Mental Convolusion

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Flan

Posted on 02-21-07 02:19 AM

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I've had bad days before, but I don't think "bad" does justice to the daze I have been experiencing these days. My thoughts feel fuzzy, bleary, incoherent, and muddled, if that makes any sense. This is thoroughly flummoxing. I feel like Charlie from Flowers for Algernon, aware of once-possessed knowledge, but just grasping at loose ends. I can't even seem describe my own sentiments and thoughts properly.

Kles

Posted on 02-21-07 03:14 AM

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Have you seen a doctor? It might be a medical condition. Otherwise, how has it been evolving over time?

Flan

Posted on 02-21-07 03:48 AM

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Posted by Kles
Have you seen a doctor? It might be a medical condition. Otherwise, how has it been evolving over time?

If I might provide an analog, it would be like Abra becoming Kadabra, with the passing of my fading thoughts, Alakazam. My doctor said I looked depressed. I told him he looked sleepy.

BMF54123

Posted on 02-21-07 12:10 PM

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I've had the same problem for a few years now, although almost certainly to a much greater extent. Most days I feel as though I've gone completely retarded. I've had two CAT scans, numerous blood tests, and a meeting with a neurologist, and they all tell me I'm "normal." Ha ha ha. I guess being completely muddle-headed and uncoordinated to the point of mangling simple sentences and tripping over my own feet is "normal" nowadays!

I guess the closest I've come to any sort of diagnosis is depression and anxiety, though I'm almost certain it's something more (I think I'm anxious and depressed BECAUSE of this problem!). My subconscious keeps telling me I have some kind of brain damage or slowly-progressing disease, but then I go and create something like this, in a matter of hours, with no prior programming experience...

sigh. I'm so confused.

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Flan

Posted on 02-21-07 09:07 PM

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Posted by BMF54123
I've had the same problem for a few years now, although almost certainly to a much greater extent. Most days I feel as though I've gone completely retarded. I've had two CAT scans, numerous blood tests, and a meeting with a neurologist, and they all tell me I'm "normal." Ha ha ha. I guess being completely muddle-headed and uncoordinated to the point of mangling simple sentences and tripping over my own feet is "normal" nowadays!

I guess the closest I've come to any sort of diagnosis is depression and anxiety, though I'm almost certain it's something more (I think I'm anxious and depressed BECAUSE of this problem!). My subconscious keeps telling me I have some kind of brain damage or slowly-progressing disease, but then I go and create something like this, in a matter of hours, with no prior programming experience...

sigh. I'm so confused.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to marginalize your opinion by saying you don't count since you're still smart; regardless of what you were before, you don't seem to have a problem.

Tarale

Posted on 02-22-07 09:46 AM

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I've felt like this to the point that I had myself convinced that I was stupid. And I'll be honest -- it's for me a Depression thing. When I finally told a doctor about it, I was given alternative Depression treatment, mainly a drug that is used for Attention Deficit Disorder (not Depression). It seems to do a fairly good job.

Most of the time I'm okay now even without the drugs. But when I get run down, when bad things happen, or when I am very fatigued (ie, lately with the Glandular Fever) I feel like a scatterbrained dolt again.

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Flan

Posted on 02-22-07 09:49 AM

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Posted by Tarale
I've felt like this to the point that I had myself convinced that I was stupid. And I'll be honest -- it's for me a Depression thing. When I finally told a doctor about it, I was given alternative Depression treatment, mainly a drug that is used for Attention Deficit Disorder (not Depression). It seems to do a fairly good job.

Most of the time I'm okay now even without the drugs. But when I get run down, when bad things happen, or when I am very fatigued (ie, lately with the Glandular Fever) I feel like a scatterbrained dolt again.

I'm usually a scatterbrained dolt. It bothers me to be a cloudy-headed scatterbrained dolt. Again, I don't think it's depression.

Tarale

Posted on 02-22-07 09:57 AM

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Well, I'm not a psychiatrist, so the only person who might know is your doctor. The thing with doctors though is you kinda need to find a good one for this stuff. Most my doctors just let me hang with this fuzzy scatterbrained idiot with poor self-esteem concerning my mental capacity for... three years.

Then I met one doctor who actually knew some of this stuff. The only one who seems to get that the matters concerning my mental capacity are both a cause of - and caused by - my Depression, and that I devalue myself as a human being once my intelligence fails me.

So yeah, Attention Deficit Medication. Now, if he's treating me for Depression or for an adult variant of Attention Deficit, I actually don't know. i get the feeling this guy's also a bit clever.

At any rate, all I needed was more of a "leg up" kind of thing anyway, a kick start. Once I could feel some of my intelligence coming back, that was enough to convince me I wasn't really a fucking slackjawed moron and help myself the rest of the way (no drugs).

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Flan

Posted on 02-22-07 10:05 AM

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Posted by SamuraiX
Posted by Kles
Have you seen a doctor? It might be a medical condition. Otherwise, how has it been evolving over time?

If I might provide an analog, it would be like Abra becoming Kadabra, with the passing of my fading thoughts, Alakazam. My doctor said I looked depressed. I told him he looked sleepy.

My doctor did say something of the sort. as did my mother. My cat stared at me. My lungs hurt.

Tarale

Posted on 02-22-07 10:36 AM

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Well, if it's even a possibility that you might have Depression, don't you think it's worth checking it out and finding out ways to deal with it?

I dunno, but I couldn't stand having to simply deal with the mental dullness as an indefinite reality of my existance. When I'm like that I start to feel suicidal. I'd rather look for a fix.

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Flan

Posted on 02-22-07 11:23 AM

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Posted by Tarale
Well, if it's even a possibility that you might have Depression, don't you think it's worth checking it out and finding out ways to deal with it?

I dunno, but I couldn't stand having to simply deal with the mental dullness as an indefinite reality of my existance. When I'm like that I start to feel suicidal. I'd rather look for a fix.

Though this tenebrous trauma that transverses through this trifling thing truncating the temperament, Tarale tries to transpose this traipsing, tottering, thankless, tramp; though thoughtful, this trepidation thrives throughout.

Tarale

Posted on 02-22-07 11:27 AM

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w00t for alliteration!

Hey, that's pretty clever.

In fact, better than most my alliteration crap. Did that take you long?

Reminds me of a thread I once posted - a game, in which you had to write some alliteration stuff about the person who posted before you using the first letter of their screenname. That fell down slightly though when I used the word "lecherous" and someone thought I was making a jab at them.