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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Inconsideration |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.  Level: 73  Posts: 10/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Bleh, I'm feeling like shit lately, and I need a third party opinion on something. One week and two days ago, my partner and I broke up. And now I am trying to get the remainder of my belongings from him so that I can move forward with my life a little. Now, Ben (my ex) has said that he will bring my things here in his van, and he said he would do it in Tuesday. He didn't. I asked if he could do it last night too, and he wouldn't give me any indication either way, then late at night said he couldn't. Now he says he doesn't want me asking him when it will be done, it will just get done when it gets done. Personally, I find this a little inconsiderate. I have to be here all the time then, as I don't know when he's going to arrive with my things. I have to wait up all hours of the night, because knowing him, he could leave it till three in the morning or even later. And he won't call me to give me any indication of when this is going to happen, not even as far as what DAY it will happen, much less what hour, so I have to wait here CONSTANTLY in case he arrives! I'm sorry, is it just me, or is he being really inconsiderate? He assumes that I have nothing better to do and that I'll just be here all the time and any hour of the day or night is fine. Is this inconsiderate, or am I overreacting? (edited by ChibiTaryn on 03-18-04 03:14 AM) |
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Mario2485 Micro-Goomba Level: 8  Posts: 9/17 EXP: 1711 For next: 476 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 588 days Last activity: 305 days |
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I think you might be overreacting, just do something while waiting for him to bring your stuff. Just watch tv or do something you like. If your stuff doesn't come for like a few weeks, then you can talk to him. Talk to him calmly and tell him why you need your stuff as soon as possible and also say please  (edited by Mario2485 on 03-18-04 12:52 AM) |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 17/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| So you know, the stuff in question is the following: My computer My books My important files (forms, tax information, payslips, etc) The thing is, I can't really do anything with my life until I get it, and he knows that as well. I need the computer because it has important files on it, and I need those important files to look for work. I'd like to use my computer to look for a place to live too. The books, I like, but are mostly unimportant, I suppose. The important files I also need to look for work and find a place to live.... He knows I need these things urgently. That's why I think he's being inconsiderate, because he KNOWS how badly I need these things, but he won't even give me any indication of when, he just wants me to sit here all day and wait. (edited by ChibiTaryn on 03-18-04 03:20 AM) |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143  Posts: 80/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 76/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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| If I were you, I | |||
Anya The Exile Ultima Mezcla de Yin Yan Level: 98  Posts: 333/5337 EXP: 9530313 For next: 124040 Since: 03-15-04 From: South Florida Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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| I agree with Sofie. You need those things to do what you need to do. I would call him up, tell him that you need those things ASAP and if he doesn't bring them over that night, the next day, go over there and get your stuff. | |||
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Kwan Doesn't have a valid sized userpic. ||bass will be pissed :(((((((( Level: 50  Posts: 135/1137 EXP: 937111 For next: 10206 Since: 03-15-04 From: Durkadurkastan! Since last post: 22 days Last activity: 2 days |
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Sofie:   I think he is inconsiderate. He promised to bring your things, and he should stick to that promise. Anyway, considering how urgently you need them I go with Sofie and go get the stuff yourself. |
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merc Paragoomba Level: 15 Posts: 22/75 EXP: 15873 For next: 511 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 504 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| She can't. They only way to do so would be to catch the train, ride up, grab one item, ride back, ride up again, get the next item... each way is $3+. A rock and a hard place if there ever was. |
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Kwan Doesn't have a valid sized userpic. ||bass will be pissed :(((((((( Level: 50 Posts: 150/1137 EXP: 937111 For next: 10206 Since: 03-15-04 From: Durkadurkastan! Since last post: 22 days Last activity: 2 days |
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| Furniture removers then, if you want to save cash(?) | |||
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merc Paragoomba Level: 15 Posts: 23/75 EXP: 15873 For next: 511 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 504 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| Asking family or friends for assistance may be better. | |||
neotransotaku Baby Mario 戻れたら、 誰も気が付く Level: 87 Posts: 191/4016 EXP: 6220548 For next: 172226 Since: 03-15-04 From: Outside of Time/Space Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Originally posted by Anya sometimes you have just have to do things yourself...it sucks when that happens but um...that is the way it goes? any ways, good luck with part of your life Chibi |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 57/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| The thing is, my family are in Queensland at the moment, so I can't ask them for help, like I said to Merc, my best alternative is to ride the train there, get an item or two (whatever I could physically carry) ride back, dump them at home, ride back again... Although there is a cheaper way of doing it than I previously thought, this also relies on Ben actually being at the office as he's taken my bloody keys so I can't get in!!  |
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Kasumi-Astra Administrator Level: 62  Posts: 105/1867 EXP: 1971846 For next: 12840 Since: 03-15-04 From: Reading, UK Uni: Sheffield, UK Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 12 hours |
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My guess is that he doesn't feel it's important because he thinks that everything is tied up and finished already. Put it to him that he only has to do it quickly, and then it can be over and done with  Keep us updated, it's good that you're keeping the pressure on him. Without motivation and nagging, *some* guys won't do a bloody thing |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 59/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| He's told me to stop "busting his balls" about it, ie, stop bugging him about it, and has just said that he'll "get it done when it gets done". We had a very violent verbal argument about it, and not a single word of my side of the story sunk in to him, it's like talking to a brick wall but worse.... at least I can make a mark on a brick wall. No indication of when that is, so I have to wait around all the time till then. I'm not allowed to call and find out. No idea if this is even this week or the next or next month or year, or if I have to wait until the time our Sun's a bloody Black Dwarf for crying out loud. I am utterly powerless to do ANYTHING bar go to the office and BREAK IN. |
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Kefka Indefinitely Unbanned Level: 81 Posts: 257/3392 EXP: 4826208 For next: 166641 Since: 03-15-04 From: Pomona, CALIFORNIA BABY! Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| Well, he's being a jackass. But from the sound of it, he is pretty much forcing you to stay in the house... of course, you could call him back and just ask him for a more definitive time, perhaps just the day, that he will come by. | |||
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 63/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| I try to find out even just the day, but he won't tell me. He just says "he doesn't know" and "it'l get done when it gets done" and that he's "too busy". I have to do shopping today, and I'm too worried that if I leave the house, he'll arrive and I won't be here. There's no food in the house, but.... Although admittedly, he's more likely to arrive at some time like three in the morning.  |
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Waddler-D Deddorokku Level: 33  Posts: 13/442 EXP: 227132 For next: 2047 Since: 03-15-04 From: Orange Ocean, Popstar Since last post: 168 days Last activity: 123 days |
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Ugh... it's like he is making you a prisoner in your own home through the dreaded methods of manipulation, quite possibly. While he could just be extremely lazy or like you said in the title, inconsiderate, it's still not right of him to have this done to you. Though from what I'm seeing, it just feels that he's throwing a loophole here or something. There's no reason for him to be this about the delivering of your stuff. I'm just wondering, how long has this been going? As I would think it would be against the law if he keeps that kind of stuff up... At least it something that I see in civil court on the TV. (Yes, a little sad of me...  )While I can see why you're staying there at your house, if you feel the need to get some groceries if he hasn't come by, then do so. I think that you shouldn't starve yourself over not getting your stuff, but that's just my suggestion. Maybe a quick way to get that shopping done somewhat quickly is setting up a list and knowing what to get when you walk in the store. That way you could be in and out sooner than the strolling through the aisles. Still, I don't think that you should let your ex control you like this, even if he's meaning it or not. |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 78/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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Originally posted by ChibiTaryn And since when can he (still) order you around? Bug him about it as much as you can, and if you |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 79/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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Last time I tried to be a bit selfish, he said I was making him angry, and if he got angry, he'd break something, and gee, look my stuff is just right here, he might break that....  he threatens me a bit actually.  And I know that being pushy is just going to make him think he can be even MORE of a jerk. He'll do it to prove a point to me. |
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Kefka Indefinitely Unbanned Level: 81 Posts: 264/3392 EXP: 4826208 For next: 166641 Since: 03-15-04 From: Pomona, CALIFORNIA BABY! Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| From the sounds of it, you are letting him control you completely. I agree with Kitty Mage on this one. Call the bastard and tell him what times would be best for you. |
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