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Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Craziness Domain - Consider this... New poll | |
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-01-06 08:10 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Cymoro
The bible or the magazine, because:

- They're easily replaceable
- Don't contain diseases.
- (Bible) If it's of cheap quality, is better for wiping, since it won't be glossy/semi-glossy.


The thing is though is that when you wipe with a rough paper, you don't want to have a paper cut in your butt. That would hurt, and rhymes!
Koitenshin +∞

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Since: 12-24-05
From: Misery

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Posted on 01-01-06 09:11 PM Link | Quote
^ I could see Jesus wiping his ass with the bible though.
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-01-06 09:39 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Jesus
WALLPAPER! No... um... let's see. Well, if the panties were recently washed, then the panties. If they're dirty, it would depend on what diseases the owner has. But it is an STD so it can only be transmitted through sexual contact... ... but still. I would probably use the Bible because I'm not that religious and they could just buy a new one!


I chose that one too! Hehe... That is a good joke though. Never realized that me, Jesus, was going to choose to wipe my butt with a Bible. Interesting. Still, I would use it even if I were religious. I mean who saw The Day After Tomorrow? They were going to burn the Bible. Burning it, wiping your ass with it, I see no difference!
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

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Posted on 01-01-06 09:47 PM Link | Quote
Is that what caused the really fast ice age? Religious crap?

EDIT: PUN NOT INTENDED ASDGFALDJF:ALSDJFLADJ

(edited by Alastor the Stylish on 01-01-06 08:47 PM)
DarkSlaya

930
Gamma Ray








Since: 11-17-05
From: Montreal, Canada

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Posted on 01-01-06 10:07 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Alastor the Stylish
EDIT: PUN NOT INTENDED ASDGFALDJF:ALSDJFLADJ



I would've seen nothing if it wasn't for that.


DIE BASTERD.
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-02-06 01:14 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by DarkSlaya
Originally posted by Alastor the Stylish
EDIT: PUN NOT INTENDED ASDGFALDJF:ALSDJFLADJ



I would've seen nothing if it wasn't for that.


DIE BASTERD.


I don't see one. Could someone point this out? My head hurts thinking about it... and launching poop...
HyperHacker

Star Mario
Finally being paid to code in VB! If only I still enjoyed that. <_<
Wii #7182 6487 4198 1828


 





Since: 11-18-05
From: Canada, w00t!
My computer's specs, if anyone gives a damn.
STOP TRUNCATING THIS >8^(

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Posted on 01-02-06 01:21 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Jesus
Originally posted by asdf
You are in the bathroom at somebody else's house, with feces spewing out your ass like never before. You finally get the last of them out and reach for the toilet paper...and you see that there is none. You decide that you have to use an alternative means to prevent...uhh...an ass clog. You have four choices. No matter what you choose, you would get away with it. They wouldn't have any idea that it was you, and would not believe you if you confessed to them.

- A Bible
- A new magazine, unread as of yet. The subscriber really loves this magazine.
- The front page of an old newspaper within a special-looking compartment. On it is news of the family's oldest son's greatest achievement, and it was a world-changing event.
- Panties in the laundry basket, the only item in there...however, you know that the owner has many STDs.

Those are the only four options you have. Now, this was a very big dump you took. Simply put, not wiping until you get home or using your own clothing is not an option.

NOTE: This is really just a different version of the "Would you bring harm upon yourself in order to ensure others aren't harmed?" question. It's basically a question of morality, only with toilet humor involved.


Does anyone read? The 4 options given to you are the only choices you have. Obviously some people didn't notice this.

Yes, but that's not true. I always wear underpants, so I could just use them. And chances are, there's a shower there.

...OK fine. If through some weird glitch in the fabric of time these really are the only options whatsoever, then like I said, use the magazine. Buy them a new one if it's that important to them.
Silvershield

580








Since: 11-19-05
From: Emerson, New Jersey

Last post: 6308 days
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Posted on 01-02-06 04:07 AM Link | Quote
It always baffles me when, given a hypothetical situation in which a set of specific options are provided, more people make up their own choice than choose one of those given. Is it so difficult, people, to understand that the purpose of this or any similar question is not to find out how you'd handle the literal circumstances? It's supposed to reveal something on a larger scale.

A while back, a topic came up asking whether one would rescue a drowning dog or a drowning man, given the ability to save only one. In a show of glaring, ludicrous stupidity, about ten times as many people remarked that they'd save both - often through some detailed account of the specifics of the strategy that would allow both dog and man to be rescued - as answered the question as it was intended.
spel werdz rite









Since: 11-19-05

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Posted on 01-02-06 04:17 AM Link | Quote
I'd use a little of each to piss everyone off! ^^
And for SS, I'd save the man, the life of a human is more important than a dog. Unless he were a total jackass and deserved it. Or if the dog were a really cute puppy.
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-02-06 04:32 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by spel werdz rite
I'd use a little of each to piss everyone off! ^^
And for SS, I'd save the man, the life of a human is more important than a dog. Unless he were a total jackass and deserved it. Or if the dog were a really cute puppy.


That's kinda mean... Anyways, as for SS, I would probably choose the man because he would pay me for his savor. And if he didn't, I would throw him right back in the water and go back for the dog if that's allowed.
Ailure

Mr. Shine
I just want peace...








Since: 11-17-05
From: Sweden

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Posted on 01-02-06 04:54 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Cymoro
The bible or the magazine, because:

- They're easily replaceable
- Don't contain diseases.
- (Bible) If it's of cheap quality, is better for wiping, since it won't be glossy/semi-glossy.
And you would have a blessed ass.

But the bible contains alot of diseases...

Eh, probably the panties. STD's don't spread through clothes, last I heard. ~_~
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-02-06 05:05 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Ailura
Originally posted by Cymoro
The bible or the magazine, because:

- They're easily replaceable
- Don't contain diseases.
- (Bible) If it's of cheap quality, is better for wiping, since it won't be glossy/semi-glossy.
And you would have a blessed ass.

But the bible contains alot of diseases...

Eh, probably the panties. STD's don't spread through clothes, last I heard. ~_~


It depends on which STDs they have. If it's just one that you can get on contact, then it could cause a problem. As for the Bible carrying diseases? I think not!
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

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Posted on 01-02-06 05:09 AM Link | Quote
I need to construct a hideous apparition that is a bible that gives people leprosy.
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-02-06 05:32 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Alastor the Stylish
I need to construct a hideous apparition that is a bible that gives people leprosy.


I'm not sure if you spelled lepersy right, or if I did either, but that would suck. I mean really. Back to pooping at someone elses house, what if you left skidmarks in the toilet? You were trying so hard that and got a headache and left skidmark in the toilet, on the wall, and on the dog. That would be the suck man. Especially if they found out it was you and you had to clean it up. Oh man that would stink, in TWO meanings.

Sorry, I just had to get that out of the way.
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

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Posted on 01-02-06 05:42 AM Link | Quote
Haha. You say lepersy and think I'm wrong with leprosy. Classic.
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Since: 05-08-06

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Posted on 01-02-06 05:51 AM Link | Quote
I don't know how to spell lepresy. Maybe, a link to somewhere? It just sounds more like what I put more than what you put. Ah... that one felt good. *looks down* Man, that one sucked! *grabs Bible and wipes butt then leaves after flushing*
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

Last post: 6296 days
Last view: 6296 days
Posted on 01-02-06 06:22 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Jesus
It just sounds more like what I put more than what you put.
Not if you're pronouncing it right.
MathOnNapkins

1100

In SPC700 HELL


 





Since: 11-18-05

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Posted on 01-03-06 08:42 AM Link | Quote
It's pronounced lepersy if you're drunk. So it would appear the Kyouji has some explaining to do for his lack of drunkenness.
spel werdz rite









Since: 11-19-05

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Posted on 01-03-06 03:25 PM Link | Quote
It's spelled leprosy.
Trapster

King Dedede



 





Since: 11-19-05
From: Sweden

Last post: 6404 days
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Posted on 01-03-06 03:44 PM Link | Quote
I´d probably go with the bible. I´m christian but I´m not religious and I don´t read it, anyway. Plus, the paper the pages are made of gets a good grip on the feces too.

I´d go with the magazine if the pages aren´t glossy.
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