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| 0 users currently in Femine's Corner. |
| User | Post |
| Vyper Posts: 271/575 |
Originally posted by Danielle I agree with you as well, Danielle. People who hook up for the sole purpose of sex suck ass. |
| Iori Yagami Posts: 526/570 |
I agree with you there Dani. That's so not worth it if you have to give the guy sex all the time to make him stay with you. Not really a relationship then in my opinion. Just makes you seem like a concubine instead.  |
| Danielle Posts: 3814/6737 |
If the only way to make him stick around is to promise him sex, that's not a very good sign. But that's just my opinion. |
| Skreename Posts: 465/1427 |
I'd somehow have to guess that if that's the only reason the guy would be sticking around, she'd be better off with someone else, anyway. Not even quite sure what kind of relationship that'd build, but I doubt it's the kind that would last past a few years, tops. You know, once the whole "OMG SEX" thing wears off. |
| Vyper Posts: 270/575 |
Putting out is probably the easiest way to get a guy to stick around. Especially if the girl is hot.
Yeah, having a decent personality is a great thing and is inevitably the reason a person will fall in love, but there's something about knowing he can get sex that makes a guy loyal. The vagina is the most useful tool on the planet. Learn to weild it properly. Also the fact that a guy is confident he'll eventually get some is probably his greatest motivator. We males are willing to work for it. Snow Tomato, use this to your advantage. Just the vague impression that you'll eventually "give it up" is the best way to "hook the fish." Then all you have to do is reel him in (in case those reading can't figure it out, I'm eluding to Silvershield's version of "what you should do"). People are like jigsaw puzzles; just put the pieces together... correctly. |
| Silvershield Posts: 263/587 |
Originally posted by SkreenameWhether "hooking up" is actually sex or even something as minor as kissing, it works toward the same purpose. If you're ready to be physically intimate (read "heavy kissing") with a guy whom you've just met, it subconsciously says something about how soon you'll be willing to let him become even closer to you. Any person I know that hooks up with a person he or she barely knows has no qualms about allowing that relationship to become sexual; if you hooked up with this guy when you barely knew him, it isn't outrageous to propose that he assumes that he can expect more from you in the near future. Not to preach, but what you "should" do if you're afraid of being used is to deny any sort of physicality whatsoever, beyond maybe innocent and controlled kissing. After a week (or ideally more), give him a bit more maybe, and gradually and patiently advance to whatever level you're willing to ultimately reach; if at any point he tries to rush you or criticize you for not giving as much as he'd like, that's a pretty good sign that he has other things on his mind. |
| Skreename Posts: 418/1427 |
Just adding a bit of context for part of what Silvershield saw... "hooking up" is a very vague term. It's pretty hard to judge what it means, particularly if it's supposedly done repeatedly. |
| Silvershield Posts: 262/587 |
Originally posted by Snow TomatoYour previous post implied that he keeps coming back because he has consistently had some sort of physical activity with you. Whether that's actually sex or just heavy kissing or whatever it may be, if you're giving him the sign that you're a physically or sexually open person, he'll expect you to offer him more sooner rather than later. So he pursues you. Though I don't approve of any sort of sexual activity early in a relationship just on general principal, there's a practical reason as well: even if you don't exaclty sleep with him the first time you see him, if you're quick to make out or hook up with a guy then that sends a definite message about your willingness to be physical at all, and suggests semi-consciously (or maybe even fully consciously) that, if he pursues it for a minimal amount of time, he can expect more. So, you're shooting yourself in the foot. |
| Snow Tomato Posts: 725/798 |
Who said I was giving him sex every time we hung out? Who said we've had sex? I don't/we haven't. |
| Silvershield Posts: 260/587 |
Originally posted by Snow TomatoMaybe there is nothing wrong with sex, but as long as you stick to that mindset you'll be destined to have your heart broken repeatedly. I'm not going to call you a slut or anything like that if you give it up to a guy very early in a relationship - my values are obviously different than yours, but to each his own - but it's a bit silly for you to complain about not knowing a guy's motives but then refusing to resort to the only course that will allow you to determine those motives. Even if you don't believe in withholding sex until later in a relationship, it's the only practical method I can imagine that will allow you to know what a guy's intentions are. If you keep it from him and he's cool with it (for an extended period of time - not a week), then you've landed a winner. If he complains about it frequently or tries to rush you, that's a pretty good sign that he's not in it for your wonderful personality. It's common sense. I'm not trying to tell you that sex is bad - like I said, you and I have a different opinion regarding the role of sex in a relationship, but I'm not here to argue that with you - but you're stupid if you complain about getting involved with shallow guys when you have a very effective way of finding out that such guys are shallow before you give them your heart. You're just too horny to be patient and use it. Originally posted by Snow TomatoWell, if you're giving him sex every time that you've hung out, then he's probably coming back again because he expects it to continue...are you really not cognizant of that? Originally posted by Snow TomatoSure, with a good deal of heartache to accompany it. Why not just use my brilliant afore-described strategy to catch a jackass early in your relationship and avoid the problem before it becomes a situation that could be emotionally damaging? |
| Danielle Posts: 3741/6737 |
I agree that you should hold back from sex until you're 100% sure that's not why he's with you. If you refuse and that IS what he's after, he'll make it clear, I believe. And while that might hurt you to discover, it will save you a lot of pain later on. |
| Deleted User Posts: 57/-7750 |
Originally posted by Snow Tomato Easy. Just assume it's always about getting a nut. |
| Snow Tomato Posts: 723/798 |
There's nothing bad about sex. The only thing is... how can you know if he wants to hang out with you because he wants to and likes you.. or because he just wants some poon?
I guess at this point I can say that it'll become obvious if you just give it time. If you take a step back and look at the situations you've been in... and if they're still there after a couple of times hanging out.. then they probably really do have something for you. And yeah, the person I was worried about this with asked me out.. I'm going to his senior prom with him.. and I do actually for the first time in a long time.. feel a really strong weird connection. Which is why I was worried if it was different on his end.. but as time reveals.. it's not. I mean won't it just kind of smack you in the face if they're using you after a while? |
| Keitaro Posts: 312/373 |
Originally posted by insectduel Not really. Usualy in their case they don't truly love anyone in the first place. If you honestly and truly loved someone, you would never cheat on them like that, and if you did, you'd feel like complete shit, not continue to do it. But then again, some people work differently. I personaly think its the lowest of low. *shrug* |
| Deleted User Posts: 6/-7750 |
Anyman who treats a woman like crap needs to be gunned down and shot in the head!
Women should be respected. |
| Black Lord + Posts: 111/273 |
Originally posted by Ghost See, that would be good advice, but some women really want to be used... some women seek just sex in a relationship... it's not just a one-sided show guys. But moving on... What's so bad about sex... Somedays I just need to have a nice hearty romp in the sack, and blow of some steam, and afterwards I don't feel like talking, is that wrong... no.. granted... it's not always all you want, but sometimes, I get urges, and it is all I want, call it being a man or what you will. The bad thing is when those urges come at the wrong time, say watching a nice family movie with gf's grandparents... not a good time for urges... But yeah, I'm fairly certain my special someone loves me back, granted we have little to nothing in common, except that we're gamers, so yeah... I mean, someone who would let you love them, and not try to break it off if they don't love you back, is just cruel, end of story. |
| Deleted User Posts: 55/-7750 |
I have next to 0 respect to young girls, it's been proven that while females are young they're nearly retarded and irrational; later they're generally just slightly stupid and still irrational
and below zip for busters like this: Originally posted by Chump EDIT: Sorry, Ghost, totally meant to edit your name out. |
| Deleted User Posts: 628/-7750 |
I can't stand people who have no respect for women...
Women are beautiful and delicate, and every men should treat them with respect... if they don't then they are foolish... I always treat my gf with the ultimate respect treating her as a princess, because she is something so wonderful to me...  .
My advice to the girls here... stay away from the "bad boy" type... they're just going to use you, and then forget about you... they will care less about your feelings... My girlfriend has a friend that's married to this guy who beats her... I'm sorry but I have no respect for cowards like that... a man that seeks only sex is a fool, straight up without a doubt! My gf wants us to go on a double date with them, but I told her I wouldn't be able to stare at the man for very long without losing my cool... but that's just me...  |
| Deleted User Posts: 2/-7750 |
Originally posted by insectduel I disagree; it's usually less to have control over a partner, but rather the temptation of sweet, sweet ass. |
| Anya Posts: 760/1176 |
A felt connection. Hard to explain it, but the only two times that I felt it and felt it back, I just knew and felt it...heck, still do from time to time. Its a good, yet scary feeling to have. But you can't have the good without the bad. Anyway, best way to know, is to ask, but people lie, so that might not be the best way to know. |
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