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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - Skinny women in the media and guys real opinions?? |
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Tarale    2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata                   Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| TV pisses me off. Movies piss me off. Magazines, the newspaper, advertisements, everything... pisses me off.
Pretty much all media shows this "ideal" of women being well... very skinny. There's very few media campaigns that don't - I think the Dove "real beauty" thing is one of the few that doesn't -- but just about everything else portrays fairly unrealistic and unachievable views of "beauty". Womens magazines in particular just seem to tell you that you must look and dress and everything a certain way or more or less leave you feeling ugly. Which makes me wonder, what do guys really think about the way girls look? I know some guys also impose the unrealistic expectations of beauty upon girls -- I've even seen some men call an already underweight girl "fat" because she didn't look like an airbrushed model. But I doubt this is really the norm... So guys... what do you think about girls bodies? Do you think that super skinny girls are the ideal, or do you like a woman with a bit more meat on her? |
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Skreename Giant Red Paratroopa  Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Bones aren't sexy. Period. If I can see more than just a few (like... elbows and whatnot, hard to gain fat on them), there aren't any "feminine curves", there are ANGLES.
...Basically, I like ones with some meat on them. I'm not so much for the extremely chubby ones, but there's a decent range in between where I could consider a girl to be very attractive if she didn't scare me off with her personality or constant complaints of being hideous. |
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Jomb Deddorokku  Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| You really want me to be honest? Well actually, I do like skinny women. To a point. If it looks anorexic then I lose interest, but other than that i can be attracted to very thin girls. But actually its not really the main issue of whether i'm actracted to a woman or not, i can also be attracted to chubby girls (as long as we dont head towards obese where the curves are all hidden beneath fat). Other factors are more important than skinny or chubby. The curves have to be there regardless of their size, at least in the hip/leg area (i care very little or not at all about breasts) and things like her face and hair are also important. Style counts for something to. | |||
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Silvershield 580  Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Not to sound malicious, because that is certainly not my intent, but whenever someone complains about the media having a detrimental effect on their self-image I can't help but feel disgusted. "The media" - what a vague, impotent buzzword that phrase has become - presents entertainment and information and advertisements and a bunch of other things, but how do they force you to dress or look or feel a certain way? I've been exposed to all sorts of "media" for all my life, I've seen that ideal male image and I've known forever that I hardly live up to it. I don't have chiseled, rugged good looks, I don't have a six-pack, I don't have any sort of fashion sense whatsoever...but who cares? Why the hell should it bother me?
Honestly, what Americans need to do is grow thicker skins and stop making themselves feel inadequate and then blaming it on that nebulous "media" that is the looming evil everywhere you look today. The media makes little girls become anorexic, the media is corrupt and unfairly influences politics, the media is ruining our citizens...it goes on and on. Instead of looking at that model on TV and becoming bulimic because of it, either take some action and find a healthy means to accomplish your goals, or sit around all day and stop complaining. Don't keep blaming this faceless, omnipresent "media." Edit: By "Americans," I of course mean "people in general," because Tarale is Australian...heh. (edited by Silvershield on 11-12-06 08:54 PM) |
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Sinfjotle Lordly? No, not quite.  Since: 11-17-05 From: Kansas Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| It depends.
Some girls can pull off the more realistic look. They're usually around 5'5"-6'0", medium build, and look better hovering around 150-170 lbs. Now, thin bone structure always looks better when the girl is thinner. Not to thin of course, but yeah. Big boned, rare big boned from the pictures I've seen of your Tarale you aren't big boned, aren't attractive to me. My brother likes them, but well, he's weird. |
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emcee Red Super Koopa Since: 11-20-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| TV, movies and mostly advertisements, have to occasionally change things around, or focus on a new fad, to keep people interested. If you look at pin-ups girls from a few decades ago, they show a rather different idea of what's supposed to be attractive. For that matter, just watch an eighties movie. The character that's supposed to be the most attractive girl in the school, that all the guys are after is rarely very good looking. Then, just look through a magazine now. All the models a skinny, pale, and flat in all the wrong places. Kind of similar to what was "attractive" in the 20s.
Basically, there is no reason to feel pressured to look like people in movies, TV, and ads. Because, as usual, that is a fantasy world. It has no bearing on reality. What's actually attractive doesn't really change, it's all hormones and genetics. |
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Kailieann Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I was actually reading an article a few weeks back that I think really hits the nail on the head with this topic. (Interestingly enough, the article started off being about the Jackass movie..)
No, most guys don't find rail-thin women attractive. Being super skinny is not directly related to attracting men, and women who believe it does are deluding themselves. Being super skinny is a status symbol among other women. And the thing is, while men may not be attracted physically to a woman because she's a walking twig, if she's the tiniest twig on the block, and enough other women envy her for it, men will be drawn to her simply because of her standing with other women. But, of course, there can only be one alpha female within each social structure, so unless that's already you, there's not much point in trying to catch up. Especially since, even if you're the local alpha, there will always be some celebrity higher up on the food chain. You're much better off attracting men (or women, if you prefer) based on your own merits than trying to win them by being a stick-figure with no personality. And for reference, I personally am very fond of petite girls, but there's a huge difference between being petite and being a walking skeleton. Every time I see a girl who's really skinny, I think "yeeesh, she looks like she'd snap in half if my grandma hugged her". Snapped-in-half women aren't sexy D= |
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Koitenshin +∞ Moblin Since: 12-24-05 From: Misery Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| I will have to agree that women's fondness of anorexia is quite sickening. I don't like my women fat but in shape. Curves work well on cars but better on women. If you want bones to be showing it better be your clavicle or you just broke something. | |||
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Silvershield See, this "the media", by which I was referring to advertising, television, movies, newspapers, and magazines in a general sense. This, and other women (as Kailieann mentioned) are where girls hear what boys supposedly "like" or find attractive. But you don't often hear from blokes any real opinions. I dunno if they just don't talk about this stuff in female company much or what, but generally as a girl, I don't hear much besides the occasional "such and such an actress is hot". There's also the staring at your chest when you talk thing, so I'm pretty sure boys either like breasts or I've dropped some of my lunch down there. So I was curious to find out if the images in "the media" are in any way reflective of real blokes real opinions on feminine beauty. I'm also mildly annoyed at "the media" and had a bit of a vent, because I do think that there's more to beauty than that very narrow view, nor do I like the method of trying to market a product by making people feel bad. But this doesn't mean you need to imply that I am a lazy, whining idiot with poor self-image issues. You said you weren't trying to sound malicious, but then you went out of your way to specifically single me out in your edit anyway... I'm really quite offended. I'll thank you to mind your manners in future. |
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MathOnNapkins 1100  In SPC700 HELL Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| He didn't single you out, he said "People in General," simply b/c his original statement "Americans blah blah blah" is incorrect in this context and probably in general anyways.
My opinion on the matter is that I don't want to date a fat girl. It does seem shallow but who wants a partner that won't take care of their body? Obviously there are some exceptions like certain medical conditions, but it's not like you can spot that on the street. It's also visually unappealing. As for skinny... no. I like boobs and if a girl is really skinny the chance of having decent breasts is pretty much out the window. Not to mention being really skinny is the other end of the spectrum of not taking care of your body. So I'd say to any girl who is concerned about her looks, that being skinny is not the goal, being in shape and having some degree of body mass is. But I also agree with Silvershield that girls are more vocal on this issue with the "media". Very few guys have the time or motivation to have a fully sculpted body like you would see in Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs. Does it affect us? Probably a little but we know that it's too much to hope for. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by MathOnNapkinsThank you for not misreading me. I was hardly singling Tarale out - I made that edit because I realized that the problem hardly effects only Americans, since I remembered that Tarale is Australian and so she is clearly at least one non-American who feels media pressure  .
In any case, I wonder if it's really fair to generalize the faults of the media onto all of men. Maybe TV and movies shouldn't portray rail-thin women as the only "ideal" women, but, honestly, I cannot alter my personal perception of beauty. If I don't find obese women attractive, I can hardly "change my mind" and start thinking they're beautiful just of my own conscious will (nor would I want to - what reason would I have, simply that they need a self-esteem boost?). As has been said plenty of times before, no guy likes a girl who literally resembles a skeleton but, by the same token, if a girl is grossly overweight then she is hardly attractive, either. It's not a conscious choice for me to find that heavy girl unattractive, and I'm not generally a shallow person, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't need even the smallest amount of physical interest in a girl in order to have any sort of romantic interest in her. The point is that it's not like the only girls out there who have boyfriends, husbands, or even just hook-up buddies, are the ones who look like supermodels. That couldn't be further from the truth. Girls of every shape and size can and do attract men. But it's not like a 5'3" 240lb girl is going to be hooking up with Brad Pitt. Just like I, as a short guy with a pot belly, will never find myself in bed with (insert popular movie actress). The complaint seems to boil down to the fact that an "ugly" girl cannot get with an attractive guy, not that such a girl cannot get any guys in general. And, sorry to break it to anyone, but that's how attraction typically works; not to put it into terms that are too clinical, but that old silly remark that a guy who is appearance-wise a "6 out of 10" will only be able to get with a girl who is a 6 or lower on that scale is actually fairly true, barring any outside influences (like the guy is filthy rich). It may be a crude simplification of human relationships, but it is real insomuch as no overweight girl is going to attract a super-attractive man. That's just the fact of the matter. |
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Kyoufu Kawa Intends to keep Rom Hacking in one piece until the end  Since: 11-18-05 From: Catgirl Central Station Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Elin won't believe I like her the chubby way she is, and this girl in my workhome won't stop whinin' about the media image.
Nuff said. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Well... the edit could have simply said "people in general" instead of putting me specifically in the edit, cause then it looks like the post is criticizing me. 
As for one reason perhaps why girls notice stuff in the media a lot, perhaps is that we know we're judged by our bodies a lot, by both genders. Girls are usually a little more subtle about it though. Guys aren't. They openly leer at me on the train, they try (poorly) to disguise their staring in the elevator. On my walk home every day, I consistently attract either a wolf whistle, yell or honk from the men driving by (almost daily basis). On a daily basis, I know men are looking at my body and judging it. Women judge other women's bodies too, but they're much much more subtle. And I've never had a woman lean out the window and shout "show us yer tits love" at me
I dunno if guys are as openly stared at and such like that, by either gender. |
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ibz10g Spiny Since: 08-10-06 From: Altoona, Iowa Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| I'm not into a paper mâché skeleton. I know everyone judges everyone, no question, but I think women are a lot more insecure about their appearance. As a guy, I don't spend 20 or more minutes trying to make myself look acceptable. Hell, sometimes I don't even shower on the weekends. From what I've experienced for a social status in my school, most girls are only popular by the guys judging them on their tits. No joke. There are some that have no personality at all, and everybody likes them.
So yeah, people are judging you, Tarale. You might get the jackasses who think they're good enough to shout vulgar things at you, but there isn't a lot you can do. To me, image isn't as important as personality, but it still plays a part. I won't lie to make myself sound any better. The only people who aren't going to judge someone on looks is someone who can't see. It's just the way people are. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by TaraleThe post originally assumed that only Americans are plagued by the increasing prominence of the media in determining self-image, but the fact that you started this thread is evidence enough that the problem is more global. If I just wrote "people in general" without any explanation, it wouldn't be apparent why such a change was necessary; instead, acknowledging that you are not an American explains the issue to the reader. There is no inherent criticism of you in that statement, and maybe it was phrased poorly to make you think otherwise. I thought it was alright when I wrote it. Anyway, the fact remains that everyone who is not a hermit is equally exposed to the effects of the media. Some people, for whatever reason, take that media message to heart and let it rule their self-image. That is unhealthy and, simply, kind of stupid. Like I said before, I see the Ideal Male in TV, movies, on billboards, in magazines, and everywhere else - I would argue that that image is no less ubiquitous than its female equivalent - but I haven't developed any sort of mental illness of inferiority complex as a result. I can see, quite objectively, that I fall far short of what the media hawks as perfection, but it doesn't bother me. Why should it? I'm not going to generalize and say that every person who becomes anorexic or bulimic or has any other problem is a weak-minded follower or anything like that, but there must be some common personality trait that causes such people to cling so desperately to these media images and try to impersonate them. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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I was just trying to state what it was that gave me that impression, Silvershield. Thanks for clearing that up. 
And I agree, the problem is more global. I'm guessing each culture has its own twist on the "ideal", but I'm sure there are girls everywhere comparing themselves to the pictures / video of girls about. However, I've been happy to see some positive, more realistic things happening -- like those Dove campaigns for "real beauty", and some fashion shows requiring models with a healthier (although still technically underweight) BMI. As for eating disorders, I'd say there's certainly more to it than what is seen in the media. I doubt the media directly causes many problems -- it might in a few people (ie, possibly younger, impressionable teens). A lot of people with eating disorders often also have conditions such as Clinical Depression. Many victims of rape/sexual abuse also develop eating disorders. I don't think the media is the whole problem, or even the cause of the problem in the majority of cases. But I do think that it's likely to reinforce things for people who have a problem. Another issue that was raised (off this thread) had to do with healthy women, which I think is important. Some of the women in advertising aren't healthy.... some even take amphetamines and other drugs to keep the weight off. And I'm also curious as to things outside of weight alone people For example -- build (ie, athletic), shape (ie, pear) style/dress sense (ie, do you find a girl who shows off a lot of cleavage attractive, or offputting?) etc. Some women are really fussy about their skin... but I think freckles can be cute. And do guys even notice a girl's hair? C'mon people, there's more to this than just weight |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I personally hate the fact that so many women feel the need to look like skeletons. There's nothing attractive about it.
Being overweight, while it does play a role in attraction, certainly isn't a deal breaker for me. Like SS mentioned in one of his previous posts, physical attraction is a must in a relationship. It doesn't have to be the top priority, but it needs to be there nonetheless. I may not be attracted to an overweight girl initially, but if I get to know them and like their personality, sense of humor, etc, then the attraction just sort of happens anyway. As for other female features (I know, I'm not a guy, but shhhh), I notice them. I'm a sucker for naturally tan skin and dimples, and I think freckles can be cute too. I'm not too picky when it comes to hair, but I certainly do notice it. As for style... this is where I'm picky. I don't find shirts that are 5 sizes too small attractive, nor do I like when girls keep their boobs hanging out of their shirt. Where's your self respect? Come on. And those short shorts that are riding up your ass? They make me pity you. My favorite thing to see a girl in is blue jeans and a cute shirt, there's really nothing sexier to me. (edited by Danielle on 11-13-06 09:53 PM) |
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Skreename Giant Red Paratroopa Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| ...Why does Danielle sound like a female me? Well, aside from the tan thing...
And freckles are cute. Very much so. I mainly just notice if a girl's hair is long or short, though... I rather like long, wavy hair. Brown is good. *shrug* I like ones who have the self-confidence to wear COMFORTABLE clothing over EXPENSIVE or POPULAR clothing. The sweatshirt-jeans look is nice, in its own way, as are plenty of other things. A nice laugh and an intelligent conversation will do more for me than any amount of money spent on cosmetics or clothing... I think my philosophy is more "I'll know it when I see it" than anything else. It's hard to just list things I like or don't like in a vacuum from anything that could be referenced. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Tarale
The fact of the matter is, this is not necessarily an issue with the advertising and media itself, but with the people who are made to feel inadequate by it. I'm trying to sum up my point now, because I've been quite wordy in my past few posts, but to put it simply: everyone is exposed to similar or identical influences - we all see the same billboards, the same commercials, the same magazines. Yet, some people are negatively affected by such things and begin to feel personally inadequate in comparison, while others (like myself, who I am using simply as a model and not because I am some sort of paragon) don't take it heart and can separate what we see in advertisements from what we really are. It's not as if I am superior or am making some conscious effort to do this, I simply have some personality trait that allows me to do so; many people lack that trait, whatever it is, and so find themselves affected by the media. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Originally posted by TaraleI love long hair, and am generally not attracted to blonds; dark hair makes me melt, and the odd redhead is wonderful, too. I won't go for a girl who is stick thin, just like most guys, but I definitely have an aversion to those who are significantly overweight. That's not a conscious decision, but a subconscious one; I hold nothing against such people, but am simply unattracted to them on a physical level. I really don't like excessive tanning, because I see it as a sign of vanity. If a girl has naturally dark skin, that's one thing, but if it is a purely Caucasian girl who is perpetually orange then I am immediately repelled. That's not to say I prefer ghostly pale (though there's something to be said for pale girls ), but unless you are somehow ethnically diverse (especially people of mixed ethnicity, like girls who are only half black [though I haven't seen many] *drool*) your natural tone should be enough.
Makeup is a turnoff. I won't fault someone for using it sparingly, but if you literally look like a porcelain doll because you're using that much then I want nothing to do with you romantically. I've known girls who can't leave home without applying it that thick, and though they would normally be quite attractive, the makeup thing is kind of a deal breaker. I don't know a thing about fashion, but I won't be attracted to a girl who is dressing like a slut. (Pardon the word, but it's a common enough term that you can understand what I'm saying, even if you don't agree with its usage.) That's not to say I won't lust after such a girl, but I would only be legitimately interested in one who dresses modestly. Even sweatpants and an old t-shirt can be pretty attractive - I'm not stickler in that regard. |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Silvershield Ah yeah, you make a really good point. I like *naturally* tan skin, not skin that is orange from going to the beach too often. I hate the beach. What I like is that natural mixed complexion that makes for a gorgeous skin color. I'm sure you all know what I mean.
I also agree about the makeup deal. To see a pretty girl plaster her face with a thick layer of eyeliner, powder, and a horrifying color of shadow... it just makes me sad. It's not attractive, it's just about as far in the opposite direction you could possibly get. I myself only wear a touch of mascara, and that's if I have the time in the morning. If I'm running late, I can easily skip that part of my routine and not think twice about it. |
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