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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Find the Half-Truths! |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY!                    Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Last Tuesday, my girlfriend of about three months broke up with me, citing a lack of time, due to work and school (she does both full-time). By text message. (In her defense, she said she didn't have any reception.)
Thursday, a friend of hers who works at the Starbucks next door invited her to go see Borat. They do so on Friday. By all accounts, it went almost exactly like our first date... except I didn't give her any hickeys. She posts about this on LiveJournal on Saturday, and after she fills out a few more surveys on Myspace, it's clear she's dating someone else. Mind you, this is, by my math, five days after she dumped me saying she didn't have time for a relationship. Talked to her last night, and yes, in fact, they are. He mentioned they were, she said she didn't disagree. And did I mention she's been going on about the guy on LiveJournal and in Myspace surveys since? Let's not get into why I still feel like I should piss on her if she were on fire. I don't believe a word she says. As far as any of all y'alls can tell from this recap, any reason why I should? |
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Silvershield   580   Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6291 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I don't know this girl, but I do know my own experiences, and I know that what a person writes on MySpace or Livejournal or any other public forum is generally more honest than what they will tell you face to face. I can't tell you how many times I've caught a certain someone in a lie just based on casual, unsuspicious browsing of the places she frequents online. And, let me tell you, it hurts to read sometimes. (Then, of course, she becomes terribly indignant because I "act suspicious" and "spy on her." Silly girl, if you're innocent, why should you be afraid of what I might find? [Because you're not innocent, that's why...])
Dunno if that helps at all, but your post struck a nerve with me. |
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n3g-Z3r0 theory Rat Since: 01-09-06 From: Augusta, Ks Last post: 6321 days Last view: 6298 days |
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| Not to stoke the fire anymore and state the obvious but, she was merely using the "no time" as a bullshit excuse for breaking up with you. In my own personal experience. This was planned and they had most likely been conversing for the past week or maybe even more.
Though this may greatly convolute your understanding of relationships and how things are supposed to go, remember one thing: vengeance will not solve your problem. No matter how aggravated you become, there are still many other fish in the sea and if she was so quick to do this to you, she will most likely do it with this other person. She will do this with a good majority of people she will go out with the rest of her life and will probably die alone. If you can take any sense of appeasement in that; however, if you really liked this person, there is a chance that she will come back to you. The bigger question would then be: Will you take her back? If so, will she do the same again? Anyway, this is all based off of probability etc..etc.. if you want a quick way to get rid of the pain, do push-ups...  |
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| She lacked the emotional fortitude and social understanding to be honest with you, and thus your best solution is to pay her no more mind.
She is no longer worth any expenditure on your part, may she die in a fire. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Yep. Well, I'm not gonna go as far as "may she die in a fire" as per above, but the above is pretty correct.
HOPEFULLY she will actually have learned something from the experience, but whether she does or not is unlikely to directly affect you. One would hope that even though she could not be honest with you, she at least feels guilty enough to know that this was the wrong thing to do and will behave differently in future. |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY! Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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She doesn't feel guilty enough, as far as I can tell. Yes, she felt awkward explaining it, but, as you can imagine, that's not enough.  |
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Vyper Kodondo Raging Venom  Since: 11-18-05 From: Final Fantasy Fire Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| Want to really tweak her?
Find someone better and flaunt about it in her face. They don't like that. |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY! Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Vyper Thought crossed my mind, but she swears she told me the truth about everything. Only correction, really, was the distance factor. I'm an hour and a half away, this guy lives five minutes away and works next door. Still, she knows what she did. Guess who's holding the cards. Oh, if only I were the vengeful type. |
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Arwon Bazu Since: 11-18-05 From: Randwick, Sydney, NSW, Australia Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| When you get told something like "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "I don't have time/I'm too busy for a relationship" or anything like that, if you mentally add in the phrase with you it can often be much closer to the truth. | |||
Amanda Red Paratroopa Since: 03-13-06 From: Georgia Last post: 6322 days Last view: 6292 days |
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| That's so super annoying.
I'm sorry that that happened to you. You should stop talking to her.  If she can't be honest with you, then you really don't need those sort of people around you. |
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Schweiz oder etwas [12:55] (Dr_Death16); I swear, the word drama needs to be stricken from the dictionary, for I've heard it so many times, it will permanently be imprinted on my brain  Since: 11-17-05 From: Kingston, Rhode Island Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| You never struck me as the vindicated type, J. What good will citing her dishonesty do? I can't see her taking any more emotional damage than she already has, especially if she felt no remorse in splitting with you.
Still, I gotcha there. I got screwed over recently, myself. Fun stuff, but it's awwwwwwwwwright. Get yourself a blind date or something. You hold a lot of cards, but the paramount suit here is "available". Shake that studmuffin and show 'em what for and such. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I gotta say, if she felt no remorse, she either felt justified in her actions (twisted or otherwise), isn't that kind of person or uh.... well, I dunno. Slow to learn? Inconsiderate?
In any of those cases, is she the kind of girl you want? 
I guess at least it's better to look on the bright side -- and be happy that you've learned this now than later. |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY! Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| An update because why not.
* She continues to stand by the opinion that nothing improper was going on. Why should this matter? * Well, because this other guy apparently didn't even know we had dated until a couple of days ago. After he'd already asked her out. Seems they didn't bring up their personal lives during their cigarette breaks. * Listening to how they've been going... well, it really doesn't sound all that much different than how it was when we were together. * Besides, I can buy my own alcohol. I'm amazed he can even buy his own cigarettes. 
* (I'm 25, she's 21, he's 18. Bit of a jump, no?) * Everyone still wants the friendship to go on. Especially her friends. * (Hint, hint.) * Besides, the best revenge, if you ask me, is deeming someone Not Important Enough To Feel Like Shit About Them Seeing Someone Else. And having the knowledge that you would've dumped her anyway if she hadn't done it first. |
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spiroth10 Paratroopa Since: 01-28-06 From: USA Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I say you don't have a right to feel like shit until you are forced to accept the fact that you have never had a relationship, and probably never will, unless its with someone of extreme obesity or worse...
thats where I am right now, and I hate it (and myself) because of it. in short, if you could get one girl, forget her and go get someone else. it's obviously not impossible (for you). she was just trying not to hurt you, probably... sounds like she doesn't hate your guts. I've been in similar situations (though I was turned down with all of them, obviously) and I'm still friends with a bunch of those girls. Although if you really cared about her, it will piss you the f*** off and make you depressed when you see her. So it's pretty much your choice if you still wanna be friends, although I can guarantee it won't be for too long. eventually you'll both become distant and end up moving on. |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY! Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| ...uhm, what? If I've learned anything, it's that there's someone for everyone. I mean, you're 16. Back when I was your age (continues being ancient), one of my friends was in the same boat. Don't know if he had dated anyone then, but I don't doubt that he would have found someone. Seriously, obesity isn't THAT much of a turn-off. All of my past girlfriends have been bigger, and their weight was never a consideration. Of course there's going to be girls out there who think the same.
I don't think she was actively out to hurt me -- that was never a consideration -- but as you could see, it did piss me off. And this isn't my first dance, either. |
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drjayphd Torosu OW! BURNY! Since: 11-18-05 From: CT Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Just when I thought I was out, they keep pulling me back in. Let us start with a ditty from Avenue Q.
Schadenfreude! Making the world a better place... Making the world a better place... Making the world a better place... To be! Everyone I know seems to concur: she's a total bitch. And now, her store's closing. So while he's still going to be at Starbucks in their hometown, she'll probably be working 45 minutes away... the OTHER direction. So much for having any time for him. Is it wrong that I'm snickering a little at this? I mean, at this point, it's a total power thing; she wants to be my friend, but I'll only have time for her at my convenience. If anyone ends this, it will be me. (sigh) I should let this go, shouldn't I? |
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Shadic The Adventure of Link Perfect Member Since: 11-18-05 From: Olympia, Washington Last post: 6285 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| I say, enjoy the fact that you are the one with all of the cards. I would not want to be friends with her after what she did, and I do believe that she was doing things towards the end of your relationship. At least she bothered to tell you(Break up with you), seeing as how she never even mentioned your relationship to him.
Be strong, and stand your ground. Why should you try and be friends with her? |
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