| User | Post |
DarkSlaya
Posts: 1777/4249 |
How did I noticed the last two. Great, as the others  |
Kario
Posts: 497/2082 |
I think I'll just keep updating this thread with poems...
Ode To Air
Air, you are so wonderful
You give life to me
Were it not for sweet sweet air
I'd die instantaneously
In my mouth and nose you go
Down into my lungs
Distributed to arms and legs
So I can wave and run
Air you are so magical
You're everywhere I go
I may never see you
Except for when it's cold
You give life to plants and things
You'll always be around
Until our Ozone layer's gone
And life comes tumbling down
I thought I knew you
No matter how hard I try
Nothing seems to matter
You never really notice
The effect it has thereafter
I want to tell you the truth
I want to tell you lies
But no matter what I say
You never seem surprised
You've heard it all before
It's all the same to you
No matter who says it
It doesnt seem that new
Different Person
Different Time
Different Reasons Altogether
But you've heard it all so many times
It doesnt seem to matter
So now I quit, I cant go on
You make no sense to me
I thought that I knew you
But only who you used to be |
Katastrophe
Posts: 78/187 |
You see? You must create an business. This poems is amazing!! |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 92/281 |
To me, the two are a good one. As a amateur in create poems, to me almost everything is good. |
Kario
Posts: 481/2082 |
That last one I kinda forced out of me, and I don't like that. I was actually inspired to write this one. Let me know which one is better.
Bring Back The Pain
A Picture Of Us
Mom, Jon, And Me
I'm the only one living
The one of the three
Cursed with this life
I must go on living
While they walk the golden paths
In the crystal sea they're swimming
I try to remember
Who those two were
The memory is gone
Of him and her
I hid all the pain
I cast out the grief
It was too much to bare
I needed relief
But when those things left me
It seems so did they
I want to bring them back again
I want to bring back the pain |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 65/281 |
Well, it happens. Sometimes you discover in what you are good by coincidence. |
Kario
Posts: 479/2082 |
I never really thought of writing as a career. I never thought I was that good. I wouldn't know how to get started in that direction anyway. Thanks for the feedback guys, spread the word, get more people reading them. Maybe there are some other poets around here just hiding themselves... |
DarkSlaya
Posts: 1572/4249 |
You've got talent, alot of it. And I Like the third one best, by the way. |
KATW
Posts: 1707/3959 |
Incredible.
These poems flow, and have the depth and great emotional touches a poem should have. Ever thought about a career as a writer?  |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 54/281 |
Looks like you have some talent on the poems area. Very good! Maybe I'll hear of you someday. |
Kario
Posts: 478/2082 |
I wish I did. Since this is still at the top, I will just put another poem in this thread.
Bring Back The Pain
Once I had a brother
And a loving mother
A faint and whispering memory
They have now become
I tucked the pain away
That final day of May
I have now forgotten them
My love for them is numb
Who was my brother
Who was my mother
I cannot recall
There care for me seems vain
I want to recall
The things that made me fall
I want to remember them
So please bring back the pain |
Katastrophe
Posts: 58/187 |
Yeah, I am your fan. Do you know some place that the peoples write poems and get money? If you know, go to this place! |
Kario
Posts: 477/2082 |
Woo hoo, I have two fans! Anyone else? |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 36/281 |
Originally posted by Kario
Originally posted by Mario Maniac
Are you have written them?
I assume you are asking if I wrote them. Yes I did.
Oh yes, sorry. Nice job. At a long time ago I was have to make a poem to the school. I'm really not good with these things. |
Katastrophe
Posts: 35/187 |
You are a good creator of poems. Maybe if you write more, someday probably you will be someone famous. |
Kario
Posts: 475/2082 |
Originally posted by Mario Maniac
Are you have written them?
I assume you are asking if I wrote them. Yes I did. |
Mario Maniac
Posts: 31/281 |
Are you have written them? |
Kario
Posts: 470/2082 |
Don't see too many poems in here, but I thought I would get some feedback...
My Birmingham
A picture on my wall
Stares blankly back at me
A clean and empty canvass
That no one else can see
No artist there to paint it
Its me who fills the gap
Within the edges of the frame
Why cant life have a map
To show me what to do
To fill that empty space
To start building my Birmingham
With no regard to time or place
A painter comes into my room
He looks at me with knowing eyes
He knows the canvass that he sees
Is empty yet its mine
Have I met her yet?
Am I on the right path?
He says I'll find out soon
There will be no turning back
A picture on my wall
If I look close I'll see
Shapes take form and colors flow
That no one else can see
Falling In
The course of life
Winding
Waving
Trying
As if the Maker doesn't want you to succeed
Along the narrow path
Downed trees
Muddy Rivers
Deep Holes
Holes, you can fall into them
Holes, each with a name
Pride
Malice
Greed
Love
All holes are escapable
All but one
Love
The Deepest Hole
What lies at the bottom
Happiness
Serenity
Hope
Peace
Along the way I have found them all
The Sins
Of obstacles, I've met all but one
Love
I will shout it to the world
When I start falling in |
