Originally posted by Anya

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Okay, first off, let me say that this is total bullshit. So what that someone comes up to you to say "merry Christmas", it's just a damn phrase; there's no need to start crying about it and to start a little protest. There's more shit happening in this world and you have to worry about this? Come on, give me a break.

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Originally posted by Colin

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Oh, the whole situation itself just makes no sense.

This "war" really doesn't exist in Canada. Ads here flop between Christmas and Holidays so both sides are fairly well-represented.

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Originally posted by Vystrix Nexoth

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Originally posted by Anya

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For how long has it been called a Christmas tree and no one got pissed. But all of a sudden, we’re in the 21st century and we have to be all PC?

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No one got pissed because no one thought about it.

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WAR ON CHRISTMAS

Much has been made of the so-called “War on Christmas” this year. And as a card carrying member of the liberal conspiracy, let me tell you that it’s true. We are at war with Christmas. But what you may not know is WHY we are at war. I don’t want to scare you, but it’s time you learned something very disturbing.

Christmas has weapons of mass destruction.

There are mobile labs all over the North Pole set up with holiday anthrax just waiting to be deployed. And Christmas’ ties with Al-Qaeda are clear. Al-Qaeda is currently operating in the Middle East, the exact same place Christmas began operating over 2000 years ago. We can confirm this through our reliable source, Ru’Dulf Ran’Dier. Also, we have captured some elves, a couple of gnomes, and a midget and are currently subjecting them to extreme interrogation in covert prisons. However, we do deny the rumors that we are flushing pages of “ ’Twas the Night Before Christmas” down toilets.

The impact of Christmas on society can not be underestimated. Christmas has been know to place agents in shopping malls, in front of grocery stores, and at various Christmas parties (now to be known as “Freedom Parties”), A suspected Christmas operative was seen following the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade in a makeshift assault vehicle. Some Christmas operatives have even been known to enter citizen’s homes through their chimneys. In order to prevent this, the government recommends sealing your chimney with Saran Wrap and Duct Tape.

We cannot wait for this year’s winter wonderland to be a nuclear winter wonderland. An invasion of Christmas will begin immediately, with thousands of troops being sent to the North Pole immediately, and winter weather gear to be sent at an undetermined date in the future. Our initial plan is to bomb Christmas so much that they will be both shocked and awed. Then, when we occupy the North Pole, we will be greeted as liberators by the elves. It is important that we send hundreds of thousands of troops, and hundreds of billions of dollars, so that we can fight the war on Christmas there, instead of here, where it might interfere with holiday shopping. We will bring democracy to Christmas, whether the majority of them want us there or not. But honestly, we don’t expect it to last very long.

In order to keep you up to date on the current threat that Christmas has on the nation, we have developed a color coded alert system. Currently, the threat is green, or “Holly”. However at any moment, our poll numbers could slip, at which point we’re pretty sure the threat will rise to red, or “Jolly”.

So be strong America. Deck your halls with boughs of holly, forming a defensive perimeter around your borders as well. Peace on Earth (well, our part) and Goodwill to Men (most of them). Americhristmas to all, and to all a good night.

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