Acmlm's Board - I2 Archive - World Affairs / Debate - Serious Topic About Suicide
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Kasumi-Astra
Posts: 902/1867 |
I feel the same way as Taryn. I am mortally afraid of doing something really stupid to myself that was final, yet slow. I know I'll come around, but if that ever happened after it was too late, I'd die a horribly sad death.
That fear has kept all serious thoughts of suicide out of my mind for three years  |
Uncle Elmo
Posts: 722/1062 |
I think that I was suicidal because in a strange sort of way I was happy with my life up to that point, I knew that I had had the happiest times of my life (which haven't been topped since, by the way), and that was enough. I also saw myself as a burden, my depression was like some black hole, dragging everyone down. Even though no one said it out loud, they knew it, and were sick of it. I figured logically that the best way to deal with things was to just rid myself off the face of the earth. I had things planned to a very disterbing degree, I had rationalised everything and it seemed to make perfect sense. In every time I planned it, they were methods in which I'd just dissappear and never come back, usually walking into the sea, or jumping of bridges into the sea or something like that. I wrote a short note to my family, apologising for my burden and wrote what approximated a suicide note on my blog(but something cryptic enough so no one would know what was REALLY going on, and tell the authorities).
I suppose you could say as I lost control of my life, the only thing I COULD control was my death, but in the end I didn't go through with it.
I still don't know why I didn't, I think it was just the overpowering fear of death that I had, and also the realisation that I had a lot to achieve, a lot of people's lives to tough and that perhaps THAT was my purpose.
Those who see Suicide as being "Weak" have never stood on that precipice, because untl you do, you can never see how determined you have to be to go through with it. It's a stupid thing to do, but when people are scared, their IQ drops through the floor  I don't think anyone could really had talked me out of it, I really believed it the most rational thing to do and that to think otherwise was just irrational touchy-feely nonsense.
My mood swings have stabilised a LOT, mostly through self discipline and recognising the signs when I'm going to get depressed, wethering the storm, I suppose.
Our lives are rich compared to others, and we should be glad for it, but you could argue that although we have things like famine, disease and suchlike under control, this society has become a "colder" place. making fun of others is now the norm, and making other's lives hell is seen as a joke. People are afraid to love and care for each other as THAT is seen weak, so whilst a depressed person seeks respect and comeraderie, they often find only ridicule. Do we have THAT great after all? |
Tarale
Posts: 459/2720 |
Yeah, I've spoken to doctors, and I've spoken to friends. Unfortunately, a few of my friends have made it blatantly obvious that they don't seem to "approve" of me being depressed (like it was a decision I made, and I had a choice in the matter), and I've had a few fallings-out with friends too. That, of course, doesn't make things any better, but the friends that *have* been supportive are worth their weight in gold.
And Legion -- *applauds*
That's how I think most the time. And if I wasn't crazy from time to time, it'd be all the time too Whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. |
Ran-chan
Posts: 4235/12781 |
Originally posted by ChibiTaryn
Might I also note the only time I have these little... "turns" is when I'm not medicated. In fact, it was the first one of these that frightened me enough to go to the doctor and talk about the way I was feeling. I had been on a cliff edge, with my car moments before. My car had been in gear, the handbrake was off, I was facing the ocean, there was nothing between me and the sea, there was nothing stopping me.
Part way through driving to the edge, I freaked. I guess I "came to" of sorts, realised what I was doing, realised how fricken close I got, and I FREAKED. I slammed the brakes on (too fast, it stalled my shitty car engine) and I freaked out.
I |
Legion
Posts: 2667/5657 |
Mmhmm!
You can't predict or say that you'll never get over something. You will. Guarunteed.
I had my episode of severe (at least I thought it was at the time) depression about three years ago when something happened to me. At the time, there was no forseeable way for me to get over it. I thought it would affect me for the rest of my life.
But not too much later, roughly six months or so, I was laughing at the whole situation. Laughing.
It's amazing how much your feelings can change on a situation if you'll only give it time. Just rough it out and stick with it, and you'll eventually be rewarded.
Life would be pretty bland and borish if EVERYTHING went our way. If something good happened to us, would we really care? It would just be normallacy.
"You can't have the sweet without the sour."
Everyone should know that life is just one big wave of ups and downs and you have to ride it as best as you can. We all know how life is beyond unpredictable. So by taking your own life early, you just sell yourself short. Who knows what you would have experienced had you just hung in there? You could have missed an oppurtunity which could have lead to one of the most happiest lives ever. And you can't say "Well, I know for a fact that nothing good will ever happen to me, that's my luck." That's bullshit. You can't predict the future. No one can.
And really now, how horrible could your life possibly be? All I hear is people bitching because they have too much homework, or not enough free time, or how their parents don't let them roam the streets until the wee hours of the morning, or how this girl/guy broke up with them and so forth. You have no idea how good you have it compared to other kids your age, especially in third world countries. They would kill to even live a fraction as good as you do.
But yet, they go on because they're content with the simple fact that they still wake up every morning.
If you stop to think about it for a second, being alive is the greatest thing in the world no matter what difficulties you may be going through or may have gone through in the past. The gift of existance is priceless because it's an oppurtunity for unlimted possibilities. To say that your life will always be bad is ludicrous.
If that isn't a reason to want to live, then I don't know what is.
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Sofie
Posts: 979/1210 |
Originally posted by Legion
It's pretty pathetic how someone would want to end their entire life span over something they would eventually get over in not too long a time.
Exactly.
And that's where the difference lies between emotional and physical pain; physical pain can be uncureable, but with the right support, emotional pain can be lessened and gradually 'removed'.
You can learn from emotional pain, whereas (serious, uncurable) physical pain most often is caused by something you had no control over. ofcourse, you can learn from physical pain aswell (don't touch a hot cookingplate), but I do believe that most of this pain you can learn from isn't permanent, like, say, losing a limb in an accident is kinda permanent.
I can't express myself very well right now, but I think the gist of what I'm saying is fairly obvious. |
Super Sion
Posts: 1569/2472 |
Originally posted by Legion
Originally posted by Sion Traydor
Because you will go to hell...and cause people around you to be sad. 
And what if there is no such place? What will become of you then?
Then you would have just thrown away your only shot at existance. |
Legion
Posts: 2663/5657 |
Originally posted by Sion Traydor
Because you will go to hell...and cause people around you to be sad.
And what if there is no such place? What will become of you then? |
Super Sion
Posts: 1565/2472 |
Because you will go to hell...and cause people around you to be sad. |
knuck
Posts: 784/1818 |
You all suck for taking Skiff serious. >(
On the topic, why is it so wrong to put an end in something that's yours? |
Mariokoolguy
Posts: 37/56 |
Originally posted by ChibiTaryn
Originally posted by Valentine Revolution
*shrugs* I'm perfectly willing to admit that my attempts at suicide were me wanting the attention. I wanted to show that I was in pain, I wanted someone to rescue me. That's also why I cut myself, I wanted them to see that I hurt too. I did go on antidepressants for a while, they were some kind of serotonin blockers. That was really fucking scary, I had moments where I would just zone out, and since I worked with knives a lot, I'm so surprised I didn't lose anything important 
On the note of cutting, I have never cut myself, I have never taken really to playing with knives.
My thing seems to be heights, and vehicles. Like my example with the car -- driving a car off a high cliff, into the ocean. Standing on the roof of a city building. Peering over high railings, walking out in front of a bus. When I start feeling suicidal, the things that come to mind -- more or less flash into my mind -- are not knives. It's rooves, railings, buses, balconies, trains and cliff-faces. 
For whatever reason, my mind picks out things that are fast, violent, and (most likely) final.
I don't want something to be final. I don't want to die. So I hope that I never *really* lose the plot, because I am terrified of what might happen if I do -- the way my suicidal mind works doesn't give me much room for second chances at living.
Same as chibitaryn. Scared of heights but i would never cut myself scared of dying yes
i dont ever want to die i want to live forever that is possible if heaven IS real. |
Crystal Shards
Posts: 107/126 |
Without actually wanting to scare anyone, I attempted it a night or two ago... Not just the cry for attention, either. At first I was thinking about that- the cry, that is- but when it came down to the knife in my hand I really actually tried to end it all.
Bwah.
I'm lucky I have thick skin 'cause I don't really want to die right now, I just did at the moment.
Depression is... Depressing.
But anyway, yeah, so, I dunno. I'm just going through a lot of problems right now, can't work 'cause of panic attacks, facing imminant eviction 'cause I can't pay my rent 'cause I can't work, et cetera, et cetera... And a million other things.
Suicide is not done by people who are weak, it takes a fucking LOT to hack at yourself with a knife. I don't approve of Angsty McTeenagers who fucking off themselves 'cause their boyfriend dumped them or some stupid shit like that (which is sadly far too common), but if the circumstances of your life really do suck to a breaking point... Well, you'd better be ready to face the end, but if you do it, here's to you.
Bwah. |
Tarale
Posts: 457/2720 |
Originally posted by Valentine Revolution
*shrugs* I'm perfectly willing to admit that my attempts at suicide were me wanting the attention. I wanted to show that I was in pain, I wanted someone to rescue me. That's also why I cut myself, I wanted them to see that I hurt too. I did go on antidepressants for a while, they were some kind of serotonin blockers. That was really fucking scary, I had moments where I would just zone out, and since I worked with knives a lot, I'm so surprised I didn't lose anything important
On the note of cutting, I have never cut myself, I have never taken really to playing with knives.
My thing seems to be heights, and vehicles. Like my example with the car -- driving a car off a high cliff, into the ocean. Standing on the roof of a city building. Peering over high railings, walking out in front of a bus. When I start feeling suicidal, the things that come to mind -- more or less flash into my mind -- are not knives. It's rooves, railings, buses, balconies, trains and cliff-faces.
For whatever reason, my mind picks out things that are fast, violent, and (most likely) final.
I don't want something to be final. I don't want to die. So I hope that I never *really* lose the plot, because I am terrified of what might happen if I do -- the way my suicidal mind works doesn't give me much room for second chances at living. |
Apple
Posts: 432/594 |
Originally posted by Daemon_nick
Originally posted by Apple
I hate when people state how long they have been depressed like its some kind of bragging right.
Originally posted by Apple
___________________________________________________________________
"You tend to forget, I'm a teenager, we know everything. "
___________________________________________________________________
no offence Apple, you do NOT!!!!! know everything
No shit, Its called scarcasm.
and I'm not going to waste my time replying to the rest of what you wrote. |
Valentine Revolution
Posts: 169/199 |
*shrugs* I'm perfectly willing to admit that my attempts at suicide were me wanting the attention. I wanted to show that I was in pain, I wanted someone to rescue me. That's also why I cut myself, I wanted them to see that I hurt too. I did go on antidepressants for a while, they were some kind of serotonin blockers. That was really fucking scary, I had moments where I would just zone out, and since I worked with knives a lot, I'm so surprised I didn't lose anything important
I sort of have those moments Taryn was talking about, but they're different in that my mind just shuts down. It'll start with something tiny, like I'll make some stupid mistake at work, and then I'll tell myself I'm not good enough, that I'm their last resort, that if I walked out they'd all my cheering, that I'm a whore and no man or woman in their right mind would ever want to even come near me. While this is going on I just seem to stop, I just stand there untill they shut up and I can get on again. |
Daemon_nick
Posts: 24/40 |
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST JUST PUTTING IN MY 2 CENTS WORTH. 
Originally posted by Apple
I hate when people state how long they have been depressed like its some kind of bragging right.
Originally posted by Apple
___________________________________________________________________
"You tend to forget, I'm a teenager, we know everything. "
___________________________________________________________________
no offence Apple, you do NOT!!!!! know everything, and it is not about bragging, it is about how long someone has had a problem that may affect them for the rest of their life. I know because i have had depression for a few years (no not bragging, FACT) people state this so people know just how serious this can become. I personally have thought about suicide so it is not something people like to "BRAG" about.
Originally posted by Skiffles
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I'm not wasting my time reading all these posts, but all I have to say is suicide is for pussies, and you're all pussies, so kill yourselves and stop these stupid posts. kthxbye.
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AND AS FOR YOU... YOU THINK THAT THIS FEELING OF DEPRESSION, SADNESS, DESPAIR, SORROW AND SUICIDAL TENDENCIES ARE FUNNY??? THAT THEY SHOULD BE JOKED ABOUT??? IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU, WITH WHATEVER GOD YOU MIGHT BELIEVE IN AS MY WITNESS, I WILL BITCH SLAP YOU UNTIL YOU CANNOT STAND STRAIGHT.
I would like to think that anyone who has suffers or has suffered from depression or suicidal tendencies would support this.
And ChibiTaryn I support you, and what you have posted, as I have had times like that myself
Originally posted by ChibiTaryn
__________________________________________________________________
"When I'm medicated, I don't lose the plot like that. I feel down, sure I feel real down. But I don't have the temporary moments of insanity I described." ____________________________________________________________________
I sometimes found myself scared of the thoughts I had just seconds earlier
Originally posted by ChibiTaryn
___________________________________________________________________
"Telling somebody that they're "weak" for feeling a certain way is not the best way to go about things. But that's pretty much what society does to people who are suicidal -- it tells them that they're weak. They're selfish, they're wrong, they're going to hell. Do they really need that, and is perpetuating those ideas the best way to help people who feel that way?"
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i understand this completely, society (in general not everyone) needs a good swift kick in its compassion and understanding centres
like i said srry for the long post just getting some stuff off my chest  |
Tarale
Posts: 456/2720 |
You know, in some ways, two years depression *is* a little bit of a bragging right. I haven't injured myself or anybody else seriously yet... That's good, right? (Sure, I tried to kill my boyfriend, but... he deserved it  ) And I broke some china, but see, that's fun to do when you're angry 
|
Apple
Posts: 431/594 |
Originally posted by ChibiTaryn
Originally posted by Apple
I hate when people state how long they have been depressed like its some kind of bragging right.
And I hate when people make snide comments about depression as if they know everything.
You tend to forget, I'm a teenager, we know everything.
I lost close friends and family members because of suicide and I was on mediction and "suicide watch" so I know how both side feels. |
Tarale
Posts: 455/2720 |
Originally posted by Apple
I hate when people state how long they have been depressed like its some kind of bragging right.
And I hate when people make snide comments about other people and their depression, as if they know everything.
I mentioned the two years cause I thought Ziff's welcome was well.... kinda late 
Eh, as for preventing suicide, I'm guessing it's damned near impossible when it gets to the irrational point.... but maybe not putting down people that're like that would help...
I mean, if you think about it, going around calling people "weak" for feeling a certain way isn't good. You're not hurting the people who have already committed suicide by doing that -- but you're hurting those that may be feeling depressed and stuff. Rather than calling them weak, there has to be some other way to tackle it. |
Apple
Posts: 430/594 |
I hate when people state how long they have been depressed like its some kind of bragging right. |
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