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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - Online dating? |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji                    Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6340 days Last view: 6340 days |
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| OK, so...
What do you guys think about online dating? Is it totally stupid, waste of time? Or is worthwhile? For years, I've had absolutely no success in dating peopel I know personally. I'm 19 years old, and have no idea what it's like to have a girlfriend, go out on a date, hold hands with a girl, etc. And part of me wants to just have an online girlfriend just for fun. And yet another part of me thinks online dating is the stupidest thing ever for me. But no matter how much I like a girl, how much I care about her, and how far I'm willing to go for her, nothing ever works out. I kind of just want an online 'girlfriend' that I can just sort of be silly with and all, and at the same time, I think it would be stupid. I don't know, what do you guys think of online dating? |
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Cruel Justice I have better things to do.  Since: 11-18-05 From: At my house! Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| I wouldn't risk it unless you're truly willing to face consequences...
-A guy on the other end pretending to be a woman -A waste of time and money -Some psychopathic killer wanting you for cheap thrills Really, if meeting real people face-to-face isn't your style and digital seems most necessary just because it's easy, you may as well wait another 10 years for artificial partners to come out. It's not easy getting a girlfriend, but when you need someone really bad, just aim for comfort over pride. Lower your standards a little at a time, don't be too picky. You'll find that in time, it was all worth it and you'll be happy. |
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Silvershield   580  Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6307 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| It's often not an issue of too-high standards, but of personal obstacles. I hadn't the least bit of contact with a girl until I was just about 17, and that wasn't because I was too picky but because I was shy and reserved around the opposite sex. I still am, just for the record, but after having a girlfriend I've realized that it's not a big a thing as I'd made it out to be. | |||
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| For myself? Nah. Not these days, anyway. I need something that is real, physical and all that jazz.
For others? Go for it if it makes you happy. |
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Anya  Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| If you just want to do it for "fun", then don't.
Its something that the both of you have to work at to keep until the day that the two of you actually meet (if that even does happen). |
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Uncle Elmo Porcupo Loved up and ready to go :) Since: 11-24-05 Last post: 6311 days Last view: 6351 days |
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| I agree with Anya, you're definately not ready for this. | |||
mattp Red Paratroopa Since: 03-04-06 Last post: 6560 days Last view: 6560 days |
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| It's a huge waste of time. Very few online relationships actually work, and those few are extremely trying on the couple.
If you could go into detail on the specific problems you have in relationships, that would help. |
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Valcion Knuckle Joe too much high power man  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| Right now you need to get over your own problems and stop worrying.
But, all in all, it depends on how well you know each other. If you've known them long enough and that they're very close and they trust you (and vice versa) go for it. But like i said, you're nowhere near ready. |
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Keitaro Mole Since: 11-18-05 From: Massachusetts Last post: 6453 days Last view: 6453 days |
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| If you're serious about it, you have the dedicaiton, and you're willing to give it your all and treat it seriously, online relationships -can- work out. Keep in mind it takes a lot of hard work, and you have to be really willing to put in the effort, and the person will have to be really worth it in the long run (because presumably, the two of you will be eventualy meeting up). In my experience, if you kow what you're doing and you find the right girl, online relationships can be rewarding if you take the time to make them so. | |||
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6340 days Last view: 6340 days |
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| Of course they can, look at Napoleon Dynamite and how things worked out for his brother.
*crickets chrip* Anyway, I'm not stupid, I know what could go wrong and I know that in order for it to be serious it would take dedication. The problem is that I'm more willing than most people are as far as dedication goes, but it's always for a girl who wants me to NOT like her. And personal relationships are MUCH more risky than online ones. Actually, Valcion, you only said once that I was 'no where near ready,' and I don't see what I'd be ready for when I'm not even IN a relationship. I would MUCH rather be in a relationship with a girl I know personally, but the truth of the matter is that no one is willing to even give me a chance. It doesn't matter how much I like them or what I'm willing to do, if they don't like me back, it's all for naught. I feel like I should stop liking girls for who they are and just wait until one likes me for who I am, THEN find what I like about her. But that's just stupid. But I also cannot go through this same process over and over again. It's not an issue of me having high standards, it's an issue of the girls at my college having high standards. But the problem is that every girl I've ever liked wasn;t what I thought 'my type' was and didn't match 'my standards.' So I've concluded that my standards need to be very minimal. Right now, I only have one standard for a girl to pursue, and that's that they like me for who I am. After that, I can move up the list. The problems I've had are that I have NO dating experience at all, even though I'm 19, and I know that in and of itself is a bit strange. I've only ever truly liked 3 girls in my life thus far, and each one I liked even more than the last. This 3rd one made me feel and think things no other person ever has. Even though she's done some stupid things to me (as I have to her) I know she didn't mean to hurt me, and I love her for who she is, not how she acts toward me. I know she's an amazing person, and for some reason, even though I know she doesn't like me that much even as a friend, I still like her and I somehow know n my gut that she's worth the pain I've been through, and she's worth more of it. But I don't really see us in a relationship anytime in the near future. Especially since one of her lofty standards for dating is that she will never date a boy until she somehow KNOWS she could marry him. Personally, I believe she's even less mature in the ways of dating than I am. I personally don't think she's ever truly liked someone and started falling in love with someone, so it's easy for her to dismiss it all. I want to enter a relationship and be serious, but I just can't see how I could do that with someone I've never met. I can't even do it with people I HAVE met. |
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Skydude Armos Knight  Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| Honestly, I have to say online dating can be tough, but can indeed work. Using OK Cupid which was made by the team from thespark.com, I had some luck a couple years ago and I'm still in fact friends with the girls, both of whom were in the area I'm from. One of them has another recommendation that you do have to pay a bit for, but I'm not sure what the site is and can't personally recommend it because I don't know.
On the whole, the viability depends on several factors. If they're nearby, then it's really just if you don't mind meeting them through online. Otherwise, then it's a lot like other kinds of long-distance relationships, which are a more general matter. |
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Danielle  6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| If you want to do online dating "just for fun," then yeah it's going to be a waste of time. If you go into it optimistic but not TOO serious, and you do find someone, then who knows what could happen.
But if your attitude right off the bat is "it's just for fun, to pass the time..." then it's not going to end well. Obviously.  |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6340 days Last view: 6340 days |
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| Obvously.
Just for fun may not have been the best phrase. Just so I know what the f5ck dating is like AT ALL may be better. |
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mattp Red Paratroopa Since: 03-04-06 Last post: 6560 days Last view: 6560 days |
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| Online dating is the farthest thing from real dating out there. It's like saying you masturbate to find out what sex is like.
You would have a better experience just going to parties with a lot of drunk girls and fucking around with them. Why do these girls dislike you? |
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| Sure, going to a party and taking advantage of drunk chicks is COOL!
Say, you know what else is an upstanding activity that is proper when compared to online dating? Giving girls rooftinis! |
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Skydude Armos Knight Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| I think it largely depends on the kind of online dating you do, ephy. If you do it as a way to meet people in your general area, then past the way of meeting people it is pretty much just like "normal" dating. If you live far away and don't meet the person until you've gotten to know that person better...it's certainly not exactly like a long-distance relationship where you dated the person for a while before it was long distance, but not completely unlike it either.
Particularly in this world in which we are increasingly connected via the internet, online dating isn't quite so far from other things as you make it out to be. That said, I consider it more of a backup plan of sorts than where you should spend most of your time/resources looking for a date, since it is better to meet people in a more "normal" setting. |
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Thoughtless [Danielle] Thoughtless is my secret lover [Danielle] *flutters eyelashes* [Thoughtless] SECRET IS OUT I miss my two pussies :( (Part II) Since: 11-17-05 From: PR Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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Originally posted by mattp That sure is... 
Really. |
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Googie 390  Since: 11-22-05 From: Corona Queens New York Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6298 days |
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| I used to do the online dating thing back between 2000 and late 2003. I went through alotta drama back then. The women I met were insane, but then again I live in New York where everyone is insane. Please stay away from online dating, it's not worth it. But then again that's my opinion. | |||
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6340 days Last view: 6340 days |
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| Um, I live in New York, thank you very much, and everyone's not insane here.
Believe me, I want to meet a girl and becomes friends with her and then move into dating much more than date someone online. But the truth of the matter is that that approach has NEVER worked, ever, and there's nothing I can do about it, because it's never ME, it's THEM. I don't know what girls I befriend don't like about me, they just don't like me. I mean, the girl I like right now... We both care about each other, we're both always trying to do what's best for the other and what will make the other happy, we'll do silly random things now and again that are nice for each other, and we even find each other good-looking. But...she doesn't like me, not even much as a friend, much less someone she could date. And her standards are so high (though I think this is more social immaturity) that she refuses to even give a boy a chance in a relationship unless she KNOWS she could get married to them. See, to me, dating is a means of getting to marriage, but to her, it's more like...marriage is a means to date someone. And that's just sort of silly, I think. People don't start dating because they know they'll get married. It doesn't work so well, becaus euntil they're in relationship, they DON'T know if it'll work. But no matter what I do or say or how loyal or how loving or what I'm willing to do... None of it matters at all if she simply doesn't like me and doesn't see the good in me that other people do. And that's just depressing, knowing that no matter WHAT qualities I have or what I'm willing to do, if the girl I'm willing to give it to isn't even willing to give it a chance, it's all worth shit. But that's how life is, I guess. I'm just sick of waiting. Everyone tells me "you'll know" when you find that "someone" and you should always take the opportunity, but each time, I feel even more strongly about it, more willing, more open-minded, more loving, and each time, it NEVER works out, I'm never even given a chance, and it goes ot crap. I feel like if I met someone online, maybe they'd get to know me for who I am, not how I can act in person--very shy and quiet. I don't know. I'm just damn sick of hoping and wishing and loving and being ready to jump off a cliff for someone, when they'd rather I NOT feel that way about them and they refuse to even picture the possibility. It makes me feel like there's something innately wrong with me--something so wrong, people can't even look past it to see good in me. It's a bit of a mess. |
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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Originally posted by D3stiny_Sm4sher If you can...Get a date there, you'll get a date anywhere. I love the girls of New York, New YOOOOOOORK! |
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