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Main - The Landfill - Kernal and Katelyn's Rules of Baby Naming - 2nd Edition New thread | Thread closed

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Kernal
Posted on 03-21-07 12:57 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 12:58 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17666

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Keep in mind this is just out opinion; you may disagree.

KERNAL AND KATELYN'S RULES OF BABY NAMING

1. Do NOT name your child after a city, state, country, or geographical region unless it is also an established first name.
Examples
City: Madison, Paris, London, Timbuktu, Oklahoma City
State: Georgia, Virginia, Massachusetts, New Mexico
Country: India, America, Kenya, Uzbekistan
Geographical region: Asia, Europe, Central America

2. Do NOT give your child a name that includes a capital letter other than the first.
Examples: McKenzie, LaToya, JaShaKeeshakaah

Caveat to rule 2. Making the letter in question lowercase does NOT make the name OK.

3. Do NOT give your child a last name as a first name, unless it is also a well-known first name (such as Kelly or Ryan).
Examples: Monroe, Johnson, Hartford, Wiszniewski

Rule 3 is ESPECIALLY important if the child is female and/or the last name in question is that of a current or former U.S. president.

4. In English speaking countries, the ONLY permissible characters in a first name shall be A through Z. No hyphens, diacritics, numbers, punctuation, and for gosh sakes NO DAMN APOSTROPHES.
Examples: Anne-Marie, Zoë, GaShaJay'Nee'Shi'Ka

5. Children shall NOT be named after numbers.
Examples: Seven, One, Pi, Googolplex

6. Children should NOT be named after automobiles.
Examples: Mercedes, Lexus, Hummer, Oldsmobile

7. Children should NEVER be given names that are afterlives spelled backwards.
Examples: Nevaeh, Lleh, Yrotagrup

8. Do NOT throw together random letters and/or syllables to form names.
Examples: not needed

9. Do NOT select random words from a dictionary to form names.
Examples: Faith, Harmony, Squeegee, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

10. All names must be spelled correctly. Some names have more than one valid spelling, in which case you can choose the one you want.

11. Names MUST be used on the correct gender. In particular, PLEASE do NOT use male or masculine-sounding names on females. What's with this obsession with masculinity anyway? Contrary to popular belief, giving a girl a feminine name will NOT hurt their future job prospects.

12. Don't use a rare letter in a name just for the heck of it, especially at the beginning. Something like Alexander or Elizabeth is OK, because those are actual names that you actually see on actual people. Naming your kid Xerxes or Quintus just so he'll have an initial of X or Q is NOT OK.

13. Do NOT pick a name that has never been used on a baby since 1925.
Examples: Horace, Mildred, Bertha

14. Do NOT give your child a ghetto name, especially if you are Black. Naming your daughter something like Katherine or Claire won't make your kid magically turn White, so you can stop with the damn La'Keysha and Jhawntaivious already. (I don't want to be racist, but this pisses me off)

-Katelyn's additions-

15) Never name your child a Japanese name outside of Japan.
Examples: Kaori, Sakura, Midori, Satoshi

16) Never name your child something from a video game.
Examples: Sonic, Sephiroth, Coin, Link

17) Never name your child after any anime character.
Examples: Sesshomaru, Kagura, Kagome, Usagi

18) Never name your child after a Star Wars planet.
Examples: Kashyyyk, Tatooine, Coruscant, Naboo

19) Never name your child after a car part.
Examples: Check Engine light, Washer fluid, Oil, Coolant

GuyPerfect
Posted on 03-21-07 01:39 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 01:40 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17672


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Tarale
Posted on 03-21-07 02:07 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 02:09 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17677


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What about naming your children after fruit? Like... say..... "Apple"



Or things like Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

Or is this Celebrity's way of saying to their kids "Hey... you're gonna get everything you want in your life. But just in case you never get anything to complain about, I'm going to call you "Tallulah Belle"."

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BounderTower
Posted on 03-21-07 03:13 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17681


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What about "Guy"

I mean, nobody's gonna name a girl "Girl" so it just seems redundant.

And how's a Guy to know on what personal level he's being addressed in when someone says "Hey Guy"

Tommathy
Posted on 03-21-07 03:29 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17683


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Posted by Kernal

6. Children should NOT be named after automobiles.
Examples: Mercedes, Lexus, Hummer, Oldsmobile



Un-truth: The car is named after the girl. The girl is not named after the car.


Posted by Kernal

15) Never name your child a Japanese name outside of Japan.
Examples: Kaori, Sakura, Midori, Satoshi



How about names from outside of other cultures to other cultures? For example, should only Greek boys be named "Jason" and "Hector"? Or French girls "Claire"?

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Sgraff87
Posted on 03-21-07 04:07 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17686


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What about naming your kids numbers? It would be easy to keep track of which ones came first
Or how about pet names such as Fluffy or Spot?

blackhole89
Posted on 03-21-07 04:16 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17687


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Posted by Tommathy
Posted by Kernal

6. Children should NOT be named after automobiles.
Examples: Mercedes, Lexus, Hummer, Oldsmobile



Un-truth: The car is named after the girl. The girl is not named after the car.


Posted by Kernal

15) Never name your child a Japanese name outside of Japan.
Examples: Kaori, Sakura, Midori, Satoshi



How about names from outside of other cultures to other cultures? For example, should only Greek boys be named "Jason" and "Hector"? Or French girls "Claire"?

The USA and every other modern western nation's cultures are
(1) having Greek culture as an ancestor
(2) had a rather high amount of mutual exchange with French culture.
You can't say that of American and Japanese culture at the moment, though in two or three weeaboo generations from now, (2) might start being applicable.
Even so, saying Greek names in English are perfectly normal is an invalid generalization. Or do you see kids named Agamemnon a lot?

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Warpriest
Posted on 03-21-07 05:03 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17694


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Never name your kid a band name. Some parents in Sweden wanted to name their little girl Metallica. And the Swedish court approved!

Link

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Kernal
Posted on 03-21-07 05:57 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 05:58 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17710

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Posted by Tommathy


How about names from outside of other cultures to other cultures? For example, should only Greek boys be named "Jason" and "Hector"? Or French girls "Claire"?


Katelyn said that one, not me. I don't mind names being used outside of their culture too much...otherwise, all Americans would have to have names like Hiawatha and Sacagawea, right? Names like Jason and Claire are pretty entrenched into English by now.

Vyper
Posted on 03-21-07 06:21 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17718


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honestly i think this thread is stupid.

parents can name their baby whatever they want. it's THEIR baby, THEIR creation. they have every right to name that baby whatever they want.

so you think the name's unusual? get the fuck over it.

i don't mean to flame but seriously? wtf?

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Kernal
Posted on 03-21-07 06:24 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17720

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Why do people that flame generally not capitalize the first letter of sentences?

And it was just something fun I thought I'd post, because I get pissed off at the dopey names people come up with. Your kid has to go through life with their name and may even be judged by it. Don't take it so seriously.

JerryArr
Posted on 03-21-07 07:23 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17730


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Don't name your child after a superhero. This means you, Nicholas Cage.
Example: Kal-El

asdf
Posted on 03-21-07 09:08 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17759


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11. Names MUST be used on the correct gender. In particular, PLEASE do NOT use male or masculine-sounding names on females. What's with this obsession with masculinity anyway? Contrary to popular belief, giving a girl a feminine name will NOT hurt their future job prospects.

So what about names that can be used on both genders? What is your stance on those names?

Metal_Man88
Posted on 03-21-07 10:36 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17779


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Wait, no, this is genius. Just do the opposite of all the rules to create hilarious names.

Like

XanToyotaSeattleWashingtonIcecreamMcWindshieldWiperQuibble

Orrrr...

MariSephirocedesUltraMegaTripleBurger!

Kasdarack
Posted on 03-21-07 10:42 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17781


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Posted by Kernal
Keep in mind this is just out opinion; you may disagree.

KERNAL AND KATELYN'S RULES OF BABY NAMING

1. Do NOT name your child after a city, state, country, or geographical region unless it is also an established first name.
Examples
City: Madison, Paris, London, Timbuktu, Oklahoma City



I have to object.
Madison is quite established as a name. It was a surname before the city was founded. It's a common girl's first name as well. And the derivative "Maddie" is a cute name.

Darckthunder
Posted on 03-21-07 10:45 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17782


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So much for Roger McDoopliss.

Kernal
Posted on 03-21-07 11:39 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 11:41 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17802

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Posted by Metal_Man88

XanToyotaSeattleWashingtonIcecreamMcWindshieldWiperQuibble


It's gotta be tough to fit all of that into the "Name" space on most forms...

Also, "Madison" as a first name is a joke from a movie. It came from a street sign for gosh sakes!

Acmlm
Posted on 03-21-07 11:45 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17806


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Flurry
#&postrank&
About rule 15, what about Japanese families who moved out of Japan?

Posted by Vyper
parents can name their baby whatever they want. it's THEIR baby, THEIR creation. they have every right to name that baby whatever they want.

so you think the name's unusual? get the fuck over it.
True, but then for the baby, it's his/her name for a lifetime ... and if everyone is going to make fun of it because it's unusual, it's not going to make the kid feel good at all There was even something about this in the newspaper last year ...



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Ziff
Posted on 03-21-07 11:47 PM (rev. 2 of 03-21-07 11:48 PM) Link | Quote | ID: 17807


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This thread is full of loss and ignorance.

4. In English speaking countries, the ONLY permissible characters in a first name shall be A through Z. No hyphens, diacritics, numbers, punctuation, and for gosh sakes NO DAMN APOSTROPHES.
Examples: Anne-Marie, Zoë, GaShaJay'Nee'Shi'Ka


Stupid suggestion.


6. Children should NOT be named after automobiles.
Examples: Mercedes, Lexus, Hummer, Oldsmobile


Agreed, Mercedes is a human name though.

14. Do NOT give your child a ghetto name, especially if you are Black. Naming your daughter something like Katherine or Claire won't make your kid magically turn White, so you can stop with the damn La'Keysha and Jhawntaivious already. (I don't want to be racist, but this pisses me off)

Too bad, that is racist. I guess Muslims shouldn't name their kids Mummhad and I can't name my children Boris, Vladimir, Miroslav, or Svetlana.

Blackhole:

The USA and every other modern western nation's cultures are
(1) having Greek culture as an ancestor


Questionable at best.

edit:: and you can always change your name if your parents are stupid. I don't like my name. I'm currently in the process of having it re-Slavified. I hate having an Anglo-western name.

Kasdarack
Posted on 03-21-07 11:54 PM Link | Quote | ID: 17810


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Posted by Ziff
This thread is full of loss and ignorance.



Holy crap, I agree with Ziff!

=P
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