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| Acmlm's Board - I3 Archive - Femine's Corner - Dry Spells and Being Prude |
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Anya                    Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6281 days |
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There's a few reasons as to why I'm posting this in here instead of my little hole in the wall of a journal. I won't go into those reasons, but, well, maybe one: hopefully I'll get some type of answer here due to traffic..errr....some light traffic at least in the forum.  *ahem* Anyway....
Lets see, where should I start this little post.... ..... .......When I was younger, I was labeled as a prude. Wondering wtf that word meant in elementary school, I really didn't think much of it. Sure, I had crushes on a few guys and one was a bit pushy to get me to kiss him when we were in my backyard (funny thing is, he stops into my store every now and then and I think he's married too) and mind you, it wasn't anything major, I just didn't want to kiss him...and I think this was the 4th grade or so....anyway, fast forward, didn't kiss/get kissed by a boy until I was like 16, didn't have sex until I was 19, and well, I guess that's why people called me a prude. Honestly, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I used to have dry spells without sex, one that lasted about six months. Now I think I'm in it once again, this time its been about three months. I tend to get like this every now and then when I really don't want to have sex with my partner. This has to be something mental, right? Either it being scared of having a child or something left unresolved elsewhere. Its like something is blocking me. I'm not a huge sexual person, yet I have my moments and times that I just want to flaunt and flirt (mostly not off line, save for wanting to flaunt, especially with my recent loss in weight..but thats another story). I'm not sure where I'm really going with this post, but I just needed to let this out, even just a little. But has anyone dealt with something like this? Quite honestly, I don't think sex should play a major factor in a relationship, there should be other factors (and goodies) that I feel should come first. But maybe that's what "prudes" think, hell is I know. And I somewhat doubt that this is normal, but I really don't know what normal is to begin with. I tend to just get like this from time to time, especially when I stop to think about things or when I'm a bit down in general. So could these dry spells have something to do with stress or maybe just being too busy to worry/think about? |
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Xkeeper Took the board down in a blaze of glory, only to reveal how truly moronical ||bass is.  Since: 11-17-05 From: Henderson, Nevada Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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I'd just figure it's nothing to worry about, but I'm not Dr. Pysological Genius Guy, so be sure to disregard everything I say. (edited by Xkeeper on 01-15-07 10:36 PM) |
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Xeo Belmont Wiiiiiiiiiiiiin  Since: 11-17-05 Last post: 6279 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Xkeeper And you're not alone. |
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Ailure Mr. Shine I just want peace...  Since: 11-17-05 From: Sweden Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| I had sex, but no kisses.
It wasn't a particular good session either... so I don't think it should really count. And I'm 20, so yes. (edited by Ailure on 01-16-07 02:56 AM) |
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NSNick Gohma IF ALL ELSE FAILS USE BOOZE  Since: 11-17-05 From: Last post: 6281 days Last view: 6281 days |
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| Those ages sound normal to me, Anya.
As for not wanting to have sex for months at a time, I don't really know. I've only been in one real relationship, and sex was a large part of it, so I don't know if that was just her, if it's normal or what. Sorry I can't be more help. :$ |
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Simon Belmont Except I'm totally fucking hyped about Dracula X: Chronicles.  Since: 11-18-05 From: Pittsburgh Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| It's not necessarily you that makes you not interested in sex, your partner will play a big role in that; he should make you want it, feeling a want and need for each other, especially sexually, can play a big role in relationships. It's been that way for me anyways.
As for the whole 16/19 thing, uh, you're all special? 
I don't think there's really a normal age for that; for guys its usually the first slut they find, and for girls its usually the first guy who lies to them enough to get their panties off. It can also have alot to do with the environment and the culture; whats normal in a city town isn't going to be the same as whats normal in some suburb or something. |
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Koitenshin +∞ Moblin Since: 12-24-05 From: Misery Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| I say that it is normal. Most people forgot that the major sex organ in the body is the mind. Capture the interest of the mind and you've got the subject bagged so to speak. Basically if all you do is think about work all the time your sexual desires will diminish. We see this all the time in corporate business men/women. | |||
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Ailure Mr. Shine I just want peace... Since: 11-17-05 From: Sweden Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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| You have to remember that men have higher sex drive than women, incase if it's your partner nagging you often about sex or something now. *shrugs* But people are just different as well.
Some people can be without sex for years without it affecting them too much, others can't survive a day without masturbation. I admit I belong to the later group. Funny, my sex drive tends to increase when I'm stressed out... but I guess it's the opposite for a lot of people. I wouldn't worry about it too much, unless it feels like your relationship is taking a damage because of it or that you're afraid of sex and get stressed thinking on it. |
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LizardKing Bullet Bill  Since: 11-18-05 Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Ailure Personally, I think that's bullshit. I think it varies more from person to person than between genders as a whole. Everything can be normal, when it comes to sex drive. (Well, within certain limits... but you get the idea.) Though, I must say, I find it kind of odd that you have had sex, but not kissed. I'm kind of the opposite. I have kissed, not had sex. And I'm 21. I don't feel any rush about it either. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now.  Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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| It's not odd to not have sex until 19. I didn't... I figure most of the people I went to high school with were sluts =P
And I don't think sex should come first either. A real relationship is much more important. And what's a dry spell? It's no big deal. I haven't had sex in a while either. And honestly, I'm not a huge fan of sex anyway. I've never gotten deep enough into a serious relationship that I had sex with someone I really loved. I think I might enjoy that a lot... I've certainly enjoyed fooling around with those particular girls... but sex in general... blah. I don't see what the big deal is. |
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Bella Red Paratroopa Since: 11-18-05 From: Mi Casa de Candy and RATE OR DIE Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| Eh, I didn't have sex until I was like 19..it didn't bother me. I didn't kiss until I was like 17. Even that guy says that if he doesn't give it to me that I'll want it, I tell him I could go without it and I know I could. I could have a so called "dry spell" and not care. But then again, I dont have a partner "partner"..just a plain whatever..anyways. I would say that your dryness is normal, hehe. | |||
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Simon Belmont Except I'm totally fucking hyped about Dracula X: Chronicles. Since: 11-18-05 From: Pittsburgh Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6279 days |
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Originally posted by Kasdarack Sex without the love is like eating pizza without the sauce, man. |
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Koitenshin +∞ Moblin Since: 12-24-05 From: Misery Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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Originally posted by ztiksOriginally posted by Kasdarack Quoted for truth. I never would have believed it either until I actually had sex with someone I didn't know. It's like chicken soup without the chicken, absolute nothing. |
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Anya Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6281 days |
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I just feel bad for my hubby, its not fair to him just because I haven't been in the mood for sex.  |
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Koitenshin +∞ Moblin Since: 12-24-05 From: Misery Last post: 6282 days Last view: 6282 days |
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| Why feel bad? We're guys...just direct us to the lesbian porn and we're fine by ourselves. XD
Try not to take offense anyone. |
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Sweet Kassy Molassy Out of ice cream and PB. Would KILL for a milkshake right now. Since: 06-17-06 From: LoozeeAnna Last post: 6280 days Last view: 6280 days |
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Originally posted by Anya Have you considered taking anything or pursuing some alternative health method to stimulate your libido? |
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Anya Since: 11-18-05 From: South Florida Last post: 6283 days Last view: 6281 days |
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Originally posted by KasdarackOriginally posted by Anya Actually I have. But before I do, I need to go to an asthma and allergy doctor, so that method is going to have to wait....unless they have some over-the-counter ones that actually do the trick. |
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