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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - Venting, cause this is utter crap. |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57  Posts: 1606/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| My mom is NOT getting help. She talks about it. She knows of a few places, but she never goes to get help. My mom is still on drugs, and there's nothing I can do about it. She's a pity party master afterwards to my brother, making him not help me move out. He trusts her still. She's lied to me every time she gets money. Today, she wrote on the Daffy Duck marker magnet-board that she went to the store.... She never takes this long. She lied again. I'm venting my butt off about this because I live in constant blunder. I feel that she is never going to get help. She's had millions of professionals try to help. She stops just for them, then when they close her case, she starts up again. Now its gotten worse and worse and worse ever since she took my 40 dollars worth of birthday money and returned my DS she was going to get me, and used the money off of them for drugs. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I am so entirely disappointed, that my stomach hurts. This is every day, and I'm tired of it. She's going to put me through this until I graduate High School. All I want to do is leave. I want to LEAVE! I can't though. It's like there's a demon on her back, and she's letting it be a part of her. |
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Danielle Local Moderator  Level: 76  Posts: 2124/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| I remember you saying you were going to move out ages ago. Why haven't you? Talk to your brother yourself, tell him you're sick of it and you want to move out, and I'm sure he'll help. She doesn't need you to get high or to get better, she's made that clear. It's not your job to put up with her weak and pointless efforts. Try talking to your brother about it, see what he'll do for YOU, rather than her. |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1607/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| I did. Many a time. He's like, "I'll see what I can do. I can't guarantee you, though." or like, "Mom loves you, you need to support her." Crud like that. Sure, Mom loves me, but it's either, I stay in one place and not starve to death, or she continues until we get kicked out of the apartment. I don't want to be dragged around with her any longer. We went through this more than once. FOR THE SAME REASON: She spends too much of her money on drugs. I can't even sleep a wink without worrying what's going to happen every night before she gets her checks. I bet my brother will be all "Oops! Sorry!" when we get kicked out of the apartment, and I'm in a stupid rule-ridden shelter again. |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.  Level: 73  Posts: 2454/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Well, I'm not sure what to do, but I'd be looking at finding out what kind of support services there are for people in your position. In all honesty, I'd be looking at moving out if you can. You need to find somewhere that is stable and safe for you to live, and I'm sure there are ways of doing it. I think that you also need to let your mother know why you're doing that too. Make sure she knows that you're moving out because of her, it might be the shock to the system that she needs to get herself straightened out. |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1608/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Oh, she knows..... She just won't let me. Power abuse if you will.  Kinda embarassing, but still.I still have high school. And I usually have some trouble waking up for school. And furthermore, she said if I move out, she would disown me. She's my only parent left, too. She doesn't want to lose me, but I can't live with this constant pain. I can do better with my own place, and still have money left over. As opposed to her, she somehow loses all her money when she spends it on "bills" and "groceries". She gets like...... a whole lot of money in checks too. So, I can only wonder what she spends all of it on. Aaron calculated once, and said I can make it on my own way better than I am currently doing here. (I forgot the dollar amount, but he gets significantly less than what mom earns and he's doing college!) |
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Tarale I'm not under the alfluence of incohol like some thinkle peop I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get. Level: 73 Posts: 2455/2720 EXP: 3458036 For next: 27832 Since: 03-18-04 From: Adelaide, Australia Since last post: 4 hours Last activity: 2 hours |
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| Your Mum shouldn't disown you if you move out, she needs to grow up and realise that her behaviour is hurting you. I don't expect she will unless something drastic happens though to force her to from the sounds of it. You need to look out for YOU though, not your mother. Your mother is a big girl, and she can look after herself (albeit badly from the sounds of it). She says she'd disown you, but do you think she really would? There's no denying that she'd be angry for a while, but it sounds to me like she'll get over it eventually.... |
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Cruel Justice XD Level: 55  Posts: 1184/1384 EXP: 1253266 For next: 60923 Since: 03-20-04 From: Darkwoods Penetentiary Since last post: 11 hours Last activity: 7 hours |
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Man, now you make ME feel bad...  I guess that's what empathy is eh? It sounds like you got it rough trying to get your mother to quit. All that seems to be left for the sake of you and your mother are legal matters. You should get smart on the law and how to negotiate with the big people. I don't know too much about the law but I'm sure you can come up with something worth your while. If she can't do her job as a parent, you should take care of yourself. If you don't grow up on your own, you'll be no better than her. I don't mean to sound callous but there's no other way. |
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Snika Boo Level: 44  Posts: 574/916 EXP: 600678 For next: 10607 Since: 07-21-04 From: Freezing Cold Alaska! Since last post: 2 days Last activity: 2 days |
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| Wow... This is a pretty big problem. I think at the point you described her as being, you cannot get her to stop what she is doing. You're brother sounds like the only way out at this point, so I think first you should really sit down and talk to him about why you don't like the way your mother is acting. If you can convince him into moving out with you, you two can sit down and tell your mother calmly why you are leaving and that you two think that she should really try to somehow let this behavior effect other people less. I really don't feel that this is the right kind of situation for me to give advice, but I know that communication is key, and sometimes our only weapon against greater forces. |
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 2173/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| His brother is already moved out, and has been promising him over and over that he'll help, but never does. He also said he tried talking to his mom, but she doesn't listen. Communication is important, but his mom is butting in and altering the way the situation is viewed. It's hard. I don't think she'll disown you, it's just an empty threat to keep you there. Your brother needs to see through her bull and help you, but I don't know how you can do that.. |
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Shyguy The Original Femme Fatale! Level: 57 Posts: 1616/1998 EXP: 1443008 For next: 42920 Since: 02-14-05 Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 1 hour |
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| Well, she said to me once I talked to her calmly, that if I can at leat prove that I can make it on my own, She will be less strict on me moving away. She didn't guarantee an agreement, but if I somehow prove I can live without the comforts of being at home with Mom (Computer, food, stuff) then she will feel I'm a bit more responsible to be out on my own in my own place. This might take awhile, but I'm sure it'll work. Besides, sometimes in her arguments about moving, she says stuff like, "He doesn't even like washing the dishes!" or "I cook for him! He won't be able to cook very much without me." Stuff like that. So, it'll be great if she runs out of those excuses. I'm starting by waking up for school, without being all groggy. (I'm not a morning person.) |
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Danielle Local Moderator Level: 76 Posts: 2189/3359 EXP: 3958078 For next: 47982 Since: 09-15-04 From: RATE Since last post: 3 hours Last activity: 3 hours |
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| You could prove it by cooking your own meals, doing your own laundry, washing your own plate after dinner.. start with the things she's pointing out. Eventually she'll run out, like you said, and maybe you'll be on your way. | |||
MathOnNapkins Math n' Hacks Level: 67  Posts: 2156/2189 EXP: 2495887 For next: 96985 Since: 03-18-04 From: Base Tourian Since last post: 1 hour Last activity: 32 min. |
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Originally posted by Stinkoman 20X6 Man, fuck her! What a crappy scare tactic. She fucked up, not you. Maybe moving out to a relative's house, such as a grandparent or aunt, etc, would help, if you have those options available. I don't think doing all your own things will help the situation at all. For one thing, it would make your relationship more adversarial, and it would give your mom more time to do drugs.... edit: I mean that doing all your own laundry, dishes, etc., will cause her to lose the only control she had over you, and will probably depress her and cause her to abuse drugs even more. Moving out would be a better wakeup call for her. Just remember, you wouldn't be abandoning her, she already abandoned you by indulging in such behaviors. (edited by MathOnNapkins on 09-05-05 04:40 AM) |
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Zer0wned Cheep-cheep Level: 17  Posts: 61/181 EXP: 21472 For next: 3271 Since: 08-16-05 From: Hermosa Beach, CA Since last post: 30 days Last activity: 30 days |
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| Personally, I'd disown her (if you can't actually do that I meant metophorically ). Back-and-forth cases are utterly hopeless. I knew a woman named Debbie, had both of her kids taken away from her, and DIED half a dozen times (revived by a defibrulator). Yet she still keeps going back and forth between pretty much every addiction you can think of. Wake up calls for these people rarely make them quit completely. I knew her kids, it killed them every time she broke her "promises". Ever since they gave up on her, they've been a lot better off. They live with their grandpa and grandma now. By the way, do you have any other relatives you can live with? Family is more likely to understand what's going on, and would be willing to lend a hand. As for all that "he doesn't even wash the dishes" bullshit, that's so fucking irrelevant it's not even funny. Even if you manage to do all the things she listed, the list will keep getting longer until she gets you at some moot point. Drug addicts are good for two things, making money off of as a drug dealer, and EXCUSES, and that's what she's doing, making excuses. Besides, it's such a small transition from having other people do your laundry and whatever to doing your own, it's really not worth mentioning. Another idea would be emancipation. The government helps you get a job, some money to live off of (if I'm not mistaken, it takes some of the parents' money to add to yours, like child support) a place to live, and you have some shiny new rights to go with it (keep in mind I don't know where you are, your age, or even all the specifics of emancipation, but I do know that it's a way to gain independance in a situation like yours, you should look into it). |
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