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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - thats it, I'm done... |
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spiroth10 Paratroopa                 Since: 01-28-06 From: USA Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Yes, I still come here, albeit not as frequently. but to get to the topic, Im done. period.
done with what, you may be asking at this point? done trying to get anyone of the opposite gender to have feelings for me. Next time I meet a girl I like, I'm just gonna walk away and forget about it. Im a nerd, a punk, I'm strange/funny, unattractive, and I dont fit in. Every moment of solitude I get has at least a couple minutes of regrets, jealousy, and hatred towards others based on the fact that I fail so miserably in that department. Some people say love can save the world, not me. If anything, it's brought me closer to becoming evil. The feelings no longer make me happy, but jealous, angry, and depressed. so I'm done. done trying there. guess it's just not my place in the world. Hell, I've never even been able to get a first date. lol, It's even hard for me to flirt with anyone. It would be wasted effort I could use for programming or something if I were to try to get girls anymore. I'll just fail like I always do. Hell, I dont need love anyway. I have my friends -- good friends; friends who would actually risk their lives for me. and their good people too, always helping others in their own way. Don't know why I decided to post this rant. had a lot of time on my hands again, and I always get to thinking when I have time on my hands. If there's anything I can tell anyone, its that emotions are bad. while in most they can inspire happiness and goodness, in few they can cause despair, hatred, even enmity. Love is absolutely the worse emotion of all, as it can inspire not only those feelings above, but severe jealousy of others, and lonliness as well. Im done with this rant too, I won't type your ears off. just wanted to speak my mind, the way it's been growing in recent times. (edited by spiroth10 on 06-25-06 11:11 PM) |
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Danielle     6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE      Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| It sounds like you don't have much self confidence... and I can tell you that lacking in that department makes dating/finding a nice boy/girlfriend much harder than it should be. You don't need to go for every gal you see, you don't have to feel rejected if every girl doesn't jump into your arms... you just have to wait until you find the right person and then try your best to make it happen.
There are sooooo many people in the world, having a handful of them not want to be in a relationship with you isn't the end of the world. Stay positive, at least try.  |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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Originally posted by spiroth10 Originally posted by Danielle Danielle gave you some very good advice, and I just picked out what I thought was the most important little bit of it. Basically, if you do not believe that you're worthy of something or someone, then you'll be damn lucky if anyone else does. I know it's hard to build self-confidence in a vaccum with little/nothing to build off, but it's something everyone has to do at some point in their life if they really want to achieve their potential. To tell my own little story: I used to have almost no success with girls, mostly because of my own lack of self confidence. Sometimes I would meet a cool girl, start to like her, and then fuck it up because I couldn't believe that she was actually into me, even when it was OBVIOUS that she was. I'd think stupid shit like "No way she likes me, she's too popular and pretty for that," and then end up hitting myself in the head later when I realized she could and did like me. I am not attractive or even that manly. I am 165 pounds (78.4 kg) of unathletic build, only 5'11" (183 cm), pale, I cannot grow a proper beard, my ribcage is uneven and sticks out more at the bottom than at the top, I have mediocre fashion sense... I am average at best. I am not the kind of guy that can girls want to take home for their 21st birthday; the kind of man that women will stare at from across the room or approach without being asked. Everything I have done with girls comes from me truly believing that I am awesome and not being afraid to talk to them. Put your personality first and people will look past a mediocre appearance. In short; It has a lot less to do with physical apperiance or stereotypes than you seem to think it does. There's no reason to give up; If you haven't gotten a first date yet, then go get one. Fuck, I didn't go on a date until I started high school; It's not too late for you by any strech of the imagination. (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 05:18 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 05:34 PM) |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now.  Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Dude... I didn't get dates when I was 16 either. I sometimes even thought along the lines you're thinking. But things change, especially once high school is over. College life and real life (high school is most assuredly NOT real life) are not so cliquish and awkward.
I happen to be an attractive guy and I'm pretty damned cool too. Did I know this in high school? Nope. I thought I was a weird, unnatractive dork. Your outlook on things will change, as will peoples' views of you. As far as getting dates with girls... well... The most important thing you can have is confidence in yourself. Before you start to say "but Kas, (blahblahblah,") let me continue. I don't care what you look like. I don't care what sort of lifestyle you have (unless you're heavy into drugs or don't bathe often.) I don't care if you're a jock or a nerd (being a nerd is not necessarily at all uncool.) There will be people who are interested in you for who you are as long as you're interested in yourself. It may be that the trick is in finding them, but they're there. Since you're a guy, I'm also willing to bet that there have been girls interested in you that you've overlooked or not noticed. We all do that. We're guys, we miss things. When you find a girl you like, the main thing to do is not to try too hard and either look like an ass or drive them away. And not all of them will return your interest. If that's the case, don't push too hard, just let it go. The high school scene can be stagnant, too. I'm willing to bet you have friends of both sexes that have friends from other schools in the area. Since they are friends of people you hang out with, some of them are bound to share interests with you. Hang out with them. Ask one of them to prom. Girls love prom, they get to buy new dresses. And with a girl from another school there's less chance that she'll be going to yours already. Plus, you can leave behind any mental baggage you have from school that keeps you from asking. Don't give up. It really does start to work out. Really. I know this. (edited by Kasdarack on 06-26-06 05:26 PM) |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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| Kasdarack basically said I everthing I wanted to say, but better. Listen to him, too.
PS. Who the hell is kasdarack?  (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 05:34 PM) |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now. Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| P.S. a noob =) | |||
Jomb Deddorokku  Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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I'm sure you posted here so that people would pat you on the back and try to talk you out of it. But me, i say you are 100% right, could'nt agree with you more!  |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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Originally posted by Jomb Pyschologists usually have a degree. |
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Jomb Deddorokku Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| Funny you should mention it, i have a minor in psychology. Enough to know it is complete and utter bullshit |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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Originally posted by Jomb Funny, I have a major in psychology. I'm sure the class at your local college was easy, but try again when you've actually learned something. Not everything like this is just an attempt at validation. I used to believe the same stupid shit you are spouting, until I learned it is dead wrong. Furthermore, what makes you think this is some sort of veiled cry for help? If he posted it here, he obviously wants replies, and probably some sort of help. Maybe he doesn't know what to do himself, and is just looking for advice? No matter what the case is, being an asshole to him isn't going to help. Pitch in or shut up, just don't fuck everything up. (edit: took out some unnecessary stuff. The post still says essentially the same things) (edit2: I sorta want to delete this post, for the thread starter's sake, but I don't want to seem like I am trying to go back on what I said or something. I'm leaving it up simply because it's what I said.) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 08:39 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 08:41 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 08:42 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 08:43 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 08:43 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 09:14 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-26-06 09:18 PM) (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-27-06 12:34 AM) |
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Jomb Deddorokku Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| therapists are a professional leeches
I was'nt being an asshole to him, i was being 100% upfront and truthful. I meant everything i said. Attacking my credentials is childish. I went to a good school and was origionally a psychology major. I was near the top of my class when i switched majors. The man in question clearly is having a hard time with the opposite sex. Its obvious to me he needs a break from trying to impress girls and getting used by them. I think he is doing the right thing. So you'd have him go to a therapist and get bled dry for some "professional advice"? (edited by Jomb on 06-26-06 08:44 PM) |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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| I am not going to argue this with you here, as my reply is going to be long and angry and would end up derailing/closing this thread. I'll PM you my reply, and I'll PM a copy of it to anyone else who is interested. Just don't accuse the kid of seeking shallow validation ("I'm sure you posted here so that people would pat you on the back and try to talk you out of it...") when he might have an actual issue. (edited by witeasprinwow on 06-27-06 12:32 AM) |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| ...Going back on topic a little... I'd just like to add on to what wite and Kasdarack (ps- you're a newbie? You're pretty cool!) were saying. You're not dating yourself, don't forget that. You may not find yourself attractive, but why does that matter? SHE is the one looking at you, and if your attitude is that of "zomg im ugly h8 me" then... why would a girl waste her time? Be someone that is carefree and fun, willing to take risks and willing to accept himself. Nobody wants to date someone who will give them nothing but emotional baggage.
Just don't worry so much. This is your life, dude. Now I'm going to be totally and completely corny and say CARPE DIEM. *bows* |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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Originally posted by Danielle I liked your first post better, but this is still good advice. A point I completely forgot to make is that you need to let go of what other people think about you. You create your own worth, not other people. Babe Ruth struck out over a thousand times, but he still went up to the plate and gave it his all every time, which is why he's a legendary baseball great. You can't hit a homer until you accept that you might strike out, too. Also, I'd sorta like to apologize for driving the thread this far off-topic. I probably should have shut up and just PMed jomb from the start, but I wasn't thinking that it would escelate like it did. I'd rather just not talk about it in this thread and stick to the topic of helping this kid. |
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NSNick Gohma IF ALL ELSE FAILS USE BOOZE  Since: 11-17-05 From: Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| I'd like to say that you don't need to stress out about getting a girlfriend now, or even any time soon. You're only 16. Just let it happen when it happens. | |||
Sabishii Red Paragoomba Since: 02-26-06 From: Georgia Last post: 6447 days Last view: 6447 days |
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| Look, it helps a lot if you remember that not everyone has the same taste.
Some people like nerds and punks. Besides, if someone doesn't like you, odds are a relationship wouldn't have worked even if they did. It takes a lot to accept rejection, but a piece of advice an old friend gave me really seems to come in handy here. You have to love yourself before you and expect someone else to love you. I know that's cliché, but it's one of the more truthful things I've been told. Love who you are, be secure with the fact that you're human and therefore you will have faults and you will not be able to please everyone. Take comfort in that. Embrace what you like in yourself, change what you don't and then flaunt it. If people like it, they'll come. If not, screw them. Someone will take interest eventually, promise. Kinda like Wite, I used to have all kinds of issues there. I'm short, slightly heavier than most teenage girls, nerdy and geeky and sarcastic enough to push away the most amiable people. I just had to find someone who laughed at my sarcasm instead of being offended by it and someone who realized that you dont need a supermodel exterior to have a beautiful mind. You know what's even better? I've found several people like that. They all tell me i'm crazy every time my confidence slips and I start to be down on myself. It's just high school though. Keep in mind that most high schoolers are out for "fun," be that in the form of sex or trying to date the hottest or most popular guy in school. Dating isn't really about curing loneliness or serious relationships in high school, it's all a game. I'm told that changes in college, but I won't find that out until fall of 2007. Love yourself and the rest will come as it must. Love yourself and you won't need someone else. That's confidence in the purest form and confidence is dead sexy. |
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Valcion Knuckle Joe too much high power man  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Doesn't change much in college, either.
And like everyone said, you just have to keep trying and well, just not give up. If you wanna put love on the back burner, then fine, do it. There's a lot more important things out there that you could focus on at your age. Try and focus on improving your self-worth first, like everyone else said. And the thing is, if you believe you'll fuck things up, you eventually will. So don't think that. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now. Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Valcion I found that EVERYTHING changes in college... |
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witeasprinwow Since: 12-29-05 Last post: 6389 days Last view: 6389 days |
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Originally posted by KasdarackOriginally posted by Valcion I think it's more the people that change in college. It's not a magical transformation or something, it's a part of maturing. If you go to a big college, having a lot of people to meet is a bonus too. Getting shot down is a lot easier to take when word won't spread around the school like fire, and when there's still a trillion other girls left for you to talk to. |
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Valcion Knuckle Joe too much high power man Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Maybe i just went to a rather immature community college, but sometimes it felt the same. |
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