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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Officer's Club - Club for the lonely-hearted |
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xXxHeadhunterxXx Goomba                Since: 11-26-05 Last post: 6286 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| (This should be stickied)
Have anything to say concerning your oh-so overwhelming and unsuccessful love life? Is it troubling you so much that you're beginning to feel depressed about it? Have you ever felt left out and misfortunate because other people have something or someone you wished you could have (I, of course, can relate to that)? If so, this is the place to do it. Don't let it get to you any further. Vent out all your sadness and frustration here. My love life has been nothing short of depressing. If there was but one word to describe it's saddening nature, it's this: TRAGIC. In more ways than one, I'm beginning to feel like I just don't belong in the love world. I feel like I always have flash backs to some of the most depleting moments in my life (all of which are girl-related of course) and I just don't know how much more I can take before I reach the end of a vicious and seemingly everlasting cycle of rejection. It all started in middle school with this one girl. Keep in mind that I was only in Middle School and had much to learn about love, but nonetheless I took it up the rear from somebody I really cared about. Yes, I said it right, I got bitched out, by somebody who wasn't who I thought she was. Call it a rookie lover mistake if you will, but it happened nonetheless. I was feeling down for a while, but I soon recovered, only to have love come back at me for more... The next phase then goes out to somebody I liked, and was told that that same person felt the same way by numerous people. I felt I was in the open and could make a move, but never did. Infact, I was a complete coward, waiting until the last minute to TRY and say something, and at that last minute, I find that she's now dating some other kid and that they've just started going out. I didn't care that I was being harrassed by other kids at the time. When I found out about it, my heart literally sank. I was just too saddened to think or worry about anything else. This entire tragedy (she's single one day, runs away from me the next minute, and finds another kid a matter of weeks later) reoccured. It was a painful reoccurance. I felt like I've failed and that I let myself down. It was a terrible thought that just wouldn't seem to go away. Going on to High School during my Sophomore year. Nothing terrible or tragic happened love-wise during my Freshman year. Infact, that was the year which I've began to develop feelings for this one girl, and it carried over into summer where I would think about her every day when I was by myself, and soon into the following school year. Unfortunately, I had to keep that thought stored up inside of me for some time, like an entire semester's time persay. Yes, that's right. I never got the chance to see her. Ever, save for a select few times where I would see her for brief moments in the halls and whatnot. I truly had feelings for her, yet I was never able to say "hi" or anything. I had to keep imagining our being together, and never actually getting a chance to hopefully make those thoughts become a reality. Then the second semester rolled around and I began to see her more, namely at lunch. That's when I got to let her know how I truly feel about her. I even managed to get her attention doing it, like she's beginning to look into my eyes and start to share similar feelings with me, or at least, certain feelings strayed not far from that. I literally began to feel the momentum swinging in my direction. I felt like the cold streak was over... but boy was I wrong. It wasn't over. Infact, the very next day I was blessed with the unfortunate truth: that she had her eye on somebody else and that he felt the same way about her. The next week, they begin dating and I go into yet another crushed phase of total heart break and distrust in myself to succeed later on. Now, I could continue to type away the lengthy details regarding this, but I'll just sum it up by saying that I was in the middle of talking to her at lunch periodically, setting my shyness aside and opening up to her whenever I had the chance to... but then someone-someone I knew-took her away from me. In the end, I was left with nothing but broken dreams and a shattered heart, and felt like I was much too in the downlow to pick up the pieces. I felt like I was done (with loving) there for sure, knowing I had the one person who I really cared about and longed for... taken from me. Does it end there? Ooooohh no. It doesn't. I later was challenged into going for somebody who I again was told she had feelings for me, but she never budged when I would open up to her. She would deny it, sitting in one place and ignoring me as if she never actually cared. Alas, the cold streak continues... And now more recently, I get into yet another one of those phases with somebody else, where I spend one short period of time talking to this other girl, but eventually the news struck that she just started dating somebody else. I knew that from there, when I found out she had a boyfriend, that my luck had worn thin. That was the exclamation point. I knew that, from there, my chances of getting together with her were very slim. No matter how hard I tried, I knew it wouldn't be the same playing field as the one before she met this one guy. I merely try, through immense shyness and an inability to communicate and all, but in the end, I'm only told what I knew would ensue by the end of it all: that I was only being an annoyance to her by trying to be nice and everything. I was told right to my face by my Dad (who I don't want getting into my personal life AT ALL BTW, or my Mom for that matter. If I had my way, I would keep them both out of this and actually keep my personal life... well, personal), who I knew was only going to further deviate my chances of living a successful love life the way he handles these personal subjects, always telling me what I don't want to hear. That's him in a nutshell. And because of it, I felt depressed and lonely yet again about this. I felt my confidence sink to an all new low, never rising back up again. I felt like I was done, like I was worthless. I felt the pain swell up inside of me, never seeming to go away. I knew I was scared. For life. Because of this, I felt like I wouldn't love again, and at this very day, I'm still undecided of this. I don't know if I should go back to being the same old teenage reject that I always look at myself as with all these unsuccessful stabs at other girls. This, for me, is just too much to handle. Got any similar stories that you could only wish you could tell, maybe rinse off a few tears here and there? I knew that invariably I would find myself saying this, because my love life, as I know it, hasn't been treating me well. At all. I honestly don't know if I can go back to feeling all the pain in knowing that I failed at ever being successful or fortunate. I don't know how much more my deeply-wounded heart can take... |
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Black Lord + Flurry     Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| That's your problem, once you stop making your love life such a drama filled sad story that could be shown on daytime ABC, then it will start going good. Stop the whining and drama bullshit, and feeling bad for yourself, and go out and do something about it. There's more chicks than guys out there, so the odds are in your favor since you're a guy (not factoring in all the lesbians here, but that would make it so I'd have to factor out gay guys too, so it'd probably just even out anyway). So stop cuddling with the pillow every night when you go to bed, and find yourself a woman to cuddle with, and don't be nervous, because chicks all dig confident guys. | |||
Danielle     6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I agree.
I felt this way about the last "lonely hearted club" thread too. People in here talk about how their love life is in shambles, but they never do anything about it. You should. Go out, find a girl that you think you could go on a date with, and see how it goes. Not her? Try again. You'll find someone nice, and if it doesn't last forever, you'll find another. Sitting here moping about how your relationship is falling apart/you can't get a girl isn't going to help you. Sure, you may get advice, but I don't think anything has been said that you don't already know. |
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Deleted User Banned    Since: 05-08-06 Last post: None Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Danielle QFT, seriously. |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Course, it's not always easy to know what to do either, y'know 
Like the situation with me and the guy that I like / don't like / want to be friends with / want to sex a whole lot / etc.  It'd be a lot easier on me if he didn't fucken flirt with me so much. Like the sudden taking off of clothes and whatnot!! It messes with my little head  Not to mention it makes me think pervy things. 
Course, there isn't magic way of winning somebody over or knowing for sure if somebody likes you or whatever, so it's not much help posting about it on the internet. But I gotta admit, sometimes it's nice to just vent  |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon  Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| There was this boy who plagued me for three years. Went out with me, told me he loved me.. didn't love me. Cheated on me. Came back. Told me he changed. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. This summer he kissed me in his car, and immediatly after... let me know that it was no big deal. So I quit playing the victim and told him to seriously never talk to me again. He hasn't.. and I'm happy.
Take control of your love life.. don't let other people steer the wheel for you. Get out there and be like: "I am [insert name].. hear me ROAR!" Girls like confidence. Trust me, I'm a girl. |
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Black Lord + Flurry Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6281 days |
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Originally posted by Snow Tomato Yet you can cheat on your boyfriend because he lives so many miles away and you won't be with him til later. Bullshit. |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| It's not cheating if you're in an open relationship with both parties aware of what's happening with the other.
pwned. |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| It is cheating, you and your boyfriend just agree it's okay. For some crazy reason I'll never understand, and don't care to.
But oh well. Whatever floats your boat. |
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| It's cheating if you lie about it and try to cover it up.
Uh, we've gone terribly off topic. Time to add thoughts on the lonely hearted thread. ... mind blank-izing. Just yeah, take control of your love life. Like I said originally. [Edit] Okay, I don't want people to think I'm trampy.. so here goes my love life. It all started in kindergarten. I met a boy named John and we were best friends. Fast foward to fourth grade. My first kiss (no tongue), at my friends birthday party on her steps. Ever since then we were together, and yes I consider it a relationship.. because it lasted up until my freshman year of highschool. We grew up together, it was puppy love. He was a year older than I. So, he's in the summer before sophomore year for him.. and he decides that he likes to drink. Way. Too. Much. I tolerated it because we were together since.. well.. since I ever could remember. One night while I was sleeping at a friends house, I got a call from him sobbing drunk on the phone. Translators, his friends Kevin and Cush came on the phone and told me that he had cheated on me. We hadn't had sex.. but he had sex with a girl. So, uh... that was done. I was terribly hurt.. but got over it faster than I might have expected myself to with.. Greg. Oh god. I entered freshman year scared and lonely.. because I knew NO ONE. I was going to Laguardia, which is a two hour commute from my house.. there and back. I became friends with the Staten Island travellers.. and Greg was one of them. The first time I met him.. he hugged me when he said goodbye.. and he had me from that point on. I can't explain it if I tried. At first things were good.. he was innocent and adorable.. and actually really sweet and nice. He treated me how I've always wanted to be treated by a guy. I sware, the first December when we were going out.. were literally some of the best days of my life. Still, to this day. I found out he had kissed a girl once while we were going out, and I was willing to forgive........... like a dumb ass. But things went back to normal very fast.. and I was genuinely happy. Around March, my birthday.. things started getting weird. He stopped calling me.. we hung out less and I was scared of what was happening. In school he made a slew of new friends.. and became closer with older ones. By the middle of April he'd dumped me.. I was heartbroken. Even moreso than John.. and I don't know why. I guess cause we were older.. and things seemed more serious.. more real. So by the middle of May we're going back out again. Things were great... again. By the end of June we weren't going out anymore. I was heartbroken.. again. By the middle of July we were going out, and we entered a two month AMAZING period of our relationship. Literally better than ever... then one day, at the end of August.. he calls me and tells me that it's over. And that time, it really was. I cried so hard, I was broken.. upset.. confused.. distraught. He was with his friends on the phone and he did it so casually. I heard a girl laughing, I wanted to die. So, that's when everything started comming out. The truth about what he had been doing the whole time we were going out. He was cheating on me. The whole time. I didn't get over it for two years. I couldn't.. I was a mess. I didn't want to trust anyone.. and I wasn't ready to give myself up like that. During this time... I had hooked up with numerous people, but nothing felt the same. Nothing. Come winter of last year. December... I meet Austin. Nicest person in the universe. We just clicked so fast it was scary. I could talk to him for years and not get bored.. not kidding. If the December with Greg were some of the best days... this was HEAVEN sent. So what happens............ he moves to Vegas because of his dad's job. Um.. sucks. Alot. We stayed monogomous for a long time... we knew we were meant for each other. I'm talking.... talking to him for 10+ hours on the phone sometimes.. and never one akward silence.. never one pause.. never a frown. It's like that to this day. It's simply unexplainable. We talk about our spirituality alot... we believe like... the exact same thing.. and we had developed our theories about life before we had met each other. We think that we're meant to use our bodies to their fullest extent, and experience as much as we can... that way... we do learn the most we can. We don't waste our time here, even if we are comming around again.. because why would someone give you a body and life that's all yours... and you waste it wishing you were somewhere else? This is when we decided to have an open relationship. I don't even feel jealous at all when he tells me about girls... because I know he loves me, and that when we can be together... we will be day and night. It's a given... like how the sky is blue or the grass is green. We still continue to talk for like 10+ hours on the phone and we still love each other, and things are good. We're fine as long as things don't get too serious with other people. Other people will never be him, I know that. But whenever I'm getting into something with someone... I'm sure to tell them all about Austin before I go into it. The general thought pattern in the guys I've been seeing is "Well... he's 3,000 miles away.. in reality he's really just a friend... what do I care? He can't see her."... and that's the thought pattern of most of my friends. So the feelings of the guys here aren't getting hurt... so there's really not anything wrong with it. So this summer when we decided to "see other people"... immediately... Greg started taking an interest in me. Being weak and stupid and fooled... I kissed him in his car. After that he told me "it wasn't that big of a deal".... so I basically told him to have a nice life and not to talk to me or come near me. Because, I didn't mention this.. but he hangs around my house ALL THE TIME... because my parents LOVE HIM.. and he's like a brother to my sister. Like, literally.. on Sunday mornings he wakes me up at like 9:00 sometimes. He hasn't been here since I told him that. And I'm finally able to like.. be happy without being reminded of the pain he cause me... 9:00 on a sunday morning. Then there was Nick. Oh Nick. Basically what went down.. is the second to last night of summer.. we wanted to go CRAZY and have one wild last night. So four joints later... we crashed out on the beach near my house. The next morning we woke up and hung out at my house for a while.. and I dunno. He had hooked up alot at the beach, we we up basically all night.. and I kinda really liked him and he really liked me. However, I didn't want to get too close to him because of what's going on with Austin... so I think that made me shy away alot. It wasn't guilt, it was.. like.. I have a space reserved for Austin that people can't penetrate. We were getting *too* close. So, we stopped seeing each other.. but we're still really good friends. He was hurt a little bit.. but not that much.. he got a new girfriend fairly quickly. And he writes songs about me.. hah. At least they're effing amazing songs I can dance to. So right now, I'm seeing this boy Tom.. and he is very nice. I was sick and he even brought me a teddy bear to help make me feel better. His name is skittles. [=.. I promised Tom I wouldn't smoke for a month.. and have so far kept good on my promise. We don't get to see each other that much because he wrestles and I have musical practice at school all the time... so it's a comfortable balance. He's nice and he kinda keeps me under control, because I was kinda getting outta hand with the partying and whatnot. Forgot it wasn't summer anymore. I've been blessed in love thus far I think. Everything negative that happened... has just made me stronger. And I've really learned something different from every person I've been close with.. about the way the world works. For serious. And yes, I am still a virgin and plan to be one for a long time. Until I can see Austin... which is a long time. Say.. uh, College. (edited by Snow Tomato on 01-06-06 08:32 PM) |
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Deleted User Banned Since: 05-08-06 Last post: None Last view: 6280 days |
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| Actually, you know, I totally gotta go with Danielle on this, it is cheating even if you are honest about it. =\ | |||
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Snow Tomato Snap Dragon Since: 12-31-05 From: NYC Last post: 6300 days Last view: 6285 days |
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| But if you're honest about it and no one's being hurt..
How is that horribly unacceptable? |
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Deleted User Banned Since: 05-08-06 Last post: None Last view: 6280 days |
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If no one is really being hurt, I'd question the level of relationship you have with your boyfriend.  |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I don't understand how you two can love each other, but not care if the other is off doing everything but sex with someone else.
That's cheating, and you've got to be the first person I've met that encourages it in a "relationship." |
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netscape Grizzo Since: 12-30-05 Last post: 6309 days Last view: 6304 days |
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| Some people are just like that. Don't really matter to them. Cheating is kind of an ify thing. What's cheating to one person isn't cheating to another. Some people consider looking at porn cheating some don't.
Is swinging cheating? |
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Uncle Elmo Porcupo Loved up and ready to go :) Since: 11-24-05 Last post: 6295 days Last view: 6335 days |
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| Open relationships have always been difficult for me to accept, but I'm an old fashioned romantic soul, who's been cheated on a lot of times, so perhaps I'm biased. If it works for you, well good on you - I hope you two can eventually make it work when you find a way to be together - Trust though is what ALL relationships are based on, and I have a niggling feeling you may have irreperably damaged the trust you have in each other.
I agree though with what you say about being confident Snow, since being confident (online at least), and cutting down the self loathing, I've found that the opposite sex have taken a lot of interest in me - this usually contunies until I find out a) They have a boyfriend, or b) They see a picture of me. Someday I'll meet someone who's not shallow... at least I hope
As for any advice I can give anyone else about harbouring a broken heart - you can sit around all day and moan about how life stinks, but nothing will change untill you accept where you are, and get back on the very horse that's bolted (that's a questionable analogy, but you know what I mean). Get out there, see what life can throw at you, and if you STILL can't find anyone, it's not the end of the world! Relationships aren't what defines us, you can be a worthwhile and great person WITHOUT having a BF or GF. Blmey, did I really just type that? Whjat a difference 2 years makes. I am Ellis, hear me ROAR!!!!.... Meeeeow.... |
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Sin Dogan 860  Uoodo Original Blend Armored Trooper Votoms Canned Coffee! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| I've never really had a relationship and I've just been curious to see what girls think of me. Unfortunately, no one's gonna come up to me and tell me how good I look.(Or not) I'd really like one day to have a female partner to confide in, to love and to care. I really feel that I'd make a great boyfriend, and more importantly, a friend. Call me naive but it seems very easy to cater to someone's needs when you care about them. I just worry that with medical school and college and whatnot, I'll be too old by the time I'm financially ready to get married. | |||
Bella Red Paratroopa Since: 11-18-05 From: Mi Casa de Candy and RATE OR DIE Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| Yesterday..
The guy I've had a crush on since I started working at my job recieved my number from guess who, me! I didn't have my friend, co-worker, sister, mother, father, dog, or anyone give him the number. It was all me and I'm proud of myself that I could accomplish that. Now..it's waiting for the phone call. He's very shy, so I don't really even expect him to call but if he does I'll be like this  About 2-3 weeks ago I started having little conversations with him, with me directing it. He's even worse than me when it comes to this stuff. When he came and gave me things from my department twice in a row and he was fine, made eye contact, but when I actually went up to him and asked him questions he would look at me, look away, and make little eye contact. At first I thought maybe he was interested and couldn't do anything about it, but now I don't even know so if he calls he is, if he isn't its time to go to the club more .Other than that little crush, that doesn't involve love. I haven't had much of a love life up to this point.
I've had times where I'd feel lonely, especially in high school and now a few of my freinds have these real serious relationships and you think, when is it going to be my turn? But this time, Ive decided to take my own inititive . My friend said in high school he had this girlfriend and that they held hands and never really talked. And when this girl was trying to talk to him and stuff or be around him, that he looked like he wanted to run away or didn't know what to do. So I guess he has gotten better with it but not that good.(edited by Bella on 01-30-06 12:58 PM) |
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Wurl Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6320 days Last view: 6320 days |
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| The other day, a really ugly, annoying girl was hitting on me. I could deal with one of those deficencies, but not both. | |||
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MathOnNapkins 1100  In SPC700 HELL Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Was she fat too? B/c that would just be the icing on the cake.
Met a girl fitting all three of these criteria about a week ago. She ended up semi-raping my friend. |
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