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| Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - Lost Section - K-T's club for the lonely hearted. |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57  Posts: 1561/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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| I'm gradually liking him more. | |||
Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76  Posts: 2450/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Oh, so you're still going through those stages?  Sometimes when I find out when a guy likes me I would probably gradually start liking the guy if he talks to me  . It's weird how things can work out..its good that you can find someone after what happened soon like this. I haven't had much luck with the guy thing. Too high of standards  (edited by Bella on 09-20-05 02:05 AM) |
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 1562/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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 Yeah I just simply just said screw those two guys who treated me wrongly and let that stay in the past and restart a new. Even though I'll still stay skeptical and careful about giving my heart out to him for a long while to come. It's funny that he didn't think I would know how to french kiss when we did yesturday. Well I had practice with that other Matt.  He asked me over YIM if it was ok to cop a feel now and I told him not yet. Right now I think we're abusing the kissing after just two days of being together. Bella you think you have too high of standards. I don't like the idea of dating huge people but I can stand to be friends with them seeing as I don't mind that. Matt D. used to be fat but now he's not that big like he used to be when I first saw him in high school. So my standards have went out the door even though he's goofy and I like goofy people as I love to laugh. |
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Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 617/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| *sigh* Another update on the now rather slowly-developing love situation at hand (in response to the "In a love-related quandry" thread), and a not-so-subtle one at that, taken directly from my Blog... ________________________________________________________________________ (Depressed mode: On) [and yes, I DO have a rather unique "style" of posting when talking about these sorts of things] Oh dear... why is it that I mess up at everything? I know I'm a bit late at trying to bring out the kind of aspiration that I've been meaning to do for some time, but nonetheless I've still been trying to start friendly conversations with her and trying to maintain a good, strong friendship... to little or no avail. Next thing I know, I'm being told how I've kinda been "bugging" her with these sorts of comments, I'm not even going to get into them when, first of all, I've seen/read people saying the same things about her (even some of her male friends) so it's not just me, and that was during her pre-boyfriend era. I haven't said or done anything like that since, not in school, and yet I'm still told how I've been kinda giving her... well, more than what she wanted, I'll put it to you that way. I've been told of this when 90% of the time I'm out in the open, trying to think of what to say to her/talk to her about, generating little more than a few lines over to her most of the time. I know it's always good to have nice long, thoroughbred conversations with friends, and it's what they want out of their friends, but unfortunately, that's all I could give. For some reason (and that might have been it) I feel like my fragile and shyness has been getting the best of me in such endaveurs, be it friendly or "over" friendly, which that's basically over with now. This has always been the case for me when it comes to this. It's not the fact that my own Dad went out of his way to intrude on my personal life to tell me this which makes me sad, its the fact that I'm supposedly trying yet failing on virtually any aspect which is getting me down. I know I said I wouldn't give up on her, I never wanted to from the start even after I found out that she had a bf, but if all of a sudden, I'm "failing" her (which in turn means that I've failed myself), then I think that, sooner or later, it's only right if I do, and by that, I mean give up on the relationship status altogether. I've been contemplating it for some time; every time's always left the same result, and this is no different (the only difference is: she never said or did anything to hurt me mentally or physically; it's the impression I'm supposedly leaving her). I guess being a nice, respectable guy comes at a price, one that outweighs anything I have to offer for it. Incompetence has literally been killing me on this front, and it's been eating me up, to the point where I just don't know what to do. Every man can only take so much punishment... before he's down on his last knees, after all. When a man has sustained so many injuries (an athlete, if you will), does this athlete continue to play the sport he loves at the cost of being maimed, beaten, and battered, spilling all the blood just for it, or does he throw in the towel before he receives the "next big hit"? This is the type of comparison I am in right now; I've suffered so much mentally from this, that I don't know if I should just quit or continue to work at it some more. If only she could see that I'm really trying with this, and that I'm not trying to get at her in any way. I'm doing all that I can to open up to her somehow, yes, even in a friendly way. As little or as lacking as it may be, there it is. That's all I have to give (for now, anyways; maybe if a lucky spark hits me I might be able to get something going, but for right now)... I guess some people really don't have the luxury of being sociable enough to tickle one's fancy, I might be one of them. But, the thing is, even if our friendship does go well in the end, there still might be reason enough to do the "unthinkable". The policy with me is, and always has been that, if I can't be with the one I like so much, that I would like it if we could at least be friends, but if I'm doing all that I can, only to have her displeasure rubbed in my face later on, then maybe it just wasn't meant for me, or something. I know it may sound sad or naive to think that of myself, but one thing's for sure: I'm not ruling out... well, "retirement" from this love business, I guess you could say. On the other hand, I received opposite news the other day from a couple of her familiars that she's been... well, talking positive things about me, and that was coming from a couple kids who weren't even aware of my feelings for her at the time... but at this point, I honestly don't know what to believe and what not to. I'm just a sad puppy lost in reality, I guess. I sometimes get this epiphany that I won't ever even have a family; no wife, no kids, nothing... I'll just be another sad face in the clouds, a sad man with autism. I feel like that's the word that defines my entire personality, that dreaded "A" word. I feel like that's the thing that's keeping me away from having the one thing I knew I could probably never have. Anyways, what am I listening to right now? Well, with a mood like this, it can only be one thing, really... Orgy-"Blue Monday" (edited by Seph2k4 on 10-20-05 11:20 PM) |
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Thayer Fuzz Ball Level: 38  Posts: 968/988 EXP: 349428 For next: 21019 Since: 06-28-05 Since last post: 1 day Last activity: 1 day |
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| So, out of curiousity, how many months have you been like this over her? | |||
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Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 618/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| For a month or two, and I get the feeling that it just may end there. I've been trying really hard to continue to *like* her, but lately it's been difficult. I feel like the more I try to even establish a connection in some way, that I'm only further seperating us two. She's made it clear (but only to me and a very select other few people) that she's not interested in anything more than a friendship right now, which is fine with me. It's just that I had to be reminded of how my instincts have failed me in the end, that's a feeling I may never get over anytime soon, and quite frankly, I don't know how much more of this I can take that is, if I ever could handle such an aroused thing. Even when the time comes when I can finally open up to her once more, who am I to believe that I may actually get it right this time being the shy, fragile, and mentally-weak person that I am? I'm starting to believe that I'm just not capable of this. It's just been too difficult for me... | |||
Scatterheart Panser Level: 29 Posts: 334/342 EXP: 143409 For next: 4476 Since: 06-06-04 From: Sydney, Australia Since last post: 17 hours Last activity: 4 hours |
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| If all seems helpless, and you want to give up on this, then at least show her what you've written about her on here and your blog as one last dire effort. Hell! If her finally knowing how you truely feel about her doesn't work, then I'm affraid to tell you that nothing else will. I'm sorry for your pain, man. I've been there myself. I'm one of the lucky ones though. Good luck! |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2898/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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| Don't give up with love, or even thinking that there's no one out there for you because there is. You'll have someome for youself one of these days. It doesn't matter if it's sooner or later, as long as you find her and you will. Do the best you can with her and since now she's just seeing you as a friend, well be her friend. Be the best friend you could ever be to a girl. Make her laugh when she's down, feel good about herself. Don't talk to her every day just talk to her when you feel is right. If you talk to her everyday or ask her meaningless questions she won't want to talk, especailly when she's in a bad mood. | |||
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Dark Vampriel Lynel "Life is just a dream on the way to death." Level: 57 Posts: 1638/1658 EXP: 1400355 For next: 85573 Since: 08-29-04 From: Somewhere..... Since last post: 2 hours Last activity: 4 min. |
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Originally posted by Bella That's so true! I can relate to that seeing as my last boyfriend I loved and told him that I wouldn't ever again. Now look at me, I have a boyfriend and I love him.  Less than a year to fall in love again. One that I attend on being with for the rest of my life. As I'm stuck with him. lol So don't give up and you'll happen to find the one for you when you least expect it. |
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Seph2k4 Bob-Omb Level: 39 Posts: 619/619 EXP: 376086 For next: 28685 Since: 03-16-04 Since last post: 6 days Last activity: 6 days |
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| *sigh* I guess the lone question that needs answering is... Would someone sit out in waiting, having to go through all this, just for a chance to once again open up to the one person they cared about most (in other words, someone who's already dating that they really cared about), who they could only dream of having, thus showing heart, or move on and try to find someone else, thus throwing in the towel? These past few days have been nothing short of painful for me, having had my fKitten Yiffers shoved in my face like that, but I'm not ready to give up on her just yet. After all these weeks, I realized that I just care too much about her to do just that. She said (very clearly) that she doesn't feel the same way for me as I do for her, but maybe that's because she's already with someone right now... or something (and I know she is). I feel like I need her now in some way, more than anything. Basically I'm left with the impression that I can't do anything that won't displease her. I want to be there for her when something happens that makes her feel sad or unhappy, so she can see that I really have merit after all, but I want to do so without being left with the notion that I'm only making things worse for her and not better. I solely regret not doing anything before; I tried everything but asking her out basically (which would end this whole "talk" thing one way or the other; with a simple "yes" or a "no"). Now I wish I would have. Now all's I feel is... loneliness... and depression, too. |
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Bella Ludwig Von Koopa You're Gonna Love Me Level: 76 Posts: 2934/2962 EXP: 3891483 For next: 114577 Since: 03-29-04 From: Groovy Way Since last post: 8 min. Last activity: 6 min. |
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Like we all said, don't trip over it. Talk to her every now and then to check on how things are going on for her. You can just ask her something like.."How's life?" or something like that  . How long have you liked her? I liked a guy for 2 years and still kind of feel for him now but I haven't seen him in years and he has a baby so be happy you're not in that type of thing. I threw in the towel for him long ago..because well we drifted a part and I think he stopped talking to me because I didn't go meet up with him to talk about something and he knew I liked him and vice versa. If you like her that much and think you need her in your life, be that good friend to her. So she doesn't know you like her or what? She might have some kind of clue that you have a crush on her but put it out there for everyone to see. |
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