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| 0 users currently in Modern Art. |
| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Modern Art - Return of the ballpoint pen. (Aeris) |
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Tarale    2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata                    Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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Detail here Yes, as the title says, ballpoint pen. |
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Trapster King Dedede Since: 11-19-05 From: Sweden Last post: 6413 days Last view: 6305 days |
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Holy shiiiiit! 
You´ve done it again. Yet another perfect picture.  |
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Hiryuu Sword Maiden Retired Admin  Since: 11-17-05 From: Nerima District - Tokyo, Japan Last post: 6306 days Last view: 6306 days |
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| You know, with someone as anal as Taryn...I doubt she thinks any and all of her work is close to perfect...
...but you're gonna have to tell me how far off it is with this because there's NO WAY in the seventh circle of Hell I'd be able to draw that good an Aeris with a ballpoint. No fscking way. I'll also add that the pic posted there is definitely an improvement from a colorwork that you made of Aeris a while back. I believe it was for a friend of yours --- I only remember seeing it on the forum of yours that you used to have...even that was decent but...sheesh...there's no end to you. (edited by Ranko on 12-12-05 08:26 AM) (edited by Ranko on 12-12-05 08:27 AM) |
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dcahrakos 490 Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6522 days Last view: 6522 days |
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Originally posted by Ran-chan that is the exact same thing that I thought when I saw it.... that is awesome |
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Xkeeper Took the board down in a blaze of glory, only to reveal how truly moronical ||bass is. Since: 11-17-05 From: Henderson, Nevada Last post: 6306 days Last view: 6306 days |
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| Excuse me for a minute I have to go pick up my jaw now.
(although, the face does look a little odd; I can't place it (suprise) but .. well, something just doesn't look right there) |
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Kattwah Acro RIP Acmlm's Board: Feb. 18 2007  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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Originally posted by XkeeperI think that sums up how we all feel... 
I have half a mind to show this to my friends at Anime club... they would just... praise this beyond time and space. 
11/10 |
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Yoronosuku Toss Tortoise Since: 11-17-05 From: Massachusetts is my new home.. Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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Originally posted by Xkeeper The hairline begins above her left (our right) eyebrow in that, I think that is what you see. But I had to look to notice it. You are such a talented artist Tarale  |
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max Blipper  i'm a pixie !!! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6566 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| it looks like her jaw is broken / her mouth is stuffed full of something
other than that it is amazing as always |
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SantaMushroom Bit  Since: 11-19-05 Last post: 6308 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| The world would explode if i drew that well. It's good^good^good^megiston. ( a megiston is like 10^1(a million million centillion(316 digits) digits)) I bet you could beat the artists of FF themselves. It's just SO GOOD! (overachieve like a bandit!) (1000 more sentences explaining your greatness)
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Iori Yagami Hardhat Beetle  Since: 11-18-05 From: Hell's keeper Last post: 6512 days Last view: 6512 days |
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Congrats on another work well done Taryn.  I so can't draw or shade that good in pen or in pencil for that matter.  |
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Chris Spiny Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6415 days Last view: 6415 days |
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| I looks really good, Tarale; great work, as usual! |
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Xkeeper Took the board down in a blaze of glory, only to reveal how truly moronical ||bass is. Since: 11-17-05 From: Henderson, Nevada Last post: 6306 days Last view: 6306 days |
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Originally posted by maxYes that is exactly what I was seeing. So that answers that question  |
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Cymoro Administrator    Since: 11-17-05 From: Cymoro Gaming Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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Originally posted by XkeeperOriginally posted by maxYes that is exactly what I was seeing. Other than that, the morticians did a good job with the body :D But seriously, that's some awesome pen work. Hell, I can't shade that good with pen, all the ink smudges up on me. |
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Alastor Fearless Moderator Hero  Since: 11-17-05 From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Am I the only one who thinks she has a fsckng huge forehead and similarly huge eyes and everything's just out of proportion and that's ugly as hell?
Yes, it's good for a ballpoint pen. This does not mean it's good. (edited by Dark Hero, Jet Black on 12-12-05 09:54 PM) |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Okay, you want my critique?
Things I don't like * The materia is too large... I was being cartoony when the rest of the pic doesn't truly warrant this * The hair should be higher, and the materia lower * The hair on the top of the head goes too far to the right of the picture giving the head a weird shape. * The ear lacks detail * The eye on the right was leaning, and my fix (by adding more ink) did not quite resolve this * Shading on hair ribbon too dark considering it's supposed to be the same shade as her dress * Arms are thicker than I'd like them to be * Collar on the jacket is too stiff looking * Right arm -- outside line of arm does not line up behind jacket * I think I shaded under the bottom lip a touch too much * Her bangs ARE parted off center. Things I do like * I like the detail in the eye shading. Ballpoint pen is pretty unforgiving so it's nice when the finer details work. * I like the shading in her dress. I think I've done a good job showing the fabrics -- the jacket looks heavy, the dress looks soft and light. * Tonal work in general is pretty good. * I like the shape of the arms, despite them being a little thicker than I'd like * I think I've done a good job of subtly suggesting cleavage without actually explictly drawing it Kyouji Craw -- "ugly as hell" is not a valid critique. I don't mind negative criticism, but for pete's sake make it constructive!!!
Below is a good example of a critique:
(edited by Tarale on 12-13-05 12:27 AM) |
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Danielle 6730 Administratorrrr HELLO THERE   Since: 11-17-05 From: California Rate me ^_^ Last post: 6306 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Tarale, that is awesome work (again). Your artistic ability really amazes me... I'd never be able to create something like that. Very very very very very well done.
My only dislike of the whole piece is the offcenter bangs... whether you meant to do that or not, I think it makes her look a bit odd. |
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Alastor Fearless Moderator Hero Since: 11-17-05 From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Alright Taryn, would you like "I find that the out of proportion style you apply degrades the quality of work and serves to accentuate the other flaws of this piece which were pointed out by other people earlier in this thread, and I believe this causes the piece to look rather ugly" more? | |||
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Not really... all you're really saying is "I don't like it".
It doesn't help me at all to improve though, as you've not pointed out anything specific, or what specifically you find wrong with it. "Proportion" to what, where? Arms to torso? Chest to shoulders? Head to body? Eyes to face? Some of those proportion things are a stylistic decision, others are mistakes. (the size of the eyes is a stylistic decision, the proportion of arms to torso is a mistake) Read Six's critique (the one I blockquoted). Six is another artist; and she has given me a very good critique -- she has told me very precisely what she's seen wrong, like "the hairline is too low on forehead". I know know that in future I need to move it higher (although admittedly I'd moved it so low because in past critiques I'd been told it was too high on the forehead... I need to find somewhere in the middle and get it right) max, Xkeeper, Yoronosuku and Danielle were all also able to point out something specific; and although they weren't all able to be as specific as Six, I'll still be able to work out how to fix things for next time from that.
"It's ugly" doesn't help me one bit.
I'll never be able to fix the original, but here are some corrections based off feedback... I don't know if I fixed the face thing, but I moved the mouth down lower... Major fixes include the shoulders, arms, neck and top of the head. Original underlaid so you can see where new linework differs from old linework  (edited by Tarale on 12-13-05 03:31 AM) |
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Apophis Ropa  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6306 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| I like this version much better. You have incredible talent. | |||
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Alastor Fearless Moderator Hero Since: 11-17-05 From: An apartment by DigiPen, Redmond, Washington Last post: 6305 days Last view: 6305 days |
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| Proportion as in some things are far larger or smaller than they would be on an actual human. The eyes, for example. I don't like that. In my opinion, there is no beauty whatsoever to the style you've chosen.
Also, that posture is going to give her horrible back problems later in life (edited by Dark Hero, Jet Black on 12-13-05 06:25 PM) |
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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Modern Art - Return of the ballpoint pen. (Aeris) |
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