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| User | Post |
| Tarale Posts: 1295/2713 |
Originally posted by Kasdarack Don't worry, I don't think I'm rational all that often  |
| Sweet Kassy Molassy Posts: 173/886 |
*sighs* Why do you have to be rational, Taryn? Now we can't in good conscience be mad at the girl anymore |
| Tarale Posts: 1254/2713 |
You're 14. I dunno what exactly it is about that age, but trust me, even nice girls are likely to be a bit fickle with regards to "relationships" at that age.
It's an awkward age for everybody, male or female. For the first time in your lives you're starting to experience a depth of emotion that you were not physically capable of doing before. The result is confusing as hell, and it's likely to result in some stuff that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I don't think your female friend is trying to be difficult. My guess is... I think what's more likely is that she's found herself in the middle of some complex and conflicting emotions here with this situation, and she probably believes they are in some way mutually exclusive. She's probably a whole lot more comfortable with the friendship-relationship she has with her friend than she is with the romantic-relationship she has with you, so she's gone the "safe" option for her, emotionally. At least, that's my guess, remembering what I could of the emotional headfuck confusion that was "14 years old". I know that I would have chosen to retain the safe, comfortable relationship with my friend rather than risk it for a boy at that age... |
| pokerutoman Posts: 45/64 |
I'm Pyris' friend and I heard about some of the things she did, but my god! Dump her ass! |
| Sweet Kassy Molassy Posts: 164/886 |
WTF did she have to scream at you about? To hell with her. |
| Pyris Posts: 20/25 |
Wow... We just SCREEEEEEEAAAAMED at each other for an hour...Sux that I have to see her every day for the next 6 weeks... |
| MathOnNapkins Posts: 627/1106 |
It may be ageism but put it in perspective... how likely is it that you would date the same person for 4 years of high school and then through college (if you go)? Complicates matters even worse when you're not of the same year in high school b/c one of you goes to college which is almost always inevitable breakup. |
| Pyris Posts: 19/25 |
*sigh*
I suppose there is no use reposting my points, so I'll drop it and agree to take advice from people who know more about it than me. I just dont like ageism. |
| witeasprinwow Posts: 175/613 |
I hate to say this, but... You will understand when you are older.
I know that's the exact thing that has you frustrated with us here, and I got frustrated when older people used to tell me that too. But then I got older, and well, now I understand why they said it to me. Just don't worry about it for now. You can't really have perspective on an event while living through it; You have to go through it and look back on it. Enjoy the moment. |
| Pyris Posts: 17/25 |
9th grade dating is not "puppy love" when you are living through it. Thats like sharing a soda at a park somehwere. THATS puppy love. It just seems like puppy love when you are older. I bet that when you were in 9th grade you didnt consider your dates to be puppy love, did you now?
There is little difference between 9th grade dating and 30 year old dating. We go out on dates, we get together for breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, plays, theatre, sports, etc. We do physical things as well, and I dont mean sitting on a couch cuddling (lol). IMHO, it only seems like puppy love looking back on it 20 years later. It doesnt seem like puppy love to us. And than again, I think of my 3rd grade proposal to this girl was kind of embarrasing, so I can definately see where you are coming from. |
| Sabishii Posts: 39/60 |
Definitely continues in high school, but that's when you begin to seperate the drama queens from the rest of us.
This reminds me of a joke article I read once on translation of the male language to the female language. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" came out as "What self inflicted imaginary trauma have you caused youself now?" You need the social experience, very true, but I find that there is no distinguishing the drama from anything decent at that age. It's all puppy love that everyone winds up regreting and being embarrassed about. Maybe I'm odd, but I try to imagine myself married to the guys I date and if I can't see it, I get out of it ASAP. I imagine the ideal boyfriend as being my best friend with benefits, but under a title and a husband to be a boyfriend under a legal title. I was never able to find personal justification in dating for "fun" or in dating multiple people, so I can't offer any advice there. |
| Pyris Posts: 16/25 |
Hey hey hey, can we PLEASE stay away from the ageism? Just because I'm 14 doesnt make me less of a person, and I date girls for the exact same reasons that the rest of you all do, minus marriage.
Anyway, its over now. And thinking about it now, it was bound to happen. |
| witeasprinwow Posts: 172/613 |
Originally posted by Sabishii Oh my fucking god, this is SO extremely true. I could not have worrded this better. Hell, I'd say with some girls this persists even through high school. I wouldn't tell him to not date, though. He has to build up experience with the opposite sex sometime, or else he'll grow up to be a 20 year old boy. Just don't take it too seriously. Keep in mind that you aren't gonna marry any of these girls. |
| Kingpin Posts: 409/709 |
Oh, I didnt realize he was 14. Yeah, wait till you grow up. Your just a kid. Pretty much every relationship around your age is shortlived and ultimately pointless. |
| Sabishii Posts: 38/60 |
While I can understand being upset about her friend liking you and I can understnad not wanting to hurt a friend (doubly so if it's her best friend), I don't think either of them consider the awkwardness this whole mess could bring. It's awkward to date a friend's dude even if they've broken up and you have her blessing.
Don't date the friend if she asks again, it'll only cause a whole other mess of problems. Girls at your age seem to have a talent for causing themselves imagined misery. I'd walk away from the whole mess and just find someone new or leave the whole dating thing alone for now. At that age, it seems like people change significant others more often than they change underwear. Have fun with it for now, it's not worth the drama. |
| Pyris Posts: 14/25 |
I doubt it... of course, now shes sorry and thinks its her fault...this would make a good episode of that 70's show, or the OC or something like that. |
| ziffhasnoaim/password Posts: 151/292 |
You're only 14. Consider this a learning experience and put off dating for a while. |
| witeasprinwow Posts: 170/613 |
Originally posted by Pyris Welcome to the world of women. Many of them are indeed crazy. I don't think calling her a bitch will get you in any mod trouble in this situation. Just out of curiousity, now that you're dumped, is the friend going to ask you out again? |
| Pyris Posts: 10/25 |
Ummm ya the friend who wants to date me...asked me out...I said I was taken...and she went off and sobbed on the phone to my girl for an hour...who dumped me...what a bitch (EXCUSE ME MODS, TERRIBLY SORRY) |
| witeasprinwow Posts: 168/613 |
Originally posted by HRBEK I think you are misunderstanding the situation. She is not just "bubbly," she is going to break up with him because if she doesn't her friend will be mad, and she doesn't want that. She is letting other people decide her life. It is the fact that her friend has a crush on him that upsets her; anything else doesn't matter, because she is already upset. Unless he can somehow convince her to change her entire outlook in the series of a few conversations, it isn't going to work. Also, this guy is 14... Nobody knows who the "right girl for you" is at that age. They're just fucking getting started. |
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