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05-16-24 02:57 AM
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Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - When It's Over New poll | |
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drjayphd

Torosu
OW! BURNY!








Since: 11-18-05
From: CT

Last post: 6299 days
Last view: 6296 days
Posted on 02-24-06 01:03 AM Link | Quote
After tonight's events, I'm pretty sure the end of my relationship with my girlfriend is nigh.

Basically, she wants us to get an apartment together, and figures I'm going to propose to her. I thought otherwise. Told her, over dinner (when she brought it up), that I'm not so sure it's a good idea, for a variety of reasons. She wouldn't say a word to me from then until I dropped her off at her home, which was at least a half-hour drive. Then she didn't say she loved me when she got out, which she never does.

So basically, it's over. But how long would you hang on when you knew you were going in different directions (re: moving in vs. leaving the state, when she won't follow you)? Would you let it get to this point?
Skydude

Armos Knight








Since: 02-18-06
From: Stanford, CA

Last post: 6569 days
Last view: 6569 days
Posted on 02-24-06 01:30 AM Link | Quote
Well, I think that largely depends on how sure you are that it's over, and what you want long term.

Are you completely sure you don't want to move in and propose to her? Are you sure that if you leave, you won't want to try to make things work so that you would be together in the future? If you're not dating her, will you want to remain friends?

You really need to consider these and other factors. Look at what you want out of it. But just as importantly, look at what she wants, and how reasonable it is. Even if you want to stay friends, if she doesn't, well, no use taking that into consideration. You may think you're moving in different directions now, but it may be the case that that'll change in the future, and this is a BIG test of that resolve.

But whatever you do, be honest. Don't try to 'let her down easy' and don't stay together because you think it'll make her feel better. That'll make it that much harder when it finally does end, because at that point you'll have been ready for it, but it'll be a huge blow for her. Just be honest, whatever you decide.
drjayphd

Torosu
OW! BURNY!








Since: 11-18-05
From: CT

Last post: 6299 days
Last view: 6296 days
Posted on 03-01-06 10:50 PM Link | Quote
...well, when is it over? Now, it seems.

Could you be friends with someone after they break up with you?

(Anyone who can, this can probably go into Officer's Club of Emo and Waffles.)

...shit.
Iori Yagami

Hardhat Beetle








Since: 11-18-05
From: Hell's keeper

Last post: 6503 days
Last view: 6503 days
Posted on 03-01-06 11:09 PM Link | Quote
Actually yeah it is possible to still be friends if you break up with them or they break up with you. One of my ex's and I are still friends even when we tried dating twice.
Skydude

Armos Knight








Since: 02-18-06
From: Stanford, CA

Last post: 6569 days
Last view: 6569 days
Posted on 03-02-06 06:38 AM Link | Quote
It depends largely on the situation. Often, yes, you certainly can stay friends after breaking up. I know I have with a majority of my exes. Sometimes, though, it becomes too painful for one or both parties, and it just doesn't work. Hard to give a general rule, though. It depends on how much each of you wants to be friends with the other, and how much you're willing to do to make it work, because it often will take some effort to make it work.
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