend. But that doesn't stop her from disliking me. I actually think it's because she's a bit jealous of me, jealous of the fact that her best friend might like someone else, but that's extremely conceited of me, so I try not to think that thought very much. The best solution I can see is to just keep doing what I am doing, tolerating her need to dislike me and insult me behind my back, and confronting her only if she has enough of a problem with me to actually talk to me about it. I firmly believe that only through my actions can I show her that I'm not going to do anything bad, because actions speak louder than words, and no matter how much fortune cookie bullshit I spew out, that's gonna remain a truth above all else. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57  Posts: 106/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| Wow this is intense stuff right here. Well, of course, I'd tell you to tell your friend's friend on how you would never hurt her and how you feel about her. Mention that I don't give a shit on how much you dislike me cuz I'm willing to give you a chance to be my friend because, of course, your her best friend. If that don't work you can just shove it and let her make her own decisions you vile person. Or, get that friend of hers that can stand you to spy on thier conversation. To see what that evil friend of hers truely says about you behind your back along with if she agrees with any of that. Well that's all for my ideas to help you out. Seeing as I never had to deal with a situation like this before. Also, I'm really shy like that girl you like but if I had a friend like she does. Ooo, I'd already given her a piece of my mind. Even though I'm not mean to my friends. She just seems so...ergh! I can't even think of anything to say seeing as I probably couldn't stand her after the first couple of times of hanging out with her. |
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Ambigore Shyguy Level: 17 Posts: 93/95 EXP: 22388 For next: 2355 Since: 03-27-04 Since last post: 208 days Last activity: 10 days |
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| This may or may not help. | |||
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Colleen Administrator Level: 136 Posts: 4335/11302 EXP: 29369328 For next: 727587 Since: 03-15-04 From: LaSalle, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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