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| 0 users currently in Officer's Club. |
| User | Post |
| Tarale Posts: 1018/2713 |
There's nothing wrong with caring. I care about my little brother who smokes crystal meth. I care about him and I worry about him, but I know that there's probably little I can do to actually stop him, and that his idea of "help" and my idea of it are completely different things.
You might have more sway as a son than I do as a sister, I don't know -- but she still needs to actually notice that her problem is causing you problems for that sway to have much impact, I'd guess. Otherwise it comes down to that your role isn't that of stopping her from doing this -- because you can never stop another person from doing something that they want to do. Doesn't matter if theyr'e your mother, your brother, your lover whatever, if they want to do something, you can't stop them. It is their choice. However, if your Mum makes a different choice that's when you WILL be able to help out -- that's when you stand by her and help her get through what will be a difficult time. |
| Deleted User Posts: 1176/-7750 |
It's her choice, though. Why I chased her car seem null to people who think this. I CHASE HER CAR to try and help her stop going away.
I guess I'm no superman. 
Why I persist is way beyond the mental capacity of my case manager. (She's a loony tunes) She IS somewhat right, though. Everyone makes choices. Whether good or bad. I just have to let go. I NEED to let go. But how can I just... STOP caring enough to let go? |
| Apophis Posts: 522/734 |
You're not an being an idiot here. You're a son who cares about his mother and wants her to stop hurting herself and her family. |
| Deleted User Posts: 1175/-7750 |
You know, everyone says that. It's me thats the idiot. I care so much that I RUN AFTER HER CAR AS SHE LEAVES. (Happened today)
I'm so desparate for her to get better. So stupid and dumb.  It's her choice, I know that. But still, can she HELP herself? |
| Tarale Posts: 1011/2713 |
Well, the thing is, nothing you say or do for a person who is abusing drugs is going to stop them.
They have to want to stop. They actually have to do the hard work to stop. They have to make the decision in the first place. You can want them to stop all you want, but the fact is that's not going to help at all. You can't actually MAKE them. You can't beat yourself up at all over something you have absolutely zero control over either. So, you just have to be there to help out when things go bad. Maybe eventually your Mum will realise that her actions are hurting you and it might help her change. |
| Skreename Posts: 480/1427 |
Tarale's right. Sometimes addictions are hard to fight by people who aren't the individual with the addiction. You just have to keep your head up, do what you can... There's no shame in not being able to completely fix the problem, because you aren't the one who has it. |
| Tarale Posts: 1003/2713 |
Originally posted by Xygushy Yeah, but there's nothing you can do to stop her, so don't take it as a failure of you to do something properly or well enough. I can't stop my brother doing all of the shit he does with drugs and whatnot either. The best I can do is be there to help pick up the pieces when he fucks it all up. That might be the best you can do for your mother too. |
| Deleted User Posts: 1169/-7750 |
Yeah. I just need support. A few words of encouragement to get over this. I shouldn't care anymore, but my unconditional love is making me not give up on her. Every time she pulls this and lies, though, I feel like a failure. |
| Tarale Posts: 965/2713 |
The fact is you are still under the guardianship of your parents, and places like the Kids Help Line are in a position to be able to assist -- or point in the right direction -- in cases where somebody needs help with guardianship related issues.
Don't take it to mean that it's just for little kids.  And I'd give you the name of an American support system that was its equal but being in Australia I have no fucking idea what that would be, so I gave you the Australian one best suited for your situation.
And the reason I've suggested such a place (as opposed to a forum / this forum) is that they actually have real resources that they can provide you with -- phone numbers of actual services that can assist you -- etc. You want to do something about it? The first part is going to be research. Find out what support is available to you, find out about the support services, and contact them. Asking us for help will only get you so far, because unless anybody here has actually been in the same situation we can probably only provide you with fairly speculative advice, and support. If you're just after support, that's fine. |
| Deleted User Posts: 1168/-7750 |
I'm no kid. I'm almost graduating.
....now I feel like an immature baby. |
| Tarale Posts: 964/2713 |
I don't know what the equivalent is in your country but here we have the Kids Help Line. Call the equivalent there and ask them for help. They should know relevant support services that can get you moving in the right direction. |
| Deleted User Posts: 1167/-7750 |
Remember my mom's drug problem? She's gone insane with it now. Leaving whole days at a time. |
| Tarale Posts: 962/2713 |
You might need to explain a bit better. I feel like I've walked in half way through a movie and I'm trying to work out what's happening without knowing the first part of the plot.
I assume you're having problems with your mother? I'm not sure as this is never explicitly stated, but that seems to be where this is heading? Am I right? |
| Deleted User Posts: 1166/-7750 |
I'm out of ideas. I ried to move legally, I almost tried ending my life a couple times, I even thought about just up and leaving.
I want out of this mess. I graduate on May 30th, but I don't want to see my mom clapping in the audience. and me having to... thank her for something.
Call me childish or whatever. I thought I could push her in the right direction by being there for her. It proved it just hurts me. I'm so out of ideas. |
