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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Basket Case - please read this |
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Aioria Boss Bass  Yes I will!! ;D  Middle Ages Warrior Level: 58 Posts: 307/1567 EXP: 1516086 For next: 61460 Since: 03-15-04 From: near the pneumon ultramicroscop icsilicovolcanoconiosis land Since last post: 19 days Last activity: 19 days |
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| > Darwin Awards are out for 2004 > > > > Yes, these are all true. They are finally out again. It's an annual > > honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service. > > Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which > > toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out > > of it. > > > > And the nominees this year in reverse order are: > > > > 7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, > > because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with > > milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited > > into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire > > burned his house down, killing both he and his sister. > > > > 6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died > > of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and > > weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and > > white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to > > create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas > > mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in > > its place The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow > > tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was > > inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his > > suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of > > his death to his family very awkward. > > > > 5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude > > when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the > > occupa= nts of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft > > and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants > > around their ankles. > > > > 4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he > > tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad > > trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, > > taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, > > anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and > > hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said > > investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. > > "The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance > > between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said. Police say the > > apparent cause of death was "Major trauma." > > > > 3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a > > friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. > > The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized. > > > > 2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell > > of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, > > extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. > > After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas > > company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they'd > > difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the > > lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the > > technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that > > resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like > > object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to > > three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter > > was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of > > causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers. > > > > AND THE WINNER..... 1. Based on a bet by the other members of his > > threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball > > washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and > > testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer > > and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his > > buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with > > Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. > > Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and > > tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the > > ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his > > testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. > > Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was > > plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the > > other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the > > housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult > > to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased > > from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed > > to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to > > leave the course. > > NB: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. > > But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of > > stupidity, we have allowed it.  lol |
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Alastor the Stylish Hey! I made a cool game! It's called "I poisoned half the food, so if you eat you might die!" Have a taco.  Level: 114  Posts: 837/7620 EXP: 16258468 For next: 51099 Since: 03-15-04 From: Oregon, US Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Congratulations. Your ability to post urban legends as fact without doing any background checks is truly astounding. | |||
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Aioria Boss Bass Yes I will!! ;D Middle Ages Warrior Level: 58 Posts: 308/1567 EXP: 1516086 For next: 61460 Since: 03-15-04 From: near the pneumon ultramicroscop icsilicovolcanoconiosis land Since last post: 19 days Last activity: 19 days |
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thank you!  |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101  Posts: 1061/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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| You know what's next don't you? Yup. The royal L-Bomb. |
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