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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - General Chat - Does politeness = dishonesty |
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Are polite/pc people being dishonest?| Yes |
28.6%, 6 votes | No |
71.4%, 15 votes | Multi-voting is disabled. 21 users have voted.
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Tarale    2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata                   Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6297 days |
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Originally posted by windwakerOriginally posted by Tarale Oh, I got that it was sarcasm and I said it was in bad taste. And not funny. Sarcasm IS supposed to be a form of humor after all  |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite!  Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6326 days Last view: 6304 days |
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Originally posted by ||bass Perhaps I should have quoted this quote instead. I was trying to point out ||bass's conceited douchebaggery and so I said something very similar to his, while being sarcastic. |
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| Just because a truth is obvious doesn't mean it's significant.
It's one thing to tell a person "No, I'm not interested in going out with you", and another thing "No, I'm not interested in going out with you because you're a fat, ugly troll". Not to mention that in some cases the truth isn't really all that helpful. For example, someone could say to me "I hate your face" ...and? What am I supposed to do about it? Then there's the painfully obvious truths, the likes of which pointing out serves no purpose. "You're fat, you should go on a diet or something". Sure, the last bit is helpful advice, but 1) like they haven't heard it, and 2) unless they're your friend, why the hell do you care, and why the hell should they take your advice? If the person in question is your friend, I'm almost certain you can provide more support than playing the "Captain Obvious" role, perhaps suggesting to work out with them or sympathy diet with them or something. Another painfully obvious truth "You should stop smoking, it causes lung cancer and smells bad". Again, if it's a stranger, why is their business any of yours? If it's a friend, there's more constructive ways to 'help', if indeed you want to help the person as opposed to merely demonstrating your relative superiority. So, besides euphemisms and keeping your mouth shut, any other misplaced uses of "politeness"? |
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||bass Administrator  Since: 11-17-05 From: Salem, Connecticut Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6297 days |
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Originally posted by TommathyThis actually happened before. You know what I did. I stopped smoking after enough people said it. Don't knock on that kind of negative reinforcement. It really works. I now chew 5000 peices of nicorette per day. |
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Kutske Since: 11-19-05 Last post: 6644 days Last view: 6644 days |
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| I don't think that politeness automatically equates dishonesty. Not everyone is a bitter, hateful little prick who despises everyone around him -- it's quite possible that a person's honest opinion is a nice one. Also, as was said, political correctness is a completely different issue.
As for me, I believe you can be honest and polite at the same time. If you were served a home cooked meal and it tasted terrible to you, most people would lie and say they liked it. I think the proper thing to do is tell them that it didn't taste good to you, but reassure them that you appreciate the gesture, regardeless. Similarly, if a woman asks her boyfriend how she looks in a particular dress and he thinks she doesn't look so great in it, he shouldn't lie and say the dress looks great on her, he should tell her that that particular dress doesn't look good on her, while also reminding her that he thinks she looks beautiful all the time. But overly gushy politeness sometimes comes with the territory. Take the Japanese concept of honne and tatemae, for example; some things are best kept to oneself, but you don't necessarily have to outright lie to avoid social disaster. We can't all be Mugen all the time, there are occasions when we have to be like Jin. In the end, I think people who zealously tout being honest with people instead of being polite with them tend to be judgemental and insecure; they have to put down everyone else to feel good about themselves, which is sad. What's important in my mind is being honest with oneself -- that's a skill that few people master and fewer still apply. Sion: It is dishonesty, thats why I always tell the truth no matter how hard it may be. I just tells it like it is. Somehow, I strongly doubt there is absolute truth to those words. Picture this; you walk out of your bedroom looking disheveled and you bump into your mom in the hallway. She asks, "Were you just jacking off in there?" You were. What are you going to tell her? edit: ignore these edits, sorry =( (edited by Yoshi Dude on 02-08-06 12:43 AM) (edited by Yoshi Dude on 02-08-06 12:44 AM) (edited by Yoshi Dude on 02-08-06 12:44 AM) |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6326 days Last view: 6304 days |
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| Guys I think I have a solution; it doesn't matter, just what people think of you.
Danielle is attempting to fix the thread (edited by Danielle on 02-08-06 04:52 PM) |
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geeogree Red Cheep-cheep Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6311 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| in most of the cases that people have mentioned, I'd rather know the truth about why rather than have someone try and coddle me and worry about my feelings.
the truth is so much more useful. At least when someone is honest you can take that into account and maybe improve yourself. Of course there are some things you can't "fix" but there are always things you can do to improve yourself. If you are never told the truth about yourself then you may not think there is anything that needs improving. I realize I'm far from perfect in many ways, but I do appreciate when someone tells me that something I do bothers them. It doesn't mean I'll change neccesarily, but at least I know and can adjust my behavior if I want to. I think the lack of honesty causes more problems than not. I'm not suggesting that people need to be outright mean, but don't lie all the time just to keep someone happy. |
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Trapster King Dedede Since: 11-19-05 From: Sweden Last post: 6405 days Last view: 6297 days |
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Wtf happened with the tables? 
And I mostly tell people the truth these days. I lied more when I was younger and felt bad because of that. |
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6326 days Last view: 6304 days |
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| Whoa, this has become a trippy thread maaan.
Ran-Chan did you not close a tag? |
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Trapster King Dedede Since: 11-19-05 From: Sweden Last post: 6405 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| No, it was like this when I entered the thread.
I think itīs you. |
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Zem Permabanned. Flaming, trolling, reregistering. Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6620 days Last view: 6620 days |
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| The ruinous post is one of windwaker's. I was thinking of PMing a mod to fix it, but I decided not to bother. ;o | |||
Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6298 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| ...All that over a ". | |||
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6297 days |
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| Well, the board has been silly about " recently, I tried to edit a post once and it kept stripping out all of my ". | |||
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windwaker Ninji i'm not judgemental, i'm cynical Lonely People of the World, Unite! Since: 12-27-05 Last post: 6326 days Last view: 6304 days |
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Deleted User Banned    Since: 05-08-06 Last post: None Last view: 6297 days |
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Originally posted by ||bass Well, I hate some people on this board, yet they all call me a lier ^__^. I am being upright and honest about hating them, so what do you think of that? Some people aren't as good with words as other people, and when the 'higher power' people say things about the regular member, the regular member can't do jack shit. Especially if the 'higher power' person kisses everyones ass . |
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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - General Chat - Does politeness = dishonesty |
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