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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - In a quandry; a love-related quandry |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76  Posts: 2066/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| BL said everything of what he should do. It seems like he's the last person that she'd think be interested in her if he doesn't talk to her on a daily basis or barely does (that's what I'm getting from this). It sounds like you guys are just classmates and not so much friends like talking outside of class. You have to work your way more into her life and Open the communication lines a teeny tiny bit more and see where it takes you. I'm sure if you talk to her more than you do now that you'll get somewhere with this including the questions you want answered. | |||
Grey the Stampede Don't mess with powers you don't understand. And yes. That means donuts. Level: 82  Posts: 3117/3770 EXP: 5192909 For next: 16318 Since: 06-17-04 From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| If he DOES do that, then he's also running the risk of being considered just a friend more than a love interest... So he's got to weigh his options. Seph, love is a tactical thing: You should know about that stuff from experience. Just apply what you've learned about battle to romance, just substitute a powerful attack for a powerful sign of emotion. Start off slow, learn your opponent's strengths and weaknesses, and then when they're caught off-guard, surprise them with a real gamewinner. From there it's just keeping up a good run of successive strikes, and you're home free. Just don't overextend yourself in the courtship stages, or you'll run out of resources halfway through the battle, so to speak. |
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Danielle Local Moderator  Level: 76  Posts: 2121/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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Originally posted by Guilty Grey X I like that advice.  Would a gamewinner be, say, flowers? A nice letter? Something along those lines? |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38  Posts: 155/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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| I still feel you all are truly making this far far far far far more complicated than it really needs to be. | |||
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2074/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| He just needs to get closer to her then BAM hit her with a letter and flowers expressing his feelings towards her. That's what I meant by getting close to her. I just didn't clearly mention that part. If he really wants this girl he can't sit around and just talk to her this way, he needs to get inside her mind and figure out how he can suprise her to make her happy. | |||
Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 605/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| Some (possibly) bad news... After what I saw today at the car rider line, I think she DOES have a boyfriend after all. I saw this one guy with her arms around her waist and, if I remember correctly, kissed her on the cheek as well. I know it was uncertain before because she would always be talking about guys who she thinks are cute and nothing more (at least I don't think she would say anything "more" than that), but what I saw probably came as evidence of this. Now I just don't know what to sob over more (well, maybe "sob" is the wrong word, but something along the lines of that)... the fact that she's (probably) dating (in short, jealousy) or the fact that I was too shy to do or say anything when I had the chance, or hardly anything, anyway (in short, pity/guilt). Worse yet, we have Labor Day off, making it a 3-day weekend, and normally 3-day weekends are the best thing that could happen to everyday High Schoolers at our school, because it is just that: an extra day off... but for me, it's also yet an extra day to add to the days of self-pity over the fact that I knew I COULD have done something with/for her, but didn't (or at least I didn't do MUCH of anything, besides talk very briefly/say "hi" or "goodbye" to her a few times in class). It's like I'm seeing de-ja vu all over again, being left out for some other guy, only this time, I didn't actually GET rejected, I was never really in the picture at all on this one (and if I did, just bleakly). If it's true and if I find out that she was actually dating this guy for some time now, then I know I'm not to blame (as in it wasn't really my "fault" even though emotional guys like me like to think that way of themselves whenever this happens), but if she started dating him earlier on this week or even as early as last week... well, then I'll NEVER forgive myself for being so shy. Granted, I am a really nice guy in real life, according to many people who know me personally... but being really nice doesn't compensate for extreme shyness. If you're this shy, most people probably won't even see it in you, after all. Now, call this desperation if you will... but when it's all said and done, I'm gonna ask her Tuesday, and that's NOT a threat, that's a promise! I wish I could say it was a promise earlier on when it might have mattered, but I just didn't know when or how I could put it into good word with her. Now I have no reason to hold back any further, and if for some reason it's the answer I'm longing for, then I won't give a second's hesitation to do what I've been meaning to do since earlier this week (or even if it's what I think it is and feel the desperate need to plead/whine about it in this forum, then don't worry about it as it'll surely be in the stickied "Club for the Lonely Hearted" thread rather than as a seperate thread or even this one). After all, I saw her and one of her "guy" friends kiss eachother on the cheek, too, to say goodbye... maybe it's just a "friendly" thing that they do together (but just MAYBE on that). *sigh* Just when I was starting to feel less nervous or "shy" about talking to her, too. (edited by Seph2k4 on 09-02-05 04:34 PM) (edited by Seph2k4 on 09-02-05 04:35 PM) |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2120/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Hmm..holding her waist? It could be her boyfriend but don't hesitate to ask her now. You don't have anything to lose. So you didn't ask her this week about anything? Did you talk to her? You only speak to her a few lines a day? I thought you at least made some good conversation in class. It would have been much easier if it was that case. Now you better ask her!  If she still talked about guys being cute and had a boyfriend..I don't know. She could have had this guy for a long time. Either that or good friends. Don't worry about all that stuff just talk to the girl! Do get included into her life do more than you have to know. If you really did and still want this girl you have to do that. Admring from a far isn't always all that pleasing, especially if you reall know what you want. |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38 Posts: 173/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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| Looks like one of us had the right advice all along~ | |||
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Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 606/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| I did just speak a few lines to her a day in class. I know it doesn't seem like much (and it isn't much) but that's what autism may and probably will do for you (or at least a certain demagraphic of autistic folks like me): make you an extremely gullible yet extremely shy person all-around and, no matter how hard you try to fight it, you'll find yourself tied in a knot and in a relatively hard situation to crawl out of. Still, it's not to say that I didn't have anything "planned" for her. There WAS a school dance that I was gonna see if she was going to and if so, would DEFINITELY have asked her to be my date... but it got cancelled due to lack of ticket sales (thank God I didn't buy one at the time).  And I was also planning on asking her if we could chat on AIM some time so we could talk in private instead of around other kids that might make a bigger deal out of it than it really is if they overheard it (that might make it quite a bit easier on me and her), and yet I'm STILL planning on it (because even if she IS dating this guy, that doesn't mean we still can't be "just friends"), it's just that it'll have to wait until this Tuesday at the very earliest. I haven't (fully) given up hope, however though. I mean, it's fairly common sense that most (maybe all) girls with boyfriends don't go ranting about how they think that so many other guys are "hot" besides the one they're currently dating. Actors, maybe, but other guys around the school? I think not. At least it's good to know that I'm no longer feeling quite as "nervous" about talking to her as I did before. Before, I felt like I had an obsession over her... now, instead of feeling like I desperately want her to be my girl and for me to be her man, I feel like I just plain like her, and that's the way to go I imagine. I just don't feel quite as "shy" as before with that feeling. At least I was able to say "hi" the second she came to her desk (I would either hesitate or just wait till the very end of class to say "goodbye" before that) and maybe say 1 or 2 lines after that. Now, I'm hoping for more. Even if she does, I *could* just tell this one guy the things she says about other guys besides him... but I'm not that kind of person, doing so would just make me feel guilty and make her hate me if she found out (which she probably would considering that she would be around him at the time). Raining on someone's parade, especially someone who I really admire's parade, is the last thing I would have planned right about now. (edited by Seph2k4 on 09-02-05 05:30 PM) |
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Grey the Stampede Don't mess with powers you don't understand. And yes. That means donuts. Level: 82 Posts: 3128/3770 EXP: 5192909 For next: 16318 Since: 06-17-04 From: Kingston, RI, USA, Earth Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Seph, my ex kept talking about guys she thought were hot in order to tease me. At times she'd also do so to make me jealous. Girls with boyfriends will do it. Also, "hi" at the beginning of class is not friendly, it's seen as kinda creepy in most circles. |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38 Posts: 184/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Originally posted by Guilty Grey X I cannot disagree with that as I have witnessed it myself from responses from others, and my response to others who did that.  |
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 2152/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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Originally posted by Guilty Grey X  I wouldn't generalize with that statement.I have plenty of friends in relationships, and they don't do that. They're happy knowing everyone else doesn't matter in that way.. Neither teases by calling other guys/girls hot. That's not right. I would have gotten very upset if I were in your position. |
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Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 607/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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Looks like that "possibly bad news" turned into good news after all (I even managed to ask one other person besides her).  Today in first period (which today, she wasn't there for some reason) I asked one of her friends (a male) that was in that class, and he said he "doesn't think" she has one [a possible "no'), but then I managed to ask her personally at the end of 4th period today, which at that time, she WAS there (she wasn't there at the beginning of class, I don't know why), and she said she doesn't (a definite "no") and, while I would have "elaborated" in starting a full-fledged conversation with her, today I was only worried about knowing whether she's available or not, which fortunately, she is.  Now it's time for me to take the "next step" if you will. |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2148/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| Yay! So now you can get your moves set and ready to woo her . Start making full conversations with her now. That's a good start instead of just a few lines. Unless she's a quiet, doesn't have much to say, or shy person then it shouldn't be too hard to talk to her if she's outgoing. |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38 Posts: 311/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Good, but listen, don't talk to her like every possible moment. It may well annoy her and she might find you creepy as a result.  |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2150/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| Yeah, at least have one good decently sized conversation with her a day. Set that as a goal then increase it if you see her in the halls. Just don't annoy her with it. As you talk to her than she might come up to you and want to talk with you more so you two can be comfortable with talking. | |||
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38 Posts: 316/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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| Once a day might even be too much, I'd try to keep it to around like every other day but not with a pattern, I mean like unless she starts it first. | |||
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 2240/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| I wouldn't limit how much you talk to her.. that doesn't make sense. Whatever's comfortable. Asking her if she's available is a big step, it's good that you were able to do that. Just talk whenever it seems right, you'll see if she feels anything back towards you pretty quick by how she reacts to you voluntarily talking to her. I don't see how playing hard-to-get or ANYTHING like it will do you good.  |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38 Posts: 319/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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Originally posted by Danielle He just shouldn't be like talking to her every chance. Girls do like some space apparently, they don't want you around all the time. (edited by Thayer on 09-06-05 09:41 PM) |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2165/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don't..coming from a girl. Seph just needs to go with his instincts and talk to her when he sees fit. |
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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - In a quandry; a love-related quandry |
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