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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Trying to kick it up a notch. | | | |
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Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 1956/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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I just got back from my second outing with a girl I've been keeping in close contact with. It went very well. It even ended with a hug. What I want to know is how to get out of that dreaded "Friend Zone" (aah! help! i'm in the friend zone! oh no!), and get to the next level. the part with the casual smooches and snuggling up next to a fire watching some chick flick to make her happy and to show I care. I really care about her, I think she knows it, and I can tell she likes me, because, being a naturaly quiet person, she won't shut up when talking to me. 3 hours. That's our last IM convo. So... advice, please? | |||
Slay Level: 25 Posts: 332/339 EXP: 85592 For next: 4028 Since: 04-28-05 From: Threshold Between Heaven and Hell Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Now, I could be misinterpreting or I may be reading you incorrectly, but from the way you word that, it seems to me that you only dread being in the "friend zone" because it's so stigmatized (may I note, mostly by lame, sexist standup comics), and not because you genuinely dislike the place you're in. You have to ask yourself, "What is it I want out of this relationship?" If you're already close, and physically affectionate to some degree, what else do you desire? Just sex? If so, you are quite young for such a thing... Of course, "getting to the next level" isn't always as glamorous and terrific as it may seem. With whatever it is more that you're seeking comes added responsibility. To become girlfriend and boyfriend, you'd have to spend a lot more time together, and from the way you describe her as quite chatty, she seems like she might be clingy and give you no personal space or "away" time. Not to mention the fact that you'll have to start buying her gifts for the holiday and her birthday, and you'll have to start paying for all your outings, and since you're seventeen, you might not even have a job. But please, correct me if I'm wrong about your intentions and desires. I don't know you personally, and you weren't very specific, so there's a good chance I misinterpreted something. I don't mean to offend, but I'm impatient and spur-of-the-moment, so I couldn't have just said, "more info please" and reserved my advice for later. Edit Follows "Bam!" (edited by Slay on 10-24-05 08:43 AM) |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 5623/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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Kiss her. | |||
Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 1973/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Slay: Yes, lame stand ups do give me stuf like that sometimes. It was merely a reference. She's not clingy, she just likes to talk when I'm around, and she's a generally quiet girl in school around everyone else except her friends. Shy, really. I went out with her again recently, and we saw Waiting together. She loved it. At the end of the night, I got a hug, so, yeah. I'm a very lonely, depressed man. I have a job, I pay for everything as it is. I'm now out 19 bucks cause of that movie, but it was worth it. On Friday, I'll be spending the afternoon at her place with her friends for a movie night in the basement. Sounds fun. Any advice is appreciative. Leg: I'm working up to it. I don't want to seem pushy. |
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Legion banning people for no reason sure is fun Level: 101 Posts: 5625/5657 EXP: 10399737 For next: 317938 Since: 03-15-04 From: The Crossroads is under attack! Since last post: 5 days Last activity: 5 days |
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You wont seem pushy, you're already past your second date. You're a little late actually, but not too late. D: | |||
Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 1975/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Dude, here's the thing. I met her the first week of October. SInce then, we've stayed in touch via AIM and cell phones, and we've been together twice. This Friday, she invited me to a movie night at her place with her friends (guys and girls), wherein we all watch movies for about 6 hours straight. I doubt I can kiss her then, if she's even ready for it after 20 days. Besides; I'm still not 100% on how she feels about me yet | |||
Crim~ Blue Octorok Level: 10 Posts: 45/46 EXP: 4146 For next: 268 Since: 05-09-05 From: The Wild Wild West, Los Angeles Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 2 days |
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Why don't you just tell her that you're interested in becoming more than friends, then ask her how she feels about you? | |||
Cornellius Buster Beetle Level: 33 Posts: 452/460 EXP: 224182 For next: 4997 Since: 06-04-04 From: Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada Since last post: 3 days Last activity: 10 hours |
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Yeah, after the hug, just kiss her. Tell her you're having a good time with her, that it was a good date and all. You won't seem too pushy, don't worry. | |||
Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 3187/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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A lot of girls are what I call hug whores, meaning they hug everyone and anyone without any meaning to it. That doesn't mean that her hug for you didn't mean anything, but don't look too far into it. If you want to know if she likes you, you have to take a step in that direction and do something. Since you aren't dating (right?) then ask her out, and make sure she knows it's not just a friend date, but a real one. See how she takes it. If all goes well, maybe you could kiss her. Maybe you would want to wait. It's really up to you. But I don't think playing a guessing game like you are now will work. | |||
Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2932/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Yeah, go with what Danielle said. Oh yeah, what she said about Hug whores or whatever is true. A lot of girls do that so don't take it too much to heart. Just really ask her out, straight up, like to go to the movies or something. Maybe even to go kick it at the mall or something . | |||
Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 1989/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Thank you for all your help. I told her how I feel, and if she want's to become boyfriend/girlfriend. She said yes. Thank you, all |
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Snika Boo Level: 44 Posts: 888/916 EXP: 600678 For next: 10607 Since: 07-21-04 From: Freezing Cold Alaska! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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Good job, dude! I guess words can be a powerful thing. I'll remember that. |
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 3221/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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Congrats man. That wasn't so hard, was it? | |||
Shane -26- Ninji Level: 17 Posts: 221/239 EXP: 21382 For next: 3361 Since: 09-30-05 From: The Sunny SouthEast of Éire Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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Ahh, I like a happy ending (or do I?) (edited by Shane -26- on 10-29-05 07:36 AM) |
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Slay Level: 25 Posts: 336/339 EXP: 85592 For next: 4028 Since: 04-28-05 From: Threshold Between Heaven and Hell Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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The Danielle says... You say that as if there's something wrong with it... |
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Wurl 4.0 Level: 18 Posts: 237/244 EXP: 27558 For next: 2339 Since: 09-11-05 From: Illinois: Land of Eternal Desert Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 10 hours |
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Originally posted by SlayThe Danielle says... It can blur the lines of affection. |
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 3267/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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Originally posted by SlayThe Danielle says... Why would it be a good thing in this situation? |
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Clockworkz Birdo "Hoargh! Take your shoes off!" Level: 64 Posts: 1995/2002 EXP: 2188320 For next: 25777 Since: 03-15-04 From: Undisclosed Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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Now we've been hanging out on a regular basis. Dinner at my place, she met the folks, my sister and her finacee, we've kissed (well, I've kissed her; didn't get one back. It's only been on the cheek, and only a couple times), and I can tell she really cares about me as much as I do. I don't think she wants to rush things, so I'm going to back off just a bit. |
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