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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - Pornography? |
New poll |  | Thread closed |
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How often do you look up pornography?| Never |
33.3%, 12 votes | Once a week |
11.1%, 4 votes | 1-5 times a week |
11.1%, 4 votes | 5-10 times a week |
19.4%, 7 votes | 10+ times a week |
25.0%, 9 votes | Multi-voting is disabled. 36 users have voted.
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Valcion Knuckle Joe too much high power man                   Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| If you really thought there was nothing wrong with you, then you wouldn't get all defensive when someone even says "You might wanna get that checked out" in a kind gesture. You know, its kinda like the people that go "I'M NOT GAY" all the time when anyone even slightly jokes about it. Wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself if you felt secure in the matter.
if clothed girls do it for you, then more power to you. |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji   Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| The only reason I feel insecure is because I hate people assuming I'm something I'm not--that's just a trait of mine.
If you were assuming I hated Playstation or XBox simply because I love Nintendo and started telling me I was just a hopeless Nintendo fan-boy, etc., I would be just as defensive about it--this just happens to be a more personal matter. So I don't quite agree with you when you tell me I wouldn't be defensive. I don't think there's anything wrong with me, I just know that I'm weird, and I don't like people probing at it and implying that me being weird is wrong and needs to be corrected. Whether he said that in a polite way or not, he still implied that there was something innately wrong with me. Would you enjoy it if someone did that to you? It may simply be that I'm just more sensitive to certain things, I don't know. There are plenty of people who, I dunno, simply don't like being accused of being something they're not. Maybe I'm alone on this, but it seems kind of normal to me. When random strangers joke about my sexuality, I don't really find it humorous. Perhaps if I knew people here better, it wouldn't offend me because I knew they were joking. *shrug* |
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Jomb Deddorokku   Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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Take a deep breath, it's gonna be ok 
I did'nt say you were gay, i said you may be asexual. Regardless, you are not typical for a male human. I know a psychiatrist who would love to meet you, because he told me repeatedly that every single human male either has sex, masturbates regularly, or has a medical problem and if they say different they are lieing. Probably 99% of heterosexual males are turned on by seeing a woman nude, NOT turned off by it. That is abnormal, which is not a judgement on you, it is a simple fact. That same psychiatrist would tell you that if you are'nt masturbating, and you are'nt having sex, and you have a sex drive at all, then it is going to come out somehow, and he would be worried that it could come out in an inappropriate way. Not that i'm saying that, but i swear to god that is what he'd say because i heard it all before. Why do you think porn is a problem in our society? explain it then because i'm apparently not getting what your saying. Porn is not addicting like nicotine is. It is at best psychologically addictive for a very small number of people. Those people can be treated for it and have normal lives, its not like they will get cancer and have no possibility of a recovery, and its not like they are harming other people by looking at photos in a private space. The only time i'd agree with you that it is a problem would be in cases where the models in the photo were unwilling and were forced or tricked into being in the photo, but we have laws against that. To live a normal life you will have to overcome your fear of nudity, or find a woman who also is turned off by nudity and does'nt really want any sex, but she would be just as abnormal and rare as you. Once again i'm using abnormal not as an insult, but as a simple statement of fact. |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| Just because we have laws against it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
We have laws against murder, too.  '
And a psychological addiction is STILL an addiction. And for some people, porn is as addicting as nicotene, if not more so, because I'm thinking that the nature of testosterone is much more powerful than most drugs. Again, I would LOVE to understand how you people seem to know doctors who can alter one's sex drive. Because if I could do that, I'd probably make mine die for a few years until I actually have a wife, or something. And dude, what the hell, man? You people keep on assuming things about me. XD Please tell where it was I said I didn't masterbate--I didn't.  I NEVER said that, because that would be a flat-out lie. Like I said, some of you seem to be jumping to conclusions here. I DO masterbate like a lot of guys my age, I just don't look up porn to do it, because naked women just do not arouse me. Women do, just not naked ones. And I'm obviously not proud that I masterbate, but yea, I'm not having sex, so I have to do something with that sexual tension. It's a lot better than letting my hormones make me act stupid and do something I might regret.
I don't think I could be asexual when I'm attracted to women--do you? And looking at porn CAN be harmful to people. After all, drinking alcohol and getting drunk doesn't necessarily hurt anyone until you get in a car, and smoking doesn't necessarily hurt people until they have to breathe in the 2nd-hand smoke. Sometimes abuse of pornography CAN lead to other people being hurt--there's this thing called rape, ya see. I'm not saying pornograpy leads to rape, but I have a feeling that abuse of it can be an influence in some way. And for the 11th time, (is it? I lost track) I apologize for saying that porn is some big problem, but it CAN be a problem in certain cases. Maybe next time I shouldn't be the one to volunteer and be open with myself because it only leaves me hanging out to dry while I get probed, which, ya know, is uncomfortable.  (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-07-06 08:35 PM) |
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candrodor Red Goomba Since: 12-31-05 Last post: 6367 days Last view: 6367 days |
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| And like someone else pointed out before, it's not really the *porn* that *makes* you rape someone. If you're predisposed to it already, I suppose. I'm hardly an expert, but as long as the watcher has his/her own idea of fantasy/reality, and the line between, it should be fine. Of course, if you're using it a lot, then it might well affect your work and social life, then it's *definitely* time to cut back. In fact, we agreee. Porn in itself doesn't make you rape people etc, although as you say, abuse of it, which in my view would be watching excessively when you don't have a clear boundary between reality and fantasy, can be an influence.
Note: Not ever having been a rapist, I'm not the best person to be making these assumptions, and neither are you <,<;; But we can still make sensible debate over it. Also, I had a feeling you'd say you masturbate, but not until you had to. I masturbate without porn mostly, and it's good. Good for you for having your own way of doing things, but just be sure you know *why* you do what you do. I say that to loads of people. Really understanding why we do things helps you understand yourself. ololhowdeepwasthat. |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| Um...So, basically, your first paragraph was what I just said... What, exactly, am I 'predisposed' to? I just said what you said: porn doesn't lead to rape, but abuse of it can be a bad influence. That's what I said in my last post, correct? I didn't say it DOES lead to rape, I said it CAN, just like how violent video games CAN lead to murder--obviously, you almost always have a screwed up person to begin with, but a bad influence on a mentally unstable person is certainly still a bad influence.
Neither of us are rapists, so you're right, but no one here is a doctor, either, and yet people have suggested I require a 'checking out.' *shrug* So there ya go. We're allowed to have opinions. I don't believe I've ever said a single time that no one should ever look up porn. Why I do what I do? Maybe because I have a sex drive and sexual tension builds up after a while...? Why else? I don't do it for the sheer joy of it, because if I had complete choice, like I said, I'd rather eliminate my sex drive for some while and wait until I'm able to have sex with someone. Unfortunately, we don't really have a choice when it comes to that sort of thing. |
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Anya  Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6281 days |
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Do not ask me why, because I honestly do not know (I think its some mental problem that I have) but after about ten or so minutes of watching porn vids, I start to feel guilty and I have to stop.  |
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Kingpin Since: 11-21-05 From: Amarillo, TX Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| I do that too. I will download a couple of vids, watch some of them, then feel guilty, delete all the porn i have and just stop watching them. Usually stays that way for a week or so, then I will catch myself glancing at something else. | |||
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| Yea, I know that feeling (materbation) and obviously, a lot of guys here feel that way, especially since they consider concentrating on lustfiul thoughts as a sin and all...
I'm honestly not so sure about it all myself. I just know it's a bad habit that can be cut down with self-control and discipline, which is what I've been working on lately. (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-08-06 06:03 PM) |
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Jomb Deddorokku Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| just because something happens once in a great while and is illegal, does not mean people should alter their lives about it, otherwise we'd have gotten rid of automobiles a long time ago
a psychological addiction is not nearly as bad as a physical one, especially when the addiction is on something which is not physically harmful, in that case it borders on just being a personal choice. Maybe for me playing 4 hours of video games a day is just fun, while you may think thats excessive and an addiction, but at the end of the day it just comes down to how you choose to live your life, what makes you happy. Having testosterone is the natural state of the male, it is not something to fight against. If you really wanted to fight against testosterone you could be neutered, so how about it? did'nt think so!
If you masterbate and you like women, then is it safe to assume you think of women while you do it? Are you imagining a woman in a burka? It just so happens that i have worked with sex offenders before when i was in college, and all research i've seen suggests that there is no link between pornography and rape. Someone who looks at porn is no more or less likely to commit a rape. I've known several rapists who had an aversion to it, they needed the real thing to get off, so they went out and raped instead of looking at porn. Millions of people die every year due to nicotine addiction, you'd be hard pressed to come up with one who died from looking at porn. Maybe somewhere some old guy got too excited and had a heart attack or something, but its probably less likely than death by shark bite in the midwest. Masterbation is a perfectly natural act, and nothing to be ashamed of. Even some animals masterbate in the wild. It is your upbringing that has made you fearful and shameful of it which is making you feel that way. My advice to you is to be less sensitive to everything, i've not said anything as an insult to you but i bet you take it that way. I dont think i'm typing in all caps (edited by Jomb on 02-08-06 08:46 PM) |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| Oh, no, you're fine. I know I'm sensitive. I only take offense when people decide to assume things about me they don't know but treat them as fact and make suggestions on how to change those things, implying that there's something wrong with me when they don't even KNOW me. Of course, even if someone doesn't mean it that way, if that's the way I interpret it, I'll get upset about it.
But...dude, my upbringing? What, you think I was brought up in some candy-coated Churchland? LOL. Bullshit. That's the only thing I find offense at, but only because you stated your sentence as fact, as if you somehow know how I was brought up and know that it is the source of some problem, which therefore implies that my sexuality is some problem that should be fixed or altered. And even then, it doesn't offend me that much, because I know you didn't mean to insult or mock. I was raised as a child in a world dealing with racism (and I'm white, yet racism was shoved down my face every day), verbal, mental, physical, sexual abuse... My 'father' at the time was a drug abuser, too, and real bad. He was drunk or high half of the time. So, yet again, don't say as a fact that you know my upbringing is making me shameful or fearful. All of the shit I dealt with as a kid didn't make me think it was OK to participate in it--it did the opposite. It made me realize how shitty and stupid that crap was at an early age.
And I'm not fearful of my sexuality. If I was afraid, I wouldn't be protesting about it. When I'm afraid, I suck in all the advice I can get, not shove it away. Shameful? Not really. I only feel weird because I'm different. I'm shameful that I decided to trust the people here by being open with my sexuality and I'm shameful that I didn't foresee me being so sensitive about it. And although psychological addictions may not be so bad when it comes to porn, all physical addictions are partially psychological. Drugs can aim to fix physical problems, but there are some psychological problems that no drug can fix. Physical and psychological stuff are not two totally separate, unconnected things. Some people are addicted to coffee, but not by choice. Same with cigarrettes. Physically, you could just stop smoking. But there is a psychological addiction, too, so it's not just a choice. I'm not even sure what a burka IS...But yes, I do picture women when I masterbate, since you asked. And testorone may be normal, but that doesn't mean you should let it control you. It IS something to fight against, because letting your penis think for you instead of your brain hardly ever did anyone any good in the end. I've never said anything to say I was gay, but some people took it that way. XD It's all because people assume things. Which is fine and natural, everyone does that, I just don't like it when assumptions get placed on people and treated as fact. (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-09-06 01:18 AM) (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-09-06 01:19 AM) (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-09-06 01:20 AM) |
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Jomb Deddorokku Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| I'm not suggesting you change anything, if you are happy the way you are then there is no reason to change anything.
When i mentioned your upbringing i was referring to when you said it made you feel sinful and gulty when you masterabted, which is a religious viewpoint, and people generally are brought up into a religion. But now that you mention your childhood and explain more i'm now convinced its your childhood which is why you are uncomfortable with sexuality. I'm not a psychologist (though at one time i was a college student majoring in psychology), but most psychologists are going to see a grown heterosexual man finding naked women unattractive as abnormal, and when you tell them there was sexual abuse in your past they with go "ah em" and write something down in their little notebook. Most people who have been abused go one of 2 routes... they either become hyper-sexualized, or they develop an aversion to all things sexual. They'd say you took the latter route. Though there is a mental addiction to something like smoking, the physical addiction is by far the harder thing to break, because it literally alters your brain chemistry. Compare the rates of people being able to quit cracking knuckles or chewing nails to quitting smoking. a burka is that thing the women in the middle east sometimes wear that looks like a bee-keepers outfit. No you should'nt let your penis control you, but you should'nt hide from it either wield it with responsibility *L* |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| Yes, resonsibily being the key word.
That's like saying that it's OK to let your ten year old with no driving experience take control of your car--as long as he's responsible.
Unfortunately, people have a bad habit of not being responsible. I'd imagine my past no doubt affects who I am now, but I think there's more to it than just that. About physical addictions...mental addictions entail physical ones, too. Your brain and your body are connected, and thus when one is altered, so is the other, in some way, shape, or form. Being addicted to pornography may not be quite as physically addicting as you may think, but it has a LOT to do with your body--duh, it's your hormones leading you. But it's also mental, too, because if you aren't actually touching a girl, etc., you're imagining it, and sometimes, people can get addicted to the imagery itself. It's this thing called 'lust,' I believe. Ya know, like...what St. Augustine is famous for. Burka? Burkas don't do anything for me, either, since you can't even tell there's a woman underneath them. I guess...jeans and a T-shirt, ya know. Just normal clothes. Once it starts getting to bikini-esque levels, it starts turning me off. *shrug* Anyway, I'm in an accountability group now, so that's encouraging me to not dwell on sexual stuff like masterbation so much. Of course, since masterbation is more of a stress reliever than anything else for me, I've been a little more stressed out, but that gets remedied when I play games (DAMN! Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt are STILL FUN, 20 years later!) or concentrate on other hobbies. There's guys here that haven't masterbated in months and have never looked up pornography/haven't looked up in months/years. But since they have so many other things going on in their life, it's not a problem for them, I guess. *shrug* (edited by D3stiny_Sm4sher on 02-15-06 12:31 AM) |
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geeogree Red Cheep-cheep Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6294 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| something I've always heard that helps if you want to look at less pornography or masturbate less is to work out.
Excercise tires you out and releases endorphins that make you feel good and relive stress. It does have it's own types of stress like sore muscles but that turns into bigger muscles and better health after a while. As for me, I think pornography is a huge waste. It wastes time for those that watch it and it wastes otherwise useful people from doing something good with their lives. I also think it is the cause of many many divorces. It causes lies and creates distrust. I think people would be better off without it. |
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D3stiny_Sm4sher Ninji Since: 02-04-06 From: Searching for t3h g4t3... Last post: 6325 days Last view: 6325 days |
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| There you go right there. That's a lot of stuff I think about when I say, "Pornography is stupid and can be bad."
I didn't even think about the marriage thing, but it's true--pornography does lead to a lot of marrital issues. Exercise, eh? I'm not much of a 'work-out' person, but that's because if I DO exercise, my brain has nothing to do, and thus I wind up thinking about all of the things I'm worried about, thus defeating the purpose of relieving stress. If exercising means playing raquetball with a friend or jogging with a friend, or walking witha friend, I'm all for that, because then I can concentrate on my friend instead of my own worries. I also think people would be better off without pornography. According to our poll, not as many people (here, anyway) look it up as I might've guessed. |
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Valcion Knuckle Joe too much high power man Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| You do realize what you're saying is akin to saying "video games cause violence," right? (edited by Valcion Mk. II on 02-16-06 12:55 AM) |
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Jomb Deddorokku Since: 12-03-05 From: purgatory Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| At its heart this issue comes down to personal choice, saying that because you are against it, no one else should be allowed to enjoy it is kinda fascist. For every divorce it causes due to one partner being an ass about it, there are likely at least as many which are saved when one partner simply masterbates instead of cheating for real. There are even couple who enjoy viewing it together, if you can wrap your mind around that |
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geeogree Red Cheep-cheep Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6294 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Valcion: it's sort of like that.... except that video games don't cause violence.... people do
I just think it's a cause of a lot of divorces.... the deception and lies and wasted time and possibly money too (which is quite often a problem).... some people have porn addictions that cost hundreds of dollars a month. Sure... it's "better" than sleeping with someone.... but I would wonder how many women would consider it almost equally as bad or damaging to the relationship (assuming it's a hidden habit). Jomb: if people didn't watch it, it wouldn't get made. If people want to watch it then so be it. People do all sorts of things that could be considered a bad choice. I just think there are a lot of things more worthwhile than pornography and masturbation that people could be doing. Maybe not as desireable given the option of which to do.... but still.... I think it's something people waste time on. and yeah, some people do enjoy porn as a couple.... as part of sex... that's kinda strange, but not uncommon I'm sure. |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon  Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6286 days |
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| Porn isn't that big of a deal.
I don't know why everyone here is calling it a serious addiction. Does it hurt anyone? No. The women who are in porn WANT TO BE IN PORNOS. And if you're so insecure that you consider your significant other watching porn as cheating on you..... you don't deserve to be in a relationship. I'm sorry. You have some major trust issues. People spend more money on videogames than porn. That's more of an addiction financially speaking. People are addiction to consumption. You have to have your cellphone, iPod, Xbox, TV, new computer.... technology is a far more expensive addiction than porn. Porn = not bad. In fact, masturbation is healthy. You get the horny out... so you're not pressuring people into having sex with you. Because, it's a basic animal instinct... that's not going to go away. No matter how much god hates masturbation. |
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Tripcode Mel (USER WAS TOTALLY AWESOME FOR THIS POST) Since: 11-18-05 From: さげMOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT Last post: 6284 days Last view: 6284 days |
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*Wanders off.* |
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