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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - How to meet girls... (Not just whining this time) |
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spiroth10 Paratroopa                 Since: 01-28-06 From: USA Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6278 days |
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| Ok, I'm over it already.
I got turned down (well, not really just yet, but Im moving on anyways) and I just don't know how to meet anyone new. But this time, Im gonna change things, I just need to learn how first. Any advice is more than welcome. I seriously don't know the first thing about meeting people, and if I ever want to find a gf, I seriously need to know how. I was over-moping about things before, and I realize that. Im ready to act now, I just need to know how/where to start. the only girls I've actually tried for usually have classes with me, and I've run dry of girls I have interest in within that small group. Outside that group, and in the big bad world itself, I have absolutely no clue how to go about introducing myself to anyone. example - I see a cute girl in a store/mall/street/etc. what would I say to introduce myself/start up a conversation? or how about continuing afterward without seeming weird. Like, I ask her for some advice on which jeans look better -- what do I say next, after getting her opinion? would it be appropriate to ask for a phone # after a first conversation? if not, how would you continue on if you have any interest. How about hints to whether/not they have interest in you -- it's easier when you see the girl everyday rather than just seeing her once. I'm absolutely totally clueless here, and I know it's a bit pathetic, but this is stuff I really need to know. Not only to get girlfriends, but normal friends as well. High School won't last forever, and I'm behind without knowing such basic stuff already. 
I'm a handsome enough guy, with enough atheletic ability and intelligence to get a decent girl, I just need to learn how first. I never learned any social skills due to a... difficult past, so to speak, though I have no real problems now. (edited by spiroth10 on 10-29-06 07:47 PM) |
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Black Lord + Flurry    Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| Word of advice... you don't just randomly stumble upon a girl in a mall somewhere and talk to each other and start dating, you either have some common ground, ie. friends, work, school, etc.
I mean... any relationship builds off of common ground... I don't know what else I could give for advice. Edit: Don't go up to random girls places and introduce yourself.... that is a bad idea... unless you're both drunk out of your minds... but at you're age I doubt that is the case. (edited by Black Lord + on 10-29-06 08:58 PM) |
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ibz10g Spiny Since: 08-10-06 From: Altoona, Iowa Last post: 6324 days Last view: 6324 days |
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| Get involved. Do stuff at or after school. Go to concerts. That works just fine for me. | |||
Souledge Octorok  Since: 10-24-06 From: Limburg, Belgium Last post: 6383 days Last view: 6383 days |
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Originally posted by ibz10g I don't think that's any problem. It is the issue of the first contact. You can't know if you have something in common if you just meet them. Here's a hint: ask questions, keep firing and be interested. Ask questions about what brings her there in the first place. Then start asking her what she does, where she lives, her hobby's,... but keep the conversation light (small jokes, don't make it seem like it's forced). Whenever she asks a question about you, answer short, and switch back to asking questions about her. At this point, you don't matter. It's a known and proven fact, that when you ask questions and appear interested, you become an interesting person yourself for the other person. 2nd, don't go asking a number if you haven't felt the click, be sure the girl is enthousiastic and seems to be "into" you before you try something like that, or you probably won't get it. Another proven fact is: the first thing you say, ususally doesn't even matter, as long as it is not too ridiculous. The thing that keeps lingering in her mind is the conversation and how interesting you were ( thus, depending the question you ask). f.e.A girl once started a conversation about her shoes not fitting in her backpack, and it didn't even occur to me at that point how stupid such a thing is to say to a stranger. She just used it to initiate smalltalk... |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6388 days Last view: 6388 days |
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Originally posted by Black Lord + I actually completely disagree with this. It's great to meet people through common ground, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't meet people you just bump into. Of course, don't be the douchebag who goes to a party and introduces himself to every single girl (in sequential order of hottest to least attractive, they always do it in that order)... but if you see someone doing/with something interesting, that's a perfect conversation starter right there. Of course, just to let you know, when you do this the first time you will probably feel horribly awkward, come off as weird, and end up getting nowhere. That's just part of the process... you don't get good at something by never doing it. You have to practice. Being comfortable talking to strangers is something you have to practice just as much as a golf swing or a good video game. I was nervous as hell the first time I struck up a conversation with a random person, but then I started getting friendlier responses, which made me less nervous... until now, when I'm basically not shy or nervous to talk to people at all. I don't like to explicity ask for phone numbers, instead I just say "Hey, nice talking to you," and if I actually liked talking to her I'll add "Any way we can talk again?" That usually prompts contact-giving if she's interested. As for reading signs... I sort of suck at that, but this should help. (edited by witeasprinwow on 10-30-06 10:22 AM) |
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Souledge Octorok Since: 10-24-06 From: Limburg, Belgium Last post: 6383 days Last view: 6383 days |
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Originally posted by witeasprinwow wow tx, this is useful stuff! (edited by Souledge on 10-30-06 12:52 PM) |
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spiroth10 Paratroopa Since: 01-28-06 From: USA Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6278 days |
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| Thx for the help. I am pretty good at reading signs myself though. I know the way the human mind works to some degree, and thats why Im a master at signals/messages, lying, and knowing when someone else lies, as well as manipulation. but thats a story for another time.
BTW, I have a couple ideas on where/how to meet girls myself anyhow. Might as well share them. Wrestling matches: Not all of you are into sports, but wrestling is pretty popular where I live (and I'll probably be varsity this year) and LOTS of hot chicks come to the matches (probably to see guys rolling around in almost nothing but tights -- Im not embarrased, and in no way am I small. lol) All I have to do is win a match, and start flirting with some random girl to see if she's interested. Hopefully, if she is dating someone, it's the guy I beat. lol. Library: I'm into nerdy/smart girls, ok? don't know why, they're just my type. If I see someone I think is hot, I'll just grab a book similar to theirs, make up a back story for it, and ask if she minds if I sit near her. If she has any interest, I'm sure it will be obvious at that point. Malls: This has actually worked for me, and it was REALLY awkward. Might not work if you don't play sports, though. A year ago, I was waiting for someone outside a store, and I just sat in a bench. in about 5 minutes, I had like 6 girls crawling all over me. It was more than blantantly obvious they were ALL interested in me. At the time, however, I had no interest whatsoever in them. I also *happen* to have a good friend who goes to a private school... with very few people, most of which are single and female. I'm sure it'll work even better now -- Im a lot more handsome than I was a year ago. I can't think of any more right now, but I'm sure I can later. and about meeting people with common ground... The problem with my area is that it's a small town full of rednecks, retards, sluts (and full blown prostitutes), drug addicts, and losers. None of them have any interest in me because I am obviously not their type. I have NEVER done drugs/alcohol or even tried, Im smart, and Im a virgin because I won't sleep with anything on two legs. Ive HAD my opportunities, but I'd rather wait until I'll actually enjoy it... and not getting herpes is another thing to look forward to. hell, I had one dumb b**** mention how it felt to get her nipples licked in class today. then she was all like "oops, I didnt mean to say that". I then also got her to admit some 'things' she didnt want to -- she is a horrible liar. or maybe its just because Im really good myself. I also had a friend once who was asked if he wanted a bj for $5 while walking in a field. I'm seriously too high class for the girls in my area, and I'm glad they think Im the worst guy ever, because I feel the same about them. but yeah, I'll find someone. I AM a catch, it just took me this long to realise it. (edited by spiroth10 on 11-01-06 12:03 AM) |
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