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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Story Forum - Ask Teddylot |
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Teddylot Bouncy                   Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| The following conversation will be sub-woofed by THX like we know what that means.
Sir Teddylot: GREY! ... I'm gonna make an Ask Teddylot thread. DetectiveGrey: why? Sir Teddylot: 'cause I've always wanted one ... and I'm hilarious. Sir Teddylot: >.> According to the latest Kirbynite poll. Sir Teddylot: >.> Kirbynite polls are accurate with 0 error. =o Sir Teddylot: It's so accurate the fractional error's negative. =o DetectiveGrey: so you're basing it off of impossible statistics? o.O Sir Teddylot: >.> As crazy as it sounds is as crazy as it's going to be. Sir Teddylot: That's going to be the thread's catch phrase. One of the spare lecture rooms in the Acmlm Building was de-spider webbed and Endusted to prepare for the big event. Sure, a lecture room compared to the bigger-budget, full-blown stages used for bigger productions doesn't amount to much, but the Department of Story Forums was running a little dry on money as their original budget was cut in half to help provide for the dying Sim-Battle forums. Nevermind board economics for the gracious lecturer of the day, Teddylot, was seated on a large stool in the center of the lecture hall ... nobody else was there ... even the balcony he had built in case any Muppets showed up ... was empty. The teddy bear was hoping people would show up to his awesome session of awesomeness. After all, he made Zap and Twister paste up all those posters around the Acmlm Building to garner attention for his presentation the other day, and if nobody showed up, that would be a lot of work energy lost. Except for Zap, of course. Zap runs his life by displacement, which means he's doing absolutely no work ... every day. Ecclesiastical, I know. Teddylot continued to swing his feet back and forth on the large stool and waited for some random folk to show up and ask him random questions. He was prepared. He had a napkin full of witty retorts like "shut up, you're a douchebag" or "I think ... someone crapped on the coats" and then "what? I hope my coat didn't get crapped on" and then he'd blend into the abyss. 'Cause he was guilty ... and nobody would know. Great way to be remembered. Teddylot: Wait ... what? Why is the description ranting? And the doors and ears are open. |
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Kirbynite Phan Phan  I'm sick of being bogged down by homework!!    Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| All of a sudden, a kunai whizzed by Teddylot's head, and embedded itself into the wall. Attached to the kunai was a note that read:
"Dear Teddylot-- Is it okay to be grossed out by creepy crawlies when you are able to climb up walls yourself? -- From Someone in the Shadows" |
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Teddylot Bouncy Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| As nobody else wants to ask for advice or consent from the great teddy bear guru atop the mountain, Teddylot shall now answer the first question.
Teddylot: You can climb a wall? Seriously? That's ... pretty cool, I guess. Unless, that is, that's all you can do. Then that's pretty useless. Now, towards your question. No ... not because you can climb walls, but because you're a dude. At least I hope so. Guys aren't supposed to be grossed out by bugs. All you need is a good newspaper or a huge wad of TP and you gain a +52 in bug squashing skills. Ample power to give you spine enough to take on a bug. Now, the only case where you might bug out is if the crawlers are the size they are on Skull Island. But then again, King Kong eats those guys for breakfast. That and bats, but bats are more of a snack. |
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Sukasa Birdo Not quite as active as before. Xkeeper supporter Xk > ||bass I IP Banned myself! Twice!  Since: 11-17-05 From: Somewhere over there Last post: 6285 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| Suddenly the fax machine over in the corner groans, beeps, and creaks to life. Making lots of painful-sounding noises, the machine spits out a wad of paper onto the floor before bursting into flames.
Note: "Are you going to put the fire out? Oh, and how do you intend to bring notice to this topic?" |
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Forte.EXE When life seems to get bad, just suck it up and deal with it!  Since: 11-18-05 From: Singe City, Ajiina (Davenport, Iowa) Last post: 6287 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| The PET that just so happened to suddenly appear out of thin-air beeped with new e-mail. When opened, the following read as so...
"If you have a arch-nemesis who refuses to die everytime you kill the SOB, who at the end of a long adventure returns in a year or so... what CAN you do to permanently delete him? "That, and what to do if your friend had a bunch of whipped cream in his hair and topped with a cherry? Laugh manically or run like hell?" |
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Sinfjotle Lordly? No, not quite.  Since: 11-17-05 From: Kansas Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| A crude letter on rather crude paper fluttered in on a breeze. An extremely crude drawing of a stick figure man with a spear and two icicles hanging out of his nose with shivering marks on him stuck out on the paper. The note read:
Why haven't we fought yet? I feel like I've been waiting forever on this ship to fight you, but you aren't here. Did you really have to stand me up and wait until I made it to antartica before you said anything? |
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Teddylot Bouncy Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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Teddylot: Awesome, my first few fanmails. School. 
Teddylot scrutinized the letters intently as if he were reading them, but he really wasn't. The fact that the letters were upside down didn't help his case much. Non-chalantly, he looked around and tossed both letters into the garbage can. As for the e-mai, Teddylot read it and prepared to answer his second question ... ever. EVER! Teddylot: Nothing. He's your arch-nemesis. Your supposed to barely beat his rear, but he has to survive so that he could remain your arch-nemesis. What's the point if he's dead? Besides, I'd want to keep him alive just to beat him repeatedly and increase your win (ego) count. As for the whipped cream, I'd totally eat him. |
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Kirbynite Phan Phan I'm sick of being bogged down by homework!! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| Kirbynite, who decided to make a cameo appearance, picked up the letters that were tossed into the garbage can. After using a fire extinguisher to put out the fax machine's flames, of course.
Kirbynite: This is a customer service. You can't just toss out some letters, even if they're not worthy of being answered 
Kirbynite shrugged, and started walking away. Kirbynite: Oh, right.. question.. What's your preferred sport to watch? |
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Teddylot Bouncy Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| Teddylot: ... I can't answer fanmail. >( I'll have to send them a printed reply, I suppose.
To Sukasa: Thank you for your interest in the "Ask Teddylot" movement. Yes, it's a movement. It's the ATM. Your monetary donation of ... a piece of our own paper ... will be greatly treasured and put to work at bringing you a stronger movement and better questioners. Maybe even some famous cameos from people from all over the Acmlm Building. Thus, the entertainment, our reviewers, and our ratings will skyrocket ... all thanks to your investment in the ATM. It's thanks to readers like you that ATM is so prosperous. Thank you sincerely. Signed (but not really), Teddylot. To ???: Thank you for your interest in the "Ask Teddylot" movement. Yes, it's a movement. It's the ATM. Your monetary donation of ... a kleenex ... will be greatly treasured and put to work at bringing you a stronger movement and better questioners. Maybe even some famous cameos from people from all over the Acmlm Building. Thus, the entertainment, our reviewers, and our ratings will skyrocket ... all thanks to your investment in the ATM. It's thanks to readers like you that ATM is so prosperous. Thank you sincerely. Signed (but not really by), Teddylot. To Kirbynite: Pooh sticks! |
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Anya  Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6287 days Last view: 6286 days |
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| "What the hell is this?" Anya bends down to pick up what seems to be a skittle, "Oh! Piece of candy!" She then looks around the building. "Anyone home?!" | |||
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Forte.EXE When life seems to get bad, just suck it up and deal with it! Since: 11-18-05 From: Singe City, Ajiina (Davenport, Iowa) Last post: 6287 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| Sheesh, what is all that commotion going on in the hallways?
"FORTE! You sunava @&^%#! Get back here!" "You'll just kill me if I stop!" Forte cried out as he jumped over Anya, and Zero dodged from Anya's path, and continued chasing, weilding his dealdy beam saber. Also, she could see the hella of lot of whipped cream in the blond's hair, and a cherry that fell to her feet when he passed her, and the trails of cream the fell from the blond's ponytail. "No one... insults my beautiful hair and gets away with it!" "But it was Axl's idea, I swear!" He only yelped as he broke into a mad dash from a pissed off Zero. And soon the loud angry commotion, and not to mention all the swears running from Zero's mouth, vanished without a trace. There was also a letter addressed to Teddylot dropped at the door with a bit of whipped cream smudged on the letter-folded paper, and it read, "What should you do if you we're the victim or a horrible prank that resulted after a food fight at Maverick Hunter HQ's cafeteria?" - Zero (edited by Forte.EXE on 09-07-06 04:43 PM) |
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Kirbynite Phan Phan I'm sick of being bogged down by homework!! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| Kirbynite decided to stick around, being Teddylot's sidekick for the time being.
Kirbynite: Hey, you reploids. Don't goof around here. This place is just for question asking
He then clears his throat. Kirbynite: I've got another question... Pooh sticks? What's that? |
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Sinfjotle Lordly? No, not quite. Since: 11-17-05 From: Kansas Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| Ark walks in through the door dripping wet and shivering. He is holding Teddylot's response and looks incredibly aggrivated.
Ark: "Why did I have to wait months for you!? I'm cold, wet, cold, and tired! You couldn't at least had the decency to tell me to stop waiting! You jerk." Ark shivers some more and takes a seat, the floor becoming drenched where ever he goes. |
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Kirbynite Phan Phan I'm sick of being bogged down by homework!! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| Kirbynite leaned towards Teddylot and whispered.
Kirbynite: He's connected with Dracoon. And sorry, I've got another question.... Since you're kinda around... How do you feel about if Hogwarts returned?  (edited by Kirbynite on 09-08-06 02:44 AM) |
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Teddylot Bouncy Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| Teddylot sat at his desks in the depths of the semi-circle auditorium lecture hall. On his desk, were papers piled to the far reaches of the ceiling where the fan letters and improperly addressed "Ask Grey" or "Ask Danielle" letters were having nice chats with the roof tiles, sprinkler heads, and those fancy lights. The stacks of paper conveniently hid Teddylot from view as he did his best to catch up on the vast amount of letters sent to him over break.
The teddy bear adjusted his monocles and read over a handful of letters. He then set them down and began to write letters in reply. To Anya: I am currently home, yes. Beware, the skittles on the ground are most likely old traps I set in order to capture ravagging racoons and Waddler-Dees. If you find yourself hanging upside down or without a limb or two, that would be why. My skittles. To Forte.EXE: Poor grammar. Can't answer. To Dracoon's pal: I recommend ... a Noah. To Kirbynite: Sounds like fun, bucko. Get it started or ... I ... will. ((Not a threat.)) |
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Kirbynite Phan Phan I'm sick of being bogged down by homework!! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| Do you think the SF will forgive me if I concentrate my energy on bringing back posts from another board for Thoughtless instead of reviving stories that need to be revived? ; |
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Teddylot Bouncy Since: 11-17-05 From: *uploading new location* Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6284 days |
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| To Kirbynite: The SF Gods are not pleased ... however, they will allow the act for the sole purpose of bringing life back to the SFers. |
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