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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - Slim Chance Getting this Girl... |
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DahrkDaiz Nipper Plant U wan hax Mario?!                  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Ok so I recently saw this girl I used to have a bug crush on back when she worked with me. We were playful, but both taken at the time. Now we are both single and she recently came by, but I did not get to talk to her. I was able to contact her through the Internet but only in a sort of "just passing" way. I'd LOVE to work my way into asking her on a date, but really, without much physical contact ouside of sheer luck, I am not sure of the chances of that happening. I unfortunately cannot think of reasons to go to her job (she's a county clerk now). I've thought of Internet secret admirer stuff, cuz we know the Internet is the ultimate anonymous tool, however, I'm not sure how she'd feel about it. Any advice, suggestions, tips? | |||
Silvershield   580     Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Ugh, I hate this kind of thing. I can't tell you how many would-be crushes of mine have been thwarted before they even begin just because the person and I have very little contact, which essentially dashes any hope of a meaningful bond forming.
I know that doesn't help you at all. Just throwing my thoughts in there. Heh heh. |
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Cruel Justice I have better things to do. Since: 11-18-05 From: At my house! Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Like Shield said... a lack of communication is killer.
Most girls (especially the ones who talk to alot of guys) don't like lovey-duvey dudes. Instead of testing her gag-reflexes with the secret admirer crap, you have to be yourself and let the chemistry work itself in. If she doesn't like you or neither of you feel uncomfortable talking to eachother in person, forget the relationship, it isn't worth it. You have to be true to her and yourself; forget the worst things that could happen. If you let your emotions grab you by the balls you're in for a serious heartache when shit rolls downhill. If you're still single, look for back-up girls. It isn't cheating since you haven't actually engaged in anything yet and if you play your cards right, you'll at LEAST earn yourself some new friends. I guarantee that if you tease them playfully, they'll warm up to you... any guys who think otherwise most likely haven't been in a relationship in their pathetic uneventful lives. What do you have to lose? Stay friendly to them and toss in some craziness every now and then. (edited by Cruel Justice on 01-29-07 11:26 AM) |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Cruel JusticeI think this is where your logic begins to fail. You're a bit too cynical, if you ask me. Foremost, who's to say that the poster is necessarily looking for the type of girl who "talks to a lot of guys?" In my experience, that sort of girl is a bit too promiscuous for my taste. That's not to say that becoming an anonymous admirer is ideal, but instead that it is not necessarily what you make it out to be. |
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Ziff B2BB BACKTOBASICSBITCHES Since: 11-18-05 From: A room Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| "Foremost, who's to say that the poster is necessarily looking for the type of girl who "talks to a lot of guys?" In my experience, that sort of girl is a bit too promiscuous for my taste. "
Inter-human communication leads to sex? Daaaaamn. I thought that is how it worked! (edited by Ziff on 01-30-07 03:18 PM) |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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On talking to guys and being promiscuous -- I would just like to say that I talk to a lot of guys... that doesn't mean I fuck them though 
As for this whole thing, I dunno. Be straight forward? Ask her out for a coffee one day perhaps? |
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DahrkDaiz Nipper Plant U wan hax Mario?! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| oh yeah, to update everyone, I talked to her on IM and we chatted for a few minutes and I thought ok, lets do it, I asked it in a non-hitting on way, in my normal kidding tone. Well she laughed and didn't give me a yes or a no and then took a shower... Wooo, figuring out girls in person is hard but their IM's are even worse. | |||
Black Lord + Flurry Since: 11-17-05 From: Where indians still roam... Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6282 days |
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Originally posted by DahrkDaiz Talk to the girl in person... when you have a chance, even if a short one. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now.  Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Not a lot to figure out there... Chuckling, not giving an answer, and then needing to go take a shower translates to one of two things.
1) No, but I don't want to hurt your feelings by actually saying "no." or 2) No, but I don't want to face up to the question or any sort of confrontation so I'll just leave you hanging. With most girls, the latter seems to be the more correct translation. Oops, was that a bit too cynical? |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| It does kinda mean no, I think, but I was just going to suggest that it took her by surprise / made her a little nervous.
Maybe you either need to give her time talking with her, or ask your question more directly. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Ziff Originally posted by TaraleNote the "in my experience" disclaimer. I didn't write in in six point font or anything. All I know is, around where I am right now, the girl who you see chatting up a new guy every day is the girl who typically "gets with" a new guy every day, too. Take that for what you will. Edit for a typo. (edited by Silvershield on 01-30-07 08:14 PM) |
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Tarale 2710 Affected by 'Princess Bitch-Face Syndrome' ++++!! Persona non grata Since: 11-17-05 From: Adelaide, Australia Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Silvershield Yeah, but that's not representative of everyone so I had to make that known too.  And the girls you know seem very strange to me. Course, in the various social circles I frequent, the girls I know mostly talk to blokes as friends, not exclusively as potential sex partners.
Course, I seem to hang out with a lot of geeks and indie girls and boys. I'm not sure if this makes a difference. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by TaraleBlame the age group and the environment. College-age kids at a school that has a reputation as a wealthy, nearly all-white party school. You're bound to draw a fair number of girls who are, for lack of a better and more tactful description, spoiled whores. Sorry to be so blunt. |
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DahrkDaiz Nipper Plant U wan hax Mario?! Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| Well I feel like I asked in such a non-chalant half-hearted way I can still bounce back with a "what? I was just kidding? did you really think I'd ask you out on a date?", atleast recovering a bit of my confidence. | |||
Arwon Bazu Since: 11-18-05 From: Randwick, Sydney, NSW, Australia Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| SS, your experience is limited and/or ridiculous. Some people, girls included, just like to talk to lots of people. They're what's known as "social" or "friendly". Even some of the slutty ones still just like talking to people too, while many are, indeed, utterly oblivious to any sexual undertones to this behaviour. Disclaimers or no, the idea that this somehow makes them morally suspect is actually vaguely insulting.
At least you're qualifying your baffling opposition to promiscuity (such an ugly, clinical word, but unfortunately there's not many better ones) with the recognition that that's just your weirdo papist preoccupations at work, though ("a bit too promiscuous for my taste"). Cheers! DD: You'd probably be better off following up in-person, maybe just say something like "so jokingly asking you out online, kinda dumb, but you didn't answer so I thought I'd ask again." There's nothing wrong with a bit of calculated tactlessness. |
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Silvershield 580 Since: 11-19-05 From: Emerson, New Jersey Last post: 6292 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by ArwonIt's suddenly a crime to offer an anecdotal observation, even while clearly qualifying it as such? Any person with a minimum of social intelligence will realize that what I proposed was hardly a rule, nor could it really be called anything beyond, indeed, an anecdotal observation. I aimed to serve as a counterpoint to Cruel Justice, who implied that it is universally a better idea to seek girls who "talk to a lot of guys"; that advice is misleading, and needed to be addressed. Originally posted by ArwonWhy is an opposition to promiscuity "baffling"? And what does my religion have anything to do with it? I'll show you a hundred atheists who don't approve of indiscriminate sexual behavior - it's not as if it's a purely religious value. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now. Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by DahrkDaiz Do you think girls enjoy being asked out in a halfhearted way? Maybe that's part of the problem... |
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Cruel Justice I have better things to do. Since: 11-18-05 From: At my house! Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Arwon Thank you!!! (edited by Cruel Justice on 01-31-07 03:48 PM) |
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Tommathy Since: 11-17-05 From: Cloud Nine, Turn Left and I'm There~ Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Rejection, although unpleasant, doesn't really hurt all that bad, especially from someone with whom you barely interact anyways.
So really, just ask her out in earnest. It should be a refreshing change of pace atleast, as most people don't expect it. Take her out to something fun that requires a low-level of interaction, such as a rock show or maybe a one-shot cooking class. Dinner requires way too much pressure of speech, and movies eliminate the potential for communication for a good hour or so of your date. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now. Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| Plus, movies are a pretty bland date anyway. Very common. If you come up with something a little more interesting to do she might be more likely to say yes. |
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