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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Why does this always happen to me? |
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xXxHeadhunterxXx Goomba                  Since: 11-26-05 Last post: 6302 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| Forgive me if I sound whiny or over-emotional here, and I think I know what you might have to say, but please give me the benefit of the doubt here. exp For reasons noted various times on this and the old Acmlm board, I feel like my life is reaching a steady decline. Worse even than that, a living doomsday. I've been enduring some very hard, emotional times as of late, with sadness and depression, over a simple subject that just continues to get the better of me. It's like I fail once at it, and just as soon as I decide that I want to give it another shot, viola, it gets me again, and I really don't know why... is it bad luck? Is it a half-assed superstition? Am I somehow not supposed to have what I want, what I at times cry myself to sleep over? It's like, every single time I've felt feelings for someone... invariably they are soon gone right before my very eyes, sometimes before I even get the chance to act, and sadly, the latest roundtrip falls into the latter category. Okay, so I believed I've already made myself clear over my past failures, but this one literally irks me the most, as well as further proves my theory that, no matter who I go for, no matter what either of us have been through, no matter what I do, that I'm always gonna end on the short end of the stick. I guess, what I'm getting at, is that, recently I've begun developing feelings for a special someone out there, someone who hasn't had a huge history of b/fs in the past (which might've actually worked to my advantage... well not this time, and here's why), someone who meets my criteria, someone I've been friends with and had various AIM conversations with... well lately at lunch I couldn't help but notice how she was always talking to some guy during and after lunch whom I never seen her chat to before and how she never sits with her so-called "best friend" who, ironically enough, sits somewhere right near me at lunch. At first I thought they were just good friends, nothing more, nothing less... but it turns out (to my dismay) that they are more than that, it turns out that I've once again fallen on the short end of the stick. It just so happens that what I didn't want to believe as fact is (once again) true after all, they ARE dating, and it happened before I ever even got the chance to talk to her myself (in PERSON that is). I've once again failed on my part, only this time, I won't have the luxury of having someone who knows I cared feel sympathy for me, for I've never told her or anyone just how I feel (or FELT) about her; yes I've been very secretive about this, as I just didn't know who to tell, who to trust (if such a person even existed), but it turns out that none of that even matters. I'm now officially 0-for-5 (at LEAST, that is), and it's now worsened my already inpenitrably deep sadness over this subject. Yes in time I may get over it, but until I do it's gonna feel that much more crucial inside. Yes I am happy towards this girl, but I am also quite disappointed in myself and over my failures all at the same time. It's not to say that I don't have any more options left, there's 2 more that I have in mind, one of which I've already tried in the past and failed (who IS this new girl's "best friend"), but that was 2 years ago. Maybe things will be better this time around... the thing about THAT, though, is that there's some guy who claims she's already his and even insists that I don't EVER talk to her (yes, he said it to me, in those exact words), which actually hurt my feelings, even if it was a joke (which it might have been; I've known this guy since Middle School, and let me just say this: he loves to play these "mind games" with me). I've already been through way too much to be straight-up told that to my face... but will I move on and try somebody else (even her again, if I have to)? It seems I may not have an option. No, I haven't given up yet, but I have taken yet another big bump along the way. You all know what I'm talking about. |
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ibz10g Spiny  Since: 08-10-06 From: Altoona, Iowa Last post: 6341 days Last view: 6341 days |
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| are you... me? Insane how much that makes me think of my own shotty life. | |||
Vyper Kodondo Raging Venom   Since: 11-18-05 From: Final Fantasy Fire Last post: 6313 days Last view: 6313 days |
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| Get used to it. It happens to all of us. Girls (key word here) are evil creatures. Everything is one big game to them. As amazing as it may sound, there are a few women (again, key word) out there who have grown up emotionally. Thank the heavens for that slight reprieve.
But hey, that's what you get. If you like somebody you gotta go for it. Hesitation will only bring dismay. |
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Black Lord + Flurry Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6298 days |
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| Stop pussyfooting around and take a chance. It sounds like you're just sitting around in the shadows while all the others are taking the chance, putting themselves on the line and getting the girl. All while you sit in the corner and kick yourself for you past mistakes. A girls not gonna fall for you unless you give her some sort of attention, and AIM convos don't count as attention because talking to someone behind the mask of a computer is so relatively easy.
What I'm trying to say most, is stop whining about your life and go out and do something about it. Make sense? |
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xXxHeadhunterxXx Goomba Since: 11-26-05 Last post: 6302 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| But don't you see? The only time I was EVER able to get a hold of her was through AIM, and she knows and trusts that it really was me IMing her but that's beside the point. All the other times I could at least say that I tried, whereas this time around it happened right before I even had the chance to act (in PERSON that is, like I said). It's not that I didn't waste an opportunity, if it were there, I would've cashed in on it the first chance I got, but it wasn't. There was simply nothing I could've done about it whatsoever.
Anyways I'm starting to feel better now... but that might be because I'm trying to take away my pain, as in, stop liking her altogether (or in other words, just flat out get over her). I don't know if it's unusual for guys to all of a sudden stop liking girls when they find out they're dating, but this is the only way I might ever feel better (and I "stopped" liking all the other girls I've failed to get in the past for this same exact reason). Infact, when you find out that a girl you like is currently dating someone else and feel down because of it, that's pretty much your only option left, that or continue to look at her in the same way but further the ongoing pain (until she breaks up with said guy over time, which that won't be happening anytime soon, not at this day and age). I just find it downright impossible to continue to have feelings for someone you know you won't have a chance with, or neglects you for somebody else altogether, but like I said, I'm feeling a lot better now, and I haven't given up yet. I just desperately needed to get that off my chest. Otherwise I would've been completely force-fed with these emotions (for the day at least), which is something I refuse to subject myself to, ever, is all. (edited by xXxHeadhunterxXx on 09-08-06 04:53 PM) |
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Black Lord + Flurry Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6298 days |
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| Who says you have to stop pursuing, maybe just talk to her, not as a romantic interest, but just talk. IN PERSON. Just stuff like that, odds are she won't be dating this someone else down the road, so that doesn't mean you have to totally give up on her, but also don't get your hopes up... I may or may not know what I'm saying, but a girl I like had a 2 boyfriends before I finally got a shot with her, and now we've been together for 1 year and a half now. Did I give up, no, I still talked to her when she had boyfriends, but I also wasn't obsessed with her, so if I never would of got my chance, I wouldn't of been crushed. | |||
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xXxHeadhunterxXx Goomba Since: 11-26-05 Last post: 6302 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| That's exactly the type of position I am in. I still am and will continue to be friends with her, but at the same time I won't "give in" to her (so to speak). If there's another chance somewhere down the line I may cash in on it, but until then it won't be anything too serious. | |||
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Vyper Kodondo Raging Venom Since: 11-18-05 From: Final Fantasy Fire Last post: 6313 days Last view: 6313 days |
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| Or move on and try to get somebody else. It's school. There are LOTS of girls. So what if this one turned you down? Her loss, right? | |||
witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6405 days Last view: 6405 days |
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| I'm not gonna tell you what to do... But it seems like you invest a lot of emotions into people you like, before you really even know if they like you back or not.
Just... stop doing that. It's setting yourself up for hardships and failures. She went out with some other guy... It's happened to me before, and after they broke up I got with her. Just say "good for her" and go about finding some more girls for you to talk to. You're 18; you're about to leave for college anyways. If you go to even a medium-sized college there will be a fuckload of girls for you to talk to; If you go to a large one, more girls than you could possibly talk to over your 4 years in college. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. |
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Dr_Death16   970 Since: 05-07-06 From: Iowa Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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Originally posted by witeasprinwow I'd like to expand on the subject but I'd have to say that witeaspirinwow really had the best answer I could think of. However; allow me to reaffirm this last statement of his; I go to a public university, and every day I see every type of woman possible, there are so many that it isn't even fair. All ethnicities, races, personalities, loves, hates, trust me, college is perfect for what you need. There's little chance that, if you try, you won't find a girl perfect for you in college. Edit... Forgot an important word in there. Damn it. (edited by Dr_Death16 on 09-11-06 09:51 PM) |
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