(Link to AcmlmWiki) Offline: thank ||bass
Register | Login
Views: 13,040,846
Main | Memberlist | Active users | Calendar | Chat | Online users
Ranks | FAQ | ACS | Stats | Color Chart | Search | Photo album
05-25-24 02:57 PM
0 users currently in Modern Art.
Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Modern Art - Return of the ballpoint pen. (Aeris) New poll | |
Pages: 1 2 3Add to favorites | Next newer thread | Next older thread
User Post
Tarale

2710
Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!!
Persona non grata


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Adelaide, Australia

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 06:53 AM Link | Quote


Detail here

Yes, as the title says, ballpoint pen.
Trapster

King Dedede



 





Since: 11-19-05
From: Sweden

Last post: 6413 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 07:26 AM Link | Quote
Holy shiiiiit!

You´ve done it again. Yet another perfect picture.
Hiryuu

Sword Maiden
Retired Admin








Since: 11-17-05
From: Nerima District - Tokyo, Japan

Last post: 6306 days
Last view: 6306 days
Posted on 12-12-05 09:25 AM Link | Quote
You know, with someone as anal as Taryn...I doubt she thinks any and all of her work is close to perfect...

...but you're gonna have to tell me how far off it is with this because there's NO WAY in the seventh circle of Hell I'd be able to draw that good an Aeris with a ballpoint. No fscking way.

I'll also add that the pic posted there is definitely an improvement from a colorwork that you made of Aeris a while back. I believe it was for a friend of yours --- I only remember seeing it on the forum of yours that you used to have...even that was decent but...sheesh...there's no end to you.


(edited by Ranko on 12-12-05 08:26 AM)
(edited by Ranko on 12-12-05 08:27 AM)
dcahrakos

490


 





Since: 11-17-05

Last post: 6522 days
Last view: 6522 days
Posted on 12-12-05 11:02 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Ran-chan
Holy shiiiiit!



that is the exact same thing that I thought when I saw it....

that is awesome
Xkeeper
Took the board down in a blaze of glory, only to reveal how truly moronical ||bass is.


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Henderson, Nevada

Last post: 6306 days
Last view: 6306 days
Skype
Posted on 12-12-05 03:53 PM Link | Quote
Excuse me for a minute I have to go pick up my jaw now.



(although, the face does look a little odd; I can't place it (suprise) but .. well, something just doesn't look right there)
Kattwah

Acro
RIP Acmlm's Board: Feb. 18 2007








Since: 11-17-05

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 04:13 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
Excuse me for a minute I have to go pick up my jaw now.
I think that sums up how we all feel...

I have half a mind to show this to my friends at Anime club... they would just... praise this beyond time and space.

11/10
Yoronosuku

Toss Tortoise


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Massachusetts is my new home..

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Skype
Posted on 12-12-05 05:03 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
Excuse me for a minute I have to go pick up my jaw now.



(although, the face does look a little odd; I can't place it (suprise) but .. well, something just doesn't look right there)


The hairline begins above her left (our right) eyebrow in that, I think that is what you see. But I had to look to notice it. You are such a talented artist Tarale
max

Blipper

i'm a pixie !!!


 





Since: 11-17-05

Last post: 6566 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 05:27 PM Link | Quote
it looks like her jaw is broken / her mouth is stuffed full of something

other than that it is amazing as always
SantaMushroom

Bit








Since: 11-19-05

Last post: 6308 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 05:36 PM Link | Quote
The world would explode if i drew that well. It's good^good^good^megiston. ( a megiston is like 10^1(a million million centillion(316 digits) digits)) I bet you could beat the artists of FF themselves. It's just SO GOOD! (overachieve like a bandit!) (1000 more sentences explaining your greatness)
Iori Yagami

Hardhat Beetle








Since: 11-18-05
From: Hell's keeper

Last post: 6512 days
Last view: 6512 days
Posted on 12-12-05 05:41 PM Link | Quote
Congrats on another work well done Taryn. I so can't draw or shade that good in pen or in pencil for that matter.
Chris

Spiny


 





Since: 11-17-05

Last post: 6415 days
Last view: 6415 days
Posted on 12-12-05 06:05 PM Link | Quote
I looks really good, Tarale; great work, as usual!
Xkeeper
Took the board down in a blaze of glory, only to reveal how truly moronical ||bass is.


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Henderson, Nevada

Last post: 6306 days
Last view: 6306 days
Skype
Posted on 12-12-05 07:15 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by max
it looks like her jaw is broken / her mouth is stuffed full of something

other than that it is amazing as always
Yes that is exactly what I was seeing.

So that answers that question
Cymoro
Administrator


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Cymoro Gaming

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 08:01 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xkeeper
Originally posted by max
it looks like her jaw is broken / her mouth is stuffed full of something

other than that it is amazing as always
Yes that is exactly what I was seeing.

So that answers that question :P



Other than that, the morticians did a good job with the body :D

But seriously, that's some awesome pen work. Hell, I can't shade that good with pen, all the ink smudges up on me.
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-12-05 10:54 PM Link | Quote
Am I the only one who thinks she has a fsckng huge forehead and similarly huge eyes and everything's just out of proportion and that's ugly as hell?

Yes, it's good for a ballpoint pen. This does not mean it's good.


(edited by Dark Hero, Jet Black on 12-12-05 09:54 PM)
Tarale

2710
Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!!
Persona non grata


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Adelaide, Australia

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-13-05 12:15 AM Link | Quote
Okay, you want my critique?

Things I don't like
* The materia is too large... I was being cartoony when the rest of the pic doesn't truly warrant this
* The hair should be higher, and the materia lower
* The hair on the top of the head goes too far to the right of the picture giving the head a weird shape.
* The ear lacks detail
* The eye on the right was leaning, and my fix (by adding more ink) did not quite resolve this
* Shading on hair ribbon too dark considering it's supposed to be the same shade as her dress
* Arms are thicker than I'd like them to be
* Collar on the jacket is too stiff looking
* Right arm -- outside line of arm does not line up behind jacket
* I think I shaded under the bottom lip a touch too much
* Her bangs ARE parted off center.

Things I do like
* I like the detail in the eye shading. Ballpoint pen is pretty unforgiving so it's nice when the finer details work.
* I like the shading in her dress. I think I've done a good job showing the fabrics -- the jacket looks heavy, the dress looks soft and light.
* Tonal work in general is pretty good.
* I like the shape of the arms, despite them being a little thicker than I'd like
* I think I've done a good job of subtly suggesting cleavage without actually explictly drawing it


Kyouji Craw -- "ugly as hell" is not a valid critique. I don't mind negative criticism, but for pete's sake make it constructive!!!

Below is a good example of a critique:


The main problems seem to be with centering and balance.

-You drew her in a partially completed contrapposto pose, as indicated by the tilt of her hips. Balance dictates that the shoulders will *always* fall on a tilt opposite to the hips, so her shoulders should be falling along an upper-right to lower-left axis (the breasts are kind of falling along that axis already). Google "contrapposto" to see some examples, if I'm not coming off too clearly.

-The body midline is not consistant and is most noticable where the dress seem is. It should be shifted on a curve more towards her left side, almost along the edge of her form, but it keeps coming over to her right. This is making her form look flat instead of 3D.

-It looks like she's mashing her head back against her neck because the entire head is not situated far enough to her left side. You can tell this from the neck line, which would be closer to the middle of her chin in 3/4 view.

-The midline of the face should pass through the center of the bangs, nose, and mouth on an outward curve, but all three are out of alignment. Again, the midline would be shifted farther to her left side, almost to the edge of her facial form.

-Skull is deformed, portruding WAY too far on her left and not enough on her right. The hair really gives this away because it should be taut against the skull when it's pulled into a ponytail. The ponytail would also be shifted farther to her right in accordance to 3/4 view.

-Arms too thick in proportion to torso, lower arm especially thick in proportion to upper arm.

-Hairline too low on forehead.

I think the pen technique is turning out quite nicely, though. The curls in the hair are especially pretty and I feel like I could reach out and tug on them and they'd spring back into place.



(edited by Tarale on 12-13-05 12:27 AM)
Danielle

6730
Administratorrrr
HELLO THERE









Since: 11-17-05
From: California
Rate me
^_^

Last post: 6306 days
Last view: 6305 days
Skype
Posted on 12-13-05 01:16 AM Link | Quote
Tarale, that is awesome work (again). Your artistic ability really amazes me... I'd never be able to create something like that. Very very very very very well done.

My only dislike of the whole piece is the offcenter bangs... whether you meant to do that or not, I think it makes her look a bit odd.
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-13-05 02:06 AM Link | Quote
Alright Taryn, would you like "I find that the out of proportion style you apply degrades the quality of work and serves to accentuate the other flaws of this piece which were pointed out by other people earlier in this thread, and I believe this causes the piece to look rather ugly" more?
Tarale

2710
Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!!
Persona non grata


 





Since: 11-17-05
From: Adelaide, Australia

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-13-05 02:32 AM Link | Quote
Not really... all you're really saying is "I don't like it".

It doesn't help me at all to improve though, as you've not pointed out anything specific, or what specifically you find wrong with it. "Proportion" to what, where? Arms to torso? Chest to shoulders? Head to body? Eyes to face?

Some of those proportion things are a stylistic decision, others are mistakes. (the size of the eyes is a stylistic decision, the proportion of arms to torso is a mistake)

Read Six's critique (the one I blockquoted). Six is another artist; and she has given me a very good critique -- she has told me very precisely what she's seen wrong, like "the hairline is too low on forehead". I know know that in future I need to move it higher (although admittedly I'd moved it so low because in past critiques I'd been told it was too high on the forehead... I need to find somewhere in the middle and get it right)

max, Xkeeper, Yoronosuku and Danielle were all also able to point out something specific; and although they weren't all able to be as specific as Six, I'll still be able to work out how to fix things for next time from that.

"It's ugly" doesn't help me one bit.

I'll never be able to fix the original, but here are some corrections based off feedback... I don't know if I fixed the face thing, but I moved the mouth down lower...

Major fixes include the shoulders, arms, neck and top of the head. Original underlaid so you can see where new linework differs from old linework




(edited by Tarale on 12-13-05 03:31 AM)
Apophis

Ropa








Since: 11-17-05

Last post: 6306 days
Last view: 6305 days
Skype
Posted on 12-13-05 08:48 AM Link | Quote
I like this version much better. You have incredible talent.
Alastor
Fearless Moderator Hero








Since: 11-17-05
From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington

Last post: 6305 days
Last view: 6305 days
Posted on 12-13-05 07:23 PM Link | Quote
Proportion as in some things are far larger or smaller than they would be on an actual human. The eyes, for example. I don't like that. In my opinion, there is no beauty whatsoever to the style you've chosen.

Also, that posture is going to give her horrible back problems later in life


(edited by Dark Hero, Jet Black on 12-13-05 06:25 PM)
Pages: 1 2 3Add to favorites | Next newer thread | Next older thread
Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Modern Art - Return of the ballpoint pen. (Aeris) |


ABII

Acmlmboard 1.92.999, 9/17/2006
©2000-2006 Acmlm, Emuz, Blades, Xkeeper

Page rendered in 0.072 seconds; used 456.10 kB (max 599.13 kB)