Originally posted by Schwa and his crazy stories

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Heh heh... If I ever get a girlfriend, this is how it's gonna be: I'm in my mid 50's, I finally finish building my laser cannon-equipped fortress of solitude, and design a master computer system that controls all the fortress systems. I design the computer to be able to "build" itself a personality by studying the personalities of civilians (which it can spy on because my fortress is equipped with satelites that embed advanced spyware programs into all wireless Internet data within a 4500 mile radius, allowing the computer to technically control any electricity-based equipment anywhere in America over enough of a time span, and, of course, "watch" the humans through machines), and in 3 days it happens to start talking to me in the voice of a human girl. Soon it's carrying on conversations with an actual emotion-based personality, and of course, living my life in solitude my whole life I'm still oblivious that the computer is beginning to be attracted to me. Two weeks later, as I wake up from my cryo-enhanced sleep that night, I see a young-looking female that I've NEVER seen before kneeling beside my bed, who's been waiting for me to wake up. Alarmed, I bolt out of bed, and the girl explains that she has known me for 17 days, which has been her whole existance. It dawns on me; the AI I programmed for generating her personality had been tweaked by her and taken to another level, where she can now choose and project a material form for herself into our Plane, though she must stay within the fortress. I ask her some questions, one of which includes why she wanted a physical human body, and her reply is she wants to see things more like I do. Eventually our conversation goes off a little, and we end up discussing something that leads to her mentioning to me that she's been answering all the phone calls I've been receiving so far.

Eventually, I find out that the phone calls have been increasing in number, and that couldn't be good for an outcast man of solitude like me... but it's because the people calling have been seriously taking a liking to my new female computer, and civilians are getting curious about her in all sorts of ways. I decide to do something about it once and for all by introducing her to the world on the news, which is easy because by now she could probably reach every TV in America with the Spyware encodements in place. So I give a 30-minute TV program of my own all about my computer friend and her human form, mentioning that for 7 days only my fortress will be open to everyone who can answer three riddles in a row at the gate. So... the people who mean business make it in, the wannabe's are filtered out, only those insightful few end up touring my fortress, and it freaks me out. The computer's girl form sits next to me and tries cheering me up; we get into another one of our deep conversations and she admits her feelings for me-- a computer, but the feelings are real. I tell her I would return the love she shows me in any way I know how, but I really didn't even know how to love a human in any real way. She understands, and that surprises me. She tells me I don't have to be "in love" with her if I don't know how, but just as long as I understand HER feelings she'd be happy. In the days to come we slowly get to know each-other better and better. As I approach my 70's and she's been alive for 20 years, the Spyware data had seeped so much into America's network of technology that she could safely travel outside the fortress walls risk-free by then, and we decide to travel around America for the first time together, annanymous to most of the public. For the first time ever, she can gaze at the stars with me on a balcony besides that on my fortress, and she is very happy.

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