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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Who are my friends? |
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Sin Dogan   860  Uoodo Original Blend Armored Trooper Votoms Canned Coffee!                   Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6299 days |
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| I'm not depressed, angry, or feeling anything too severe, I'm just dissappointed.
Dissappointed in my friends. I mean I've been with some of them for ten years now and I still have not hung out with them too often over that span. What constitutes a friendship? I wonder. They've never really had the habit of calling me up to ask what my plans are. They NEVER seem to be interested in what I'm doing. On AIM I'm always the one to initiate a conversation if they don't need some minor tech question to be answered. Time and time again I have been let down by them, never feeling quite like the others in the group. Never feeling like I had any true friends. Why? Why did I let myself become like this? Because I remember every second I did spend with them I cherished. I remember each stay at their houses vividly. Only because I have a lot less to remember. I should have listened to myself earlier, but instead kept getting my hopes up for the day they would ask me to hang out with them. We have all changed throughout the years. The boy who was once the kid who never cursed changed to the goofy kid who did the hammer dance on stage. They began to drink and party and do other things while I kept inside of me the morals I considered right. So, knowing that going to a party is not what I consider as fun, I had to distance myself further.(I've been to parties and I really hate seeing people get drunk) More and more throughout the years I have had to stay with my family at home when my friends did whatever. Only recently am I understanding things like my financial status, my siblings' education, my mother's health and how important they are to me. Maybe I should let go of my friends who have just let me down and know and pursue my goals and what is truly precious to me. During the long winter break, I had been expecting to see my friends, most of whom I hadn't for six months. I asked each one like every single day to tell me if something's going on. They agreed to it. Only once did I go out with them. I was super excited. We went around the mall in circles for like 2 hours and acted like it was another day. I had more fun buying clothes with my mom and sisters. During the recent first semester in college, I had longed to forge new friendships. I met this one really cool guy who had everything in common with me from videogames to music to anime. The only problem was that he drinks beer and smokes weed. Going to his parties make me feel really uncomfortable. I honestly find and have found a lot more fun just talking with my friends rather than using substances. Well, after being placed on academic probation, I have finally realized the seriousness of attaining a job as a doctor. My goals to fight disease and create peace and unity are top priority now. We're in one of the smallest towns and yet we have managed to stay apart. (edited by Jin Dogan on 01-20-06 01:14 AM) |
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MathOnNapkins 1100  In SPC700 HELL  Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| It's not like you can just design your ideal friends and make them come to life. Unless you and your friends really click (which is rare), expect to feel somewhat left out once in a while. But if you feel left out allllll the time then you're probably just wasting your time. People diverge in interests as adults, it's very hard to deal with but I feel you on that. Sharing an interest can be good, but if it's the basis of the whole friendship you'll have a hard time talking about other stuff.
As far as the substance abuse goes, I can understand you're not wanting to be in the presence of drugs and alcohol. However, not everyone who smokes pot is a degenerate, not everyone who gets drunk is out of control. I'm not all for those activities, I don't smoke pot but I do drink fairly often. (And heavily once in a while). |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6296 days Last view: 6295 days |
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| Well I'm younger than you, but I sort of just went through the same thing. My group of friends that I've had ever since I moved here have split apart. It seems everyone in that group except myself has moved to drinking, drugs, and whoring themselves. They don't think school is important anymore, they have parties on weekends, and (though I wouldn't accept, because I'm very much against that sort of thing) they never call me up. On AIM, I try to talk to them. I spend lunch at school with them trying to find something to talk about. But it's impossible now, the only thing on their mind is exactly what I hate.
Lucky for me, I've found a new group of friends who are more like me, and seem to appreciate me as a friend. I am glad to have them, but I'm still so disappointed in my old friends. I wish I could know what happened, when it seemed we all had the same high goals in middle school. But that's life, isn't it. |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon  Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6316 days Last view: 6302 days |
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| Well.. people drift apart. During your teen years is when you develop your interests.. you finally gain experience to start forming your own philosophies on how you want to spend your time, and what you want to do in life. People who don't form these ideas in their teen years run into problems later in life.. obviously. Basically, it's the time when you define yourself and grow a spine to live the rest of your life. People develop different interests.. and grow apart.
The not calling thing and not hanging out thing happened to me and my old group of friends. Eventually, I stopped talking to them.. and I was pretty lonely for a while.. and then I went to a school where none of them went (highschool). I made new friends and had good times.. and when I transferred out of the highschool I went to during freshmen year.. and into my current school.. I saw my old friends. My lunch period, I barely knew anyone.. and I went up to some of these people.. and for 45 MINUTES they were talking about shoes. I'm not kidding. So, yeah.. I just started hanging out with people I knew from like kindergarten to 5th grade before middle school... yeah, childhood friends. And I've never been with a group that's more genuine [=.. I'm loving it. Point? You have to make and re-make and un-make friendships. Why be friends with people who don't appreciate you? Yeah, you might've known them a long time ago.. but you don't know them anymore. Stop calling them.. and make new friends. It's easy. Talk to the people around you in class.. if you vaguely know someone.. walk up to them at lunch annd be like "Yo! Whuddup dawg!!" This comedian said it the best.. I love his philosophy on life. It was that you should "approach your life like a rock star". Meaning, that everything you do... be as enthusiatic as a rock star is on stage. Like, every conversation, everytime you have to take a test.. everytime you have to do anything.. just approach it with enthusiasm. People like that.. just like.. being spunky. I don't know.. what I'm trying to say is.. be confident when approaching people. I used to hate partying and drinking and smoking.... but yeah, now I do that stuff to.. and I have alot of fun. I manage to keep my grades at 95, which is like kickass.. and it's just good fun sometimes. Not all the time though. Smoking and sitting in a circle with your friends and an acoustic guitar is fun though... hahah. And I second what MathOnNapkins said... not everyone who smokes pot is a degenerate, and not everyone who gets drunk is out of control. There are a lot of stupid people who drink and smoke... no doubt... but not all of them are stupid. And don't look down on people for doing that stuff.. I used to look down on people. It's not cool.. made me alienate myself from human contact. |
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Sin Dogan 860 Uoodo Original Blend Armored Trooper Votoms Canned Coffee! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6299 days |
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| I don't consider them degenerates because they drink and smoke. I'm just saying I don't do those things and I don't enjoy going to parties where such activities are seen all around. I have thought many times over that maybe they aren't people I share interests with. Yet, the only way that is true is that they are much more interested in sports than I am. Otherwise, we all enjoy the same stupid jokes(I crack myself up when I'm reminded of past, albeit few, funny experiences) and have similar interests. I'm just not ready to dismiss them just yet. | |||
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6316 days Last view: 6302 days |
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| These sounds like friends you'll see every once in a while. I'll still stick to trying to hangout with different people more frequently.. if you want to try and find friends who you can relate to better. | |||
Black Lord + Flurry Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6297 days Last view: 6298 days |
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| Screw friends and the whole concept of friends. They'll eventually fuck you over in the end anyway. | |||
Yoronosuku Toss Tortoise Since: 11-17-05 From: Massachusetts is my new home.. Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6295 days |
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I only have a few very close friends because I learned that its hard to keep bonds when people change so much. I didn't mean for it to happen that way, we all just grew apart...as much as it hurts, it is a thing of life, and you'll end up meeting new people who you'll find you can grow close to for your time together at your stage of life. Sometimes even the closest of friends don't always stay together--other times they do. I've had to accept it, and as difficult as it is, I'm sure that in time you will learn to accept it, too  |
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