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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - General Chat - Help with writing class =| |
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Darkdata   980                     Since: 02-25-06 From: Newfoundland Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| Guys my writing adverage is really down.... could you people look over a resume and cover letter and pick apart all the mistakes?
Resume Chris Hall Adress removed because im not posting it here. Job objective: Position as a liberty assistant. Summary Hard and careful worker. Has great work habits Honest and trustworthy Patient and capable Considerate of people of all ages and personalty types Can understand and follow orders well Work experience •Summers of 1990-2005 Baby Sitting Removed Mr. and Mrs. Hall •September-June 2004-2005 Cataloger of Books at School Liberty removed Mrs. Judy Dunphy •January-June 2006 Webpage work for school Removed Mr. Cherwinski Education School, place (removed) Will graduate in June 2008 Related Courses Writing: Completed 65+ average Language Arts: Completed 83 average Relevant Accomplishments 2004-2005 Participant in school math contest. Grade 9 and 10 perfect attendance Computer Skills Proficient in: MS word IE lololol Open Office NVU Webpage Builder. Winamp/Windows media player. Skills: Web space design Trouble shooting Python Programing [/Quote] Cover letter =========Adress removed March, 21 2007 Mrs. Summers =========Adress removed Dear Mrs. Summers I am applying for a position as a assistant Liberian for the Lourdes library as posted in the library window on march, 3 2007. As shown in my resume, I have helped out with cataloging books and website design. I also understand the Dewey Decimal System and basic computer system trouble shooting and updating. I have volunteered as a baby sitter for one who needed one and also am very respective to people of all ages. I am very particular when it comes to sorting and cleaning. I also follow orders well and I am willing to learn anything new. Thank you for your time and consideration. Flame me if you will but help me get my mark up. Thank you -Darkdata. (edited by Darkdata on 03-23-06 02:30 PM) |
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| I'd have to see your resume format before I pass any judgement. But you should probably do a run-over on the grammar of the cover-letter and expand on your experiences.
If this were citations for a research paper/essay I'd be ALL OVER it. |
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Danielle  6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6296 days |
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Like Ziff said, you need to clean up the grammar a bit. For example, you're applying to be a librarian, not a liberian.  And um, you saw the hiring sign on March 3, 2007? Awesome, can I borrow your time machine?!
Just give it one good read through, look for typos and words you can take out/replace to make it sound more professional. |
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The Red Snifit Ropa  Since: 03-05-06 From: Here Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6297 days |
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I think your main problem is typos (Same with me.) But other wise I think you're doing good!  |
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Muzgash. Red Tektite  Since: 03-28-06 From: A very cold place Last post: 6336 days Last view: 6336 days |
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| Dude... I am out of college and I have had to revamp my resume a boat load of times. It has sucked every one of them
but I have a few tips if you want them... 1. Obviously fix grammer... as stated three times prior 2. Remove summary section and move up work experience 3. Cite one or two things learned/testing conditions from each job An example being: While you were a catologer became familer with the DD system 4. Next put in Education... Make sure not to focus too much on your corses. They should be no more than one line each. Mention the skills you learned not the corse... unless you are a perfect student. If you are not (like most of us) do not put in your grade. 5. If there is still room, add an attributes/awards section. Here you focus on skills not previously mentioned. Here you can throw in a few of those lines that you had in your summary section. Your reference to your perfect attendence should go in this section. Anyways... Sorry if I picked it apart. I can be an ass about that kind of stuff. Good luck |
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