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11-02-05 12:59 PM
Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - - Posts by Cruel Justice
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Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
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Posted on 03-29-05 11:25 AM, in Scared Link
Ah, okay! With that bit of experience you should do just fine then!
Cruel Justice

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Posts: 757/1384
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

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Posted on 03-29-05 11:39 AM, in Pets you DON'T want Link
Anything that craps/pisses uncontrollably I can do without. Not that I don't like animals but most dogs will do that and look at you like, "Did I make a mistake?". Cats are well trained at that sort of thing but mine has had a few little accidents before. Little fuzzy turd factory!
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 758/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

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Posted on 03-30-05 03:50 AM, in Optimism vs Pessimism Link
Yeah, besides pessimism, in some indirect cases yes.
Ever been bored to death? There ya go! Would'nt that be great...
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 759/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 03:56 AM, in N00b guide Link
I ran into this earlier... very funny and true.
I think this was written by olliemaster13? Origin unknown. Very useful info.

Comprehensive Guide to Noobs
by olliemaster13
A. INTRO

I. What is this?
II. Defining 'Noob'

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

I. Noobish
II. Where to find noobs
III. Behavior of noobs
IV. Noob religion
V. More about noob habitats

C. AVOIDING NOOBS

I. Make sure you aren't one
II. Major noob avoiding strategies

A. INTRO

I. What is this?

This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

II. Defining 'Noob'

Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. Noobs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.

Top

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

I. Noobish

Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as noobish. It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

stFU /\/\an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b

Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

II. Where to find noobs

On the internet, noobs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies.

Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

III. Behavior of noobs

Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

Noobs have difficulty reading english and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

IV. Noob religion

Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

V. More about noob habitats

Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.

C. AVOIDING NOOBS

I. Make sure you aren't one

Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.

English (T4lk)-

Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.

Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337

II. Major noob avoiding strategies

The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.

Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.


(restricted)
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 761/1384
EXP: 1253266
For next: 60923

Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 04:24 AM, in Timesplitters Future Perfect Link
If you're a veteran TS player, you'll figure out the controls pretty well except there is a separate button to toss grenades with, I believe it's L1.
Toggling through weapons is kinda slow too, I wonder if you can change that?

Some spoilers below...











In the 1920 mission (aka mission 2) there's a part where Cortez meets with his future self on top of a grate above him. He says, "Hey! You up here!", "Wait, you're me!", "Here! Take this key! Be sure to pass it on when you're done!".

Later, he runs into his past self upstairs and says the same exact thing. After that he says, "Man! That was cool!".

The mapmaker I cannot say too much about since I had'nt the time to play PS2 too much. I may update this thread with a list of unlockables and perhaps a walkthrough if I'm crazy enough.

The mapmaker and the AI control will take some time to get used to. You have to push "O" if you want to change the settings. Also all your favourite songs, yes, ALL your favorite songs from past TS games are included! I'm trying to see if I can make a 3 story building without having to seal off the second floor.

There are 4 different monkey characters! Monkey fans would love Brains, Ninja, and Cyborg monkey.
Cruel Justice

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Level: 55

Posts: 762/1384
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
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Posted on 03-30-05 04:43 AM, in The crazy Master M is at it again........ Link
This face, "" is overrated and makes anything look like they just had a good wank. J-pop died when the first otaku freak spawned from the unholy tit of satan; lose the f*cking headphones unless it truly expresses your so-called "individuality".

I cannot say it's nothing I have'nt seen however. I'm being brutally honest mainly because there are so many hacks that have the same boring level graphics, if not levels in general and maybe just a little "modification" added on top such as, terrible colours, glitches, and NES-quality graphics.

Definately needs improvement. Shading can help you bigtime.
Cruel Justice

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Posts: 763/1384
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

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Posted on 03-30-05 04:46 AM, in Jaws Who? Link
See! That's why I don't take one f*cking step into the ocean. Terrible experience with the wildlife. It scares the living crap outta me and I'll probably kill the person trying to push me in as a "joke".
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 764/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 04:53 AM, in I Was Arrested Today Because I Said..... Link
-I swearz to drunk I'm not god! *hick!*
-Stop that man! He's stealing the donut truck!
-Wow! You gained weight since the last time you pulled me over!
-Look! I made a donut for you! *points at the tire mark*
-Suey!!!
-Is that your night sick or are you happy to see me?
-Do you know any spanish? The guys in back can't understand me.
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 765/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 05:17 AM, in 730 Calories Later Link
It's a heart attack waiting to happen... a deliciously evil one from the sound of it. Sounds pretty good.
Cruel Justice

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Posts: 766/1384
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

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Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 05:48 AM, in Death by..... Link
Will they have to unbury the body?
I would'nt want to but then again, I would'nt want a crappy funeral either.
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 766/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 06:05 AM, in Unexplainable Sickness... Link
Okay, this is a bad sign...
The bumps are getting bigger, I've lost weight, and I have weird white blotches on my tongue. I seriously think I may die within 10 years or less and I'm going under a state of panic.

I feel so morbidly sick!!!!!!!!!!!
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 767/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-30-05 08:31 AM, in Unexplainable Sickness... Link
Someone said I may have something related to HIV2. But I have'nt done anything that could cause such contamination. I called up my doctor not too long ago and he says it would be smart to check sometime this weekend. He says it may not be as serious as I think, as many epidemics common around the country have similaur symptoms. I still cannot be too sure, I felt very tired and lost my apetite about an hour ago maybe from reading symptoms but I seem to be just fine now.

I cannot be too sure so I'll set up a date soon. I'll have to tell my boss and professors that I may not make it tomorrow or the next day. Now I feel that being a total hypochondriac is absolutely necessary. In case all goes wrong, I'm going to apologise to anyone I may have hurt in the past. Now I regret almost everything and everyone I've wronged. Life is sweet, make every minute count while you still have them.


(edited by Cruel Justice on 03-29-05 10:34 PM)
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 768/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-31-05 05:58 PM, in New MudVayne Video Link
Hmmm, I've never seen any of their music videos before but I'm a fan of Mudvayne. I'll watch it when I get back from work.
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 769/1384
EXP: 1253266
For next: 60923

Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-31-05 06:04 PM, in 730 Calories Later Link
One of those things have almost twice the amount of calories of a 2 liter coke. Sounds rather filling and I hope to god that some gluttonous sow doesn't ruin it for everyone else by saying, "OMG! Fast food r teh suxx0rz it r maek me fat! sobsobsobsobsob! Onos!".
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 770/1384
EXP: 1253266
For next: 60923

Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 03-31-05 06:09 PM, in So I was playing scrabble... Link
Goddamn! Good show!
*claps and laughs really hard*
You never know what you'll get in this game and this is indeed quite amusing.
Imagine a childre'ns scrabble telling them the same thing. "Mommy? Doesn't daddy say this all the time?"
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 771/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 04-01-05 09:10 AM, in Unexplainable Sickness... Link
I cannot sleep because I cannot breathe at a subcontious level. I gotta get to a hospital now...


(edited by Cruel Justice on 04-01-05 05:28 PM)
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 772/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

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Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 04-02-05 10:39 AM, in That fucking does it! Link
Grey was a good member and I don't understand why he'd snap. I don't think he really got on anyone's nerves. I guess he was just being too nice. It would be pretty weird around here without him. Sorry this had to happen.
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 773/1384
EXP: 1253266
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 04-02-05 10:51 AM, in gay gay gay gay gayd Link
April fools is done... no joke, thank god.
Cruel Justice

XD
Level: 55

Posts: 774/1384
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Since: 03-20-04
From: Darkwoods Penetentiary

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
Posted on 04-02-05 10:53 AM, in what does acmlm mean Link
As far as I know, he's the guy who created the board as well as the type of board itself. Forgive me for my ignorance, but I know nothing more.
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