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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Losing most of my friends. |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon                   Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| I'm sure most people here regard me as some sort of degenerate. Always arguing for the legalization of marijuana, and saying that things are okay in moderation. You'd be surprised to know that I lost most of my friends to drugs or alcohol, because they didn't practice it in moderation and were just in general, completely stereotypical stupid irresponsible teenagers with access to substances.
I still advocate the legalization of marijuana and whatnot though. I believe most kids who use do go through this stupid stage and for the most part learn what moderation is as they grow older. It doesn't mean, however, I'm going to be there for you unconditionally through this idiotic period. I've honestly always practiced everything in moderation. Once in a while. When I party, not every day... not even exceeding once or twice a month. My main focus is living life to the fullest and doing well in school so I can be successful and productive in the future. Now that I got that part out of the way. My friends are being complete stupid assholes. I haven't even talked to them in months. The day I broke contact with most of my friends was when a certain unspeakable act occured. They had all gotten drunk. It was summer and it was really hot outside. They wanted air conditioning but simply did not want to break up and go home separately. Obviously they couldn't go to a public air-conditioned place, or all crash at one of their houses because they were rip-roaring drunk. So what is their logical conclusion? To break into my friend Chris' house while he was on vacation. They broke all the locks on his back door, and when the door still didn't open they smashed through one of his basement windows and got in that way. Then they proceeded to throw a 3 day long party, not even bothering to clean up at the end of it. They smoked in his house, they drank and left bottles everywhere and a number of things were stolen including his Xbox360, $5,000 worth of sports merchandise, and little things here and there like axe spray and other petty small things. So when Chris came home from vacation with his family... this is the state they found their house in. And remember, all the people who broke in were his FRIENDS. Some of which he knew since kindergarten. A few police reports and dropped charges later, they're all mad at Chris for not forgiving them. These were my friends as well. All of whom I completely cut contact off with after this incident. And before you ask, no I was not there. I wasn't invited. They knew I would flip out and probably call the cops if I found out. After this happened I've literally had no friends. It's just by lucky chance my current boyfriend and I got together around this time. (Late August). I literally spend every day with him, and when we hangout with people it's always with his friends. It's not that it's not fun... but I just don't have the bond with these people that close friends have. I do have one friend. Krystie. She's the only friend I have that has any real ethics or compassion for her friends. I've stayed in touch with her but she's been so busy with life lately. She's taking classes in the city, she has a boyfriend, she's bogged down with school and her job... and her family situation has been completely and utterly horrendous. She just doesn't have that much time for me anymore. And I'm really lonely. I've always had friends. I don't want to sound cocky or anything... but I'm pretty amazing. Point blank. I'm fun to hang out with, I'm nice, I listen when people talk... and I truly do care about my friends. Even now I worry about my friends who completely scummed everyone over. I hear things like they're high every single day, drunk in school, talking badly about me and my sister because we can't find it in ourselves to trust them again... and I get really really upset. I worry for them and what they're doing to themselves. They have such great opportunities ahead of them... and they're choosing to be criminals by breaking and entering into someone's home.. and choosing to abandon friends because they won't justify their bad behavior. It's both sickening and sad. I dunno if there is any rational solution to this. I think I just needed to kind of admit it. It's quite obvious I need new friends. I need any friends. I have no one besides my boyfriend to call up and say "let's all get together and do something."... nobody to go to for advice or help or just like to giggle with. There are some things you can't ask your boyfriend for advice on.... especially when it concerns him. I'm not even sure you can build the kind of friendship I had with my old friends before they were party fiends. I've known most of them since 6th grade. We were like an inseperable happy family. It would take years to build that kind of bond. I know when I go to college I'll make alot of new friends. That's basically a year away. This is my senior year in highschool... and I have basically zero friends. It's supposed to be the year where you rent a limo with all your friends at prom, you stay with all your friends in the same room on the senior ski trip, you take the senior picture next to all your friends in a big huge happy group, you go on scavenger hunts and perform other mischevious activities with your friends... and I'm not going to have any of that. I've already made the decision not to go on the senior ski trip... because I have no friends to room with. And after prom I wanted to stay over for a weekend in Wildwood with all my friends. Now it's like... with what friends? And it's frustrating... I probably won't even really enjoy prom all that much without my friends. This may not seem like a huge gigantic problem... but I'm really becomming depressed over this. My boyfriend is amazing, don't get me wrong. Out of all the trash I've dated.. he's literally a knight in shining armor. He has something none of them had.. morales. He's just amazing and he protects me... he's my best friend and anything I could possibly ever ask for in a significant other. When I'm with him I laugh as if I've never laughed before... I smile as if the world will stop turning if I frown... but when I'm not with him I'm severely depressed. I cry. It's really bad. And my boyfriend doesn't even understand it when I try to explain it to him. He's never met most of them, and doesn't care to because of everything I've told him about them. He can't comprehend that losing all my friends was a big loss... he doesn't even understand that I really even had friends before we met. He probably thinks I'm just some big geeky loser who chooses to sit at home all day watching CNN. (Though it's true I've always been a geek, and I've always loved CNN... I used to have a LIFE.. I used to have FRIENDS and go out EVERYDAY... ugh).. So that just makes it infinitely more impossible to bear. The fact that someone can't bear this burden with me. I dunno. That's it I guess. This has been a novel, a rant, a tirade. Comments are appreciated if they're not inflammatory or insensitive. Thanks for bearing with me. |
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES  Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Wait til' you get to college, seriously.
At the end of high school I lost most of my friends to hard drugs...I got to university and I've made those friends that will last you for the rest of your life. |
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Young Guru Snifit   Since: 11-18-05 From: Notre Dame, IN Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| That sounds really rough and I understand that you want to have those friends for your senior year of HS but as was said before, wait til college. When I left for college I lost contact with almost all of my friends from HS, we just didn't put the effort in (and I regret that to some degree) but the people I've met in college are such deeper friends than all my friends in HS except for the few that I've known since I was 6 years old. The difference is that the people you meet in college are the people you live with, eat with, party with, sit up late and talk to, and in general just do everything with. There's really nothing quite like it. My two roommates, guys I've only known for about two and a half years (the last six months of which I've been 5000 miles away) are closer to me than anybody I know, even those few people I've been friends with (and hung out with everyday) since elementary school. So yeah, it's probably going to be really hard and I can't really telll you anything that can make these next handful of months any better unless you happen to find some people that you can connect with in HS, but once you get to college everything will change, because you will meet people and they will be the best people you'll ever meet in your life. | |||
Arwon Bazu Since: 11-18-05 From: Randwick, Sydney, NSW, Australia Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| I lost most of my friends from high school to the fact that I don't really like them or have much in common with. The other 3 I go to university with.
The sad fact is lives change and people drift apart and you can never go back home. The trick is to be open to new friendships, but it's surprisingly easy to just forget to bother being receptive to letting new people get close to you. I understand this gets worse as you age and most people barely make friends after about 30. Another possibility I've heard is that friends are something young people have and as we get older we shift towards a) romantic relationships and b) fewer but deeper connections. |
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Silvershield   580  Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6291 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Snow TomatoHeh, that's where I went for prom weekend  .
I can't really say too much, except to emphasize what Ziff and Arwon have pointed out. High school and college are totally different from one another. I know neither of them are American, so the system might be different in some way in Canada or Australia, but their points are essentially dead-on. When you go off to school, you'll have to make new friends, just by virtue of the logistics of the place. And things will be better then, especially if you can make friends with folks who live near your hometown, because then you'll have buddies to be with over breaks from school. But I know your problem is more that you feel like you'll be missing all the great senior year memories that a person is "supposed to" have with his or her friends. And that's kind of a rough spot. But, really, I found all those events to be overrated. The prom was fun, sure, but some people take it the totally wrong way and use it as a forum to display the public drunkenness, or just perceive it as a sort break in between bouts of binging. It was fun to be with friends at the prom, but at the time I was really concentrating on my girlfriend above all else, so that made it alright for me even when my buddies were off doing their own thing. In the end, you just have to understand that you truly are better off with a boyfriend who cares about you than you are with a boyfriend who cares about you plus ten rowdy, inconsiderate, criminal (to be frank) friends. It's easy for me to say, sure, but you really are blessed that you at least have a guy who will be loyal to you. |
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spiroth10 Paratroopa Since: 01-28-06 From: USA Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| screw your old friends. I just ditched mine on purpose. It can be a good opportunity.
they were unpopular -- for a good reason, I recently found out. They're all jerks. They insist that they're better than me (probably feel threatened because I am superior in every way)... also, they pick arguments/fights with me. One of them tried to fight me (physically) not too long ago. I didn't hit him back because he stood no chance, and I would have sent him to the hospital (or killed him... I'm waaay stronger!). So now I ditched those loser nerds and am hanging out with new people (I, somehow, manage to make friends easily all the sudden). I have no close friends yet, but I will soon enough. I'm basically hanging out with jocks now instead -- but hell, we don't fight. |
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