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When it all was over I gave him a hug and said "you're another Dan Marino, dude" He looked at me and replied "Dad, you can't live your unresolved teenage athletic fantasies through me, or relive them as the case may be, although mom says you never played sports in school as grandpa was always unemployed and drunk so you had to adopt the role of in loco parentis and work long hours as a dishwasher at the Surf N Turf. Which is sad really and may explain why Mom left you over your workaholism. But I just can't make those years up for you dad and I won't, so please never ask me to do this again and please let me be who I want to be."

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When you write a review there is this standard direction "Please be sure to focus your comments on the product" Well, these binoculars can focus on the subject too. The subject being, in my case, my ex girlfriend Mariah in her apartment bedroom with her new guy Jason, the roofer on probation who is going to break her heart and send her crawling back to me.

Technical: I was about 50 meters away in an arborvitae hedge, late at night, light rain, some ambient lumeniscence from street lights. I could see her lips very well, those rose tinged full lips that she lightly ran her tongue over as Jason removed his greasy jean jacket before staggering drunkenly across the room towards her. Then she chewed on her lower lip in that sexy way she used to do just for me. Just for me. Now for Jason.

I'm glad it had image stabilization. I'm glad I fell out of the hedge and broke my ankle before I saw much more. I'm glad I was able to limp to my car and get to the ER. I'm glad time heals. I'm glad the protection order expires next month.

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