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04-29-24 06:30 AM |
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| Main - General Chat - General Quotes Thread | New thread | New reply |
| Sonicandfails |
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 Lantern Ghost Level: 60 Posts: 145/766 EXP: 1679921 Next: 92857 Since: 02-19-07 Last post: 5967 days Last view: 5773 days |
For you know. General quotes.
Friend: "I need to bring my pc by later, my virus killed my computer." Me: "Your virus?" *raises one eyebrow* Friend: "Yea, that thing you gave me." Me: "I gave you?" Friend: "The AVG thing..." Me: "Oh, virus PROTECTION." Friend: "Same thing, anyways, I let it...'clense' a file like it says and when I went to go online WHAM computer restarted and now I get this blue screen with a bunch of shit about bios." Me: "Yea. That can't be good. You know, a virus that big normally means you are an idiot for getting it." Friend: "No, you put it on there." Me: "No, I put the anti-virus on there." Friend: "What's the fucking difference?" Me: "Whatever. Bring it by later." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Incompentence, AHOY! ____________________ I miss post headers more. |
| Kernal |
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Gone Level: 88 Posts: 1057/1881 EXP: 6463641 Next: 187023 Since: 02-20-07 Last post: 6149 days Last view: 6140 days |
(About a really mean teacher who looks like a witch, at a school that was so squeamish about swear words that even "sucks" resulted in detention)
"She's a witch with a B. And I don't mean at the end, like a witchb." |
| Koitenshin -∞ |
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Happy Hour! Level: 81 Posts: 132/1556 EXP: 4850405 Next: 142444 Since: 03-25-07 Last post: 2679 days Last view: 2676 days |
This happened after seeing an old fat woman get out of one of my friend's vehicles. 
He walked up to me and I asked who that was that got out of his car. The next thing I know he bursts into song. "I was desperate and I only had 5 bucks. So the whore I got was ugly, fat, and old. I wouldn't have been willin' without some penicillin. Luckily her twat was full of mold" Needless to say I hurled and he laughed saying that it was just his grandma visiting the family. Turns out the song is from John Valby AKA Dr. Dirty entitled Skeeter. ____________________ 
What FF7: Advent Children Character Are You? |
| Ailure |
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Hats Steam Board2 group Level: 121 Posts: 561/3965 EXP: 19783551 Next: 273145 Since: 02-19-07 From: Sweden, Skåne Last post: 3304 days Last view: 2055 days |
Posted by Sonicandfailshttp://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/anti Just show them a dictionary what Anti means or something. 
People who have no idea what anti means... jesus. ____________________ AIM: gamefreak1337, MSN: Emil_sim@spray.se, XMPP: ailure@xmpp.kafuka.org
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| cpubasic13 |
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 Lakitu Level: 52 Posts: 118/555 EXP: 1036064 Next: 47776 Since: 02-19-07 From: Citra, Florida Last post: 6018 days Last view: 4449 days |
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| Omega |
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 Red Goomba Level: 16 Posts: 32/35 EXP: 16406 Next: 3850 Since: 02-19-07 Last post: 6215 days Last view: 6168 days |
Here's one I had on the phone yesterday:
Me: "So yeah, are you comin' to my house tommorow?" Luz(Friend) : "What the fuck? Why?" Me: "God, do you listen to anything I say?! I told you, I stepped on glass and I can't walk! I need company!" Luz: "Oooookay. I'll see if I can go tommorow." Me: "Yay! Ey, can I touch your boob?" Luz: "What the hell? What did you just say?" Me: "Erm, I said that you're a n00b." Luz: "Wtf's a "n00b"? Me: "You. Just google it or someshit..." .....?  . |
| Kawa |
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 CHIKKN NI A BAAZZKIT!!! 80's Cheerilee is best pony Level: 138 Posts: 145/5344 EXP: 30951813 Next: 711168 Since: 02-20-07 From: The Netherlands Last post: 4501 days Last view: 2636 days |
Recently, Chief's USB stick died. Second one in three months. Same model as mine which still works, just bigger capacity. Now, all three of us speak Dutch. I use hacker jargon, translated or not, and various memetic phrases. Richard apparently thinks I'm cool cos he copies these phrases from me like nothing else.
Chief: Dammit, I think I got them all but what was that last file? Richard, out of the blue: "Garnaal punt jeepech". The fun? It translates to "prawn dot jaypeg", a pun he took from me. We both nearly choked and I was happy to be pointing away from the Lappy at the time, for he implied it was pr0n. ____________________ Wife make lunch - Shampoo Opera - give it a spin Spare some of your free time? <GreyMaria> I walked around the Lake so many goddamn times that my sex drive was brutally murdered Kawa rocks  — byuu |
| Kernal |
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Gone Level: 88 Posts: 1059/1881 EXP: 6463641 Next: 187023 Since: 02-20-07 Last post: 6149 days Last view: 6140 days |
Posted by Omega Mmm...booooooooooooooobies... Here's another one from high school: (Person #1 is playing with a Gameboy Advance, which is turned off, at the beginning of class) Person #2: What are you doing? Person #1: Uh........spelling words! Person #2: With only the letters A and B? The only word you could spell would be..."ab"! |
| Xkeeper |
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Level: 105 Posts: 1102/2846 EXP: 12030940 Next: 231320 Since: 02-19-07 Last post: 6063 days Last view: 2800 days |
Technically, there's also L and R, which allos you to spell "raar", "lab", "bar", among others 
(or U and D if you're really up for some fun) ____________________ I dealt with it. |
| Acmlm |
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 Flurry Level: 37 Posts: 175/251 EXP: 315107 Next: 23146 Since: 02-19-07 From: Mirabel, Québec, Canada Last post: 6183 days Last view: 1816 days |
Flurry #&postrank& Or "ball", and even more if you do it on a SNES or Nintendo DS instead (add X and Y), even better on Gamecube (add C and Z) ... now if it was a PlayStation controller (or PSP), you'd really be screwed  ____________________ |
| Kernal |
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Gone Level: 88 Posts: 1061/1881 EXP: 6463641 Next: 187023 Since: 02-20-07 Last post: 6149 days Last view: 6140 days |
Yeah, I actually pointed out the L/R thing, I guess #2 was only looking at the front of the GBA, or he himself had a GBC or something and didn't know about the L and R buttons.
When my mom tried a PS2, she called the circle button "zero". I thought that was hilarious. |
| Kles |
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Level: 75 Posts: 828/1301 EXP: 3718266 Next: 108638 Since: 02-19-07 From: Canada |
Posted by Kernal After we got a PSX, it took nearly 3 years for my dad to stop calling it, "the Nintendo". V_V |
| UnsurpassedDarkness |
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 Goomba Level: 13 Posts: 4/25 EXP: 9887 Next: 380 Since: 03-14-07 From: Kentucky Last post: 6053 days Last view: 5861 days |
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| Katelyn |
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beh Level: 86 Posts: 1068/1816 EXP: 6131277 Next: 10830 Since: 02-21-07 Last post: 6149 days Last view: 6149 days |
With a Super NES controller, my cousin's name can be spelled xd
Also, some quotes from real life
Computer class, within the first week of school: - Heather: It's Windows Me (pronounced like Me), Katelyn, not Windows ME (pronounced emm-EE). - Me: It's always been ME, not Me. - Heather: It's spelled "Me" not "ME". *continues on for about 5 minutes* Overheard at a local computer store by me: - Girl: Do you have any software for Amiga here? - Salesperson: There's no such thing as an Amiga computer. - Girl: Yes there is, I own an Amiga computer. - Salesperson: If there is a such thing as an Amiga computer, I've never heard of it. - Girl: An Amiga is the best computer ever. - Salesperson: How old are you, anyway? - Girl: 11 years old. *another salesperson shows up* - Salesperson 2: What is it now? - Salesperson: This person is looking for Amiga software, and there's no such thing as an Amiga. - Salesperson 2: Yes, there is a real Amiga computer, made by Commodore in the 1980s. - Salesperson: I've never heard of Amiga until now... - Salesperson: (to girl) You're only 11, how the hell do you know what an Amiga is? And no, we don't sell Amiga software here. Get a newer computer. Kathleen's failed attempt to install XP on her computer (from computer class last semester): - Kathleen: (angrily) Why won't my fucking computer take XP? - Me: Maybe you don't have enough RAM? - Kathleen: That's not the point, I just want to install XP!!! - Me: (pointing) You. Do. Not. Have. Enough. RAM! - Kathleen: So what? I have 32 megs of memory. - Me: Well, XP takes 128 MB, and your computer is probably too old. (I later go to Kathleen's house, and look at her computer through the System Information applet.) - Me: 333 MHz Pentium II... 1.0 GB hard drive... 32 MB of RAM... - Kathleen: So? - Me: Your computer is too old for XP. Stick with 98, it will be better for you. - Kathleen: (angrily) I want XP goddammit! 98 is too slow! - Me: Sorry Kathleen, you can't run XP, even if you did upgrade your system. Besides, a Pentium II is too slow for XP. However, I could put 95 in instead. - Kathleen: No, 95 is too old for me too. You better put XP in, or else! - Me: Well, you can't run XP on this 8-year-old computer, Kathleen. If you want XP, then you'll have to get a newer computer. Someone trying to fit a 44 MB file on a floppy in comp class last semester: - Kristen: Why won't the file copy to my floppy? - Me: Well, how big is it? - Kristen: It says "Floppy disk is full". - Me: Right-click on the file and select Properties. (Kristen right-clicks on the file.) - Kristen: 44 megabytes. - Me: No wonder it won't fit, it's too big for a floppy! - Kristen: What do I do now? - Me: You could burn a CD instead. Do you have any burnables? Trig class, circa January or February 2007: - Mr. Walsh: And now, to present our next unit *projector goes out* *the class starts laughing* - Mr. Walsh: (angrily) Why can't I find a projector that works? |
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