Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive -- Craziness Domain: Walter the Farting Dog

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Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Craziness Domain - Walter the Farting Dog

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MathOnNapkins

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In SPC700 HELL

Since: 11-18-05

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Posted on 03-15-06 07:44 AM

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I was out shopping at a Walmart type store an hour ago and was about to check out when I happened to spot a strange book in the children's section. It was "Walter the Farting Dog: Trouble at the Yard Sale." I had to open this book up and make sure it wasn't a joke or that I wasn't hallucinating. So I page through the book reading the whole thing. There was another Walter book right next to it so I read that too. All this left me wondering:

-When did people go insane and start writing children's books about farting, let along farting dogs?

-Where is the sense of karma in these books? Both storylines can be summed up as follows: Kids think farting dog is a great dog. Parents don't b/c of the farting. The father does something to cause Walter to go missing for a day or more.

In the first one I read, the father sells Walter to a bank robber disguised as a clown for $10 because he's having a hard time selling his stuff at the yard sale. He does this while the kids are getting some ice cream then promptly lies to them when they get back - saying he wandered off. He then proceeds to eat his ice cream and Walter's ice cream. Robber robs the bank using balloons filled with fart gas from the dog, then he comes back and Walter escapes from the 'fart collector.' Walter goes home leaving a trail of money then leads the cops back to the robber's house and he's lauded as a hero dog by the mayor. The dad says "this is a good dog."

In the second one, a doctor who studies animal gas disorders shows up for God knows why and gives the parents a mixture to feed the dog so he won't fart. At first it doesn't work at all but the father decides to change the proportions of the ingredients so it works better. At that point it starts working but Walter just fills up with gas and eventually floats away. (I wish having bad gas actually did this to me.) Walter flies off and runs into butter flies which have been trapped in an icy storm, and manages to squeeze out a monster fart (warm air) to free the butterflies from an icy descent. He then deflates and falls into a pond, where a ranger picks him up shortly and takes him home. Kids are please, the ranger is please, the parents are not.

I'd really like to see the father get what's coming to him. He's a villain in the books who never repents, never has anything backfire on him. Pure evil.

I haven't read the first one but here's a link to it. Notice the giant toxic gas cloud erupting from his anus. Almost every picture of this "children's" book is filled with such illustrations.

-Are there any other WTF WHY IS THIS A CHILDREN'S BOOK books out there?

discuss.

Apophis