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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Politics & Relationships |
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Skydude Armos Knight                   Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| Now you know what they say, you should never bring up politics on a first date, as it's bound to lead to trouble. And I think there's some truth to that. Once you get beyond there, if either individual is at all inclined to have any sort of views whatsoever, even if that person isn't an activist, on national or international affairs, the topic is going to come up at some point. And as I was discussing with Danielle the other night, if people are really THINKING individuals rather than blindly following one party or another, it's going to be almost unheard of that they agree on everything.
But that's not really the point of this. The point is whether you would even WANT that. I got to thinking about this during this past fall as I reflected on some of the discussions I've had with different girls I've dated, and others I've been interested in but never involved with. After doing this, I concluded that I don't want someone who agrees with me on all of these issues. I know that sounds rather odd, but hear me out on this. The fact is, even if your significant other agrees with you on everything, a significant portion of the rest of the world will not. There are two schools of thought that come out of this. The first is that someone who agrees with you can be a sort of a refuge, and I agree with that to some extent, hence why it's valuable to be in like-minded groups. The problem with that, and where I come in, is that this tends to really separate you from the rest of the world and in some cases adopt an "us-vs-them" mentality. In truth, on most issues, both sides have good intentions, and have some decent points, and they usually disagree on the way to show those good intentions as well as certain values. Too often opposing sides will tend to villify each other and say the other side is just completely ridiculous. This is where my philosophy comes in. If you're one to understand the points of the other side of an issue, discussion with someone similarly understanding can help you to understand where people are coming from, and how your arguments and theirs interact. There's nothing wrong with disagreement on issues so long as you can agree on certain fundamental values and so long as both parties recognize what I suggested above, and it'll help you better deal with that issue in the future. Furthermore, it can provide a nice discussion topic at times...but if either person is a bit less understanding than the other, then it could turn ugly, is the caveat. Thoughts? |
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Black Lord + Flurry  Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| I talk politics on the first date always, why, I can't get along that doesn't have at least similar viewpoints as myself... and I always talk religion too... | |||
Arwon Bazu  Since: 11-18-05 From: Randwick, Sydney, NSW, Australia Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6296 days |
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| I won't date a serious Christian. This isn't so much political as it is based in terrible past experiences with psychotic Christian families when I lived in San Diego. Aside from the psychotic factor of that specific case... they tend to beat themselves up over nothing, and the serious ones have that glazed look in their eye like they're not entirely *there*, not entirely on earth, that their god is always partially holding their attention. Fuck that for a relationship. Three's a crowd.
Politics and Religion are not sacrosanct topics and I for one like to know these things. I love a good debate, and I agree that it's not ideal to agree on everything BUT let's not go overboard... there's beliefs and then there's beliefs which affect lifestyle and behaviour. When someone is religious or political in ways that begin to affect their lives it gets very difficult to work around. As far as religion goes, I've seen what excessive religiousness can do to someone, all that guilt and self-loathing and stuff (maybe I just need to stop being attracted to semi-lapsed Catholics). And as for politics, I couldn't date an anti-abortion activist or a PETA activist or probably even a Young Liberal (if indeed there are actually any girls in the Young Libs) and I'd struggle to deal with someone who, say, was seriously into campus politics. But as far as idle views and ideas go, that's fine, debate and argument is great... it's when the views and ideas start to turn into actions and lifestyles, that are seriously seriously incompatible with mine, that it becomes absurd. |
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Skydude Armos Knight Since: 02-18-06 From: Stanford, CA Last post: 6568 days Last view: 6568 days |
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| I definitely have to agree with you a lot on that one, and say that's something I considered but didn't really put into my original post. These disagreements on things are ideal when they're in beliefs and opinions. When a person is particularly active, that changes everything. Heck, sometimes it can be a problem if the person is active in the SAME things as you believe, if they're a lot more active than you are. For example, I'm a Catholic, and semi-serious about my beliefs...but I'm not particularly spiritual about it, and I'm not really obsessively devoted...and while ideally I would want a Catholic girl, since I do like to attend mass regularly, and it would be nice to have her with me, I might be a bit put off by one who's too devoted to it.
The same could really be said for a number of causes. |
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Christi Red Goomba Since: 03-05-06 From: La-La Land Last post: 6343 days Last view: 6343 days |
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| I completely see what you're saying. I would rather be with someone who shared the same idealogies as me but only to an extent....
While I have beliefs and opinions, I wouldn't feel comfortable being with someone who was extremely political, even if they agreed with me on everything. When I mean that, I mean that they invest a great deal of their lives into politics, whether it's through a career or activism. I'm referring to any political party. I'm afraid of them becoming "preachy" with me when they find out I don't care as much as they do. I do care about the country a great deal and I vote and contribute to the causes I believe in, but I wouldn't let my life revolve around them and I don't want someone who would look down on me because I don't appear to "care." |
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