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ajstal8 Red Goomba                  Since: 07-11-06 From: The Land of EverLasting Boredome. Last post: 6028 days Last view: 6028 days |
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| This is a story me, Juga Juga and a few of our friends wrote a few years ago, decided to post it here. Note that when you read this, do not think we hate Mario, but it's still fun to make fun of him.
Behind the Moustache: the true story -Unleashed- Mario wasn’t always the happy hero everyone thought he was. In this documentary Luigi, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Bowser, Wario and many others will speak out. Yoshi: Mario is a menace! He destroyed my family and took me as a prize! Every time he rides me he spanks me to go faster! He also feeds me gruel! Can you believe he spanks me! Narrator: Ok that is enough Yoshi you will get more time later. Now you Luigi. Luigi: We used to run a simple plumbing business until he got his first video game. Then greed overcame him. He would hit me saying he has always been better than me. He went on adventures without me and soon became famous. But yoshi and I got our revenge in Super Smash Bros Melee! We beat him so hard he cried and cried! Narrator: Ok this concludes the first part of Behind the Moustache. Next time we will see into one of Mario’s video games! Hi!, were back to talk about Mario and his new video game, “Mario Sunshine!.” Yoshi: I hate his new game! Especially when Mario turns me into part of a ride on the Yoshi-go-round! I do all the work, while Mario goes to a secret level! And Luigi, how do you feel about Mario’s new game? Luigi: It sucks! Mario sued me for having my own game, “Luigi’s Mansion,” so Mario’s lawyer pushed me out of Mario’s new game! He did the same thing in Super Mario 64! I wasn”t even in the game! Yoshi: I had to stay on the roof of princess Peaches castle while Lakitu was making Mario 64, because Mario took my bed! He gave me green mushrooms to eat, not even washed mushrooms, while he ate all the fruit from my garden! We all know the Mario abuses Yoshi, but what makes Mario’s new game, “Mario Sunshine” a dud? Luigi: In Mario’s cheap new game,”Mario Sunshine,” the inhabitants of Isle Delifino (were Mario secretly took a vacation with Peach while I got to do all of his chores) are retarded people dressed up, because Mario couldn’t “afford” real actors, and his excuse for using water as a weapon instead of guns and fireballs is the same, but he just doesn’t want me to know that he stole all of the coins I earned in Mario advanced 2. Why can’t it be called Luigi advanced 2, or Luigi Sunshine?!, because Mario steals all of the glory with his cheap evil lawyer! Sheesh! Now lets get back to “Luigi’s Mansion.” Luigi, if you could change who you saved in Luigi’s Mansion, your game; instead of Mario, who would you save? Luigi: I would save Peach! Mario sucks, he purposely trapped me in a haunted mansion, he teamed up with the boss in the game to ruin my game! It was Mario=s idea to hire a cheap scientist for my game named Professor E Gadd, instead of a smart Yoshi! My Game was supposed to be about me and the Matrix, but Mario turned my game into a game where I save him and fight boos, while he took Matrix for a game/movie of his own, :”Super Mario Reloaded,”(a game/movie that isn’t out yet) my dream game/movie, and I’m not in it! That’s enough Luigi, now lets see what Yoshi has to say. Yoshi: Mario sucks! I hate his grin and his hat, it’s old and smelly! Now lets talk to Donkey Kong about Mario’s beginnings. DK: In the beginning, I married Peach, but Mario tried to take Peach because he thought that Peach looked “nice”. I was about to make it big with Peach in my video games, but Mario stole Peach for his own video games.”Donkey Kong and Peach” would of been my second video game, but Mario took Peach and we went out separate ways. I hired a circus monkey named “Diddy”, and old hobo named “Cranky”, a surfer ape named AFunky@ and a good looking apette named “Candy”(We changed her name to “Tiny” in our newest game), but I will never forget Peach. Narrator: Here Bowser speaks out. Bowser: I hate Mario! In Super Mario Sunshine he made me so embarrassed when he caught me with Peach in the tub! I’m gona get him! To think we used to be friends(flashback)............................................ Back when I was a baby Bowser there was a kid with a mustache who lived next door. We became friends and our friendship lasted for a long time. That was until Mario went insane. He started beating me up and I would cry and cry.... Narrator: OK that’s enough Boswer. Now people do you see what kind of sick maniac Mario is! Ok Bowser go on. Bowser: I grew up fearing and hating the sick maniac which was Mario. Always thinking how to get back at him, but he always won.... It’s time things changed! I’m gonna get you Mario when you least expect it! You may even be on the toilet! Anywhere, anytime! Narrator: see that hatred, it’s sad..... Narrator: Here is the special story of how Mario(insane Mario) came to be..... Once upon a time there lived a little boy with a mustache, his name was Mario. Mario was a simple boy, he had a brother named Luigi, but inside Mario was special. Here Luigi will tell us Mario’s childhood story..... Luigi: Mario used to be a nice brother until he got hooked on a fruit called Juga-Juga. He then started hitting me and spanking Yoshis’. Now he is a selfish loser. Sometimes I even see him spanking himself, it’s sad.... to think he would spank himself spank, spank, spank! Narrator: Stop! That’s enough! Now lets talk to Mario, and see his opinion. Mario: Im’a innocinta no way em’ma retart, mamamea! I used to love that fruita called Juga-Juga, untila Luigi burnt the Juga-Juga bush with hisa green fireballs! One night when I was young, I wasa so upsetta, that I ran away to the video game lot with Yoshi and peach where I belonge.... Ok, lets talk about Yoshie in the game “Yoshi’s Island”! Yoshi: I love my game, everything was perfect, I even enjoyed the villains in the game. On break we played go-fish together. (Not Bowser of course.) The only flaw was Mario. He was only a baby at the time, but he was a brat! He got used to “Yoshi back rides”, and destroyed my family. He got older and hurt me. He threw fireballs at me if I refused to give him a ride. One day, he rode away with me and Peach to the video game lot, and forced me to be in his game! Yoshi, how was Mario born and who are his parents? Since it reveals this question inside your game, we thought we’d ask you. Yoshi: My family found Mario when I was just a little baby. He was stranded in the woods with us, so we thought that we would give him a home. We voyaged to the stork, and a family of mushroom people adopted him. We yoshis have no idea where he came from, but when we came to visit him, he bacame bratty, and soon he became bratty, and soon started to think he was a “superhero”. He made video games and struck it big to satsify his need for “superheroness”, and he still goes on adventures that video gamers do not make into video games. He calls them his Asecret missions@. He is 30 years old, and still acts like a child! Narrator: Good job Yoshi, find out why Mario is so retarded after the commercial break! Mario, you can have your opinion, tell us yours. Mario: Duh, I wasa always special, Im numbera one, in Madio Cart 64, I always win, and I hurtle shells at Luigi and Yoshi on purpose, if Peach wants to win, I divorce her, so she always loses! Luigi: See! He is an unfair loser! Ok Luigi, tell us about your sickminded girlfriend “Daisy”. Luigi: I never liked Daisy. But Mario one day had a fight over Peach. That annoying “Toad” was invited to dinner with us, and peach started to pass notes to Mario. He blushed and said “mamamea”!(The closest thing to a cussword he ever said.) I left the dinner table for more sausage, but when I left I heard Toad’s annoying voice say “Ha, ha! How embarrassing, don’t look! Gross! Ha, ha! How embarrassing....” I ran to the dinner table and saw Mario kissing Peach! Mario said “Oh, too bad Luigi, she likes me!” I stood there stunned, Toad was blabbering about something he did when he was young, and Peach said “ Hey Mario, you are de weiner!” ”That=s right mushroom cakes!” Said Mario. Then Mario said that he would hire a girlfriend for me and my video games. Mario didn’t really “hire” someone. Mario found someone off the highway and dumped her on the dinner table. She smelled, and her clothes stunk, and were ripped in some places. Mario said her name is “Daisy”, and he resumed kissing Peach. Toad was still talking about his “double dates” and “rad” clothes he wears. (He wears a diaper and overalls.) What a horrid story Luigi, at least we know Daisy’s beginnings, and how Peach dumped you. Now Mario, tell us about this fruit called “Juga-Juga”. Special Extra “Mario’s insanity” Mario: uh....oh....yah....yes-yes....Juga-Juga....they make all troubles go away.... Juga Juga verse 1 Oh Juga-Juga I love this fruit...you make me happy and high....you take away...all pain and sorrow....plus you take me on a magic carpet ride... Mario: I remember when I first met you Juga-Juga(flashback)...... You were on top of the highest mountain and I wanted a yum-yum real bad.... when I reached you all I could do was take one bite and I was hooked....you make me feel like a natural woman...huh I mean Mario!! I love the Juga-Juga.... Juga-Juga...oh...yeah... Get jiggy with the Juga!! I feasted on you and you gave me pleasure...I love you Juga-Juga....I love you and you love me...we are special friends....you rock my world and make it go round go gogo round...mamamea.... Oh..... Tune in next time! Behind the Moustache: the true story Issue 2 Hello, we are back to talk about Mario being a retard. Mario: Hey, watcha whatchu say about me! Luigi: Oh, I remember Mario. Juga-Juga made him high. Juga-Juga messed with his brain. Yoshi: Juga-Juga had nothing to do with it! When he was dropped out of the sky (revealed in Yoshi’s Island.) by kamleck,(the step father of bowser)he hit his noggin pretty hard! Mario: Oh no it was me getting high off Juga-Juga, oh yeah....and I did hit my head pretty hard though....UH!! UH!! UH! UH! ME RETARD! OH YEAH! UH! UH! Oh expo marker I luv your smell....you make me happy and high. I like to smiff your drug and ink it’s almost like you make me fly!! Ok mario I think I....Wait! Hold on people! I just recovered a rare and valuable picture out of Mario’s photo album!! Mario: Oh no! Mya private album! You took it! Look! Mario’s baby pictures! Mario: oh no! Oh my! It’s a picture of Mario drunk! Proof that Mario drinks! Hold on....I can faintly make out the brand of beer..... Mario: No! Pleases do not look, shield your eyes! Forget about this cheesy documentary! Im’a true hero! Im’a leaving! (Slam) Well, there goes our “happy” hero. We have Wario to take Mario’s place, Wario, could you please tell us why you are so chubby? Wario: It’s Mario’s fault! (Flashback) I remember back when Mario and I were in highschool. Mario used to always go shopping instead of going to school. Mario and red yoshi played “hooky” and their average grades were nor “f”s....Super “f”s! Gasp!, uh, sorry, continue. Well, Mario bought geeky glasses and beef sticks, Not only beef sticks, but chips, lard, and pig skins. He brought them to my home and taunted me by waving the stuff in my face, I drooled until I just had to eat them, and if I didn’t eat it Mario slammed my face on the tile floor! As I ate it, I would hear Mario laugh a wicked laugh, much like the laugh my classmates laugh now because I’m so fat! I feel so bad for you Wario, sniffle, sniffle, well, what happened to “WarioWorld”, your castle, and your riches? Wario: IN my newest game “Wariworld”, it reveals that all my riches are destroyed along with my castle and my whole world was gated off! A “dark jewel” destroyed my beloved land (a robot cleverly disguised as a jewel by Mario.) Here Wario, to make it up, you can keep all the money we make off of this documentary. Wario: really? Well, at least one fourth of it. Wario: gee thanks, uh........Frank. Psst! Your not supposed to reveal my name! Now for the game show portion of our show were Yoshi, Mario, Bowser and Luigi play.... Who wants to be a smarter person! Answer these questions, see your rating, and become a smarter person! Each question right equals one point. After you play, see Yoshi, Mario, Bowser and Luigi play! Yoshi, Bowser, Mario and Luigi will each get 3 lifelines and 2 continues. If they lose their 2 continues, then they are the weakest smart person! Their lifelines are: 1, call the Yoshis’, were you can see all of the Yoshis’ in Yoshi’s island and their opinion. 2, phone a Yoshi, and 3, get an easier question. Bomb-omb is our host for....... Who Want To Be A Smarter Person! Bomb-omb: ready for your first question? Where does Mario really live? A: In a mushroom hut B: In a garbage can C: In princess Peaches castle D: In Yoshi=s Island The answer is A. What is Mario’s favorite food? A: Green mushrooms B: Red mushrooms C: expo markers D: Juga-Juga The answer is D. What does Mario want for his birthday? A: a signed autograph of the Teletubbies B: expo markers C: Juga-Juga D: Real estate Even though you might think the answer is C, Mario has a garden full of Juga-Juga bushes! The answer is D. What is Mario’s favorite book? A: 100 great ways to ruin lives B: To hate your brother it to love nature C: Teletubbies go to school D: Eating Juga-Juga for retards The answer is c.(Mario loves Teletubbies) What is 36.002 x 5 - 52 x 35000.3? A: A lot B: 50.03 C: -90.52 D: a math problem The answer is D, unless your too stupid to notice, like Mario. What is Mario’s last name? A: Madiauchi B: Toadstool C: retardo D: Norman The answer should be C, but nobody listens to my ideas! The answer is B. In DK. 64, who are the playable characters? A: Tiny, DK, Krusha, Chunky, Lanky and Diddy B: D.K, Lanky and your mom. C: D.K, Diddy, Tiny, and Manky C: Candy, Funky D.K Answer B was just to see if you were awake. The answer is A. Bomb-ombs ratings 1-2: Retard- If you only got 2 right, than you stink 3-4: Mushroom king- I know you don’t want to be a “mushroom king”, but next time get 5 ponits! 5-6: Mario master- You know more about Mario than most people, good job! 7: Only Nintendo geeks get all the answers right! I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.... Tune in next time for Issue 3! Behind the Moustache: the true story Issue 3 Bomb-omb: Lets see Yoshi, Mario, Bowser and Luigi play now! First up is Yoshi! Bomb-omb: Yoshi! What is “Behind the Moustache”about? A-Mario, B-Mario, C-Mario, or D-Mario? Yoshi: A! Bomb-omb: you are absolutely correct! Yoshi: Yippee! Bomb-omb: Mario, what is 900 x (-10000234.1) + 1? Mario: Why do you give me the harda questions? Bomb-omb: Sorry that is incorrect. Mario: Whata? That isa cheap! Bomb-omb: That is also incorrect, sorry Mario, you are out! Mario: Darn! Bomb-omb: No backsassing or you will have to give up all your coins! Bomb-omb: Bowser, why is Mario retarded? A-bec..... Mario: Lies! Lies! Bomb-omb: We will take your coins now! Mario: Please! No! Give me another chance to play this game! Bomb-omb: Fine, but this time don’t shout out! Mario: Okay! Bomb-omb: Now Bowser, why is Mario so reterded? A-for reasons, B-for reasons, C-for reasons, or D-for reasons? Bowser: C! Bomb-omb: You are sooo correct! Bowser: Oh yeah! Bomb-omb: Luigi, here’s your question: Are you happy? A-yes, or B-no? Luigi: I think I will use my phone a Yoshi lifeline. Bomb-omb: Okay, the phone is beeping. Phone: dial tone..dial tone.. Hello? Luigi: Hi, this is a call from your buddy Luigi, the who wants to be a smarter person and in the making of “Behind the Moustache” studios. Phone: What’s the question? Luigi: Am I happy, A-yes, or B-no? Phone: well, what are you? Luigi: Happy! Phone: Then pick “A”. Luigi: Thanks Yoshi, uh, I mean, Purple yoshi with yellow polka dots! Bomb-omb: Do you have an answer Luigi? Luigi: Yes, the answer is A. Bomb-omb: You are correct! Luigi: Whoopee! Bomb-omb: Yoshi, your question is: Is my name Bomb-omb, A-yes, B-yes, C-yes, or D-yes? Yoshi: D! Bomb-omb: Is that your final answer? Yoshi: No, actually I think I will use a lifeline, lifeline number 1! Bomb-omb: Okay then, the Yoshis are voting now... The results are in! 3% for A, 5% for B, 60% for C, and 32% for D. Yoshi: C! Bomb-omb: You are correct! Yoshi: Boo-yah! Bomb-omb: Okay Mario, here is your question: what is the soluton to: -57 divided by 2-55 divided by MC squared x 52 percentile of the number of girrafes of Africa x 10- Time and space+antimatter cubed divided by the speed at which you need to travel in order to escape the gravity of a black hole once you reach it=s event horizon x 52 cubed divided by 3 x 1,000,000 to the 5th power + infinite - infinite x negative the number of years til the world ends divided by .86 x -.83+the square root of 72 to the 4th power x 3+ 750 to the 300.3th power x 85 divided by .52+ 3 divided by 45 divided by 3 to the 4th power+ -3- -2 x the number of degrees on earth divided by 2 to the 45th power x -1000 x 10+ speed in which you need to travel to escape the vortex of the space-time continuum divided by 92 to the 10000000th power x 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 to the 1000000000000th power x a googelplex in base 33.59. Is it A-0, B-nothing, C-hi, or D, I lose! Mario: I willa use mya call the yoshi lifeline! Bomb-omb: Who would you like to call? Mario: Well, it’s not a yoshi, but it is Professor E. Gadd from Luigis Mansion! Phone: Beep, beep, hello! Mario: Hi, it’s Madio! Phone: Oh no! It’s because of you that I had to work for Luigi! Mario: Don’t’a hang up! Phone: click! Beeeeeeee.... Bomb-omb: Oh, so sorry Mario... Mario: I will use lifeline 3! Bomb-omb: Oops, sorry you lost that lifeline for yelling out when it was Bowser=s turn, but you still have lifeline 2. Mario:il’a use it! Bomb-omb: The yoshis’ are voting.... Yoshis who voted: Snicker, he, hee! Bomb-omb: 0% for A, 0% for B, 0% for C, and 100% for D. Mario: D, I lose! Bomb-omb: Your right, you do lose, you got the answer incorrect! Mario: Then what was the answer? Bomb-omb: The answer was “E”- your host does not have the answer to this problem. Mario: That wasn’t one of the choices to the questi..... Bomb-omb: Oops, looks like your out Mario! Mario: Hey! That wasa not fa.... Bomb-omb: for speaking out of turn, you have to get your coins taken away! Luigi: Thats right Mario! All of the coins you stole from me in Super Mario Advanced 2! And all of the coins you got by making video games! Bomb-omb: We have collected 195,376 coins. Mario: I still have 578,934 left....snicker snicker..... Bomb-omb: Did I hear you say something Mario? Mario: Uh, no? Bomb-omb: Good. Since we are out of time and Yoshi, Bowser, and Luigi are still in the game, they split Mario’s money, and the prize! Yoshi, Bowser, and Luigi: Whoopee! Booya! Mario: You stink on ice! I’ma leaving! (Slam!) Bomb-omb: Well, this concludes Who Want To Be a Smarter Person! Thank you Bomb-omb! Baby Bowser will now do.... the prank call part of our show? Koopa kid: DON’T call me a Baby! Sorry Baby, urr Koopa Kid: Now, time to prank call Peach and the wreached Mario! Ready! Set! Go! Phone: beep....beeep.....beep....ring, ring....Hello? Tune in next time! Behind the Moustache: The true story issue 4 Koopa kid: It is time for me to ring-a-ding-ding Mario! Mario: Hello?...bleep..bleep..I’m high... Koopa kid: I’m selling some uh...Juga-Juga. Mario: Yes! Uh! High! I buy! Koopa kid: I really was just a prank caller but man...you realy wana get high.... Mario: Duh! Um.....huh what... Beep............... Juga Grace Amazing...Taste how sweet the mounds to save a high like me....I once was lost but now I’m found was blind but now I pee.....! Can you digit! Mario raps! Yo! Yo! Yo! I=m like eminem with the contreversity! Checkout my hits! Looks like we don’t have enough time to call Peach, but we do have a very special guest here today. Introducing... Shy Guy! And he is here to tell us why Shy Guys’ and goompas’ are kicked around by Mario. Shy Guy: I wasn’t always so shy until one day.... It was a normal day, us shy guys went to play with the yoshis’ until one Yoshi brought Mario on his back. Yoshi: Hey! He forced me to let him ride me! Shy Guy: Sorry...um.. Yoshi, anyway, Mario slammed Yoshi on the head, Yoshi was forced to stick his tongue out, and he ate me and turned me and my buddies into eggs. Ever since we’ve always been shy. Thank you Shy Guy, now for the body posters of our characters. Tune in next time for the next issue of Behind the Moustache! Behind the Moustache: The true story Issue 5 Narrator: Hi we’re back to talk with the iceclimbers, Nana and Popo, who are now suing Mario for stealing Juga-Juga fruits from their mountain and planting Juga-Juga bushes in his garden. Nana: Mario is a thieve! He came up our mountain, jumped on our heads and stole the Juga-Juga fruits that we have been cultivating for years! Popo: Yeah! We used to get off that delicious fruit! We enjoyed every day up on our mountain eating Juga-Juga all day and sleeping! Nana: Mario’s a loser for taking our fruit! That’s why we’re suing him! I bet he wouldn’t be such a retard if he didn’t take them in the first place! Mario, what do you have to say about this accusation? Mario: There’s no way emm’a theif mamamia! Juga-Juga was always mine since I first found it! Popo and Nana: You found it on our mountain! Theres even a sign that says property of Iceclimbers! Mario: There’s no way that ima liar! Who are you going to believe, a superahero, or a pair of biga liars?! (Silence) Well, since we know that Mario is guilty, we will now confiscate all Juga-Juga bushes in Mario’s garden and house. Mario: no! Nota mya Juga-Juga! You canta do this to me! Actually, we can, and did. All Juga-Juga have been confiscated from the premises. Mario: This isa so unfair! Ima gona get my lawyer! (Slam!) Well, at least we all know that Mario will always use his lawyer for his dirty work. Hi we’re back to talk with bowser and ask him why he always kidnaps Princess Peach. Bowser: I didn’t used to always kidnap Peach. It was all because of Mario! After he started beating me up in school, I wanted to get back at Mario. I would kidnap Peach and then find a way to get rid of Mario, once and for all! Of course, Peach was not my real enemy, so I treated her good in my castle. She would practice throwing vegetables at the koopas while I thought of a way to destroy Mario when he comes to save Peach. I hate it how people think I lock Peach up in a cage and feed her gruel! I’m good to my guests! People always think I’m some sort of monster! Narrator: About that..... Bowser: Whenever I try to destroy Mario, he finds a way to stop me! It’s not like he has my battle plans in his house or something! Narrator: Oh yeah, about that too.... Bowser: WHAT ABOUT THAT!? Narrator: Nothing.....ok! Thanks for being here Bowser. Time for a commercial break! Narrator: Now we are back! As we all know, Mario is a menace. Should we pound Mario harder? Or should we attack Luigi? Mario: Wigi is a jerka! Hea burned my Juga-Juga! Luigi: It was for the better. Juga-Juga made you crazy. Narrator: Wait..in Super Smash Bros. Melee I thought I saw Juga Juga... Mario: OHH! Those iceclimbers had it! It was their signa! Mamamia! I tried to make it my sign, but mya game designer said ita would tell too mucha about me! So mya sign became the mushroom! Narrator: What else does Juga-Juga have to do with the iceclimbers? Luigi: In the beginning on the original NES console the Ice climbers thrived. They lived off of Juga- Juga. That was their downfall. The iceclimbers were destined for greatness. Until one day while climbing a high mountain, they saw a delicious fruit. They hadn’t eaten for days! Maybe I should let the iceclimbers say the rest. Iceclimbers: OHHH! We were hungry! It was on such a tall mountain, but we had to get something to eat. We climbed so high on our first Nes game that we finally got to the Juga-Juga. Then.... We were.. Narrator: Sounds kind of familiar... Huh.... Mario: OH! OH! OH! I Love Juga!!!!! Peach: What about me Mario? Mario: NO! NOT AS MUCH AS JUGA-JUGA!!!! Juga-juga made me so happy... It took me on a magic carpet ride! UNGH!!!!!!!!!! Peach: Reminds me of that one day we had on that Island Luigi... Luigi: Yea.. Mario: MAMMAMEIA!!! Luigi isa jerk! I remember one day that he hit me with hisa fireballs. Narrator: Please tell... Mario: Well... It was aftera Super Mario 64... Peach told me she wanted to bake a cake fora me for saving the day. She invited me to hera castle. When I got there she was gone... I looked everywhere, but couldn’t find her. But then I saw Bowser... He was laughing. He was eating popcorn. It almost looked as good as Juga-Juga. Then all of the sudden Luigi came riding out of the sky on Lakitu. Lakitu was carrying a video camera. “Whatsa going on Luigi?” I asked. “Haha you dumb idiot! What do you eat? Gullible Soup?” Luigi Saida to me. Luigi started shooting green fireballs at me. Bowser started to laugh. Peach appeared at that moment. She laugheda at me too. Everyone laugheda, but Peach laughed the hardest AUUGGH! I wasa so embarrassed! Then he posted the video everywhere on the internet! Luigi: This was payback for leaving me out of Super Mario 64 Mario!!! Mario Always leaves me behind, but not in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga for Gameboy Advanced. I clean the laundry! I cook dinner! And I always watch over the house! While I was doing the laundry Toad started yelling about Peach being in trouble. He went to get MARIO to tell him about the news. Toad ignored me. Then minutes later Mario ran out of the house and messed up my laundry! He never even gave me a simple thank-you. Mario took me on his adventure, mostly because he needed me. He wasn’t in shape, and I was. Mario: Yea right! You don’ta know anything! Narrator: Look, Luigi was on a roll Mario. Let him continue. Luigi: Thanks. Anyways, Mario abused me many times during our Aadventure.@ Mario smashed me into the ground with his hammer, burned me with his fire, stepped on me, surfed on me, and hit me in the balls. Narrator: Really?! Is that true? Luigi: Yes! Every word! Play the game to find out for yourself! I’m serious! That game was a dud, but at least I was in it. He harassed me in that game! Mario: OHHHH!!! Luigi: It was such a dud. Don’t buy it! The storyline doesn’t even make sense! It contradicts itself. It is worse than Poke’mon! Mario: NO! LUIGI!!! WHY?? Luigi: Guess what? I finally got a starring role in Super Mario 64 on DS! Haha Mario! I’ve been waiting so long for that role! Narrator: Why has Mario gone down-hill? His games are no longer best-sellers. It seems that Mario is desperate for attention. What is up with Super Mario Dance-Dance Revolution? Mario: Yea, Mammameia... Kids like music these days. So I madea my own game called Super Mario DDR! (In stores now) Kids likea sports too! So I madea Super Mario Allstar Baseball! WOOHOO!! Luigi: His new games are a desperate attempt to get money, so he can buy Juga-Juga. Narrator: So I heard you two used to be carpenters and that Mario had a girlfriend named Paulina. Mario: Yea... When I was really little I was adopted ina the Mushroom Kingdom. That is where I eat Juga-Juga. Then one day while screwing around in the pipes I found a pipe that led to the “real” world. I went in it. That is were I got a girlfriend named Paulina, mammamea! A really big ape was taking over town. I decided to save her from the apea. People calla me “Jumpman” and I was on the news! I trya to tell them that my name is Mario, but the paparazzi were ina the way. I become famous! They lovea me so much that I liva there for a year! I became a carpenter without Luigi. Then I come back to the Mushroom Kingdom. My Juga-Juga was there! So thena I became a plumber. Luigi: You ditched us all... Mario: yepa! Narrator: So sad *sobs* *sniff*! Tell us about Luigi’s Mansion... Boo, take over. King Boo: Oh those ****ing Mario Bros. always beat me up. I remember in Super Mario World exactly what happened. I was sitting on my throne, when Mario came into my throne room and whupped me good. He beat me up for no reason! After that I decided to get my revenge! So in Luigi’s Mansion I pulled a prank on them. I put a map in the mail that said: You have won a mansion! Come here to claim your prize. (really simple map) King Boo: I knew this map was too complicated for the Mario Bros.’s limited mind, and so the Mario Bros. became helplessly lost in an eerie forest. They are so stupid. I could have thought that LUIGI could have comprehended my simple map, but he was just as stupid as Mario. I captured Mario in a painting at my Mansion. It took Luigi three weeks to rescue Mario. This game is a rip. Don’t buy it! King Boo: No matter how hard I try, those evil Mario Bros. Always seem to beat me! Narrator: So tell us about your newest game, Super Duper Mario. Trevor: Sorry, if you guys want to know about my game, you’ll just have to play it. Bomb-Omb: Ok time to freshen up on your Mario knowledge! What was Mario’s first girlfriend’s name? A-Paulina B-Bowser C-Peach D-yo mom Mario thinks it’s yo mom. The answer is A. Why did Mario go back to Mushroom Kingdom? A-to see his mom B-to see Peach C-for Juga-Juga D- To assassinate George W. Bush Many have claimed it is D, but the answer is C. Who first ate Juga-Juga? A-cavemen B-The iceclimbers C-Luigi D- Mario Even though Mario claims it was him, the answer is B. Bomb-omb: Ok, if you got all 3 right, you are a geek. If you got 2 right, you are average, if you got 1 right, your kinda retarded, and if you got none right you are like Mario! ------------------ When the file was transfered from microsoft word, it messed up the fonts and spacing. Post reply to the story, please!  |
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Tripcode Mel (USER WAS TOTALLY AWESOME FOR THIS POST)   Since: 11-18-05 From: さげMOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT Last post: 5912 days Last view: 5912 days |
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| gb2/modern art | |||
Riku Sledge Brother Unpredictable. Watch your backs. Or not. Whichever. I want Metal Gear Solid 4 so badly. Since: 11-17-05 From: Tompkinsville Last post: 5907 days Last view: 5907 days |
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| Well, it must have taken quite awhile to come up with something this... weird. Very few parts were funny though.
Nice try. |
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Lord SkyLart Cukeman  Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 5956 days Last view: 5956 days |
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| Riku's right. That is the stupidest story I have ever heard. WOW! behind the scenes! I mean who cares you should really try something else, and shorten it. You lost me about 1/3 of the way down the page. (edited by Tito on 08-29-06 05:21 PM) |
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