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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Why do I 'scare' people? What's so wrong with me...? |
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24  Posts: 74/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| OK, OK... Well, I could start with a big ol' tale describing the past year of my life...I'll save you that for now, if you're interested, just ask. But, basically, I'm been really upset lately. I've been trying to make new friends. But whever I try, I somehow 'scare' people away, or 'freak them out.' I've been losing people I would give SO MUCH for over NOTHING. People bursh me away and ignore me without even explaining WHY. I'm 17 (just about) and live in the countryside of Western New York. I don't mean to blow my own horn, but... Damnit, I try my best to be a nice guy. I think I'd make a kick ass boyfriend if someone gave me the chance...But the only one who ever DID never GAVE me a chance and was faking it the whole time anyway, so nothing really happened. I think I'd make a really awesome friend if people didn't look at me and turn away... I don't lie, (well, sure, I lie, like everyone, but never to my friends...Only to, like, idiots who lie to me. And even then, I haven't lied in months...What's the point in lying at all?) I go out of my to do nice things for people (which somehow bites me in the ass and people say I 'stalk' them when all I do is call them or mail them here and there, trying to build a better friendship.) I'm always there for lend a hand and reach out to people (which I apparently waste on all the wrong folks, as no one will accepy my help) and I trust people very easily...Or at least I used to... You treat me with respect, I'll do it right back. I'll let you lean on me through thick and thin, no matter who you are. The only reason I wouldn't is if you didn't want me to. Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for some support, as I've been torn apart in so many ways lately...I just can't take much of this crap anymore, or I'll explode and tell all those people to just piss off and have nothing to do with them... But I don't want that. I hate holding grudges, I hate not trusting people, and I hate people thinking things of me that aren't true. Of course, I've been putting up with too much of all of that lately. So if any of you are like me and randomly send messages to people on occasion or randomly try to become friends with people because you want friends... Well, here I am. I'm very emotional, sincere, honest, and love to help people and make people happy. Even if I'll only change their lives in some insignificant way, I've changed their life. I just need to start focusing my energies more on people who WANT it, I guess... |
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Jarukoth  IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79  Posts: 309/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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| Geez. You sound a lot like me... Let me put it this way: We both know we'd make kickass boyfriends, but often everyone else doesn't know that. The key is to "advertise" it properly. If people are saying that youre stalking them, I can see only two remedies. 1)Get some better friends. 2)Slow down a bit, and wait until you think they get more comfortable around you. 3)Help out with school functions. The extra exposure to people around school with help your rep. Sure, I know that its tough, no doubt about it. Hopefully I could help you with the eternal social struggle, at least a little. |
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neotransotaku Baby Mario 戻れたら、 誰も気が付く Level: 87 Posts: 338/4016 EXP: 6220548 For next: 172226 Since: 03-15-04 From: Outside of Time/Space Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| you sound a lot like me too... all I can say is be patient and don't rush...rushing ruins everything...it also helps if you are comfortable living a single life the rest of your life as part of your mindset... |
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E-VIL Micro-Goomba Level: 7  Posts: 11/13 EXP: 1145 For next: 303 Since: 03-15-04 From: Montreal, Qc. [Canada] Since last post: 579 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| sounds like me too... back when i was in high-school.. sometimes some people already have too many friends, and they're not really interested in making more. Unless you can prove that you're better than his/her other friends. So see it from other people's point of view.. If you had a bunch of friends, and some strange guy came along trying to be friends with you, what would make you add him to your circle of friends? strangely enough, some people don't react to kindness.. cuz they've just had too much of it. instead, try finding something fun to do that this person would be interested in, give this person regular doses of this "fun", then suddenly stop for a short period of time. The more they want the "fun", the more fun it will be the next time around. It's all about being creative.. You gotta be persistent, but not annoying. Even though your intentions are good, sometimes people don't understand the message correctly, not everyone thinks the same way. another solution would be to try to talk to people you think you would dislike. Many times the person on the outside is very different from the one inside. Or find some activity you can do where you can meet people with atleast one thing in common. Something at school is cetainly the best since you spend almost the entire week there. In college there are many clubs (and they're not all "we love school" types of clubs.. at my college there's an anime club and a few religious clubs and music clubs..) If you're not in college/University yet.. wait till you get there, if you pick a good place, meeting people will be inevitable. High-school just sucks.. the people there are immature (although they still kinda are in college) and have no respect for anyone but themselves. As for the boyfriend part well.. unfortunately, Nice guys finish last, BUT, the best is always saved for last. You'll wait longer, But you'll get the better end of the rope in the long run. |
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 106/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| O_o OK, then... First of all, of course not everyone thinks alike. And I'm discovering what my 'problem' must be... People think I'm fake... People think I need a REASON to be friends with them... Sofie assumed that...Ya know, Sofie, here at the boards? Lilina said I 'scared' her as well, because I randomly PMed her and asked if she wanted to talk, because I've been down in the dumps. She seemed like a nice person, so... Um...If some random stranger came up and said, "Dude, can I be friends with you?" I'm sure I would respond with something similar to, "Mmm...OK. But be warned, we're all freaks. And once you enter, there may be no turning back, BWAHAHA..." Then I would get to know the person and see if they really are a nice person. If I liked them, I'd obviously want to see them more. If I didn't like them that much, I'd still talk to them and such, and I would try to introduce them to people I think would like them more. Why are you guys treating making friends like a SCIENCE? I shouldn't have to 'slow down' or 'speed up' to make people happy. As far as being single...I refuse to even think of that thought right now...I'm not even out of high school, I'll be a senior next year. I need to find a girl like me...A 'Starfire,' as me and my friends put it...Only without the superpowers...Though that'd be awesome...And, well, maybe without the odd proper way of talking...But the red hair would be AWESOME... Oh, well... Thanks for the advice, I guess, but...I think just about every teenage girl I would ever hope to be friends with hates my guts after the rumors spread by me and me trying to talk with them...Which means I've just about given up on my high school, I'll go to the prom with no date, if I go at all, and have a fresh start in college. Why should I change the way I act just to make other people happy? Why should I 'not rush' things to make them happy? Why should I 'give them fun and take it away' to make them happy? I mean, if I actually WANT to, that's great, but... I won't change myself for others...But I want to know what's wrong with me so that when I change myself for ME I'll know what to work on. |
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neotransotaku Baby Mario 戻れたら、 誰も気が付く Level: 87 Posts: 352/4016 EXP: 6220548 For next: 172226 Since: 03-15-04 From: Outside of Time/Space Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Originally posted by Destiny Smasherinteresting response...hmm, because that is our way of explain why things happen to other people and why they don't happen to us... Originally posted by Destiny Smasher Well, the individual you are interested may not have a need to be with someone at that moment. Originally posted by Destiny Smasherwhat is wrong with being single and a senior? i didn't have a girlfriend and I found a date for the prom. and it was a good time, even though I wasn't her boyfriend, it was still fun. Originally posted by Destiny SmasherNo one said you had to act differently to make other people happy--it probably because those people don't appreciate you for you yet. Either that or they still have a fantasy of what a "good guy" is  Originally posted by Destiny SmasherDo they want YOU to be the one that makes them happy? Sometimes to become the "YOU," you have to be patient. Well, I think that what I am banking on for me and my best friend. I think we both would be perfect for each other and I believe she knows that. But given the circumstances, she hasn't come my way--or she has but I said something and that discouraged her temporarily  Originally posted by Destiny SmasherIt is good that you change for you and you only. As for what is wrong with you...you probabliy just need a fresh start--meaning, you need a new set of people to be around. I noticed as time progressed through HS, things got old and I had a good idea of who everyone was and them with me. Once I entered college, it was a whole new ballgame. I met new people, made friends I didn't believe I could make, and met some girls that changed the way I interpreted the world around me. So yeah...love is a really tough game to play. Some are better than others. That is the way it is in any game... |
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 110/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| Umm... Thanks for your input, but...you, too, seem to think this is all about dating. It's not, don't you see? Yes, I've had a LOT of crappy relationship issues (all of which went NOWHERE but brought me pain after all I gave). I never said I needed a girlfriend RIGHT NOW. I just said thjat I REALLY want to find one that I can take care of when I'm older... This isn't all about dating, though. What's it matter WHO makes you happy? Geez, that makes NO SENSE. Who CARES who it is that makes you happy? In the end, you may not remember the WHO, you'll remember the WHAT and the WHY. You'll remember what that person did for you, but you may forget who they were. If you were talking on a girlfriend level, then you didn't get what I meant. 'Well, the individual you are interested may not have a need to be with someone at that moment.' See? That's exactly what I mean...WHY do you NEED someone to be your friend? I don't NEED to be ANYONE'S friend. I CHOOSE to. Because...I can. People can choose NOT to be my friends...That's fine. But REJECTING me is different. You don't HATE someone for no reason, just as you don't LOVE someone for no reason...I'm trying to find out why people I hardly know tell me they hate me...Why one of my best friends treats me like shit for MONTHS, and after I invite her back into my life, I get angry because her ass of a boyfriend accuses me of trying to break them up (I would NEVER do that!) and provokes me to exploded at him, aaaaand...(where was I?) And she yells at me, calls me scum of the earth, and refuses to hear my OWN apology. Din, I swear, I don't understand that girl AT ALL. She makes NO SENSE. But I still love her as a friend...and I guess part of likes her beyond that...But she seems to want to kill BOTH parts... If she hates me as much as she proclaims, if I'm as 'disgusting' as she says...Why does she not 'tell me off?' Why doesn't she say, 'I want you out of my life?' She expects me to contact her to apologize, but refuses to listen to me... Thanks to her I'm becoming an emotional mess. |
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alte Hexe Star Mario I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me "But Joe you're ten years dead!" "I never died" said he "I never died!" said he Level: 99  Posts: 442/5458 EXP: 9854489 For next: 145511 Since: 03-15-04 From: ... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Here is a piece of advice, "Everyone hates everyone, but some hate each other less". I get dumped on more than anyone at the school, with good reason. I used to be very nice, always helping, never saying bad things. But then, I just snapped after 16 years of constant harassment and mental assaults. Now, I am a calous jerk. Someone makes fun of me, I'll laugh at a recent traumatic event in their life to get them to fuck off. Just don't be a dick like I am. |
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Kefka Indefinitely Unbanned Level: 81 Posts: 494/3392 EXP: 4826208 For next: 166641 Since: 03-15-04 From: Pomona, CALIFORNIA BABY! Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| Hmmm, I've had problems much worse than this recently, but I am not gonna make a topic on em... Anyway, what you could do is: 1) Even though it's easier said than done, DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS OF YOU. BE YOU. DON'T FAKE YOURSELF SO OTHERS WON'T THINK YOU'RE A FAKE. 2) You must have a pretty shitty high school... is it a big high school? Are you in extra curriculars? ECs help ya find people who could appreciate you for who you are. And, if there is not one soul in that school who appreciates you for who you are... then you probably haven't met everyone in that school yet  3) You'll have a fresh start in college, yes. And also, college is where the smarter people go, mostly. Therefore, perhaps they could have a better understanding of the fact that you're not fake... make friends in college, I guess. *shrugs* Well, there's other stuff, but important thing is you be you, and you shouldn't care what the hell jackasses think about you. Or anyone thinks of you, really. |
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 111/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| I WISH my HS was big... Because then I'd have more people to meet...I already KNOW my whole HS, we only have a few hundred people in the school, from Pre K- 12th grade... Thus rumors spread FAST. WHyw ould I act fake? That's the problem! I act the way I would act! I act like ME, and THAT'S why people think it's FAKE! I care about what other people think when they think things that aren't TRUE. I won't stand for people thinking things about me that aren't true. It drives me mad, because it means people are judging someone they don't really know, and it pisses me off. Sure, I have my first impressions of other people, but I never accuse them of anything or judge them until I know them at least a LITTLE better... Kefka, maybe you HAVE had worse problems lately, but you don't know the gritty details of this mess. Probably not too bad, I suppose. I guess my childhood wasn't SO bad...Though I almost ate cocaine, thinking it was sugar...aand I was sexually abused...  But when I got a little older, I realized all those things my 'father' (I don't live with him anymore, and he wasn't my real father, anyway) had done with wrong. Ergo, I realized I mustn't ever do things like that, because they were stupid. Now I'm having trouble with people because I'm trying to be nice and they think I 'have something against them' (when I don't) or I'm trying to 'split them up' with their date, (which is absurd) or that I must 'have a reason' or a motif for being nice to them. It's just really frustrating. |
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Dracoon Zelda The temp ban/forum ban bypasser! Level: 84  Posts: 291/3727 EXP: 5514391 For next: 147561 Since: 03-25-04 From: At home Since last post: 5 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| Are they high or something. Err well I guess I that can help you is remain neutral in almost every situation unless you have something important to say. People are probably afriad of you since you act nice. (Wierd world today) People don't respond to kindness that often. Wait to you look normal or what I mean if you look like a really skinny white pale dude then people will be freaked out naturally. Sicne I doubt that you need to let people go a little easier. Like for instance if some one is nice to you retern the kindness that will start things off. When someone asks oyu about a romour that is false then say that. Don't send them messages or shit jsut say high when you see someone that moderatly likes you and soon the hi's will become what you doing after school. Or find common interests with someone. I guess since i am still a kid I look at things differently. While some say there is a black kid i say there is a kid. |
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Sofie Level: 52 Posts: 219/1210 EXP: 1028812 For next: 55028 Since: 03-15-04 Since last post: 187 days Last activity: 279 days |
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Originally posted by Destiny Smasher Exactly. Not everyone thinks alike, so why are you freaking out over something as me being suspecious because you sent my a hyperactive pm on my birthday, which likely already was april 1st for you? This is still internet, and I'm careful by nature. |
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Uncle Elmo Hammer Brother Partly Sweet, Helpful, good at advice and a half decent writer. Also modest. Level: 49 Posts: 169/1062 EXP: 845899 For next: 37984 Since: 03-15-04 From: Prestatyn, Uk Since last post: 23 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Firstly Calm down. No seriously, I mean it, calm down, breathe deeply, hit a wall but you need to take some time out and remain calm. You seem to be getting very paranoid and upset, and this MAY be due tp your past, it's true but you can't change that, you CAN change your present, and shape your future, so concentrate on that. There are a LOT of people in your situation, including me. I think we all feel lonely at times, and also, I was at one time REALLY concerned with how people viewed me, I rated my life on how popular I was, both online and off. Part of me even enjoyed being a Mod because it gave me extra popularity. What I didn't realise that it was because of my nature and NOT my status. There are a few facts you need to take into account... 1. We live in unsafe and paranoid times. People are being blown to buggery for mistakes their governent are making, other people are being attacked, mugged, shot, raped, murdered and mutilated in the street for daring to buy some groceries or something. We live in a world where the very fact we're alive seems like a miracle and the only people we can TRULY trust is ourselves. 2. We live in a world where emotions are frowned upon. Displays of affection are banned from school, sex is taboo and we're scared of speaking our mind lest we get sued for it 3. We live in a world where we treat each other like crap, and we hide things from each other. We keep secrets and lies. These girls that don;t take any notice of you, these friends that seem to vanish into thin air? they're looking out for themselves. There's nothing wrong with that, after all if you don't have the capability to love yourself then how can you love another? The world doesn;t revolve around yu. They have their own hopes, dreams, and fears and I'd wager none of them involve you. At all. They're too worried about their OWN lives than yours. As for how to approach them, well stop looking at it as if it's a competiton or an attck on them, it's not. If they seem not interested, just move on, chalk it up to experience, mentally say "It's THEIR loss".. Chances are you'll eventually find someone who's interested in having you as a friend. Just Do what I said at the very beginning of this thread. Calm Down. |
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tinzeee Permaban Repeated warnings and bannings about stupidity Level: 38  Posts: 80/618 EXP: 369695 For next: 752 Since: 04-02-04 From: Australia - Sydney Since last post: 553 days Last activity: 339 days |
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| If people arn't going to like you for who you are you don't need them. Maybe your aproaching people wrong, maybe let them come to you, think about yourself and stick with your family, friends will come, everyone has them. High-school is probably the worst stage in your life to make friends, i mean in the first years of high-school you have one chance really to meet new people and get to know each other (you said you were 17, so i am not wasting my time here) after that its really hard to gain friends, losing them is easy gaining them, another story. Don't go out of your way to make friends, like i said before let them come to you. Thats how i would go anyway. |
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paradox Spike Level: 41  Posts: 375/703 EXP: 455239 For next: 24906 Since: 03-16-04 From: usa Since last post: 40 days Last activity: 25 days |
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| i wouldent worry about this...everyone is hated by someone and you can never do anything to prevent it...i say if they dont like you, dont like them back....easy as that | |||
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 134/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| I think I'm beginning to understand why the classic teenage line seems to be 'No one understands me....' As much as I hate to admit it, that's what it is. People don't understand me, they judge me before they know who I really am, or they won't ACCEPT who I really am. Elmo, I appreciate your advice, but you don't know the details of my life. Making friends has not been a battle. KEEPING friends has been a battle. I try not to 'attack' people. Don't you understand WHY I'm 'fighting?' BECAUSE I'm trying to help these people look out for themselves, because they aren't doing a very good job alone. I don't believe that that merits them hating me. I know people are hated... That's my problem...I have trouble hating people. I know it sounds ridiculous, but... I don't hate people. I USED to, but then I started listening to MYSELF. And myself told me that there's no point to hating people. At least not any I KNOW, because none of them have done anything worth my hatred, even the ones that have made me an emotional wreck. Only recently do I have reason to believe I may actually hate one of the people whose friendship I valued very much...I still don't have an explanation as to WHY she was such a jerk, and I don't expect one anymore... But now I'm holding a grudge against her, and I HATE IT. I don't WANT to hold a grduge against her, or her fiance... I can't 'not like' people by choice. That message I sent to you, Sofie, was NOT anm April Fool's joke of any sort. I was just very upset at the time. It had been a LONG week... Things are much better, now... I may actually get things fully straigtened out with one of those friends in a few days- I can only hope. I got so hyperactive because I come here to GET AWAY from all that rejection I face in my REAL social life. And then I have THIS to deal with... http://board.acmlm.org/thread.php?id=992 That doesn't help very much. Elmo, you said that people need to look out for themselves. That's great. I AM looking out for myself. Myself says that trying to be nice and make friends with people is what I need. So that's what I do. I guess, in a strange sort of way, that could be perceived as selfish. But I try to be friends with people even when they're being mean. I won't just let myself get walloped, but I'll apologize and try to make up. When you take all the situations in my current social life, throw in the fact that it was just before Spring vacation, so I had a LOT of school stress, AND the fact that I've been having problems with people ONLINE, as well, perhaps you can understand why I was so miffed. Anyway, I'm sorry for all of that junk...I don't need to be told why the world is a messed up place, though, Elmo. I already KNEW your little list of things there.Once Yoshi ARR and her posse get off my back, I'll be feeling MUCH less tense...while I'm here, at least. |
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Iggy Koopa Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 70/214 EXP: 76441 For next: 1684 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 66 days Last activity: 12 days |
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| I would like to correct you on something. You did not scare me. I suppose I worded my PM incorrectly. You merely startled me, but did not scare me. |
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Havoks Red Koopa Level: 19  Posts: 30/121 EXP: 32533 For next: 3244 Since: 03-15-04 From: Toronto Canada Since last post: 27 days Last activity: 26 days |
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| "But I try to be friends with people even when they're being mean." lol please read over that sentence and tell me you're not trying too hard |
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Destiny Smasher Red Cheep-cheep Level: 24 Posts: 136/216 EXP: 77554 For next: 571 Since: 03-15-04 From: NOT HERE, thank the Star Spirits. Since last post: 368 days Last activity: 43 days |
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| With each post added on, I feel even MORE apart from the rest of the world...Though this may not be such a bad thing... Havoks, you don't understand. I'm not trying too hard...Now that I think of it, I worded that wrong, because I'm not TRYING at all. It's just who I am...So I CAN read that and tell you I'm not trying too hard. I'm a friend to people even when they're mean to me...What's so wrong with that?! Why do people look down on that?! I mean, sure, if they strike me as a jerk from the get go (Yoshi ARR, ex.) then I won't treat them with respect right away. But even now, I'd much rather be ARR's friend than her enemy. Even though she's been harrassing me for days, I apologize to her and hope she will make up and realize that I don't want an enemy. Her and her friends tried to ban me for hell knows what good reason- do you know what that felt like? That felt HORRIBLE, to even THINK that people thought I should be banned for doing exactly what the person I was debating with said she had the right to- her opinion. All I did was asked her to explain her opinion, I never she had to...*sigh* But that's another thread... Ya know what the problem with people is these days? Or at least ONE of them?People seem to want enemies more than friends. Why? That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen, and yet I see it every day! People clearly show they would rather be my foe than my friend...And I just can't comrehend it. All I can do is say, {Yep, that's the Human race for ya,} and go on with my day. But...'If they don't like you, don't like them back, easy as that,' is something I just can't relate with... Someone can clearly show me they hate my guts, for whatever reason, and I will go on loving them. I didn't used to use the word 'love' so openly, but now I do, because it feels right. And I don't necessarily mean the romantic kind of love, either. I am completely confused as to whether I have ever TRULY felt that or not...But I think I understand it all the same. I mean the kind of love you have for a family member, for a best friend. You could take that girl who holds a grudge against me, and visa versa, and if she asked for forgivness, I'd give it to her in an instant- I already have. I forgive many people for what they do not very long after they do it, because I remember how much I care about them.  Once again, I don't know if anyone here understands that, or if anyone here actually BELIEVES me...*shrug* Because I think that's one of my problems- people think I'm fake. Do you know what that's like? To be true to yourself, to TRULY CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, to want friends because having friends is one of the best feelings ever, and have these people around you think it's a mask you wear?! '17 years am I, as of today, and believe I have discovered who I am two years ago, and gradually sculpted my outside to match my inside over those two years. Now I just need to find someone like me...Somewhere...*sigh* Don't get me wrong, I'm content with the people in my life- I just realize now, more than ever, what kind of person my 'soul mate' is... Anyway, forgive my ranting... Lilina, thank you. You have no idea how a simple message such as that helps. And yet, my gut tells me that you're too busy, and that you don't fully understand all of my babbling, and in a way you may not really care- you probably think I'm overreacting...But it doesn't matter. Thanks. Every little bit helps.My doors are always open to anyone, whoever you are, just bear that mind. |
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Jarukoth IRRATIONAL EXUBERENCE!!1! Level: 79 Posts: 413/3194 EXP: 4402011 For next: 177456 Since: 03-17-04 From: New Jersey, U.S.A. Shoes: Yes. Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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| Ok, now this thread is starting to piss me off... If there's one thing I keep hearing throughout this whole thread, it's you asking Why. Why? Why? Why? Why? Do you want to know why? Well, you can't. The sad fact is, we don't always find out Why. There are elderly people on thier deathbeds aking "Why?" and never come close to finding out. Those people are 70-80+ years old. We are 17. Do we know everything about life? NO. And before you say something like "Oh, but I don't know everything about life, silly.", look back at some of your earlier posts, because that's the impression I got from them. Also, you keep talking about how people "Don't Understand", and such. It seems to me like one of these two things are true: 1) People really DO understand. Do you seriously think that you're the only one in the world with problems like this? Do I try to be friends with people, even when they are being complete assholes to myself or others? YES. Do people judge me before they know me? EVERY DAY. Do I want to help people, only to be insulted, and my help refused? YES, YES, and YES!!! People are diverse, as you know. With that diversity are different levels of knowledge and understanding. There will be a set that won't understand you, and and equally large set that will, because odds are, they have experienced the same thing, and understand that specific set of problems. The again, there is the flip side of that. People who are built up another way do not nesscessarily understand people who are different, or are quick to judge them. These people are everywhere, and we, wether you know it or not, are just like that. We don't understand people whop are different, and they don't understand us. The thing you should realize is this: You will encounter people, sooner or later, who will not like you, regardless of how good and pure you or your intentions may be. Remember: There were people out there who wanted even people like Jesus dead... I realize I don't have all the awnsers. There's not enough time or space on this thread for all I have to say. (This post was actually twice as big, but then it got deleted, and I ended up forgetting everything.) Would you care to hear what I hate? I hate hearing people who have problems like mine, and being unable to help them for whatever reason. Maybe THEY don't understand ME. Sound familiar, DS? I could quite possibly go on forever typing this. Heck, I'm not even sure if you'll understand what I'm trying to say, or even listen to it. I don't know, after I hit that button labeled "Sumbit Reply", who will and will not read what I have to say. I don't know if I will help whom I honestly and truly want to help. Which brings me back to "Why?" Why do I even bother typing this? Why bother posting a long, drawn out message like this on some random message board that does not even exist in physical reality if there is a slim to nil chance that it will serve it's purpose? Why should I bother doing anything if people will hate me for it? What is meaning? What is life truly about? Why do I act this way in a world full of endless paradoxes, and people who won't understand me regardless of what I do? Why? To quote The Matrix: "Why? Because I choose to." If you got anything positive out of that, then I will be happy. |
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