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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - General Chat - Does politeness = dishonesty |
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Are polite/pc people being dishonest?| Yes |
28.6%, 6 votes | No |
71.4%, 15 votes | Multi-voting is disabled. 21 users have voted.
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon                   Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6486 days Last view: 6471 days |
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| Well, to try and make an akward situation a bit less akward..
I don't think that being polite is being dishonest. I think that you can let someone know that you don't care for them in a polite way. Getting it out there in the open isn't exactly not polite. I think it'd more polite to let someone know that you don't like them... if it's absolutely necessary. Most of the time I don't feel it's necessary for me to tell someone that I don't care for them... I mean if you don't.. then you obviously aren't close friends with them.. so it doesn't matter. That's not lying, it's just indifference that your opinion would actually make a difference if it were out there in the open. Opinions are good to have about ideas and whatnot... I say stand up for what you believe in all the time. But you've got to realize that telling someone that you hate them is a generally shallow statement. It has no meat to it. It's like saying.. "Grrr.. that crayon is yellow!". My point? It doesn't seem to matter so much.. because it doesn't address a real problem. If it's the case where one of your best friends is annoying you in some way, by all means.. go for it. If you have a rational solution to the immediate problem. Saying "Grr I hate you!".. carries no weight.. and no solutions to any real problems. I can never hate someone to the point where I'd ever think of harming them. I don't think I can even effectively hate someone. There's so much to a person.. just because they've shown you their worst side.. doesn't mean it's their only side. But that's just me. (edited by Snow Tomato on 02-06-06 05:12 PM) |
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neotransotaku Sledge Brother Liberated from school...until MLK day    Since: 11-17-05 From: In Hearst Field Annex... Last post: 6467 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by ||bassYou are willing to do that because you do not have any dependants; I'm sure you'd think twice before doing that if you did have dependants. However, if you still decide to do it anyways, then that is your decision. So, I was alluding to those types of situations where someone should voice his/her opinion, but he/she do need to be careful of the repercussions that may follow.Originally posted by neotransotakuI actually have done this before. It's so worth it. So I guess, there is a time and a place for being totally honest. It seems ||bass you are advocating Kant's philosophy... |
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||bass Administrator  Since: 11-17-05 From: Salem, Connecticut Last post: 6466 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| There's alot to be said about Kantian philosophy. It's surprising that it isn't more popular in the current age. | |||
Sin Dogan   860  Uoodo Original Blend Armored Trooper Votoms Canned Coffee! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6469 days Last view: 6468 days |
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| Being honest all the time makes everything easier. Politeness does not really equate politcal correctness. Being pc allows people to fit things into a nice little package and then they don't need to explore other cultures. Which is a shame. | |||
Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| No.
You can be honest and polite at the same time, just as you can be dishonest and rude at once also. Honesty and manners are not mutually exclusive and to suggest so is... well, incorrect. Furthermore, it's usually to one's benefit to be polite when being honest. If you present a criticism of another person as politely as possible there is a greater chance that the other person may listen to you -- often a person's response to very harsh or rude criticism is not to listen but to get defensive or rude in return. Sometimes though you have to be blunt to get a point across, but that can be done without getting too rude (ie, insulting) as well. Personally I think it's best to act both honestly and politely in dealings with other people where possible, because I value the feelings of others. I would expect to be treated fairly, with openness and respect, and so that is how I treat others. And to be honest -- I have little respect for those people who are incapable of (or too thoughtless to) treating others with respect and courtesy. |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6494 days Last view: 6472 days |
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Originally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner I'll take sex over helping those fucking cancer patients any day. 8) they should have thought of that before they got cancer |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by windwakerOriginally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner  I'm not sure if this is supposed to be funny, but I find it in very bad taste. |
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Zem Permabanned. Flaming, trolling, reregistering. Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6788 days Last view: 6788 days |
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Originally posted by Tarale All the best funny things are |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by ZemOriginally posted by Tarale Not all of them. And that's another topic.... |
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| Bad taste is only funny if you find some sort of absurdity or disconnect.
For example, dead baby jokes are only funny if you think there's something wrong with hurting children. |
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Arwon Bazu Since: 11-18-05 From: Randwick, Sydney, NSW, Australia Last post: 6466 days Last view: 6466 days |
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| If you're *really* good you can be polite AND insulting at the same time.
Anyway, Bass, is this poll just because you're bitching that people closed the thread before you were done spouting clichéd libertarian slogans at everyone (and to be fair I'm on your side, the intolerance of heated debate at this site is absurd)? Or are you actually concerned that there's too much civility in the day to day interactions of people within society? Is asking "how ya going?" and saying "have a good day" after serving someone in a supermarket sucha bad thing? What's wrong with excusing yourself if you have to push past someone? (edited by Arwon on 02-06-06 08:51 PM) |
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Sion Im Back Baby!  Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| It is dishonesty, thats why I always tell the truth no matter how hard it may be. I just tells it like it is. | |||
Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6466 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| I think it depends on your reason for doing so. If you're being polite to make yourself look like someone you aren't, then yes it is being dishonest. Like, say, you're in an interview for the perfect job, and the manager's suit is ass ugly. He asks you what you think, and you say it's the greatest suit you've ever seen. That's dishonesty, and I honestly don't see how lying like that would help you in that situation.
But say... your sweet little cousin who's 7 years old makes you cookies. She's real excited about it and wants you to love them. You try one and it tastes like dog food. But you put on a smile anyway and say they're great, and she runs off all happy. That's not dishonesty, taht's just being nice to keep her from being unhappy over something silly like that. Sort of like white lies, I guess? |
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| I will admit that some people use politeness to obfuscate and turn to drivel anything they say. However, just like cholesterol, there's a good kind of politeness and a bad kind of politeness. The good kind keeps society from turning into a bunch of moody, ranting, raving barbarians, and has existed since the invention of speech.
It has been observed, after all, that the hurling of insults and inflammatory speech prevents and substitutes for -- rather than constitutes -- free and open discussion of ideas that would lead to a true revolution of one's mindset. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by Tommathy Indeed. I've certainly seen that happen when it's come to things like committees and such, which is another reason I prefer polite -- or at least respectful -- conversation. When it comes to that kind of thing in a work (or work like) situation, it's completely detrimental to getting things done. Not to mention people leave the work group because of the related hurt feelings and the lack of that sense of accomplishment as nothing gets done. |
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||bass Administrator Since: 11-17-05 From: Salem, Connecticut Last post: 6466 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by ArwonNeither of those are actually correct. This is honestly because of an incident with xkeeper that happened 2 or 3 days ago. Ask him if you want. I'm also not "concerned" with civility like excusing yourself if you push past someone. Maybe just "polite" was the wrong choice of words. I'm talking about being overly polite through the use of euphamisms and tricky linguistic obfuscations. Saying "excuse me" is one thing. Calling a 900 pound man "big boned" or calling an OLD woman "107 years young" is something else entirely. Normal politeness is fine, what worries me is when it turns into a grotesque evasion of obvious truths. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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| Well, in regards to the overweight and old lady thing...
With the old woman being however many years "young", you DO realise that when most people say that, they're not referring to that person's physical age, right? If you're calling an old person "107 years young" you're making a commentry on that they're still active, or bright and bubbly, or social, or whatever (despite their age). It's a compliment. For example, I have two Nannas, of similar ages. One of them I would describe as being "70 years young". The other, I would not. The first is bright and bubbly... she's active, plays golf, has a new husband, goes to parties and social events and is living a great, full life. The other... not so much. With the overweight thing, well, it would make me uncomfortable to just go "you're fat" or whatever, but I don't like the term "big boned" either. I'd probably uncomfortably (but as politely as possible) use the word "overweight". |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6494 days Last view: 6472 days |
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Originally posted by TaraleOriginally posted by windwakerOriginally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner Did you read the thread title? Normal politeness is fine, what worries me is when it turns into a grotesque evasion of obvious truths. Oh yeah. I'm all for this. FAT PEOPLE ARE FAT. (seriously) People are way too sensetive sometimes. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6465 days Last view: 6465 days |
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Originally posted by windwakerOriginally posted by TaraleOriginally posted by windwakerOriginally posted by Zamboni Ice Cleaner So I find your honesty in bad taste. I also think you're a very insensitive person, based on that comment. And people don't get to choose whether they get cancer or not, making your comment about "they should have thought of that before they got cancer" incredibly ignorant and stupid. And still not funny. How's that for honesty? (edited by Tarale on 02-06-06 11:43 PM) |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6494 days Last view: 6472 days |
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Originally posted by Tarale Ignorant and stupid. Watson, I do believe we have reading to do. |
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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - General Chat - Does politeness = dishonesty |
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