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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - The 1,000,000th "there's this girl I like" thread. |
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Joachim Mole Level: 30  Posts: 331/358 EXP: 165561 For next: 308 Since: 03-15-04 From: Neo Kobe Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| Oh god, this is so embarrasing to be asking this on an internet forum... but yeah, topic explains it all. Anyway, I do know her quite well, I talk to her a lot, we give "friendship hugs" to eachother, joke around and stuff... and I've actually grown quite attached to her. I've known her since my freshman year in high school (I'm a junior right now), but I really didn't get to know her until my sophomore year. But here's where I'm stuck... I don't know exactly how to ask her out... I don't want to screw up our friendship or anything... am I too late? |
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Danielle Local Moderator  Level: 76  Posts: 2386/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| I'd rather try than forget about it and be asking yourself "what if" for the rest of your life. I'm sure you know her personality enough to have an idea of what she likes.. would she love a romantic thing, or a comedic thing, or a simple thing? Just go with what you think she'll like. Even if it doesn't work out, she'll appreciate the thought, and if you really are good friends, it won't hurt your current friendship by taking a chance. |
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Joachim Mole Level: 30 Posts: 332/358 EXP: 165561 For next: 308 Since: 03-15-04 From: Neo Kobe Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| Hmm... I guess you're right. If I don't do anything I might end up looking back from the future with "what if" boggled on my mind. Yeah... I'm probably just thinking too much of the negative side about it hurting the friendship. Thanks. | |||
Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76  Posts: 2350/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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I think the first thing you should do is prepare yourself in case she does come back with a negative response. Do you think it'd affect your friendship if nothing happened at all with it? It's good that you want to take this step to the next level but maybe you should just ask her what she thinks of you. Do you go out with her and friends as a group thing? You should  If not yet maybe you could suggest it and then you can hang out with her or something  then the next time ask if she wants to go with just you? There is that "what if" factor. Take a chance to see what happeneds. You'll regret it later..I've had many times like that  (edited by Bella on 09-13-05 10:01 PM) |
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Arwon Zora Level: 35  Posts: 467/506 EXP: 278115 For next: 1821 Since: 03-15-04 From: Terra Australis Incognita Since last post: 5 hours Last activity: 10 min. |
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| You'll find that the friendship will suffer either way - if you don't ask there'll be this angst, if you do ask, there'll be a different sort of angst. Either way you'll probably drift apart. It's a sad but basically inevitable outcome of this "I like my friend" thing. | |||
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 2393/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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Originally posted by Arwon I really have to disagree there. It's not always that situation, very good things can come from a solid friendship before a relationship. |
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Arwon Zora Level: 35 Posts: 468/506 EXP: 278115 For next: 1821 Since: 03-15-04 From: Terra Australis Incognita Since last post: 5 hours Last activity: 10 min. |
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| Yeah, I agree, it's a far preferable path to random dating and other such crapshoots... but I still say that if there's strong feelings there, and they aren't mutual, that tends to poison things whether one makes a move or not. It's a self preservation thing - desire and wanting mixed with the frustration and pain of the "Friends Zone" - the drifting apart is virutally inevitable. | |||
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Black Lord Level: 34 Posts: 432/453 EXP: 235639 For next: 18012 Since: 03-15-04 From: Nebraska, what's a Nebraska Since last post: 8 days Last activity: 1 day |
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| I did the flat out "So you wanna go out?" only more of a shy way... because I'm a shy person... so yeah. And she said yeah. Pretty much you can't screw it up, if the girl likes you and wants to go out with you, she'll say yes and if she doesn't she'll say no, and if she's a bitch, she'll pull one of those let's wait a few weeks. |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2363/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| Yeah, it depends on how close you guys really are. It could test your friendship and if it can withstand this. I don't like the "what if's" thing..then you'll dwell on it if you keep it bottled up. Either way, something will happen out of this. | |||
Snika Boo Level: 44  Posts: 666/916 EXP: 600678 For next: 10607 Since: 07-21-04 From: Freezing Cold Alaska! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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| Joachim, I find myself in the same position as you. If you really know the girl, I'm sure you'll know when the right time and the right place is to make any 'more than friend' advances, such as asking her out. I don't have much advice on this situation, but becareful. |
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Wurl 4.0 Level: 18  Posts: 29/244 EXP: 27558 For next: 2339 Since: 09-11-05 From: Illinois: Land of Eternal Desert Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 10 hours |
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| Holy crap, it's Joachim! I totaly remember you from Ragnarok. You should ask if she wants to fuck, jokingly at first, but take it from there. Worked for me. |
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mcw Red Paratroopa Level: 17  Posts: 80/164 EXP: 22756 For next: 1987 Since: 07-08-05 From: don't you want my a/s too? Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 5 hours |
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| don't listen to Wurl. he causes bad things to happen ;[ AND HOLY CRAP I REMEMBER JOACHIM FROM UZO'S BOARD 2 OR 3 YEARS AGO. he's the bastard that eventually led me here and brought me to tro but that's another story. xD anyways ralph just hang tough, i'm sure good will come of it. if she does then you'll be able to rock the bedsheets with her, and if she doesn't then you'll not be bogging your mind with what could happen. rock on.  |
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Wurl 4.0 Level: 18 Posts: 34/244 EXP: 27558 For next: 2339 Since: 09-11-05 From: Illinois: Land of Eternal Desert Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 10 hours |
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| I did ask a girl if she wanted to fuck, but in a joking way. She was all like "let's hang out Wurl", but then she got on my nerves. Though more recently, some girl is hitting on me, but I'm not sure if she's with another guy or not. Akward. My best advice is to joke around first, and test the water from there. Good luck with that Joachim. | |||
Cruel Justice XD Level: 55  Posts: 1263/1384 EXP: 1253266 For next: 60923 Since: 03-20-04 From: Darkwoods Penetentiary Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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| Ralphy, ask yourself, what have you got to lose if you didn't have a gf to begin with? IF it turns out she doesn't like you, you can easily find someone else, believe me. I said "if"... Come off to her as a friend just to be safe. From my experience, most girls don't like to be hit on by someone they don't know. Leave the big questions out for about 3 months to half a year. You have to build a foundation before you build a house and these are only the first steps. Throughout your friendship with her, you must tease her and joke around. I know it sounds acinine, but girls love it! If she thinks you're fun to be around, keep the 5-minute rule in mind. Talk to her about every day but only for 5 minutes a day. She'll want you more. After a week or two, get her number if you can. If you have a car, you can plan something fun to do. Know your locations and the best places to enjoy yourselves. There can be some minor obstacles though. If she talks to another guy, be polite to him, smile, and in less than a minute, ask the girl if she wants to do anything this week. Change the subject without sounding like a jerk. I'm warning you, if she laughs at what the other guy says and talks to him for about 5-10 minutes, you have a problem. If she does it about 3 times or more, you gotta bail. So she likes another guy, big deal... tell her this, "I know we've been friends for awhile, but to tell you the truth, I can be a real asshole... but who lies more? Men or women? I'll see you later..." That's not a cheap pickup line, it's a rhetorical question that will leave her thinking if she cares. It's a way of detecting whether she really likes you or not. She'll give you a clue one way or another, but it's up to you to determine that. When holidays come around, get her a gift... don't give her a gift every week or so, it'll show her you're weak. But be nice and give her a decent gift on Christmas or her birthday. Valentines is the best day for that... You should already have a clue what she likes. If you did well over the past months, good things will happen. I gave you some insight on what may happen in your relationship just so you won't freak out later... Just try to talk to her, you have NOTHING to worry about.  I helped give Black Lord advice, and he's got the girl of his dreams... what are you waiting for? (edited by Cruel Justice on 09-18-05 02:24 PM) |
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beneficii Lakitu Level: 36 Posts: 509/567 EXP: 299656 For next: 8454 Since: 06-27-04 From: Cordova, TN, USA Since last post: 14 hours Last activity: 6 hours |
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Originally posted by Bella I agree with this. Doing nothing at all is not helpful; you're friends and you need to be honest with each other. Just tell her your feelings if nothing else. If your friendship can't survive that, then maybe your friendship wasn't that strong in the first place. |
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Joachim Mole Level: 30 Posts: 346/358 EXP: 165561 For next: 308 Since: 03-15-04 From: Neo Kobe Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| Haha I totally forgot this thread... anyway... well, I was afraid it was going to happen, but she just isn't interested in me beyond a friend. Oh well, at least I can stop playing the "what if" game. |
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Wurl 4.0 Level: 18 Posts: 148/244 EXP: 27558 For next: 2339 Since: 09-11-05 From: Illinois: Land of Eternal Desert Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 10 hours |
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| I'm kinda' in the same situation right now, but I'm not sure of her real intentions. She's hitting on me, but I'm not sure if she's with somebody else or not. | |||
Shane -26- Ninji Level: 17  Posts: 63/239 EXP: 21382 For next: 3361 Since: 09-30-05 From: The Sunny SouthEast of Éire Since last post: 8 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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Originally posted by Joachim The EXACT same thing happened to myself very recently actually , but these things happen.I have a new girlfriend now  . You'll find someone even better, trust me |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2750/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Originally posted by Joachim YAY! Yup, now you don't have to dwell on those "what if's" You'll find someone you'll desire even more and she'll feel the same! That's a great deal, right? Wurl: Hit on her back . I'm sure you do. |
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Wurl 4.0 Level: 18 Posts: 188/244 EXP: 27558 For next: 2339 Since: 09-11-05 From: Illinois: Land of Eternal Desert Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 10 hours |
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| She got somewhat taken back when I hit on her last time, even though it was respectful. Oh well, it'll work out. |
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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - The 1,000,000th "there's this girl I like" thread. |
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