User | Post |
DarkSlaya
Posts: 1777/4249 |
How did I noticed the last two. Great, as the others |
Kario
Posts: 497/2082 |
I think I'll just keep updating this thread with poems...
Ode To Air Air, you are so wonderful You give life to me Were it not for sweet sweet air I'd die instantaneously In my mouth and nose you go Down into my lungs Distributed to arms and legs So I can wave and run Air you are so magical You're everywhere I go I may never see you Except for when it's cold You give life to plants and things You'll always be around Until our Ozone layer's gone And life comes tumbling down
I thought I knew you No matter how hard I try Nothing seems to matter You never really notice The effect it has thereafter
I want to tell you the truth I want to tell you lies But no matter what I say You never seem surprised
You've heard it all before It's all the same to you No matter who says it It doesnt seem that new
Different Person Different Time Different Reasons Altogether But you've heard it all so many times It doesnt seem to matter
So now I quit, I cant go on You make no sense to me I thought that I knew you But only who you used to be |
Katastrophe
Posts: 78/187 |
You see? You must create an business. This poems is amazing!! |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 92/281 |
To me, the two are a good one. As a amateur in create poems, to me almost everything is good. |
Kario
Posts: 481/2082 |
That last one I kinda forced out of me, and I don't like that. I was actually inspired to write this one. Let me know which one is better.
Bring Back The Pain
A Picture Of Us Mom, Jon, And Me I'm the only one living The one of the three
Cursed with this life I must go on living While they walk the golden paths In the crystal sea they're swimming
I try to remember Who those two were The memory is gone Of him and her
I hid all the pain I cast out the grief It was too much to bare I needed relief
But when those things left me It seems so did they I want to bring them back again I want to bring back the pain |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 65/281 |
Well, it happens. Sometimes you discover in what you are good by coincidence. |
Kario
Posts: 479/2082 |
I never really thought of writing as a career. I never thought I was that good. I wouldn't know how to get started in that direction anyway. Thanks for the feedback guys, spread the word, get more people reading them. Maybe there are some other poets around here just hiding themselves... |
DarkSlaya
Posts: 1572/4249 |
You've got talent, alot of it. And I Like the third one best, by the way. |
KATW
Posts: 1707/3959 |
Incredible.
These poems flow, and have the depth and great emotional touches a poem should have. Ever thought about a career as a writer? |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 54/281 |
Looks like you have some talent on the poems area. Very good! Maybe I'll hear of you someday. |
Kario
Posts: 478/2082 |
I wish I did. Since this is still at the top, I will just put another poem in this thread.
Bring Back The Pain
Once I had a brother And a loving mother A faint and whispering memory They have now become
I tucked the pain away That final day of May I have now forgotten them My love for them is numb
Who was my brother Who was my mother I cannot recall There care for me seems vain
I want to recall The things that made me fall I want to remember them So please bring back the pain |
Katastrophe
Posts: 58/187 |
Yeah, I am your fan. Do you know some place that the peoples write poems and get money? If you know, go to this place! |
Kario
Posts: 477/2082 |
Woo hoo, I have two fans! Anyone else? |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 36/281 |
Originally posted by Kario
Originally posted by Mario Maniac Are you have written them?
I assume you are asking if I wrote them. Yes I did.
Oh yes, sorry. Nice job. At a long time ago I was have to make a poem to the school. I'm really not good with these things. |
Katastrophe
Posts: 35/187 |
You are a good creator of poems. Maybe if you write more, someday probably you will be someone famous. |
Kario
Posts: 475/2082 |
Originally posted by Mario Maniac Are you have written them?
I assume you are asking if I wrote them. Yes I did. |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 31/281 |
Are you have written them? |
Kario
Posts: 470/2082 |
Don't see too many poems in here, but I thought I would get some feedback...
My Birmingham
A picture on my wall Stares blankly back at me A clean and empty canvass That no one else can see No artist there to paint it Its me who fills the gap Within the edges of the frame Why cant life have a map To show me what to do To fill that empty space To start building my Birmingham With no regard to time or place A painter comes into my room He looks at me with knowing eyes He knows the canvass that he sees Is empty yet its mine Have I met her yet? Am I on the right path? He says I'll find out soon There will be no turning back A picture on my wall If I look close I'll see Shapes take form and colors flow That no one else can see
Falling In
The course of life Winding Waving Trying As if the Maker doesn't want you to succeed Along the narrow path Downed trees Muddy Rivers Deep Holes Holes, you can fall into them Holes, each with a name Pride Malice Greed Love All holes are escapable All but one Love The Deepest Hole What lies at the bottom Happiness Serenity Hope Peace Along the way I have found them all The Sins Of obstacles, I've met all but one Love I will shout it to the world When I start falling in |