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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - The Pit of Despair - Short story: Bush watches the Science channel. |
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netscape Grizzo                  Since: 12-30-05 Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6320 days |
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| This one is called President Bush watches the Science channel.
December, 2006: President Bush sets down to watch tv. "Hey honey you wanna find my bullet proof vest for the hunting trip with Dick Chaney? Dig up the electro paddles we might need those too". Bush picks up the remote. "Crap the cables out. Wait I seem to have two channels, one has Dr. Phil, and is the Science channel. Ick, I'll go with the science channel" State of the union address, 2007: Bush comes out to the podium. "My fellow Americans, secret govament intel has discovered the galaxy might teaming with an rogue element known as strangelets. These particles are hostile to our way off life. When they come into contact with normal matter they conquer it and force it into their tyrannical state. The galaxy might be teaming with it in the form of dark matter. What I want to know is why is it so dark? What does it have to hide? One single strangelet could absorb the planet which as you well know is made of normal free matter with liberty scalar fields at it's nucular core. These particles pose clear and present danger to our way of matter. They pose a major threat to this nation as one single particle could compress us to their tyrannical whims. It is my belief the universe is teaming with these particles of mass destruction. The Milky Way galaxy might be teaming with it. Scientist tell me at the center of a galaxy is something called a galactic core. I am asking Congress to give me authority to launch an attack on this galactic core. This galaxy also has other proven particles of mass destruction in the form of singularrities, or black holes in layman's terms, an could also swallow the Earth whole. The galaxy posses a clear and present danger with it's particles of mass destruction and is need of a core change so that strangelet matter, and singularrity matter can be freed from it's gravitational oppression. This is Atom building people. Some ninnies and naysayers in places like NASA or Berkley may tell you you can't just take out a Galactic core. To them I say why do you hate America? I need 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Dollars to procure enough rocket fuel to take this tyrannical star system out of power, and put in place a new democratically elected core. Congress needs to step up to the plate and give me the funds for this. This is war on Gravity people" Later that year France protests spreading yankee imperilism to the stars, and Tony Blair promises Britian's full support. July, year 43,901. After finding no dangerous particles of mass destruction Bush's decendents announce the war on the galaxy was really just about removing a tyrannical core from power. August, year 55,623. The galactic core, under the gravitational pull of a nearby globule star cluster, drifts out of it's crimes against matter trial in protest. |
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Skydude Armos Knight    Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| Your thinly-veiled left-wing ranting could better be done in this forum. | |||
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Sinfjotle Lordly? No, not quite.  Since: 11-17-05 From: Kansas Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| Skydude, do you have to over analyze everything and believe it HAS to be political? Can't you just take it as a small joke?
However, it sucked, was uninteresting, and only a very small bit funny. You had a few gramatical errors and it didn't flow very well. |
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Skydude Armos Knight Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| That's hardly analysis. Anyone with a brain can tell that this is a rather lame attempt at criticizing the current administration through a very poorly written story meant to be an allegory but instead succeeding merely in being...stupid. And anyone who can't tell that it's obviously political has no concept of allegory.
Not mention the fact that, well, it sucked. |
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Tripcode Mel (USER WAS TOTALLY AWESOME FOR THIS POST) Since: 11-18-05 From: さげMOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT Last post: 6299 days Last view: 6299 days |
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Originally posted by Dracoon Originally posted by netscape Uh-huh. >>Mel casts Close. >>Mel damages Thread for 25 hit points. >>Mel kills Thread. >>Mel gains 93 EXP. |
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