---

Originally posted by paradox

---

If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?

---

---

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

---

---

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

---

---

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

---

---

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

---

---

I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

---

---

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

---

---

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would
be if it didn't zigzag?

---

---

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.

---

---

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

---

---

Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?

---

---

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

---

---

Who will save the sane - Type O Negative
Periodic tableware
Psychotropic science fare

But who will save the sane?
Some beings just can't change
Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think isn't he strange

Pseudogasmic chemistry
Necromorphic apathy

But who will save the sane?
Some beings just can't change
Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think isn't he strange

Physical laws unapplied Hamper my quest
Unsurreal world of unfailed HIV tests
Der ubermensch warning of pi techno junkies - 3.141592653
Come on boy
Tell me
Tell me

Tentative ambulance date bound for G ward
Bear trap psychiatrist bait chew my paw off
Unmercilessly we will take you away to slumber
But only if you can recite avogadro's number
Come on boy
Tell me
Tell me

But who will save the sane?
Some beings just can't change
Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think isn't he strange

Now crawl on by
A fake tear in your eye
And think wasn't he strange

---

---

Waiting for the Miracle - Leonard Cohen
Baby, I've been waiting,
I've been waiting
Night and day
I didn't see the time,
I waited half my life away
There were lots of invitations
And I know you sent me some,
But I was waiting
For the miracle,
For the miracle to come

I know you really loved me
but, you see,
my hands were tied
I know it must have hurt you,
it must have hurt your pride
to have to stand
beneath my window
with your bugle
and your drum,
and me I'm up there waiting
for the miracle,
for the miracle to come

Ah I don't believe you'd like it,
You wouldn't like it here
There ain't no entertainment
and the judgements are severe
The Maestro says it's Mozart
but it sounds like bubble gum
when you're waiting
for the miracle,
for the miracle to come

Waiting for the miracle
There's nothing left to do
I haven't been this happy
since the end of World War II

Nothing left to do
when you know
that you've been taken
Nothing left to do
when you're begging for a crumb
Nothing left to do
when you've got to go on waiting
waiting for the miracle to come

I dreamed about you, baby
It was just the other night
Most of you was naked
Ah but some of you was light
The sands of time were falling
from your fingers and your thumb,
and you were waiting
for the miracle,
for the miracle to come

Ah baby, let's get married,
We've been alone too long
Let's be alone together
Let's see if we're that strong
Yeah let's do something crazy,
Something absolutely wrong
While we're waiting
For the miracle,
for the miracle to come

Nothing left to do ...

When you've fallen
on the highway
and you're lying
in the rain,
and they ask you
how you're doing
of course you'll say
you can't complain --
If you're squeezed
for information,
that's when you've got to
play it dumb:
You just say
you're out there waiting
for the miracle,
for the miracle to come

Ah baby, let's get married,
We've been alone too long...

---