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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Modern Art - Two New Poems |
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 470/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| Don't see too many poems in here, but I thought I would get some feedback... My Birmingham A picture on my wall Stares blankly back at me A clean and empty canvass That no one else can see No artist there to paint it Its me who fills the gap Within the edges of the frame Why cant life have a map To show me what to do To fill that empty space To start building my Birmingham With no regard to time or place A painter comes into my room He looks at me with knowing eyes He knows the canvass that he sees Is empty yet its mine Have I met her yet? Am I on the right path? He says I'll find out soon There will be no turning back A picture on my wall If I look close I'll see Shapes take form and colors flow That no one else can see Falling In The course of life Winding Waving Trying As if the Maker doesn't want you to succeed Along the narrow path Downed trees Muddy Rivers Deep Holes Holes, you can fall into them Holes, each with a name Pride Malice Greed Love All holes are escapable All but one Love The Deepest Hole What lies at the bottom Happiness Serenity Hope Peace Along the way I have found them all The Sins Of obstacles, I've met all but one Love I will shout it to the world When I start falling in (edited by Kario on 08-24-04 05:39 PM) |
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Mario Maniac Snifit Level: 26 Posts: 31/281 EXP: 100860 For next: 1415 Since: 08-01-04 Since last post: 243 days Last activity: 167 days |
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| Are you have written them? | |||
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 475/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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Originally posted by Mario Maniac I assume you are asking if I wrote them. Yes I did. |
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Katastrophe Cheep-cheep Level: 22  Posts: 35/187 EXP: 54697 For next: 3653 Since: 08-02-04 From: The Mushroom Kingdom Since last post: 244 days Last activity: 3 days |
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| You are a good creator of poems. Maybe if you write more, someday probably you will be someone famous. | |||
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Mario Maniac Snifit Level: 26 Posts: 36/281 EXP: 100860 For next: 1415 Since: 08-01-04 Since last post: 243 days Last activity: 167 days |
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Originally posted by KarioOriginally posted by Mario Maniac Oh yes, sorry. Nice job. At a long time ago I was have to make a poem to the school. I'm really not good with these things. |
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 477/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| Woo hoo, I have two fans! Anyone else? | |||
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Katastrophe Cheep-cheep Level: 22 Posts: 58/187 EXP: 54697 For next: 3653 Since: 08-02-04 From: The Mushroom Kingdom Since last post: 244 days Last activity: 3 days |
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| Yeah, I am your fan. Do you know some place that the peoples write poems and get money? If you know, go to this place! (edited by Mega Luigi on 08-22-04 06:43 PM) |
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 478/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| I wish I did. Since this is still at the top, I will just put another poem in this thread. Bring Back The Pain Once I had a brother And a loving mother A faint and whispering memory They have now become I tucked the pain away That final day of May I have now forgotten them My love for them is numb Who was my brother Who was my mother I cannot recall There care for me seems vain I want to recall The things that made me fall I want to remember them So please bring back the pain |
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Mario Maniac Snifit Level: 26 Posts: 54/281 EXP: 100860 For next: 1415 Since: 08-01-04 Since last post: 243 days Last activity: 167 days |
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Looks like you have some talent on the poems area. Very good! Maybe I'll hear of you someday.  |
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KATW King Yoshi "If you stare at something long enough, it can be funny." Level: 86  Posts: 1707/3959 EXP: 6087979 For next: 54128 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 7 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| Incredible. These poems flow, and have the depth and great emotional touches a poem should have. Ever thought about a career as a writer?  |
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DarkSlaya POOOOOOOOOOOORN! Level: 88 Posts: 1572/4249 EXP: 6409254 For next: 241410 Since: 05-16-04 From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| You've got talent, alot of it. And I Like the third one best, by the way. | |||
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 479/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| I never really thought of writing as a career. I never thought I was that good. I wouldn't know how to get started in that direction anyway. Thanks for the feedback guys, spread the word, get more people reading them. Maybe there are some other poets around here just hiding themselves... | |||
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Mario Maniac Snifit Level: 26 Posts: 65/281 EXP: 100860 For next: 1415 Since: 08-01-04 Since last post: 243 days Last activity: 167 days |
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Well, it happens. Sometimes you discover in what you are good by coincidence. |
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 481/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| That last one I kinda forced out of me, and I don't like that. I was actually inspired to write this one. Let me know which one is better. Bring Back The Pain A Picture Of Us Mom, Jon, And Me I'm the only one living The one of the three Cursed with this life I must go on living While they walk the golden paths In the crystal sea they're swimming I try to remember Who those two were The memory is gone Of him and her I hid all the pain I cast out the grief It was too much to bare I needed relief But when those things left me It seems so did they I want to bring them back again I want to bring back the pain (edited by Kario on 08-24-04 05:46 PM) |
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Mario Maniac Snifit Level: 26 Posts: 92/281 EXP: 100860 For next: 1415 Since: 08-01-04 Since last post: 243 days Last activity: 167 days |
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To me, the two are a good one. As a amateur in create poems, to me almost everything is good. |
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Katastrophe Cheep-cheep Level: 22 Posts: 78/187 EXP: 54697 For next: 3653 Since: 08-02-04 From: The Mushroom Kingdom Since last post: 244 days Last activity: 3 days |
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| You see? You must create an business. This poems is amazing!! | |||
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Kario In Possession of a Stolen Shovel Level: 65 Posts: 497/2082 EXP: 2321379 For next: 14249 Since: 03-15-04 From: Texas... Yeehaw! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 17 hours |
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| I think I'll just keep updating this thread with poems... Ode To Air Air, you are so wonderful You give life to me Were it not for sweet sweet air I'd die instantaneously In my mouth and nose you go Down into my lungs Distributed to arms and legs So I can wave and run Air you are so magical You're everywhere I go I may never see you Except for when it's cold You give life to plants and things You'll always be around Until our Ozone layer's gone And life comes tumbling down I thought I knew you No matter how hard I try Nothing seems to matter You never really notice The effect it has thereafter I want to tell you the truth I want to tell you lies But no matter what I say You never seem surprised You've heard it all before It's all the same to you No matter who says it It doesnt seem that new Different Person Different Time Different Reasons Altogether But you've heard it all so many times It doesnt seem to matter So now I quit, I cant go on You make no sense to me I thought that I knew you But only who you used to be |
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DarkSlaya POOOOOOOOOOOORN! Level: 88 Posts: 1777/4249 EXP: 6409254 For next: 241410 Since: 05-16-04 From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| How did I noticed the last two. Great, as the others |
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