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06-21-24 10:21 PM |
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| Main - Posts by Riku |
| Riku |
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 Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 23/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I don't quite see the reasoning in this. I don't even remember Waluigi being in SM64.
I think someone is a bit confused on why people post  |
| Riku |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 24/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
This is poosibly the largest running joke I have had. What you are about to read is an epic story featuring many band members in my school. Because I am a fucking nerd. This is about 60 of 170 pages in book one. And there is 169 pages in book two. This is all written in notebook paper when I don't feel like working. Expect more when it will let me get more text on the page. -------------------------- Jewels of Malice This is based on .02% percent true story. By Trent Whitehead. Staring Trent, Jay, Michael, Sallie, Anabel, Troy, Jesus (Matt G.), Chuck Norris, and Kelly, and some fictional robot named Doppelganger. (Warning: Offensive in religious manners) Cast Heroes: Jesus, Trent, Michael, Jay (eventually: Troy, Mary, Doppelganger, Sallie, Anabel, and Chuck Norris.) Ninjas: Allison, Megan, Kirstein, Caitlyn Evil: Kelly Wanna-be Rockstars: Josh, Jason, Matt Charlie’s Angels: Anabel, Sallie, Holbrook Power Rangers: Lacy, Leslie, John, Tommy, Charlie Idiots: Patrick, Kyle, Julie, Robert, Tiffany, Nick Robots: N-Team, Doppelganger Semi-helpful: Jeremy, Mary, Joseph And several roles I forgot about. Chapter List Chapter 1: Super Powers and Jesus Chapter 2: Kelly Chapter 3: Michael and Metal Mark Chapter 4: Jay Chapter 5: Idiots Chapter 6: The Tracker Chapter 7: New Threats Chapter 8: The Negative Teams Chapter 9: Kelly gets the jewel and Revenge Chapter 10: Native Problems and the Big Brawl Chapter 11: Jeremy’s life was in for the worst and Kelly’s fall from Humanity Chapter 12: Duel on a vanishing continent Chapter 13: Duel on a vanishing continent (Part 2) Chapter 14: More than just Kelly to worry about Chapter 15: The tomb and the trials Chapter 16: Battle of the Heroes Chapter 17: Kelly gets Four Jewels Chapter 18: Jesus’ Parents Chapter 19: Sacrifice Hurts Chapter 20: Europe Chapter 21: Charlie’s Angels Chapter 22: The Conflict of Fate shines on Kelly Chapter 23: What the f**k happened? Chapter 24: Raid on Kelly Station Chapter 25: The Final Battle Chapter 26: The Endings Chapter 27: The Real Ending Chapter 1: Super Powers and Jesus A feeling of numbness hit me as I came back from a deep sleep I couldn’t remember. Everything on my mind was so… missing. Memory of what happened was missing. Something about this told me to blame Kelly, but why? I began to wake up in my room when something randomly bad happened. I wasn’t in my room. So I began questioning all of the possibly logical possibilities. Was I actually here because I slept walked? Or had short memory? No, it was obviously all the plot of the devious Kelly Davis and his lab rat creation Bradley. I just knew it! So I began to question my location. I figured the huge sign labeled Wal-Mart would help me, but it didn’t. But I recognized the parking lot and I figured out I was in parking lot of Wal-Mart. But I couldn’t enter the doors for some reason… I found a huge blue lock covering the door. When I pulled my hands down in front of me, I was holding two pistols and a sword. I kept calm. Not really, because I remember screaming for some period of time. There were not people around, but why did I have two pistols and a sword? I was frustrated so I screamed and found out I had the powers of Sindel, because a car in the parking lot exploded. I thought for sure my genetics were screwed up so I got mad again and hit the little pole in front of Wal-Mart. I had Captain Falcons ability to break things with his punch. After that I felt confident with myself and got on the roof of Wal-Mart. I jumped off in hopes of having the ability to fly. I didn’t. But I did have Wolverine’s ability of healing. Because my broken bones decided to heal themselves. It was incredibly painful. I was still freaked out so I screamed some more. Then I was okay. But then I began screaming again. But after I was okay, I walked 4.6 miles to my house in hopes of someone being there. I’m not talking because it would be in vain because nobody can hear me, when I got home everything was unlocked. I went in looking for some sort of clue. All of a sudden, Jesus descended from heaven playing “Highway to Hell” on guitar. It took him eight minutes to reach earth from heaven going 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 light-years per millisecond. It took awhile for him to complete the song, but he did it in style. When he finished, he landed destroying my neighbor’s houses. He approached me. Jesus: “Okay, yeah, I tried to leave you a better sign, but apparently when you see video game related super powers, you don’t thank Jesus.” Trent: “Holy crap, it’s Jesus! Why are you here?” Jesus: “God, are you always this incompetent?” Trent: “No, not really, but I’m kind of freaked out over this pair of pistols and sword. Jesus: “Yeah, yeah, but I’m here to yell you that you’re going to save the world or something. You know, I’m feeling kind of powerful right now, so I won’t abandon you like God did. In fact, I’m going to help you against the threat of whoever is behind this catastrophe. Since my Father has been less good as of late…” Trent: “Sweet. But are we going to do this alone?” Jesus:” Oh please. If I could’ve done this alone I wouldn’t have spared so many puny lives. Even the un-awesome ones have a role to play in this story.” Trent: “For the Son of God, you’re kind of mean. But whatever. What’s with superpowers? I mean my superpowers?” Jesus: “Did you plan to do this with those mediocre muscles? But, I’ll explain later. Your friend has triggered the awesome scale. All those I spared will help in our fight.” Trent: “So… who did you spare?” Jesus: “A team of awesome superheroes.” Chapter 2: Kelly The dark lair of Kelly was very disturbing. It had bodies of those that first made him lose his mind above his desk. Kelly was happy with the fact that Jason was hung directly above his desk. Upon his desk was a well organized list of souls he collected on his vengeful array of power. Kelly at this point was considered a blood thirsty madman. A large number of people were hidden in Kelly’s freezer. Kelly had a habit of spoofing up executively quick. When you finally notice, you’ve already lost your soul. Kelly gained control over much of the earth and convinced the aliens that humans were a force to be reckoned with as he flew across space collecting more souls. Kelly the powers of all the souls he collected. The only reason Bradley was still alive was so that he could power Kelly’s equipment. Bradley didn’t need a soul anyway. Kelly’s morality was corrupt. His decisions were all based on efficiency, power, and personal benefit. Kelly was never happy. He wanted more souls. But eventually he got physically hungry, so he went to McDonalds. Kelly: “I WANT A COUPLE OF DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS AND A PACK OF FRIES.” Employee: “Will that be all?” Kelly: “DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?!” Employee: “Sir?” The Restaurant got incredibly quiet and everyone who still had soul’s stops eating. They all look. Employee: “That’ll be $3.18, sir…” Kelly: “I SAID SHUTUP!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!” Kelly jumps over the counter and steals the employees soul. The people look in shock. Most of them leave. Kelly: I feel much better now. I think I’ll those cheeseburgers now.” The employees in the back stopped cooking and started looking at the body without a soul. Kelly’s eyes begin glowing red. Kelly: “GIVE ME MY BURGERS!!!” Employee:: “Okay…” They toss the bag of burgers and pack of fries and run away. Kelly: “I’M NOW THIRSTY!!!” So Kelly rips the counter in half to get to the cups. Kelly: “YES! DR. PEPPER FEEDS MY SOULS PASSION!” His glow wears off. Kelly: “This Dr. Pepper is satisfying… Ahhhhh…” Kelly leaves to go work on something fiendish. Chapter 3: Super Michael and Metal Mark Jesus: “Here we are, first stop. Michael’s house. He’s probably gone power mad with what the awesome scale gave him.” As we approach Michael’s house, he’s playing with his psychic power. He’s ripping his house in half and lifting things with his mind. Michael: “Hey, it’s Trent! I knew you were coming.” Jesus: “Yeah, Michael—“ Michael: “Wait, wait, wait—you want me to join you.” Jesus: “Yeah, and also—“ Michael: “You want me to stop finishing your sentences.” Jesus: “Well yeah, and—“ Michael: “Why am I still talking? Because I feel much more at peace knowing what to expect all time and I’m already prepared for it.” Trent: “So, hey, Michael, why—“ Michael: “Am I basing my house? The power of seeing into the future tells me that the neighbors are blamed in court for it.” Jesus: “I thought I told you to stop finishing sentences that weren’t started by you.” Michael: “Sorry Jesus.” All of a sudden, a metal figure crashes onto the ground on his fist and legs. He got up, with power emitting from his robotic form. It looked much like Mark except for the robotic eye which scarred the crap out of Jesus Mark:: “I am… Metal Mark! I’m here to reduce you to ashes or something. This may not seem logical to you, but I’m still going to crush you.” Michael: “I have the powers of a God—“ Jesus: “The God.” Michael: “I have the powers of the God. Apparently I already cover the basic line of power that should make you want to kill yourself without even battling. What makes you think you have the slightest chance in succeeding?” ???: “I think you’d better consider your odds.” A figure jumps down next to Mark with a huge crystal in his hand. He crushes it as he lands down in the yard. It was without a doubt, Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris: “You’re undoubtedly screwed entirely.” Michael: Pssfft… Big deal. Oh yeah, I’m going to win because I’m Chuck Norris. Whatever.” Trent:”Yeah, Michael, I don’t have the same powers as you, and I don’t really think I could beat Chuck Norris…” Mark jumps forward as I use my Falcon Punch. He flies back into a tree. His eyes glow red and the hole he landed in glows imminently. He flies out of the hole angry phased. Chuck Norris jumps at Michael and dodges at super speed which appears to be teleporting, and hits Chuck Norris from behind. Mark uses his red eye and hit Michael from behind. Chuck Norris regains his fly time and pulls out of Michael’s way, who has been marked and is flying through the air. Chuck Norris punches Michael who is still in the air. Michael uses his psychic powers to fly through the air and regain control of his movements. Mark lasers me and I fall over for a couple seconds. I had pulled out my pistols and quickly brought down Mark. He’s deactivated. Mark explodes. Chuck Norris punches me as Michael begins to lift every part of debris on the ground. Jesus heals me and strikes Chuck Norris with a bolt of lightning. Chuck Norris grabs Jesus by the throat, then Michael saves Jesus by launching the debris from his house right into Chuck Norris. He’s now covered by Michael’s house. Jesus: “I think we’d better leave before any other random people decide to show up.” Michael: “…So why does everyone else have superpowers?” Jesus: “It’s a long story I don’t think I have time to tell you. But, the awesome scale, similar to the theory of the Big Bang, was activated by your friend Kelly. Something in Kelly made him lose his mind—but I don’t know the roots of it. Kelly has been stealing souls right and left—as if he has a plan to use these souls for something. Now 98% of our population is missing. Do you know how many people are on earth? 6 billion people; and 5.9 billion of them are dead.” Trent: “So why superpowers?” Jesus: “All of the awesome people gained all of the random life force of 2% of the population. Everyone knows for every ten souls you have, you gain a super power. You guys were born with more soul than other people. With the extra life force, you have a whole lot of powers. Only Trent… your powers have been altered for some unknown reason. And it’s a pain that not everyone, such as Mark, uses their powers for good.” Michael: “Who else does?” Jesus: “The awesome Jay.” Chapter 4: Jay We fly over on a cloud playing “Time” (written by Michael) until we came upon Jay doing something incredibly insignificant with his powers. He’s playing Monopoly. Jay: “Hey guys. Want to play Monopoly?” Trent: “Jay, you know you’re all powerful with superpowers, right?” Jay: “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He rolls the dice and gets an 11. He lands on the “Go to Jail” space. Jay: “Aww, dang it!” Trent: “Then why are you playing Monopoly?” Jay: Shh…BE QUIET! AHH! I’m playing Monopoly!” Jesus: “Jay, c’mon, what is your power?” Jay: “Control all the elements.” Jesus: “You could really do some good with those powers.” Jay: “Hey… Y’know what? You’re right!” Jay uses the powers of earth to destroy the Jail space, and the powers of lightning to destroy the “Go to Jail” space. He continues playing Monopoly. Trent: “That’s not exactly what he had in mind…” Michael: “Jay, c’mon, stop playing Monopoly and come be awesome super heroes with use.” Jay: “Hold on. I’m almost done. Jay owned all of the property and all of the railroads. Jesus: “You can’t win by yourself.” Jay: “Psfft. I’ve already won. I just wanted to play the game so long that the edges are worn, and the pictures on the space come off and the board wants to explode.” Jesus blows up the board with his lightning out of frustration and lack of will to argue any more. Jay: “Hey you douche! I was playing Monopoly! Ahhh! Y’know what Jesus?! You’re biggest f**king douche ever!!” Jesus: “That was a little uncalled for.” Jay: “So was your face, douche!” Jesus: “You’re talking to Jesus here!” Jay: “And you know what would go great with that douche-y face? Some douche defining douche dirt that makes you look douchish, you douche!’ Jay launches the ground particles at Jesus. Jesus is covered in dirt. Jesus: “Are you done now?” Jay: Yeah, pretty much.” After that, something hit me. There was a large keyhole in front of Wal-Mart. I remember it so well; the color rings in my head! A darkish blue. That raised a few questions. Trent: “Wait a minute, Jesus, why was there a huge lock in front of Wal-Mart? It was blue!” Jesus: “…That’s because it’s one of eight strongholds taken over by various people. But right now it has nothing to do with the problem at hand. You see, I didn’t stay with you because I want to organize an awesome super hero team. I needed something collected. Seven objects that multiply your power by two for every one you collect. Michael: “Yeah, you need to tell us what objects.” Jesus: “Seven halos—once used to power machinery with the light energy they laid off. At one time on the seven continents, they were all separated. Men were jealous, Satan was intrigued. So they both made their own. Men made the “7 Jewels of Malice” and Satan made “7 Halo’s of Darkness”. Jay: “So… If they’re that powerful, what happens when all 21 are together? Jesus: “Let’s give an example for you… Let’s say that Cyclops from the X-men got seven of the 21, he could laser anything in half with his powers. If he got 21, he could shoot a laser to destroy the entire universe. The 21 items, however, were fused with the jewels during the war of –“ Michael: “So wait… they magnify any ability. With all seven my abilities would be strong enough to consider me a—“ Jesus: “God.” Michael: “Okay, yeah, only I interrupt.” Jesus: “Anyways… after they were created, a three front war broke out between man, hell, and heaven. God had all seven halos, and Satan had all dark halos. But the ones made from man were much stronger. The Jewels of Malice. So man defeated Satan and God and did the exact opposite as God planned for them. The halos were infused with man’s jewels, except man didn’t expect them to teleport away after the polymerization. They were never found. However, with recent events, we have the ability to track them. There is one on every continent, as there was before. However, most of the people realize this and have formed teams. We’ve just begun to be awesome super heroes.” Chapter 5: Idiots Meanwhile on Antarctica, the camera zooms out on penguins dead with herpes. The camera rises on Patrick smiling. Patrick: “HERPES.” Kyle: “God, will we ever get off this frozen craphole?!” Robert: “WORLD OF WARCRAFT” Kyle: “Listen; there is a Jewel of Malice on this island somewhere.” Julie: “Don’t try talking to them. We’re the only ones with common sense.” Robert: “WORLD OF WARCRAFT” Patrick: “HERPES.” Kyle: “God, shut up. Keep searching!” Patrick jumps over and kills a penguin with his herpes. Julie: “…We’ll search ourselves.” Nick: “SHUT THE f**k UP!” Julie: “…” Nick: “I’LL CUT YOU!” Julie: “Kyle, Nick’s hungry. So am I. Get out the food. Kyle: “BURP.” Julie: “You ate the food!?! Kyle, we’re going to die!” Patrick: “HERPES.” They all die. Of either starvation or herpes. Whichever. They both seem very fitting. God, I am so cruel. Chapter 6: The Tracker Jesus: “Those eight strong-holds contain pieces of the largest key for one super stronghold. And obviously Kelly is in the largest one. These strongholds are all of a certain difficulty by the color of the locks. The keys are marked. Purple, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red, Rainbow, and light. Trent: “You said the fortresses wouldn’t help.” Jesus: “It won’t. But if Kelly ever manages to get them all, the towers are the secret to weakening the jewels overall effect. However, I doubt it’ll ever be necessary. “ Michael: “Yeah, well, are we going to have awesome fights?” Jesus: “That goes without saying.” Michael: “Sweet.” Jay: “Y’know, we should go to a technological genius to build a tracking device. God knows a tracking device would be the smartest idea.” Jesus: “That would be… me.” Trent: “Great. Where’s the device?” Jesus: “I still need to build it.” Jay: “What? Then where are the parts?” Jesus: “We could use the remaining parts of Mark.” Michael: “Then let’s go back there.” They travel back to the remains of Michael’s house. The house is still covering Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is no doubt alive because he doesn’t have to breathe. Mark is still lying in the same position destroyed. Jesus: “Ah, well this may take a few minutes…” Jesus begins working on harvesting the parts from Mark as Chuck Norris hand bursts from the debris. His eyes glare evil as if they were going to say “I HOPE YOU f**kING DIE OF AIDS.” Chuck Norris rips the rest of the debris from on top of him. Chuck Norris: “Like I said, you’re undoubtedly “ Jay: “What? Chuck Norris? Have I missed something?” Jesus: “Protect me while I get Mark’s parts removed.” From the debris, he rushed towards Michael so fast that he doesn’t notice until its too late. He’s punched back really quickly. Jay uses the power of earth to trap Chuck Norris in a dome. Chuck Norris rips through the rock dome. I scream catching Chuck Norris off-guard while Michael is coming back from being hit by Chuck Norris. Jay uses ice to freeze Chuck Norris in air while Michael breaks the ice with his super strength. Chuck Norris round house kicks me, shattering my left arm. So I use my healing ability and counter with my Falcon Punch. He goes through the air and grabs a 2-by-4. He jumps at lightning speed almost striking Jay with a blow that stops the weapon from reaching him. Jesus finishes removing the key parts from Mark. Then Chuck Norris kicks Jesus out of the way. I remove my pistols and begin shooting. Chuck Norris rips the bullets in half as he bites them. So I decide to try out my new sword. Lightning emits from the sword as I strike Chuck Norris with it. At the same time Jay creates a metal dome around Chuck Norris. I strike it with my sword and it electrocutes Chuck Norris. He’s not dead, but he’s unconscious. Jesus: “Now I can begin building that tracker.” Chapter 7: New Threats Kelly, however, was already way ahead. In his Australian lab, he used Bradley to power his tracker, when he completed the device; the only thing that could ruin his evil triumph would be that if Bradley could’ve died. But it wouldn’t have mattered. He could’ve used a chipmunk and got the same results. The fact that he used Bradley as a battery pleased him. So, he is now in Australia using Bradley’s life force to fuel his creations and lab equipment. Kelly: “Using the same technology I used to create Metal Mark, I shall create opposite personality versions of the heroes. But they shall be smarter, and more efficient than my previous creation. Those fools will never stop my “Happy try hard for success Trent”! Or my other creations… Now to activate them.” Bradley: “Kelly, I’m dying… let me go…” Kelly: “SHUT UP.” He activates the robots and gives them their speech functions. Kelly: “Report to your master.” They wake up instantly and sound and look just like their counterparts. N-Trent: “Happy motivated Trent!” N-Jay: “Opinionated Non-Logical Political Jay!’ N-Michael: “Selfless Meat-Eating Hate everything Michael!” N-Jesus: “Super Atheist Jesus!!” Kelly: “Great. Go distract those guys while I go to Antarctica.” Kelly, using someone’s ability to fly he stole, flies to Antarctica. He knows he to track very well, actually. In fact, it shouldn’t take any time at all. But in the lab there was an extra pod for a clone. It was not activated yet. It was labeled Doppelganger. Automatically the N-Team senses the role he is to serve later on. They continue about their business. Bradley: “Help meeee… Someone…” N-Jesus: “Okay team. You heard ‘em. Let’s take out these idiots and send them to their graves.” N-Trent: “Yay!! We cannot lose because I’m so positive and motivated!” N-Jay: “Perhaps I should see the weakness of this… mediocre “Jay”. N-Michael: “I’m going to kill them because I’m a f**king lunatic that hates everything!!” The four fly off with their rockets Kelly had built on them. Their color coded jackets are as follows. Trent is Red. Jesus is Black. Jay is Blue. Michael is Green. It’ll take them awhile to reach the destination because the United States is so far away from Australia But meanwhile on Antarctica… Kelly senses the Jewel of Malice nearby… A man begins walking down the ice covered mountain top in search for the “Mother Bear”, a tradition that the tribe executed in their late teen years into adulthood. This was the test. Man: “Whasis? A rock? Perhaps wife would want it.” Kelly lands on the ground causing the ice to melt. The mountaintop has melted off and the man holding the jewel has flown back. Kelly: “GIVE ME THE JEWEL OF MALICE!!!” Man: “Jewell of Malece?! Wassat?!!” Kelly extends his arm forward and begins to absorb the light in the area. It’s very dark now. The sun appears as bright as the moon. The light comes into a large ball of energy. Kelly releases it. Man: “No, wait, stop—“ The mountain top explodes and the man isn’t seen when the explosion stops. Kelly picks up the Jewel of Malice and smiles. He’s now glowing red. The jewel gave him twice the power. Kelly: “YOU COULD’VE MADE THINGS EASIER FOR YOURSELF… IF ONLY YOU’D COOPERATED. THEN AGAIN, I WOULD’VE KILLED YOU ANYWAY.” Kelly felt quite powerful. He knew where the next jewel was and began heading for Asia’s direction. Chapter 8: The Negative Teams Jesus is still tinkering with the final touches on the tracker. Jay: “Michael, I’ve noticed Trent’s powers really suck.” Michael: “Yeah, I kind of feel bad for him so I’ll change his powers.” Jay: “You can do that?!” I’m sitting by myself as usual pondering on thoughts that mean nothing, but help me keep the patient easy going personality I hate. Michael: “I’m going to change your powers to… flying, stop time, and teleportation.” Trent: “My powers do suck right now.” Michael: “Alright then…” Michael uses his psychic power to alter my powers so they aren’t as bad. Trent: “Cool.” With the snap of my fingers time halted, and with teleportation and flying, I was much faster in stop time, and would inflict major damage. And with the snap of my fingers I started time again. However, I could no longer heal. Michael: “That’s painful. I’m never doing that again.” Jay: “Ohh! My turn! I want to levitate crap, make chickens explodes, and cause woman to get boners every time I mention the movie “Rocky V”.” Michael: “No.” Jesus presses on a few attachments and the machine starts glowing. Jesus: “Alright, we’re done here. Let’s see… The first one should be at the White House.” Trent: “Funny. I figured someone would notice it.” After teleporting the group to the White House, there are security guards with no powers. They’re puzzled but they’re not dumb enough to just attack us. Guard: “Who’re you?!” Jesus: “Relax, I’m Jesus.” Guard: “Oh great! We’re all going to f**king die!” The jewel is on the top of the building. It’s on the dome roof thing people believed to be a heating unit. It isn’t. The President obviously disappeared because the guards suck at guarding. So I teleport a couple of feet in front of the jewel. Then I hear I large whirring noise. I look up and see four figures. Jesus: “What is that?” Michael: “Jesus, look out!” A large bolt of lightning strikes the ground in front of Jesus. Jesus flips back and avoids it. It misses. Jesus: “What is this madness?!” N-Jesus: “THIS IS SPARTA!” One of the figures teleport where the jewel is and steals the jewel I was after. I stop time… but so does the figure that stole the jewel. And with the jewel, he stops time twice as fast. So it’s like dodging a bullet. He bashes my face and my arms so fast that I feel all of the pain at the same time. He lowers his head and snaps his fingers. I instantly feel all of the pain and am knocked completely to the ground unconscious. Jay: “What happened? I didn’t see anything!” Then he teleports in slow motion and jump attacks Jay several times. He is blown to the ground. Michael: “What? Wait, I’ve seen this—“ Michael uses the power of psychic to knock the figure out of fast motion. Though it didn’t seem to faze him much. It was me in a red jacket. N-Trent: “This power is amazing! I’ve already wore down their entire team alone!” As that is said, the rest of the Negative Team lands next to N-Trent. N-Jesus: “Amazing. Shall I try?” N-Trent: “Be my guest.” Michael: “Clones of us?! What?!!” N-Michael: “Silence. We’re not clones… We’re enhanced versions of what you should be.” N-Jay: “This is where you lose.” He tosses the jewel to N-Jesus, and the replica of Jesus feels his power double. N-Jesus: “This is amazing! The power!!” He charges up a bolt of lightning that could destroy a skyscraper. He releases it at Jesus and Michael. Michael: “Huh. Well. I didn’t see this coming. Oh well…” The bolt completely burns them and they fall unconscious silently. The only ones capable of communication are the Negative Team. N-Jesus: “This power is way to powerful for our superior.” N-Trent: “You thinking what I’m thinking?” N-Michael: “These are way too great for Kelly.” N-Jay: “They appear to have a more accurate radar.” N-Trent: “Ha! Today is great!” They fly away silently. They head for South America, where the jewel is in a rural location in Chile. And they stole the radar. Chapter 9: Kelly gets the jewel and Revenge Kelly arrives in Asia, and the camera zooms in on him holding the second Jewel of Malice. His powers are now 400%, making him four times as powerful. His array of abilities almost seems unlimited. He’s feeling greatly in charge right now and feels unstoppable. He decides to wait until an emerald is in use. That’s how he tracks. He snickered at the thought of taking it off a dead body. The camera suddenly returns to the White House Presidents office. The guards are splashing water on the unconscious heroes. Trent: “What happened? Uhh… My head…” Guards: “You guys were slaughtered by clones of yourselves!” Jesus: “Ohh… Hold on guys…” Jesus lifts his hands into the air and heals the party of their incredible wounds. Jay: “Oooohh, man, that was harsh…” So everyone remains aching on the floor until Jesus and Jay are the first to stand. Jay: “Wait, I don’t have the radar anymore! Those bots must have taken it!” Jesus: “Yeah, we were beaten by them.” Michael: “Strange how their powers were greater than ours.” Trent: “They weren’t. We were cheated out of our victory.” Jay: “Because of the jewel.” Michael: “It doesn’t matter anyway. They took the radar.” Jesus: “I never plan without a back-up.” He lifts an object in the air that looks exactly like the radar. Trent: “Great! You built another Radar!” Jesus: “Actually, no, this was what I built after. It’s a Radar Radar.” Jay: “A radar to find the Radar?” Jesus: “Exactly.” Michael: “Hey, c’mon, wouldn’t it have been easier to have just built another radar?” Jesus: “Maybe it would have.” Jesus reads the radar. It points to South America. They know that it obviously means a jewel is somewhere there as well. We teleport there. Chapter 10: Native Problems and the Big Brawl We were still a little sore from the mass slaughtering that we took. When we arrived in Chile by teleporting, we still felt like resting. Jesus: “C’mon, guys, it may seem like there’s no way we’re going to fight efficiently, but my healing has placed you guys in great shape.” Michael: “It’s not that I’m tired… I’ve got a sense…” We begin walking through the jungle. It takes us no time at all to know where to go… Then we see something strange. It looked like a… JEWEL OF MALICE! Jay: “Great! A jewel! Y’know, I’m surprised they didn’t find this with the tracker.” Trent: “Maybe they’re too stupid to figure out how to use it.” I ran forward and grab the jewel. While doing so, Jesus senses that something is wrong. Jesus: “Michael, can you feel that?” Michael: “Feel what? I can’t feel anything.” Jesus: “Exactly. I have the power to sense a jewel close to me, and this one is barely 30 meters away. I can’t feel anything.” Michael: “Then I guess that means…” As I grab the emerald, I am ensnared in a trap made of materials welded together to make a net. Trent: “Ahh! That’s just great! Oh yeah, how could I have not seen this coming? NOTHING IS EVER THIS EASY! AH! Jay: “Hey, hold on, I’ll get you down.” Trent: “You of all people know that’s not needed.” I teleport from the net and sweep off whatever came off the net. As soon as that happens, a figure jumps from behind a bush… it looks like a native guy with a spear. He doesn’t speak. He looks angry. Jesus: “We come in piece.” Michael: “I hope you mean “peace.” Jesus: “It’s impossible to correct my spelling while I am speaking it!” The Native guy raises his spear. He looks aggressive. It’s as if we’d did something to him. As soon as I turn around, there are at least thirty native guys surrounding us. They’re not looking for any type of communication. Then an eleven foot tall man lands on the ground with a double-bladed spear. He looks as though the only time he opens his mouth is to breathe or eat. He’s never talked. Trent: “That guy is huge!” The eleven foot guy points his spear forward and the natives charge with their spears. Michael crushes three with his psychic powers. A spear flies at Michael and he catches it. I pull out my two pistols, stop time, and begins shooting at a couple of natives. I look down and start time again. Three more fall unconscious making a total of six. The camera zooms in on Jay looking at about six more natives throwing spears at him. Jay quickly raises up a wall, blocking it. Then the six natives rush and break through the wall. Jay pulls out his Ivy Whip Sword and slashes one. He then grabs one with his whip and swings it into the other four still standing. That leaves a total if twelve knocked out. The tall native jumps and knocks Michael in the ground. Two other natives tie him up. Then Jay attempts to trap him in a metal dome. When he does so, the 11-ffot guy rips out of it. Then he gets in a melee duel with him and me and Jay used hits him as an appropriate weapon at this point. So he wraps it around the double-bladed spear and pulls, in hopes of jerking it from his hand. He doesn’t and the eleven foot tall guy ends up pulling him to the ground. Jesus strikes him with a bolt of lightning and causes him drop his weapon. Jesus doesn’t notice a spear being thrown at him, so I halt time, teleport, and chop the spear in half. When I start time again, one of the natives appear confused. It was as if it ripped in half in mid-air for no reason. The eleven foot guy knocks Jesus back and they don’t even need to tie him up. He picks up his weapon and attempts to stab me. I teleport and appear directly behind him where I draw my thunder sword. I thrust it into his side where he’s electrocuted. He’s shocked and realizes he was out smarted as he dies. The natives go all out on me. There’s 18 of them and one of me. So I begin shooting and they overwhelm me. They don’t kill any of us. They bond and strangle us on the trip to wherever they take us. I just know whoever leads them isn’t going to be happy with one of their greatest warriors plus 12 others dead. When we’re there, identity really disturbs me. It looked like Jeremy. Jeremy: “What is this? These aren’t the girls that enslaved half of the tribe. These aren’t even girls! Wait a minute. It can’t be… Trent, Michael, and Jay? Don’t tell me you guys turned evil too… and is that Jesus?” Michael: “Whoa, what gave you the impression we turned evil?” Jeremy: The fact that only half of the tribe members returned from the battle battle. And you were the one to spring the trap the other girls came here for.” Jesus: “Mind telling about it?” Jeremy: “No. All this talk on Jewels of Malice began a few days ago in class after the mistake I had made…” Chapter 11: Jeremy’s life was in for the worst and Kelly’s fall from humanity Days ago… Jeremy: “Kelly, what are you doing?” Kelly: “Playing “Through the fire and the Flames” on Hyperspeed 5.” Jeremy: “That’s incredibly fast.” Kelly: “I know. I haven’t missed a note. I’m close to the end. This’ll be the first 100% ever!” Jeremy: “Interesting. I’m going somewhere over there to read a book.” Jeremy walks in front of Kelly and unplugs the audio/video cords and the guitar. Kelly can’t see, he freaks out and scrambles to plug them up. When he gets the video cord back in, it says “SONG FAILED AT 99.99%”. Kelly begins getting angry. He takes his guitar and smashes Holbrook’s television. Jeremy looks in shock. He runs. Kelly: “URRR! JEREMY! I SWEAR IF I EVER FIND YOU, I’LL KILL YOU!!!” He then goes home without talking. Kelly doesn’t talk to anyone. The next day Jason thinks it’s funny. Jason: “Hey Kelly, why ain’t cha talking? Oh, is it because you failed “Through the Fire and the Flames” on Expert Hyperspeed 5? AHAHAHA!!” Kelly ignores him, but the tension builds in his facial ex Jason: “SO WHAT PERCENT WAS IT AGAIN? 99%? AHAHAHA!!!” Kelly can no longer ignore him and extends his hand in hatred. This is when he discovers that he steals souls. Because now Jason is lifelessly sitting on the ground. And so the awesome scale was triggered and Kelly absorbed the souls of 98% of the population. Kelly then found the lust for souls he wanted. But he wanted more power. So he went to the library and read about the legend of the JEWELS OF MALICE. Meanwhile Jeremy went to Chile to escape Kelly wrath. Jeremy is exploring the jungle area. He’s found by natives thinking he is god, and so he naturally plays tribe leader. It was like driving a crashing plane with a train tied to it. Anyway, after this he walks through the jungle he finds a Jewel of Malice. Just then a couple of leopards attack and the jewel glowing scare them off. Jeremy though it brings good luck so he hung it on his tent. But luck was the last thing it brought them. A couple of days later, four girls in bikinis show up. Jeremy, unable to say no to their requests, or look above the neck, let them see the jewel. But underneath their bikinis they were actually wearing ninja costumes and captured half the tribe, forcing them to dig for more jewels. But they didn’t know that there were only seven, and used the tribe to dig for nothing. So the half that got away planned to plant fake jewels so the Ninja Girls would pick them up. But unfortunately, our team picked one up. And we got here where we are now. Chapter 12: Duel on a Vanishing Continent Jeremy: “So that’s how we got in this situation.” Jesus: “Interesting. I think I’ll take of these Ninjas for you and free the natives.” Trent: “Yeah, plus we really need that jewel.” Jeremy: “You guys will help me after what happened?” Michael: “No problem.” Jay: “Plus there’s a couple of guys needing brought down.” Jeremy: “They’re in the rock field digging.” We teleport over the tip of the jungle out of sight. We peer over. They’re grinding at the ground with picks. Jeremy: “This is horrible!” Jesus: “C’mon, no one seems to be around.” Trent: “Yeah, something doesn’t feel so… right about this…” We all dash out into the field and begin breaking the chains that have them tied to the ground. The chains are all eventually broken and most of then are free. After about four minutes they’re all free. When they’re all free, Jay notices the jewel lying on a cliff side. Jay: “I’ve got it!” Jay runs as fast as he can and jumps for the jewel. But then it’s swiped up by N-Michael. N-Michael: “If you idiots had common sense, you would have sent either the guy with superspeed or the guy with teleporting.” The rest of the N-Team land next to N-Michael. N-Jay: “Ah, this wouldn’t have taken so long if N-Jesus wasn’t using the device upside down.” Trent: “Not you guys again!” Jay: “Yeah, uhh, Trent, that’s the only reason we came to this place.” Trent: “Oh yeah, I forgot.” N-Michael: “Now let’s see the power of two jewels!” He lifts his hand in the air gaining four times the power. But as soon as that happens, one of his jewels disappear. N-Michael: “WHAT?!?!” Jay: “Alright, Trent, nice use of that teleport and stop time, man!” Trent: “Jay. I did nothing.” Jay: “Really?” Suddenly four females in Ninja Outfits appear directly above the N-Team. It was Megan, Alison, Caitlyn, and Kirsten. Alison: “Wow. That was really easy. In fact, you guys suck.” N-Trent: “How lame! Our entrance just got ripped out of the way like it was nothing.” Jesus: “Well, this is disturbing. In fact, I’m a bit worried at the fact our villains multiply every five minutes.” Kirsten: ”Shut up! Just give us those freaking jewels if you want to leave.” Trent: ”Whoa, what? You guys, evil?” Caitlyn: “Yeah, it doesn’t really matter though, does it? I mean, c’mon, everyone’s doing it. With these jewels we’re digging we’ll be ultimate.” Jesus: “You’re wasting your time here! There’s only one on every continent.” Megan: “Then there’s no way to get them all—“ N-Jay holds out the tracking Radar. N-Jay: “We’ve the only tracker.” N-Michael: “You IDIOT! DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT THE RADAR!” Alison: “Humph. Hey, idiots. How about we fight for the damned things.” N-Jesus: “Don’t blink or you’ll miss the part where we kicked your ass!” Kirsten: “Whatever.” Jay: “Bring it!” Trent: “Hey, like, Jeremy, you should move.” Jeremy: “I’m hiding with the tribe.” Jeremy goes back into the jungle and waits. Meanwhile the heroes have charged towards the other two groups. When the groups clash, the ground beneath them experiences most of the impact as they all jump in the air. The Ninja Girls pull out their axes and begin attacking. They all rush past the screen and the screen pans on the lowest group, which consists of Michael, N-Jay, Kirsten, and Caitlyn Michael attacks Kirsten and N-Jay attempts to attack Caitlyn. They both deflect Michael and N-Jay’s attacks with their axes and deflect another attack by rotating their axes until Kirsten knocks Michael back. Kirsten knocks back N-Jay into the way of Michael who proceeds to knock N-Jay at full speed back to Kirsten and knocks her flying to the ground. When N-Jay bounces off he’s unable to regain control, so he hovering. Kirsten charges at Michael who he blasts back down to the ground with his psychic powers. N-Jay regains his jump and flies at Michael, attacking with his fist and is blocked. He’s knocked a bit further back. Michael appeared to be doing everything perfect until Megan, who knocks him into N-Jay and then attacking with her axe, sends them to the ground. Then I stop time in mid-air crashing into Megan causing devastating damage. I then charge and executing a series of teleport attacks then send Megan to the ground. Time hasn’t started yet so she’s still in mid-air. But N-Trent, also in stop time, comes charging at me. We cause a series of teleporting attacks to one another. In normal speed they see a series of energy clash as Megan flies to the ground. N-Trent screws up one teleportation attack and ends up getting knocked into a higher battle which is between Alison, Jay, and N-Michael. N-Trent and N-Michael catch Alison and Jay off-guard and invoke a series of slow-motion attacks and psychic attacks that would be able to keep them in air but in psychic range as well. Until eventually they both got Alison and not Jay. Jay then used this opportunity to strike them both with lightning as Alison falls to the ground. They fall as well. And then at the top ring of battle which consisted of Jesus and N-Jesus. They both struck lightning at each other continuously until Alison popped up and knocked them both into the side of a mountain. After they went through and fell through a section of the jungle. N-Jesus and Jesus then clashed until interrupted by Allison where she continued chopping them with her axe. After they were knocked back I showed up, stopped time and beat the crap out of Alison until I was knocked back by Megan where Jay continued my attack frenzy upon Alison. Jay used the super thunder uppercut to knocked up into the air where she flew out of the way. Jesus than throws N-Jesus out of the way by blasting massive lightning. When he flew out and landed he felt the time to use the Jewel of Malice had arrived. N-Jesus: “TEAM REGROUP!!” The N-Team immediately follows through to the order. They regroup to N-Jesus. N-Jesus: “I think it’s time we showed those heroes and ninjas real power! Let’s use the jewel now!” He uses it. It multiplies his power by two. But since Kelly was waiting for this moment, he could detect the power. He knew exactly where it was. Kelly: “HAHAHA!! TWO MORE JEWELS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED IN SOUTH AMERICA. TIME TO COLLECT WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!!!” Kelly then flies towards the spot of battle. He flies in hopes of collecting two more jewels. Chapter 13: Duel on a Vanishing Continent (cont) The screen pans on Chuck Norris swimming onto the beach. As he reaches shore he lands on the beach. Chuck looks toward the heroes direction as the battle continues. N-Jesus uses the jewel to shoot lightning at Jesus and Jay, who from the last encounter, learn to dodge the lightning. But they couldn’t turn and fight. They ran and dodged very impressively until Alison comes up and attempts to slice Jesus where he flips over N-Jesus and loses him. Jesus makes a sword of lightning to block Alison’s axe. They continue attacking and blocking each other’s attacks while Jay is avoiding N-Jesus. They’re moving incredibly fast. N-Jesus, Alison, and Jesus do not notice they’re about to crash into a rock wall. Jay notices, stops, and N-Jesus runs into him causing them all to crash through it and fall over a Cliffside where Alison and Jay fall down. Jesus and N-Jesus fist fight on a rock hovering through the air they ripped from the rock wall. They then jump off the rock and shoot lightning at each other until they hit the cliff wall on the other side of the canyon. They both lose their Radar and their Radar Radar without noticing. The Radar lands at Michaels feet while the Radar Radar lands behind a bush. Chuck Norris picks it up. Michael: “Is this the Radar? They must have dropped it in battle.” Megan: “That’s the Radar? C’mon, give it to me!” The screen pans on Megan, Kirsten, and Caitlyn. They’re on the right. N-Michael: “Hate to break it to you, but that thing belongs to us. Consequences. Heh. The screen pans on N-Jay, N-Trent, and N-Michael to the left. Michael: “Why don’t you try and take it?!” The six jump at Michael. They all clash, and Michael jumps over using his superspeed. He runs from the area and Megan, N-Jay, N-Trent, and N-Michael clash. Kirsten and Caitlyn notice Michael and chase after him. They use a technique where they rotate their bodies around each other with axes and appear to be a rotating saw. Michael speeds himself up and kick-flips off of one of the rock field rocks and jumps over Kirsten and Caitlyn. N-Jay uses his earth power to knock away Megan quickly. As Michael runs back, N-Jay jumps at him and Michael pushes him away with his psychic powers. He then jumps on N-Michael, kicking him face first to the ground and uses his psychic power to ride him like a skateboard against the ground. N-Trent stops time, but so do I, saving Michael by knocking N-Trent out of the way. Kirsten and Caitlyn chop the rock in half and make a turn for me and Michael. Michael, using his superspeed, avoids them completely and they continue chasing me. Michael heads through the forest and straight up a mountain side. He’s so fast he’s not falling. He reaches the top of the mountain and Megan attempts to slice him as she jumps. Michael dodges at superspeed jumping onto another mountain. Megan rips one of the mountains in half missing Michael. Jeremy is worried. Jeremy: “If this goes any further, this place will be destroyed.” Jay runs across the open plains as Alison tries to slice him. Jay pulls out his Ivy Whip. They cross blades until Jay uses the thunder element to knock her away. Kirsten and Caitlyn are still charging at me axe rotating. I see Jay and know they’re going to miss me and kill him, so I stop time and thrust them several times with my sword until I start time again and knock them apart, Kirsten fires in an opposite direction and Jay goes over to fight her. Caitlyn lands in a direction where I can kick her out of the way. The camera zooms in on Jesus and N-Jesus having a Matrix like battle where they’re fast and blocking each others attacks until Alison, hit by Jay, lands on top of them. N-Jesus knocks Alison out of the way using a mild thunderbolt. Alison gets mad. Alison: “Team! Regroup!” The team appears immediately. They use smoke to disappear and reappear. Megan: “Something wrong?” Alison: “Yeah! These guys are handing it to us!!” She holds up the jewel. Alison: “It’s time to see if that crap Kelly went crazy over is true…” Allison pulls out an energy ninja star blaster. He launches at Michael on the mountains. The energy contracts and expands because of the jewel, so she launches it at Michael. The results are catastrophic. Michael is blown through the air as the mountains are destroyed completely. I teleport, catch him, and bring him to the ground. Alison: “Wow. These things are great. And now I know I’m not going to miss again!” Megan: “Cool.” Kirsten: “Wow. You aim so bad you almost hit us.” At the heroes on the other side of the area… Michael: “What the f**k was THAT?!?!” Jesus: “A jewel at work. Again.” At the N-Team a little away from the heroes… N-Jesus: “I believe a little competition is in order.” He uses the powers of the jewel to gain twice the power again and charges up a large lightning bolt. Trent: “Look out! They’re going to use the lightning again!!” Jesus: “Wait… I sense a mass collection of souls nearby… Ah! No… HE’S HERE?!” The screen pans out to Kelly floating above the countries water boundary. He suddenly flies to the area at lightning speed towards N-Jesus. N-Jesus: “SAY GOODBYE, HEROES!!” He almost releases the beam when Kelly flies at lightning speed right through him, stealing the jewel. He now has three. N-Jesus rips in half and falls on the ground. He explodes. The N-Team is shocked. Kelly moves and knocks Allison out of the way at lightning speed quickly. He gets the jewel. He now has four of the seven in existence giving him 16 times the power in his abilities. Alison is knocked next to the heroes and N-Team. Megan: “Are you okay?!?” Alison: “Do I look okay, you mindless idiot?!” Kelly lands on the ground and his lightning glow wears off. He lands in front of all three groups and before he can say anything, the N-Team attacks for revenge. N-Trent stops time. He attacks several times. When he starts time it has no effect. Kelly incinerates him with a flamethrower from his hand. N-Trent is a pile of ashes, N-Michael uses psychic to attack but Kelly attacks once and causes N-Michael to explode. N-Jay strikes with fire so Kelly uses his ice breathe to freeze the fire and N-Jay. Kelly crushes him with his bear hands. N-Jay is now a pile of frozen cubes. Kelly then stops to look at the heroes, completely ignoring the ninjas. Kelly: “Hmph. You guys have already did half of the work for me. However, I’m confident in my ability to locate the other three. Your services are no longer required. Obviously I need new programming methods so my bots do not turn on me…” He points to the N-Team he just destroyed single handedly. Kelly: “Trent, Jay, and Michael… Hmm… I think a more powerful update is in order…” The ninjas look at Kelly and talk amongst themselves. Megan: “Hey, uhh, what’s his power level…?” Alison: “Hold on… It’s over 9000!!!!” Megan: “9000? What?” Kelly turns around and looks at the ninjas. Kelly: “Just who are these idiots?” Alison is agitated, Megan doesn’t care, and Kirsten and Caitlyn think he’s stupid. Alison: “IDIOT? Why don’t you SHUTUP!! MEGAN, KILL HIM.” Megan: “Kay.” Megan thrusts forward and attacks Kelly samurai style. They pause. Megan’s axe falls apart and she screams. Kelly: “FOOLS! If you’re all so eager as to throw away your lives, so be it.” Kelly’s jewels float around him with the colors they are. Yellow, Purple, Green, and Blue. When he gets the powers, they float around his waist. The transformation makes a lightning energy to go around a few times. And then he looks at the ninjas. Kelly: “I’LL CRUSH YOU!!!” Alison pulls out her axe, as well as Kirsten and Caitlyn. Megan can’t. She jumps after Kelly as well as the other three. They jump in the air and float. Alison attempts to slice Kelly but Kelly dodges by flying so incredibly fast that as soon as Alison misses, Kelly is there to knock her down. Caitlyn attempts to slice and misses for the same reason and she’s knocked in Alison’s direction. Then Kirsten and makes impact with Caitlyn and Alison, and Kelly hits them all with his flame thrower. Megan attempts to hit Kelly but he dodges flying 16 times faster and begins to use his fists just as quickly to the point that Kelly is moving so fast he isn’t seen but Megan has been hit repeatability. Then after Megan’s lungs were shattered, she couldn’t breathe when she hit the ground. She crawled to us looking for help and she died a slow and painful choking death. Alison: “HE KILLED MEGAN! NO MERCY!” The group charges as Alison attempts to slice Kelly. Kelly catches the axe blade with his hand and loosens Alison’s grip on it by freezing her hand and ripping it off. Alison: “Ahh! MY HAND!!” Alison is knocked back. Kelly still has her axe. Alison is bleeding all over the place. Kirsten:” Okay! Time! Now! Caitlyn! Let’s end this fight!’ They go into their axe rotating position they were in before. They appear faster than a chainsaw blade. Kelly straightens his fist and they clash right into him. It has no effect whatsoever. The fist repels the axe grinding so great that sparks are coming from Kelly’s hand. Eventually Kelly knocks Kirsten out of the circle. Caitlyn falls in front of Kelly. Using Alison’s axe, he chops her in half. She lies on the ground twitching in pain. She coughs up blood and bleeds to death. The whole time she screams and moans until she dies. Kirsten sees her sister dead and attempts to slice Kelly out of anger and hate, but Kelly slices her head off and crushes the head in between his hand causing blood to rush out and bones to hang out. Alison sees them all dead and looks at Kelly. Alison: “You ASS***! How could you do such a thing?!” Kelly: “ASS***? I’m no ASS***. I’m a GOD!!!” Alison: “Whatever. We’ll see about that.” Alison pulls out the weapon she had before. Ninja Star Energy Blaster. She struggles because she has one hand. Alison: “Oh yeah! You’re in trouble now! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE THAT MESS WITH FREAKIN NINJAS?!?!” Kelly: “Do you ever shut-up?” Alison: “I’ll shut you up!” She then launches the weapon. Kelly doesn’t move. He doesn’t even flinch. The weapon seems as though it completely destroyed Kelly. The explosion could be seen for miles. When it stopped, Kelly stood there without a scratch. Kelly: “Done now? Good. It’s my turn.” Kelly grabs her hand and breaks all of her fingers. Then he rips off her hand. Allison is crying. She’s bleeding from her hand. Alison: “Stop…I-I can-an’t take much more of this…” Then she bleeds to the point she’s squirting blood out of her nose and mouth. She’s bawling. Kelly uses his flamethrower to burn her leg. Alison: “Stop it, s-s-stop… It hurts…” Kelly: “I’m tired of hearing that mouth run.” Kelly rips the whole bottom part of her jaw. She can’t talk now and she’s groaning from pain and her breathing is filled with fear. Kelly: “Now this is what pleases me…” Kelly tortures her by poking her throat. Until eventually she dies a horrible, painful, and slow death. Kelly: “There. That was pleasing.” The heroes look in amazement. They couldn’t believe how easy it was for Kelly to defeat the N-Team and the Ninja Team. Trent: “He destroyed them so easily!” Jesus: “This is going to be difficult.” Michael:”…” Jay: “Impossible!!!” Kelly: “Impressed? That was only 4 of the 7. Imagine my strength when I get them all!” Jesus: “Not on my watch.” |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 25/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Hey, c'mon, three weeks? I know most of you aren't social in person, but on this board you should be like the most social witty bastards alive |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 26/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Haha... I rarely ever get snow here.
All we receive in this state is tornados and drunkin rednecks. I hate them both  |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 27/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Hey, c'mon, I said most
Thought it was worth a try |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 28/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Posted by Grey Mario 1351 is a pretty useless number anyway |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 29/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Of course, I just wasn't aware of your actions
I haven't been here in a while |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 30/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Woo.
I can tell I have something to go back and read later to understand this (maybe not so) interesting story Edit: I am saddened by that disapointing story, and slightly offended you expected me to know you wasted that post |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 31/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
...If that is the case, then they aren't doing their job well enough to notice any population control... |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 32/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
That is understandable... as that was when I considered my story to be more of a joke.
There is a revised version on my dead laptop, and perhaps I'll fetch it later. The font sizes were also messed up during the Microsoft Word copy. |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 33/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
That explains why my post count is in the 30s |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 34/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I want to be able to halt time.
For obvious reasons. |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 35/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Ugh. Gross.
Of course, this is coming from a guy who eats Ramen noodles and Hotpockets since the dawn of time. |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 36/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I don't eat this so called junk food.
The only item I've eaten on this list is a sandwich |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 37/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Every man uses that site for what he wants to... and it technically isn't wrong or right.
For instance, I find interest in this. |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 38/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I find it strange you bring up hard work.
I find it even stranger that you typed in a southern accent. The strangest part was you thought it was funny |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 39/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I prefer pizza actually... had too many ham and cheese as a kid |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 40/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I distinctly remember saying that the item in the other food thread was disgusting.
that post was one stating i liked ramen noodles and hotpockets |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 41/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
Posted by XerussPosted by Riku Haha, I see what you have done there... These items are available to me (I mean, they're almost available to everyone). I just choose not to eat them. |
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Koopa Level: 25 Posts: 42/103 EXP: 83181 Next: 6439 Since: 02-19-07 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 3645 days Last view: 3632 days |
I would love to know how you are able to tie a concept with a microwave item |
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