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Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Dead friend; how to react... | | | |
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Kefka Indefinitely Unbanned Level: 81 Posts: 2613/3392 EXP: 4826208 For next: 166641 Since: 03-15-04 From: Pomona, CALIFORNIA BABY! Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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I came to school today, and found out that this person in my class died over the weekend. I was merely an acquaintance with this person, but I was still feeling pretty bad. I was shocked, actually. They were hit by a car while walking in a shopping area, but I'm not going to put any blame on anyone. My problem is that I didn't know, and still don't really know, how to react. I almost wanted to cry before, but then I thought "If I was dead, I wouldn't want any body to be crying; I'd want them to keep having a fun, productive life of their own." However, I don't know if I entirely agree with myself on that. I attended the little memorials they had today, but I wasn't being very outwardly emotional like a lot of other people. So I ask, is there a right way to go about this? How would you react; more preferably, if anything quite like this has happened to you, how have you reacted, and how did you feel later? I'm still in a little bit of a confused state, and I am not sure what to pull out of all of this. |
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Kles Red Paratroopa Level: 21 Posts: 76/171 EXP: 44517 For next: 5426 Since: 10-02-04 Since last post: 62 days Last activity: 45 days |
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Just keep on trying to live life. If you're religious, say a little prayer for the person but if not, you've done all you can really do for them. | |||
Kitten Yiffer Purple wand Furry moderator Vivent l'exp����¯�¿�½������©rience de signalisation d'amusement, ou bien ! Level: 135 Posts: 8778/11162 EXP: 28824106 For next: 510899 Since: 03-15-04 From: Sweden Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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My great aunt (if you can really say that, it was my mothers fathers brother who died) for about a year ago. I felt sad when we heard that he died, but well. I thought I heard wrong when my mom said he died, althought it didn't come as surprise. He was quite sick for quite some months (althought before getting sick he wsa quite strong for his age ). After a few days life did go on until the funeral... The worst thing was the funeral. I really cried alot, but it would have felt worser if I wasn't there at all. I stopped crying after they did sink the chest into the ground and we did enter some house to eat some buff |
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Ran-chan Moldorm eek, when are they going to stop growing... Level: 143 Posts: 8488/12781 EXP: 35293588 For next: 538220 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nerima District, Tokyo - Japan Since last post: 12 hours Last activity: 12 hours |
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I kinda know how this feels. Not that it has happened to me but still. Even if you don |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 1117/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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I had this happen to me before. A friend of mine died over the weekend from a severe asthma attack just two months after 9-11. Two friends told me at school what had happened and I cried. I cried when they annouced it over first block about my friend Stephanie. I cried when any one asked if I was ok while trying to reply and I cried when my mom asked me after school. So yeah I stayed in school that whole day even though I was really down. I cried at my grandma and my aunt's funeral that happened before my friend's though. But I didn't cry at my friend's funeral though. Nor did I cry at my uncle's funeral last year but I think I did cry a little bit when I found out how he died though on New Year's day. So, basically it just depends on the person on how they act towards someone's death. Like if I hear that someone died that I don't even know I feel a little sad about it. |
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neotransotaku Baby Mario 戻れたら、 誰も気が付く Level: 87 Posts: 2758/4016 EXP: 6220548 For next: 172226 Since: 03-15-04 From: Outside of Time/Space Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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Originally posted by KefkaThat's your choice but people have different ways of grieving. People will move on and they will still live productive lives. I can see where you are coming from in the fact that the lives that are effected by the passing of the individual is shattered such that they do not want to live anymore. Grieving is grieving and we all have our own ways to grieve. So, if your way is to consider what the other people would want you to grieve, then so be it. |
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Scatterheart Panser Level: 29 Posts: 95/342 EXP: 143409 For next: 4476 Since: 06-06-04 From: Sydney, Australia Since last post: 17 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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This is going to sound pretty selfish, but I have alot of experience in this subject... Not exactly with friends, but family. I grew up without a mother. She left my dad when I was 1 year old. I don't miss her, because I've never known her or had to rely on her. on July 31st, my dad will have been dead for 3 years. He died from cancer, spreading everywhere, paralyzing him in his last weeks. When we got a phone-call from a nurse telling us that he hasn't long to live at all, and was in a coma, we drove to the hosptal, only to be 5 minutes late. I was directed to the quiet room, where I cried. I felt like I had no-one to rely on... So many responsabilities. I also cried at the funeral, and when we spreaded his ashes. Life had been harder since then, but I've still got some people. I live with my aunty at the moment, who's serverely physically dissabled, and my cousin, who's mentally and physically dissabled. I have lived with my brother a couple of times, but he tends to sell everything I own for his "pot money" The way I think of it... Is that about half of ourselves feels sorry for the person who died, while our other side is scared of responsability... What changes it'll make in our lives. In a way, it's kind of feeling sorry for ourselves. Just think "What if that was me? How would people react?" And you tend to think of people crying over you, which in turn makes you cry just thinking about it.. In a little while, you'll learn to addapt, and although if you think about them, and the pain they went through, it sure as hell makes you sad to the point of crying, but seeing the chair that the person sat in, won't really make you sad, because you addapt... You get used to not expecting them to jump out and say "hello." It may seem harsh, but it's only my opinion. I give you my condoninces, and hope you can get on happily with your life. |
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